


The Blue that Reminds Me of Home

by Nightyelfy



Category: Compilation of Final Fantasy VII, Crisis Core: Final Fantasy VII, Final Fantasy, Final Fantasy VII (Video Game 1997), Final Fantasy VII Remake (Video Game 2020)
Genre: Affection, Angst and Fluff and Smut, Angst with a Happy Ending, Betrayal, Boys In Love, Boys Kissing, Canon Compliant, Character Study, Confessions, Conversations, Crushes, Developing Relationship, Drama, Emotional Hurt/Comfort, Emotions, Enemies to Friends, Eventual Romance, Eventual Smut, Eye Contact, Falling In Love, Feelings Realization, First Kiss, Fluff, Fluff and Hurt/Comfort, Fluff and Smut, Forehead Kisses, Friends to Lovers, Friendship, Fugitives, Getting Together, Grief/Mourning, Happy Ending, Heart-to-Heart, Internal Conflict, Intimacy, Introspection, Kissing, Light Angst, Loss, M/M, Mako Poisoning (Compilation of FFVII), Military, Mutual Pining, OTP Feels, Pining, Promises, Romance, Secrets, Sexual Content, Slow Burn, Smut, Sweet, Tenderness, To Be Continued, Trust Issues, Warm and Fuzzy Feelings
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-05-09
Updated: 2020-09-30
Packaged: 2021-03-03 02:55:06
Rating: Mature
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 16
Words: 135,495
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/24097675
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Nightyelfy/pseuds/Nightyelfy
Summary: As an aspiring First Class SOLDIER, Zack Fair is faced with an unforeseen challenge when he stumbles upon a rare sight during a routine recon mission. A blond-haired rookie graces his presence and unknowingly stirs him, provoking emotions he has yet no name for.
Relationships: Zack Fair & Angeal Hewley, Zack Fair & Genesis Rhapsodos, Zack Fair & Kunsel, Zack Fair & Sephiroth, Zack Fair & Tifa Lockhart, Zack Fair & Tseng, Zack Fair/Aerith Gainsborough, Zack Fair/Aerith Gainsborough/Cloud Strife, Zack Fair/Angeal Hewley/Genesis Rhapsodos/Sephiroth/Cloud Strife, Zack Fair/Cloud Strife, Zack Fair/Sephiroth/Cloud Strife
Comments: 106
Kudos: 235





	1. Chapter 1

Just as the day began with the rising sun, so did his training routine. While the world saw many changes through incredibly technical advancements and research, that part of Zack Fair’s life hadn’t changed. He was still the same ambitious guy who set out that faithful day many years ago out of Gongaga—always looking for the next challenge, his chin high, and eyes keen on the horizon. On the promise of a new dawn, a brighter future, a better tomorrow. As a SOLDIER, he was willing to do anything if it meant protecting the people and serving as a symbol of honor. 

Ever since Angeal began overseeing his training, his ambition to become a top-ranking SOLDIER had only intensified. And with every mission carried out successfully, with every task that he directed and led to outstanding results, Zack got closer to achieving his goal. He heard Angeal hinting at his promotion to First Class on multiple occasions. And while it was too early to say anything for sure, the opportunity was there. 

As far as Zack could see, nothing was standing in his way, and he couldn’t have been more excited. So excited, in fact, that he there were nights in which he couldn’t sleep. Instead of wasting the night away, scouring the ceiling of his room, looking for hidden meaning in dust particles, and the monotonous noises of electrical discharges carried through the wiring in the walls, Zack sprinted out of bed. 

He put on a loose tank top and a long pair of pants and made his way towards the inner courtyard of the military base where he had been stationed since he joined Shinra. Picking up a practice sword from one of the weapons racks, Zack decided on adding more hours to his training session. 

A SOLDIER was more than a trained unit of the Shinra military branch. It was a symbol, a badge of honor, a legacy. And if he wanted to be worthy of it genuinely, he needed his body to be able to support its weight and carry it further. There couldn’t be any trace of hesitation. Giving up could never be a solution. Zack was willing to do everything it took to show that he could rise to the challenge. With those thoughts coursing through his mind, animating his gestures, fueling his attacks, it wasn’t long before Zack’s diligence began showing as broad sweat stains across his dark tank top. 

Zack Fair recognized how fortunate he was to be able to train alongside the greatest SOLDIERs ever to honor their ranks. Angeal, Genesis, and Sephiroth were the best of the best, living embodiments of what it meant to be a hero. The stories told of their deeds did no justice to the actual fact of seeing them in action. Zack accompanied them on numerous missions in the past, always excited to hear that they asked for him or that they recommended he joined. Zack treasured the bonds and memories forged between them, seeing them as a testament to his growth both as a person and soldier, and ability to adapt. 

Throughout his years in service, he has accumulated a vast array of field knowledge and combat skills. That was why Zack was confident that he wouldn't disappoint if they’d eventually choose to promote him to First Class. The sense of honor that had been instilled in him by his mentor was shining brighter than ever, throbbing in his chest with every heartbeat as though eager to come forward and display its potency before the whole world. And because of that deep-rooted belief, Zack knew he’d not falter when the challenge arose. He was focused... steadfast... and determined to see his dream made a reality.

* * * * *

The call to action came in early the morning. A loud alarm was echoing raucously through the barracks, waking Zack up. Understanding the urgency behind the summon, Zack rushed to get ready and sprung out the room. He made his way down the corridor towards the meeting room, his eyes glancing swiftly through the tall glass windows that overlooked the inner courtyard of the Shinra Military Base. A large number of men were roaming around, the captains quick to direct and assemble the troops.

„Quite the big crowd out there,” Zack said after exchanging a brief greeting with his mentor. „Are they tagging along?”

„Ah, you mean the rookies. While they’re not fresh out of training, they haven’t seen any field action yet,” Angeal allowed, walking alongside Zack towards the courtyard. „Can I count on you to keep an eye out for possible SOLDIER candidates?”

„No doubt,” Zack smiled, excited at the thought of Angeal’s level of trust towards him. „What of today’s mission?”

„Recon mostly,” Angeal said, keeping his eyes focused ahead as they passed through the gate. 

They’ve done recon missions many times in the past, and they almost never required a large number of troops. The thought that not only two SOLDIERs were needed but also a squadron of rookies made Zack wonder. 

„Mostly,” Zack murmured, half stating, half asking as Angeal jumped in the truck that was waiting for them.

Zack had his mouth open to speak, wanting to ask Angeal more about the mission’s specifics when something caught the corner of his eye. A fleeting shadow, a savage gust of wind, a cold tremor, an undefined forced beckoned for him. It all happened so fast, but as though tempted by that voiceless call, he turned to study his surroundings. 

Before Zack’s eyes, a large mass of soldiers was getting ready for actions. Some were more lively than others, some nervous, others eager, their captains loudly instructing them, ensuring they keep moving, whether to sort out their gear or get in line with others. And just as he was passing over them with his gaze, Zack stopped upon a spot. Somewhere in the back of a nearby row. A soldier among the rookies, most likely a rookie himself. 

Zack narrowed his eyes, focusing on investigating. The rookie was not as tall as his comrades, but because he hadn’t gotten a chance to put his helmet on, he could see that he was blond. That fair feature caught his eye more than anything. It was a rare sight indeed, not only in the military base but also back in his hometown, as the people of Gongaga were all dark-haired. 

Still uncertain of the reason curiosity gripped him, he followed the rookie with his eyes. For somebody like Zack, who has seen his fair share of action on the field and in the same measure of recruits, he quickly recognizes that the blond boy was struggling not to fall behind. He was clumsy putting on his gear, but Zack could see that he was trying his best. He was determined to show that he was able, that he could carry out the mission his captain put on his shoulders. That he could keep up with his fellow brothers in arms. 

„Zack, are you coming?”

He turned on his heels, the sound of his name in Angeal’s rough voice startling him. Zack repeatedly blinked, looking to ground himself in the present. 

„Ah,” he cleared his throat and jumped in the car alongside Angeal. „Sorry about that.”

Angeal nodded and was met with a smile from Zack as he sat down with his back towards the military base. 

Zack adjusted himself, shaking his head to dispel the bizarre haze that fell upon his mind. He swallowed and tilted his head slightly, keen to catch one more glimpse of the person he saw before, thinking he might help define that which stirred his heart. Much to his silent dismay, Zack wasn’t able to spot the blond rookie again. He disappeared without a trace in the sea of soldiers that began marching out alongside their truck.

* * * * *

The recon mission was carried out successfully. While it didn’t yield any casualties, because of some minor rebel interference, a handful of soldiers needed to be treated for scratches and bruises. The recruits showed good energy and determination in the field, but their clumsy or close to nonexistent battle reflexes were evident.

On their way back to base, Zack dwelled on the fact that there was a time when he also was in their shoes. Sure he had some scars as a reminder of his youthful stubbornness, but despite forcing himself, he couldn’t truly pinpoint the memories anymore. It all felt like a lifetime ago. But the feelings were still there, swirling around in his heart. He recalled the weight of his decision to leave home, the fear of disappointing his parents, the regret of not talking to them and telling them about his plans. Despite fighting its reawakening, the guilt was inching its way out from the back of his mind, slithering to reach his heart.

„Are you alright?” Angeal asked once he heard the loud sigh Zack let out instinctively.

„Oh, of course,” he said and feigning a smile, brushed the back of his head with his long fingers. „This mission was quite something, huh?”

Angeal huffed in amusement, and their conversation fell into natural silence. Zack feared Angeal must’ve caught on to his troubled heart, but did not dare continue the conversation. He knew all too well Angeal already had too much on his plate to worry about his brief moments of melancholy. And so, he chose to keep quiet about the matter altogether.

* * * * *

Zack made a habit out of staying up and training at night. He knew his sword techniques needed improving if he were ever to be compared to one of his heroes and took advance of the cold night breeze to practice his skills and sharpen his senses.

The night was peaceful and quiet, and Zack had the entire inner courtyard to himself. As much as he wanted to train alongside his peers and to laugh and share a good story with them, he made the night his time alone. The period he spent with his thoughts and his heart, which as of late, seemed unexplainably heavier than before. 

„Have you been sleeping well recently?” Angeal turned to him and asked just as they were heading into the meeting room that next morning.

„Me?” Zack rushed, Angeal’s intervention catching him unprepared. „Ah, yes, never better! How come you ask?”

„We’ve been busy lately. A lot of missions, training, and recruiting. I fear it might overwhelm you if you don’t take care of yourself properly.”

„No need to worry about me,” Zack chuckled. „This is what I signed up for. If nothing else, it’s a good way to keep my senses sharp.”

„Glad to see that fire hasn’t died out, Zack.”

„Only burns stronger by the day,” he smiled as he met Angeal’s eyes.

The talk with Angeal stayed on Zack’s mind for a long while afterward. It wasn’t necessarily what they talked about that got him thinking but rather how Angeal presented himself. Even on the day of the recon mission, Zack felt something amiss with his mentor. 

Angeal was reluctant to give him additional details or to talk for that matter. They were supposed to scout an area, a rugged valley far away from any settlements, and yet, Angeal was tense, concerned... fearful even. Could he have known they would be met with resistance? While their opponents turned out to be simple ill-equipped rebels, they were nothing they couldn’t handle. But if that was all there was to their mission, then it wouldn’t have stirred Angeal so much. 

As much as Zack wanted to pursue that line of inquiry, he soon lost himself in the tasks he was given, both around the base and outside of it. Angeal’s words couldn’t have been further from the truth: they were more active now than probably ever before. And because of that, Zack never found the moment to talk to Angeal. To appropriately talk to him. Whenever they met, they’d exchange some greetings, and the specifics of the tasks that needed their attention was all. The rest lingered at the tip of his tongue and because he didn’t want to seem overbearing, he pushed his doubts further into the back of his mind.

There was a sort of unpredictability that came with their job. While some things they could control, there was a lot they couldn’t. And that was something Zack never denied himself, although there were times when he wished he could have better grasp over certain things. 

Zack looked up at the sky and took a deep breath. It was a bright, warm day. The wind was capricious as it sped up, reaching out towards him with rushed and chilled breezes. But it helped him center his mind, refocus his senses, fasten his feet on the ground. If only his heart wouldn’t be so troubled. The sharp twinge that lingered there like a newly discovered scar all too familiar to him at this point. Zack narrowed his eyes and bringing his hand to his chest, clutched onto his uniforms, his undefined frustration clawing at his temper.

Ever since the day of the recon mission, he hasn’t seen the blond rookie that so distinctively caught his eye. Zack didn’t know why he kept appearing in his mind when he least expected. But there was something about him that seemed familiar, like the shape of a distant relative or the smile a childhood friend. 

But Zack didn’t know him. And in a place as massive as the Shinra military base, chances were slim to stumble upon him again. Not that he would know where to begin looking for him even if he wanted. 

It wasn’t so much that Zack wished to see the blond rookie again, although there was no denying it any longer. At the back of his mind, a niggling curiosity caught root that day and had slowly been sprouting ever since. Zack found himself yearning for that undefined feeling that shook him when he first set eyes on the blond. 

There was no name for what he was feeling, there were no clear thoughts or coherent connections he could make. But there was a desire. And at that point, Zack didn’t know what to do about it anymore.

* * * * *

The next few days were quiet. A much-deserved reprise after the hectic month that imposed itself with such force on Zack. Although he wasn’t made to leave the base anymore, his tasks continued as usual.

Zack spent a lot of his time training the rookies alongside the other captains. There was a lot of work, and as it was his habit, he got buried in his tasks. 

Angeal wasn’t there during that time, nor the other First-class SOLDIERs for that matter. Zack was tempted to inquire about their whereabouts on numerous occasions but was all too used to the director’s way of dismissing him, telling him that First-class business belonged to First-class SOLDIERs. Zack shook his head, recognizing that prying into their affairs would only lead him to another dead end. 

Being by Angeal’s side for so long made Zack find a sense of comfort in his presence, and his absence resonated in odd ways within him, although he never spoke about it to his mentor. 

Zack noticed that Angeal had become distant lately. He felt guilty that he had been so stingy with his words the last time they talked. And maybe the reason Angeal asked if Zack was sleeping well at that time was that he wasn’t. The fear that Zack detected in Angeal, that pressing sense of uneasiness, ultimately rendered him unable to rest. Zack felt burdened by his hesitation to inquire more about the worry that was weighing on his mentor. And because of that, Zack understood that he’d have to do better next time they meet, even if Angeal was reluctant to reach out for help to him. 

Zack stood up from the bench in front of the massive glass windows that overlooked the inner courtyard. His break was all but over, and he needed to head back out to train the next set of recruits before dinner. He dragged a hand through his hair and closing his eyes, he took in a deep breath. The moment tempted him, and he allowed himself to relish in its silence and serenity. The sun beaming through the glass was warm and gentle, patient, and just as alluring. Understand that he would have to follow in its ways if he were to set things right, Zack opened his eyes and instinctively scanned the area below him. 

Among the rows of men gathered there, one of them instantly stood out to him. Zack felt his heart jolt when he recognized the blond rookie from before and excited, he approached the window. By the looks of it, he was made to run alongside a couple of others. More often than not, running was a form of punishment for not being able to keep up with specific tasks. And Zack knew the captains were merciless with their ways of maintaining discipline.

There was no way of telling how much he had already run, but the blond rookie looked worn out, sweat beads dripping relentlessly from his forehead, his shirt stained across his back. However, he was keeping up a good front. Energetic, not willing to admit defeat. Headstrong, not quickly swerved. 

Zack focused and utterly intrigued, followed him with his eyes as he finished his lap of the courtyard. And once his group stopped, they all fell to the ground, exhausted and breathless. Well, all apart from him. 

The blond rookie stood up tall in front of his supervisor, which might not have been such a good idea. And while he was made to run an additional two more laps, Zack’s heart was won by his energy and determination. He smirked, fully approving of the boy’s actions. After taking a moment to share in his victory, Zack turned around and went back to attend to his duties.

* * * * *

It was late into the night when Zack decided to head back to his room. The day had worn him out, but he felt a sense of satisfaction that was too great to put to words. Zack had trained and helped train many of the rookies. It filled his heart with joy to see how much he can help those around him. Every day he got reminded that he chose correctly when he decided to join Shinra’s military branch. The gratitude and smiles on his peers’ faces were proof that he was building up towards something great, both for himself and those around him and also for the entire world.

Zack stopped in his way to his room, in front of one of the massive row of glass windows that overlooked the inner courtyard. A fleeting shadow had caught his eye, and he was now searching to confirm his suspicions. He was certain everybody had called it a day by that point and were now resting in their chambers. While that was the case for most, he was an exception as well as... one more person. 

The blond rookie was outside. Zack had no way of knowing precisely for how long he had been there, but the sweat stains of his light blue shirt were clear that he wasn’t playing around. Just like Zack, he was persistent in his training. Maybe because, just like him, he had something to prove. He had people he looked up to and wanted to impress. He had a mission. He had a dream he was reaching for.

Zack perked up when the rookie stopped his sword in the middle of a strike and lifted his gaze, searching the around him as though sensing something was amiss. Zack froze when his eyes met those of the rookie below. 

The air around him was still, the breath in his lungs faltered, and even his thoughts seemed to have given him a break. Despite the distance between them, Zack felt like the longer he got to gaze into the deep blue of his eyes, the greater the danger of him drowning in them became. And yet, he wasn’t afraid. His eyes were welcoming, warm and serene, just like the sky, when the sun was at its highest. 

Their meeting lasted but a moment, and yet entire eons felt like had passed before Zack heard the world around him resuming its natural caper. Unable to take his eyes off of him and as though through the gaze of a dream, Zack lifted his hand and waved at the blond. A short, quick flick of the hand, more like to show his support for his efforts and that they haven’t gone unnoticed. 

The rookie nodded sharply and flustered, then faced away, looking to resume his training.

Zack repeatedly blinked, forcing himself to snap out of the brief trance that all but overwhelmed him. He drew breath, and turned on his heels, looking to resume his journey to his room. But it proved difficult to keep a steady pace when his heart began thumping loudly in his chest as the image of the bewildered look the blond gave him vividly replayed in his mind.

* * * * *

While Zack hadn’t exchanged a word with the rookie, in a way, he didn’t have to. Because just by observing him in those brief moments, he managed to uncover so much about him. Zack huffed at the thought that he had found an unlikely friend, but at the same time, that thought brought a warmth forth from his heart so intense it dispersed throughout his body and ended in a sly smile on his face every time he recalled it.

A couple of days passed since their encounter. Every time Zack passed through that corridor, he would always steal a glance outside that, on the off chance, he might see the rookie. There was no certainty that the blond would be out there training, but Zack felt drawn to the window, unwilling to let the opportunity slip him by. Although initially only spurred on by curiosity, his boldness quickly got rewarded one night, when in the faint light of some lamps, Zack saw him, training all by himself. 

He hesitated to show himself at first, Zack preferring to stay in the shadow, observing him from afar. The show the blond put on was nothing short of fascinating and different each time Zack would spectate. It wasn’t that he was skilled, but his moves were quick, precise, and there was an elegance to the way he moved that couldn’t be overlooked. 

Angeal had asked Zack to look out for possible candidates for SOLDIER. While nobody had caught his eye, this time around, Zack was convinced that he might’ve just found somebody worthy of the rank. And so with that pretext in mind, Zack would set out every night to check on the progress of the curious blond rookie. His heart lifted every time he saw him out there. By the light of the outdoor lamp, with his practice sword in hand, striking away at the thin air, the movements precise and quick just as he had gotten used to seeing. 

Staying away from him was only something temporary. Because the more familiar Zack got with the blond, the more tempted he became to shorten the distance between them. He might’ve been a rookie, but there was potential in him. And there was a part of Zack that firmly believed he could help chisel his skills, sharp those senses, focus his instincts. 

He clenched his fist and turning, Zack promised himself that would be the last night he would hold himself back. Tomorrow he’d not only approach Angeal with the promise of a new SOLDIER candidate but also greet the blond rookie and finally make his acquaintance.

* * * * *

„Ah, Zack, right on time.”

„The news just reached me,” he said after stopping by Angeal’s side. „Is it true we’re heading out today?”

„You and a couple of squadrons are yes.”

Zack frowned briefly but not willingly. There was something in the way Angeal spoke that made Zack’s skin tighten around him. „Another drill?”

Angeal hesitated. „We need to ensure they are ready. That everybody is ready for what’s to come.” He nodded swiftly and began walking away from him. 

Zack’s lips thinned, and for a moment, he fought himself. Again the same uneasy aura around him as the last time he met Angeal. That and the hesitation eliciting from him.

„Angeal,” he said, and Angeal stopped in his step. „Is there something I need to know about today?”

„The mission stays the same, Zack. I am counting on you.”

„Understood,” Zack said and clenched his fist, driving back his doubts. „I won’t let you down.”

„I know you won’t,” Angeal said, a soft smile on his lips and turning, pressed a hand to his shoulder.

Something was amiss, but that was not the time to dig any further. Zack was expected outside, and because he couldn’t postpone his duties, he rushed his step towards the main gates. 

Angeal had already given the word to the captains to gather the troops. While again, little information was shared with him, Zack has been part of too many missions and, in a sense, knew what to expect. He knew how to steady himself so that no matter what happens, he will be ready to face the upcoming challenge. 

In a way, he was excited about what was to come. He was confident in his abilities and those of the men he helped train, and that feeling managed to soothe his uneasy heart. And despite all that, there was yet another reason behind his excitement. 

Going on a mission with the troops might give him a window of opportunity to see the blond. Chances were high since most of the men heading out that day were composed of rookies and clinging onto those chances, Zack crossed the threshold of the military base. 

Blinded by the light for a brief moment, he focused his eyes on the sight before him and scanned the area. He wasn’t sure what he was expecting to see, but what caught his eye shook him to the core. In the distance, a tall silhouette adorning long silver hair shortened the distance between them with broad, proud strides. Zack recognized him instantly, and he wasn’t the only one. 

As the tall figure passed them, all soldiers began murmuring, applauding, cheering, each one of them manifesting their joy towards seeing a true hero in their manner. Sephiroth was making his way through the men, while they were quick to step aside and make room for him, it was as though he was parting the waters of a sea. 

And in all that awe and glee, Zack’s senses were quick to snap him out of his admiration. Because out of that entire sea of men, he was able to distinguish one of them clearly. And that was when the throbbing in his heart reawakened. Because that person's eyes were drawn to Sephiroth. And the way the blond was looking at Sephiroth, the admiration he had for him, the love was evident in his unfaltering gaze. 

Zack gritted his teeth, that moment leaving an unforeseen impression on him. He forced his gaze away and began walking towards the truck destined for him, somewhere at the front.

„Good luck out there today,” Sephiroth allowed, the words cutting through him as would the blade Masamune when Zack passed and almost brushed shoulders with him.

„Right,” Zack retorted, his eyes unflinching from his destination ahead. 

The exchange happened so quickly, most didn’t even catch it. Zack wouldn’t usually be this cold towards somebody he saw as a hero, but his heavy heart prevented him from manifesting his usual excitement. 

There was something that affected him in all the wrong ways. A sensation he wasn’t familiar with, one that felt like was gripping around his heart, rendering his breath uneven. As much as he tried to steer clear of it, that was the only thing he was thinking of as he headed into the mission that torrid summer day.

* * * * *


	2. Chapter 2

That mission wasn’t a drill. It was anything but a drill. 

The Shinra troops came out of it shaken up, wounded while some didn’t come back at all. They had lost a significant number of men that day, and Zack couldn’t get his mind around the whole incident. It all happened too fast, and in such an unpredictable manner, he couldn’t dismiss the feeling that there was more to the mission than any of them were told. Zack was so out of it on the way back to base that he wasn’t able to take his eyes off his shivering hands.

„There is no excuse for such sloppiness,” Lazard Deusericus, the director of SOLDIER, spoke with spiteful conviction once they had closed the doors to the briefing room. „The captains will answer for this mess.”

Each word of his speech struck Zack like the lash of a whip. He felt disheartened by the whole affair, there was no use hiding it. He had been responsible for training the troops, and in the same manner, he knew the reason he was tasked to accompany them was for protection and observation. But his guilt was quick to surface. And by the way the director was talking, he made it seem like the blame was entirely on the captains.

„They were not at fault,” he offered in one breath, and everybody in the room turned their cold eyes towards him. While he knew all too well that wasn’t his place to speak, the tension became unbearable.

„Zack!” Angeal scolded sharply as his protegee stood up before the director.

„No, Angeal, critical mistakes were made, I made mistakes… I was not precise in my orders,” Zack followed and lowered his head slightly. 

„You weren’t there to command. You don’t need to assume fault for the day’s events. Nor for the lives that were lost,” Angeal said and then turned towards the director, in a way, apologizing for Zack’s behavior.

„As I was saying, I will talk to the captains tomorrow,” the director resumed wryly, moving his hand as though dismissing Zack’s intervention altogether. „There will be repercussions for their actions. As for the rest of the troops, they will train twice as hard each day. We need to make up for the numbers lost,” he finished and threw Zack a glance so chilling it sent a shiver down his spine.

Zack bowed quickly and stormed out the room. While anger was among the amalgam of emotions that were stirring his heart, it wasn’t the one animating him. His conscience wasn’t allowing him any peace either, the pressing feeling of guilt, making his chest tighten every time the voices of the fallen awakened in his mind.

If only he could slow down his thoughts for a moment, Zack would be able to replay the events that unfolded earlier that day. So that he could find answers, some way to mend the tragedy that befell them. Because maybe if he would’ve been able to convey his commands to those around him, nobody would’ve died. If only he were more outspoken like Genesis, determined like Angeal, stronger like Sephiroth then...

„Zack.”

Zack surfaced from his thoughts and turned instinctively only to meet his mentor’s stern expression. „Ah, Angeal... Listen, about back there, I’m sorry, I didn’t mean to be disrespectful, I was just...”

„Stuck in your head?” he continued, Zack’s uneasiness all too noticeable.

„Only a little bit,” he allowed with half a mouth and unnerved, darted his eyes away.

Angeal approached with a steady pace. „Because of what happened today?”

Zack furrowed his brows slightly and took a moment before answering, as though waiting for his heart to settle. „The reason the captains didn’t give any precise orders was that nobody could’ve predicted the ambush,” he said and lifted his gaze to meet his mentor’s. „We were caught off guard... It was almost like the Wutai knew we’d be there and… While fighting in the dark is something some can do, most can’t. It’s not fair to put everybody on the same scale when it comes to… life and death.”

Angeal turned to the side and passing Zack, approached the tall glass windows behind him. „Fairness… it rarely has anything to do with war or life for that matter. The battlefield’s intricacies... in many ways, resemble those of a chessboard,” he offered and gazed outside, his eyes set on observing the blood-stricken sunset. „While there are no precise movements, certain risks need to be considered each time a step is taken. And just like on the chessboard, victory does not come without sacrifices.”

„There was no need for any sacrifices,” Zack resorted and faced his mentor. „We could have made it. All of us could’ve made it if only...”

„If only we keep on going,” Angeal met Zack’s eyes, despair flickering in their dark blue hue. „Things do not change only because we wish them to, Zack. We hold our legacy in our hands. And as long as we don’t lose sight of your goal and always look to honor those around us, then nothing is truly lost.”

Zack exhaled slowly and allowed Angeal’s words to settle in his mind. It was uncanny how well Angeal was able to read him, and because of that, he knew he couldn’t hide anything from him.

While there was a desire to keep fighting, opposing, feed the rebellious fire that was so thoroughly burning inside of him, Zack had to recognize that there was no point. Not only was Angeal right, but the fight for the day had already been concluded. And they weren’t in the winner’s corner that time around, much to his dismay. 

„I just wish I could’ve done more,” Zack said, the words escaping him before he could stop them.

„You will. Next time you are out there, make sure that no move is made in vain. If, in the end, you are the one who claims the day, then the chance wasn’t wasted.”

Zack nodded and lowered his head. He never wished to appear so defeated before Angeal, but the day’s events weight heavily on him. It proved difficult to stay composed when faced with his tumultuous predicament.

„Use the night to rest,” Angeal approached and pressed a hand to his shoulder. „Tomorrow, I need you back out there,” he followed calmly after a long moment.

„Why did you stop me earlier?” Zack lifted his head just as Angeal retreated his hand. „Before the director, I mean.”

„Many things are about to change soon, Zack. War changes everything… and I want you to have all the aces in your corner before that happens. We cannot take chances anymore.”

Zack frowned as Angeal disappeared from before him. He brought his hand to his forehead and lowering it, pressed it against his eyes until he saw flickering lights, his mind a minefield of conflicting thoughts. Despite Angeal’s suggestion to get some rest, Zack found himself stuck at the benches in front of the glass windows for a long time that night.

The hardest thing for Zack to come to terms with was how easily things fell apart. Regardless of the time and dedication invested, the ruthlessness of the world would always claim a bite. Even the promise he made to himself before heading into battle that day remained unfulfilled. Consoling his friend and mentor, was once a priority. Not to mention, discussing with him about… oh, the rookie. 

Zack lifted his eyes and redirected them to the glass window before him. Coming to terms with the fact that he couldn’t find a way to settle his troubled mind on his own, he began searching the horizon, in a way, expecting - yearning even - to stumble upon a familiar sight. One that unexpectedly brought him so much comfort for many nights before this mess of a day. 

As his eyes were getting accustomed to the shape of darkness, Zack’s face took on a lighter tone. There was nobody in the inner courtyard apart from shapeless shadows and a restless wind scattering loose debris. 

Holding his breath, Zack stood up from the bench and approached the window to better investigate the area before him. However, no matter how much he searched, the courtyard was barren. The blond rookie he was used to seeing training at night just wasn’t there. 

Zack bit his lip as he scoured the depths of his mind for possible answers. There was no way the rookie would miss out on training. Because Zack never skipped practice. It was an essential part of his routine unless... Something must’ve happened. 

It then dawned on him that they lost men during their recent mission. Zack swallowed, a cold bead of sweat crossing the side of his face once he made the daunting connection in his mind. 

Could the rookie have been part of those who lost their lives that day? 

Zack shook his head, his heart quick to tremble when so much uneasiness closed in on him from all angles. He didn’t want to believe that was the case. Because the blond rookie held so much promise. He had talent, determination... a dream. 

Huh. Zack barely knew the blond, and yet, there was a sense of familiarity surrounding him that he couldn’t shake off. Not to mention, the unexplainable way he made his heart race every time he saw him.

Zack lifted his hand to his chest and clutched at the soft fabric of his loose shirt. The typical warmth emanating from within had all but evaporated and instead was replaced with an ache so terrible it soured his mouth.

The possibility that he might not see the blond rookie again stirred an odd sense of vulnerability that caught Zack unprepared. As for the thought of losing him… it made him feel like he lost a part of himself. 

Exhaling, Zack lowered his head and turned his back to the window. He squeezed his eyes together for a long moment, struggling to convince himself to put distance between him and the window. With nothing but Angeal’s words echoing in his mind, he forced one slow step after another.

That night’s slumber wasn’t going to be easy. And to make matters worse, Angeal certainly was going to be upset with him tomorrow if he showed up unfocused and lumbering.

* * * * *

Returning to training the troops was easier said than done.

Zack would wake up before the sun and see to it that he had an intensive training session before facing his peers. He needed to do everything in his power so that they wouldn’t detect that horrible vulnerability that awakened in him ever since the day of the ambush. 

Just like his mentor, Zack understood how important it was to shine brightly before those around him. And inspire them, as any hero would. And Zack wanted to do just that, no matter how much his heart was aching.

While many of the troops’ faces were grim with the reminders of the incident that happened a few days prior, Zack made sure that they were always privileged to outstanding training sessions. And that was why despite the lack of sleep and the burden of guilt and loss he was carrying, Zack ensured that everybody gave it their all for the entire time he was out on the training field with them. He was determined not to let the mistakes of the past define who they were, alter their goals, or affect the soldiers’ state of mind. 

It was almost the end of the day when Zack noticed that the sun wasn’t scorching his dark hair from its spot on the sky anymore. Wiping his brow of sweat, he stood upright, face tilted towards the radiant heavens, and closed his eyes. Inhaling deeply, he took a moment to enjoy the sun’s calming warmth and soak in the gentle breeze that grazed his heated body. 

The past days haven’t been easy on him. And although he was putting up a good fight against his troubles, there were moments in which he did feel overwhelmed. With the recent absence of the three First class SOLDIERs, the dangers of the Wutai war closing in on them as well as the disappearance of the blond rookie, Zack came to realize how pressing solitude can get. And that was something he never faired well with.

Understanding he needed to anchor himself in the present, Zack opened his eyes and settled them on the image of the inner courtyard before him. Sure, being busy with training and assignments was an excellent way to keep his mind from dancing with worries, but he needed something more substantial to keep the fire within him burning. And then more than ever, he felt like his heart was searching desperately for anything to latch onto. 

If only...if only Zack could see him again. A moment to gaze upon the blond rookie was all he wanted. So that he could be reminded that the fight was still worth fighting. So that he could feel his heart beating inside of him with such strength, it reverberated throughout his entire body. 

So that he could feel alive again.

Hope seemed foolish to cling onto, but it was the only thing he had. And maybe that was why Zack was relentless in his search. And it wasn’t until his eyes got accustomed to the shape of a distant gate that they grew, and he froze. Fixating upon it, the sight before him turned from peculiar to downright baffling, and it made him doubt his eyes. 

For a long moment, Zack felt numb as though his sense of balance was being tested. Because he had just spotted him. The blond rookie was there, slowly making his way through one of the gates in the far reaches of the courtyard. And it wasn’t until some of his brothers in arms greeted the blond that Zack got confirmation that he wasn’t seeing things.

The longer he kept his eyes on him, the better Zack could distinguish the many bandages that were covering most of his left arm and part of his neck. Zack felt his heart twinge when he realized those must’ve been inflicted during their previous mission. Judging by the paleness of his face, the rookie must’ve just been discharged or came out for some fresh air. Whether that was his decision or the advice of the doctor, it didn’t matter, because Zack couldn’t have been more relieved to see him. 

The blond perked up and turned his gaze towards him. Zack then came to terms with the fact that he must’ve been staring, his lingering gaze a bit too obvious at that point. Not to mention the smile that adorned his lips, so broad that his flushed cheeks were aching. 

Unable to hold himself back, Zack lifted his arm and waved at the blond, his heart switching to a rapid pace. Although taken aback by the unexpected lively greeting, the blond mirrored his gesture, but without the evident excitement. 

Zack wasn’t the type of person to hold back. For the first time in a long while, he was happy, genuinely so, and saw no reason to restrain himself from showing it.

* * * * *

„I can’t believe you actually recommended me for First,” Zack uttered as they left the briefing room that day, Angeal’s tense conversation with the director about Genesis’ desertion still replaying in his mind. „I mean, don’t get me wrong, I’m beyond honored but...”

„You are ready, Zack,” Angeal said, anticipating his words. „You are one of our best. And I have a feeling we’re going to need all hands on deck for what’s to come,” Angeal explained, his stern expression persisting. 

„I understand,” Zack nodded, the gruesome implications of their newest mission still fresh on his mind. „As if the Wutai War wasn’t enough… This whole thing with Genesis, what can we expect?”

„It’s hard to say at this point. But no matter what, make sure you stay true to your convictions,” Angeal advised softly. „Everything becomes clearer when you do.”

„Right,” Zack allowed and pressed his lips together, the weight of the world somehow pressing on his shoulders.

Genesis’ desertion had a different impact on everybody. And as if his sudden departure wasn’t shocking enough, he also took some Second and Third class SOLDIERs with him. For what purpose, that was still yet unknown, and at the same time, utterly baffling. 

Just like Angeal and Sephiroth, Genesis was a hero in his own right. And an incredible erudite for that matter. His devotion to the work of the poet LOVELESS was unparalleled, and the passion with which he spoke about the poems was nothing short of breathtaking. 

Zack remembered fondly how easy it was to get absorbed in the way Genesis would recite poems for them during their brief pauses during missions or while the station at the base. Sure, Genesis was rather hot-headed, and most called him a snob because of the way he turned his nose up to anything that seemed too mundane, but that didn’t take away from his grace and potency on the battlefield. Zack had nothing but admiration for Genesis, and because of that, he was still having trouble coming to terms with his desertion.

But despite his personal feelings towards the matter, as a Shinra SOLDIER, Zack knew just as much as Angeal that they had to fulfill their duty. And at that point, their tasks would have them seek Genesis out. And see to it that whatever his plans were, they were stopped before he could cause more harm.

„Oh, Zack, before you go,” Angeal intervened and snapped Zack out of his mind. „You mentioned you wanted to talk to me about something after our training session the other day,” he stopped and investigated his expression for a long moment. 

There was a part of Zack that wanted to tell Angeal, and in the same measure, the whole world about the inspiring rookie who liked to train in the middle of the night. Who didn’t gave up on the battle, who persevered despite his injuries. Zack’s heart was nothing short of a well of pride because he found somebody who mirrored his determination and ambition. But by the same token, he also desired to keep him a secret. 

„Ah, about that,” Zack mumbled and avoiding Angeal’s persistent gaze, went to rub the back of his neck. „It’s ok. It can wait until after the mission,” he feigned a smile, trying to steer Angeal away from prying any further upon the matter. 

Zack saw how easily things could come apart, and how terrible it felt to be robbed of something he treasured. And maybe even if only for a little while longer, Zack wished to keep him all to himself, no matter how selfish that sounded. 

While Zack never truly managed to explore that selfish side of him, it was because it never made itself felt until then. The appearance of the rookie in his life brought with it a lot of curiosities and temptations and in the same measure, vulnerabilities and doubts. And the longer he spent observing the mysterious blond, the more Zack uncovered about his own self. He didn’t know what to make of what he was feeling, and that terrified him just as much as it intrigued him. 

Zack remembered the twinge in his heart when the blond looked at Sephiroth on the day of their mission, the admiration glowing in his eyes, the way his entire being was drawn to him like a moth to a flame. For a moment, it felt like nobody else mattered or existed around him except Sephiroth. He was the sun that kept everything together, balanced, stable, and the blond wanted nothing more than to be a part of that perfect world. 

It took Zack this long to put a name to the feeling that made his stomach churn that day, but without a doubt now, he was familiar with its name. Jealousy was a complicated beast to tame, but this time around, it quickly settled once Zack was faced the possibility that he might be robbed of the blond rookie before he even got to make his acquaintance. And because he didn’t want to feel like that again, Zack knew he would do everything in his power to make the world a safer place once more.

* * * * *

The mission at Fort Tamblin, among many other things, was supposed to end the Wutai War. And they were to go by what the media said, then it did. But not without a cost. And a dear one at that.

Angeal never returned with them to the Shinra military base that day. He disappeared somewhere in the middle of the operation, and Sephiroth was the first to draw a conclusion upon the matter. 

And his harsh words imprinted themselves in Zack’s mind, where they kept echoing raucously like thunder during a storm. The thought that Angeal betrayed them, that the reason he fled was to join his childhood friend’s, Genesis’ cause rippled through Zack’s chest and almost brought him to his knees. 

„You shouldn’t be so surprised he chose his side when he called for him,” Sephiroth spoke as they were nearing the base. „A family’s bond is stronger than any other.”

„But...,” Zack murmured. „What of the honor he spoke of... what of his honor as SOLDIER?”

„Makes you wonder, doesn’t it?” he said and turned his gaze away, but not before allowing Zack to see the stern glimmer in his grey eyes.

Zack clenched his fist. He struggled to reject the doubt that Sephiroth was trying to instill in his heart. Whether he was testing his trust in his mentor or not, Zack understood he couldn’t allow himself to be swayed so easily. Because regardless of Sephiroth’s take on the entire matter, Zack held dearly onto Angeal’s convictions since, throughout the time they’ve spent together, he made them his own. 

There was little hope Zack could hold onto to keep the image of the honorable version of his mentor alive in his mind, but he had to. Because while everybody around him had given up on Angeal, he hadn’t, and as far as he could see, he never would. Although there was no certainty that Angeal would return to them, Zack had to be patient and wait for a sign from his mentor. He had to trust that the honor Angeal spoke of wouldn’t allow him to stray too far.

* * * * *

An entire month had passed since Angeal disappeared. Zack felt abandoned. And incredibly lonely. The courage that once defined his actioned was now lacking. And while he did his best to keep up appearances before everybody else, there were moments in which his hesitant nature came to the forefront, much to his astonishment.

The blond rookie required a long time to recover from his injuries, and because of that, his night training sessions were no longer part of his schedule. Zack knew that for a fact because he was there every night, meditating in silence by the tall glass windows. And as he stood there, waiting for a sign of change, for a glimmer of hope, at times, he couldn’t help but wonder if his watch would ever amount to anything. 

It wasn’t until Zack was summoned by director Lazar that he felt pulled out of the dark prison that became his mind. He didn’t want to consider it, but judging by the tense atmosphere in the military base and the strained expression on everybody’s faces, it had something to do with the recent developments regarding Genesis’ rebellion.

With slow steps, Zack followed the corridor leading to the briefing room, forcing himself to remain composed no matter what the discussion topic turned out to be. 

Because of the urgency and intricacy with which everything felt like developed around him as of late, Zack never got to make peace with his unofficial promotion. Out of nowhere, he was seen as an intricate part of every mission he was assigned to, especially if it had anything to do with Genesis or Angeal for that matter. Not only did he have access to classified information, but he was more or less working as a First class, now benefiting from assistance from both the Turks and Sephiroth, the only First-class SOLDIER left. 

Again, it all happened so fast. So fast that Zack didn’t allow himself much time to gather his thoughts before heading to the helipad. It wasn’t so much curiosity spurring him on, but the notion that Tseng, the leader of the Turks, was expecting him. As for their mission, they were tasked with surveying Genesis’ hometown for clues that would lead to his whereabouts. 

At that point in time, Zack didn’t know what to expect. And most pressing, had no idea what he would do if he were to see Genesis again. An ambiguous thought began taking shape at the back of his mind. While he trusted himself to fulfill his duty and apprehend Genesis if he were to find him... what about Angeal? 

Because if what Sephiroth had said about him were true and Angeal was indeed a traitor, working alongside Genesis, Zack would have to apply the same measures to apprehend him as he would any other criminal. 

Zack swallowed a gasp as that thought made itself evident in his mind. Gritting his teeth, he stopped on his way to the helipad, the weight of his resolve now too heavy.

It was moments like those that had him at a standstill as deciding the best course of action proved to be agonizing. While his mind was dictating to follow the orders given, as would any SOLDIER, his heart was aching for Angeal’s kind words, dear smile, and comforting presence. 

Zack was conflicted because, as far as he could see, there was no direct method for him to appease both. Taking into consideration one of the last things Angeal said to him about how the difference between SOLDIER classes stood in the amount of effort put into their missions, Zack acknowledged that he had to trust in his instincts. He held honor in his heart, and because of that, he was confident he wouldn’t falter when the moment urged him to make a decision.

Zack exhaled and lifted his head, looking to resume his journey to the helipad. Tseng must’ve lost all patience waiting for him by now. He barely met the Turk but knew they abided by strict policies, and tardiness was probably the thing that was most frowned upon. But just as Zack came to terms with his resolve, he felt his heart stutter. With his eyes lingering on the shape of the glass windows before him, he instinctively felt drawn to them. 

It was still the middle of the day, but by now, it was more than a reflex to look for the blond rookie. And while he wasn’t outside training alongside his brothers in arms, Zack had to trust that he was still there somewhere, recovering, training or helping out however he could. 

Because in a way, that’s all Zack wanted. To know that he was still active. That he was still fighting. That giving up wasn’t something the rookie considered, just as he never had.

* * * * *

After the events that unfolded at Banora, Genesis’ hometown, Zack returned to the military base only to be granted the title of First-class SOLDIER by director Lazar. While the promotion was a welcomed change, his excitement wasn’t nearly as over the top as he’d imagined it would be.

His new uniform felt strange against his skin, tight in all the wrong places, and loose in the others. He couldn’t tell how much of his complaints was his mind fighting his promotion and which was just him slow to accept the change. But no matter how much he struggled with it, the uniform didn’t glow as brightly on him as it did on Angeal. Zack bit his lip, irritated that he wasn’t able to fully enjoy the beginning of that brand new chapter in his life.

Zack spent the night by himself trying to figure out what exactly went wrong and when. Because everything that was once stable and made sense in his life disappeared, leaving behind scars and a lot of confusion. Genesis deserted them. Angeal abandoned him. Sephiroth was yet again named the hero while he was pushed in his shadow, the comfort of his new title the only thing to soothe him. 

As hard as the exchange was, Zack had to take it. Because if nothing else, the battle still raged on. And then more than ever, the world needed heroes to stand above the ashes of the past and forge the path to a brighter future.

Angeal was somewhere out there, and Zack knew it was up to him to find him. Summoning all the strength he had left in his body, he stood up and went in the simulator to train, thinking that although he wasn’t beside him, Angeal would be guiding his hand in spirit.

* * * * *

Zack knew Genesis was cunning, but he never expected he would go as far as attacking the Shinra military base. Zack was quick to mobilize himself and a handful of other soldiers as they proceeded to push back the attack. Steadfast and supportive, Zack proved himself as a capable leader, and together with the troops, he valiantly defended the base.

„He is nearby,” Sephiroth alerted, his words like a cold breeze sending a chill down Zack’s back.

„And where have you been?” Zack barked once he saw not only how long it took Sephiroth to join the defenses but also how distracted he seemed, his mind anywhere but on the battle before them.

„I’ll go on ahead,” Sephiroth followed, sheathing his sword and turning his back on Zack.

„No, Sephiroth, wait,” Zack urged, his actions quick to tempt his anger. „I’ll come with you,” he said, and Sephiroth turned to meet his gaze.

„Then you better be quick,” the silver-haired hero offered softly. „Genesis was never known to be patient.”

Zack clicked his tongue and signaled a few of the nearby captains, instructing them on how to proceed with clearing out the base of the remainder of the aggressors. While the situation was far from being under control, Zack understood Sephiroth’s urgency and was quick to follow him into Midgar. 

Eager to get their hands on Genesis before he did any more harm, Sephiroth led the way without flinching. Zack had no idea how he was able to tell which direction to take or where to go, but Sephiroth seemed steadfast in his instincts. 

Zack had never seen him like this before. His cold, somber demeanor proved impossible to find comfort in. Zack would often turn, stealing glances as though trying to get a better read on him. Sephiroth had never been as approachable as Angeal, but he was a SOLDIER and a true hero in many people’s eyes. And with that in mind, Zack had to trust he knew what he was doing.

„Angeal might be here too,” Zack said after he and Sephiroth stopped before the monstrous Mako Reactor 5. 

„That’s right,” Sephiroth nodded and peered over his shoulder. „What do you propose we do if we encounter him?”

„What do I propose?” Zack repeated, noting Sephiroth’s manner of speaking was slightly different than it was while in the presence of other Shinra military troops. „As SOLDIERs, our instructions are clear, and we have to…”

„I didn’t ask what you would do as a SOLDIER,” Sephiroth allowed and set his eyes on the reactor before him.

„What are you saying then?” Zack inquired, his mouth dry.

„SOLDIERs are human. And humans are prone to errors… so don’t be surprised if we would fail to eliminate or apprehend them for that matter,” Sephiroth allowed, and Zack felt his heart stutter. „But that’s only if we find them before the other soldiers.”

„What are we waiting for then?” Zack urged, new energy to him. „Time is of the essence.”

Sephiroth nodded as he met Zack’s gaze, and together they proceeded inside the reactor. Zack rejoiced, understanding then that he could see Sephiroth as an ally and, in the same manner, trust him. 

Alone, Zack would’ve never been able to see this mission through, but together with Sephiroth, they might just be able to make things right again. And in a way that would not haunt his conscience for the rest of his life. That might’ve been the only chance he got, and he knew he had to do everything in his power to keep up with Sephiroth’s zeal.

And while Zack did eventually stumbled upon Angeal, their reunion was nothing like he imagined it to be. Because Angeal wasn’t... himself. He had changed, or so that’s how he presented himself. Zack feared Genesis might’ve gotten to him because instead of honor and dreams, he was spouting nonsense like monsters and world domination and revenge. 

It felt strange to hear those words coming out of his mouth. Because they didn’t sound right when Angeal said them. Zack had to trust that whatever happened to Angeal, it wasn’t too late to go back. He had to believe that there was a way to reverse all this and that the real Angeal was still in there somewhere, buried underneath speeches of corruption, decay, and death.

Because he held so firmly onto those beliefs, once provoked to fight, Zack refused. He saw right through Angeal’s taunts and knew he wasn’t going to fall for his provocations. Whether from anger or frustration, Angeal decided to deliver the first blow, confident that it would make Zack draw his sword. But Zack welcomed the attack, and it hit it in full force. Still holding onto his refusal to attack his mentor, Zack was sent tumbling down to the slums of Sector 5.

* * * * *

Waking up in an abandoned church felt surreal, as though he was stuck in a VR simulation. It had been years since he saw anything like it, not to mention, real flowers, sprouting between the cracks of the ruined floorboard. Beautiful, soft, and fragrant, they grew tall in the daylight that peaked through the tall glass windows that adorned the church’s walls.

And while their salvation came with the sun’s light, his came in the form of an angel. Or so Zack thought when he first met the pristine eyes of the young girl Aerith who stumbled upon him. 

„You call me an angel, but it was you who came crashing down from the sky,” she giggled as she helped him up from the bed of flowers, lowering herself towards them afterward to investigate the damage he unwillingly caused.

After profuse apologies and sincere words of appreciation for her help, Zack was guided back to town by his newest acquaintance. He didn’t know what to make of their encounter, but there was no denying that being in her presence was just as reassuring as it was comfortable, something Zack hadn’t had the privilege of enjoying in a long while. 

At first, he denied his heart to take glee in those feeling, as he knew how fleeting they were, but a part of him yearned to allow himself to feel at ease, if even for a little while. And because of that, Aerith unknowingly managed to get him back on his feet through her cheerfulness and innocent. 

She was such a breath of fresh air for him that he didn’t know how to behave when next to her. Zack feared that any wrong move might make the girl crumble, but then when he least expected, Aerith would turn around and prove to him that she was so much more than the fragile girl he perceived her to be.

Witty, bright, and warm, Aerith introduced Zack to a part of life that he had all but forgotten about. The horrible world that he had become captive of had left its claw marks on him, and until a point, Zack feared he would never be able to take joy in the simple things in life. The sun’s warmth, the blue sky, the sincere smile of a dear friend. 

Zack appreciated her help and offered to return the favor. Being around Aerith was fun and a very different experience than what he got used to during his years of service. But his reprise from his mission was short-lived once the summon to return to base came in the form of an urgent phone call. 

„I’m sorry but duty calls,” Zack said and lifted his eyes on the horizon, in the director of the Shinra military base.

The word was that Genesis was preparing for another attack, and Zack couldn’t postpone his return any longer. Although reluctant to leave Aerith’s side, he had to see to it that he fulfills his tasks, before any other of his peers get injured or worse.

„So you really are a soldier,” Aerith said and leaned towards him to better investigate his eyes.

„Did you think I was lying?” Zack said, shaking his head in disbelief.

„Hmm,” Aerith lifted her eyes and thought to herself for a long moment. „You don’t look like much of a hero.”

„You have to be kidding me!” Zack sighed in frustration. „I mean… ah, what would it take to prove myself to you?”

„Well, for one, don’t come smashing through the roof and crush the flowers,” Aerith scolded, and Zack clicked his tongue. „And secondly, honor your promises.”

„The flower cart?” Zack said and looked for confirmation on Aerith’s fair face.

She smiled. „So that I can sell my flowers. Don’t you dare forget.”

„I won’t,” Zack huffed and offered her such a bright smile, Aerith mistook him for the sun for a moment.

* * * * *

To call everything as a drastic change of positions was little compared to the reality Zack was living in. If life was indeed a chessboard, then this time around, all the pieces proved to be something else than they initially presented themselves as. Peons turned into knights, knights turned into bishops, kings turned into peons... it was hard to keep up with the changes. But it wasn’t like Zack was given a chance to decipher the meaning behind it all. Or settle his heart for that matter because the next mission was upon him.

As a First Class SOLDIER, there was little downtime for Zack. Genesis was still out there. And whatever they had previously uncovered about him was only the tip of the iceberg. Genesis was not the hero that Zack knew. He had taken on a whole new appearance, and he now presented himself as... something else. 

Genesis not only called himself a monster but the other First-class SOLDIERs too. He claimed they were the result of some heinous experiments, and his decay was the proof. And that it would soon fall on the others. 

While Angeal showed that he was still willing to help them out, offering to assist them with defending their base once it was attacked by Genesis or giving them precious intel, Zack was caught at a crossroads. Zack didn’t know what to make of Genesis’ claims, and although he didn’t want to clump Angeal in the same category as him, he couldn’t entirely dismiss his words either. They were spoken with such an unshakable conviction, Zack found little evidence to refute them. 

If Zack were to believe Angeal’s most recent intel about Genesis’ whereabouts, he would have him head to Modeoheim. Zack knew that if he were to see this through once and for all, he would have to go there. But it wasn’t as easy as it sounded, because no matter how much he wanted, he couldn’t trust Angeal to the same degree as he used to.

There was something different about him. That uneasiness that Zack had detected in him almost half a year ago... it had completely taken over him and at that point rendered him into a shape that Zack found hard to recognize at times. Although Zack recognised that Angeal was still driven by his SOLDIER heart, there was little comfort to take from that.

Zack’s first instinct was to seek Sephiroth out, to ask for his council if nothing else, but Sephiroth was nowhere to be seen again. It frustrated Zack that he wasn’t as dependable as his mentor used to be, but maybe that was why Sephiroth never took any apprentices. But although he might’ve been a lone wolf, his instincts were on point almost always. 

Following in his footsteps, Zack understood he couldn’t stand still and wait for others to act. He had to assume control of the board, or he would risk a significant loss once more.

Zack finished packing his things for his next mission and allowed himself a moment to think. Because of Sephiroth’s unavailability, he would be sent to Modeoheim alongside Tseng. He could already hear him scolding him for his tardiness, but in a way, Tseng couldn’t blame him. 

If the intel were correct, then what they were about to do, what they were about to face would change everything. They had been chasing their tail for too long, a victory for them at that point almost felt unobtainable. 

Zack knew it in his heart that the move he chose to make next would determine how this whole thing that Genesis started would end. While all the pieces of the board were claimed in a way or another, Zack feared to consider which king would outlive the other. The weight of his decisions pressed on his heart, but because he saw no other way, he put one foot in front of the other and exited his room, his First-Class uniform fitting him properly for the first time.

Zack was passing by the benches when his step slowed. He stopped his march, and his eyes darted to the tall glass windows to his left. 

There have been so many things happening in his life that it almost slipped his mind. Although he never forgot, it has been a long while since...since he last saw him. Zack swallowed and unable to fight his yearning, he redirected his march. A small detour, nothing that would take too much of his time. 

While Zack wasn’t sure what he would find, it was clear at that point that old habits died hard. In a way, he was envious at the sort of peace he found by Aerith’s side. And he wished he could have something similar at the base as well since it was the place he spent most of his time. If only he could see him... if only he were there.

Despite all the fragments of hope that loomed in Zack’s heart, there was nothing that could’ve prepared him for what he saw. Because the blond rookie was there. Zack’s eyes widened as they got reaccustomed to the shape of his body. 

The blond rookie’s training session had just been interrupted when a captain approached him and exchanged a few words with him. He seemed flustered at first, but quickly regained his courage and saluted the captain before heading back inside through one of the nearby gates.

Zack exhaled, his eyes almost glowing with gathered tears. There had been a few times when he felt at ease, and he was glad he could get a taste of that before heading into whatever the day had in store for him.

Lifting his head, Zack then nodded swiftly and told himself that the next time he would see the blond rookie, he would not postpone making his acquaintance any longer. His moments of relief were so few and far between he could count them on the one hand, and because of that, he didn’t want to let them pass him by anymore. 

And with that in mind, Zack turned and resumed his journey to the helicopter pad, looking to join Tseng and a couple of other soldiers in a mission to the snowy mountains of Modeoheim.

* * * * *

„You were amazing out there today,” a soft voice allowed as Zack returned to the benches after seeing through with his mission to Modeoheim.

„Only because I had you watching my back!” Zack said with a smile, holding two bottles of water in his hand. 

Zack gifted one of the bottles to his new friend, whom he acquainted himself with during the mission. While it felt surreal to finally put a name to the person who so wholly caught his attention for more than half a year, he wished it were during better circumstances. 

The blond rookie, Cloud Strife, thanked him with a nod and accepted Zack’s gift. Zack followed his fingers as they grabbed at the bottle of water and swallowed, slightly nervous when he felt their warmth brushing against his cold hand. 

„I’m sorry about... Angeal,” Cloud then murmured and lowered his head respectfully in recognition of the death of his mentor.

„Thank you for saying that. I’m sorry as well,” Zack said, his heart still heavy, struggling to accustom himself to the weight of his actions. „I wish I could’ve done more.”

It was hard for him to accept, but in the bigger scheme of things, Angeal needed Zack just as much as he needed him. Angeal might’ve teased his young protegee by calling him the puppy, but there was no doubt that he cared about him. He took him under his wing and guided him for as long as he could. And Zack couldn’t have been more grateful for everything Angeal did for him.

And because Zack was the only one he trusted, Angeal put his liberation in his hands. It might’ve been the hardest thing Zack had to do, but he always wanted to help Angeal. And if defeating him in battle was the only way, the honorable way for him to meet his end, then Zack had to force himself to find consolation in his actions.

In his final moments, Angeal saw to it that Zack inherited his legacy. The Buster Sword, the symbol of his family’s honor, the sword Angeal refused to use, was now in Zack’s care, and, if nothing else, he would see to it that it tasted only glory while in his hands. 

„What’re you saying?” Cloud bit his lip as he squeezed the bottle in his hand. „You saved everybody back there… Zack, you won us the day,” he followed and lifted his eyes to meet Zack’s. „You are a hero.”

Zack opened his mouth to speak, but unable to gather his thoughts in time, he closed it again and swallowed. He moved his gaze towards the tall glass windows before him and nodded, a sincere sign of appreciation towards Cloud’s words of recognition.

„You did well out there too,” he praised and rubbed his face with the palm of his hand to hide his flustered expression. „I suppose that’s what happens when you have a dream spurring you on.”

„A dream?” Cloud repeated, following Zack’s every move with his attentive blue eyes as he stood up and moved to the glass windows before him.

„That’s right,” Zack allowed, and a sly smile rose on his face. „Stay true to that, and you will always figure things out, no matter how dark the day gets.”

„Right,” Cloud said and lowered his eyes, seemingly now stuck in his mind.

Zack peered over his shoulders. He took time to observe Cloud and noticed how uncanny it felt to be near him. Before that mission, there had always been something separating them, be it tangible or otherwise. But now they were so close to each other, Zack couldn’t help but huff in amusement. 

Cloud perked up, his gesture taking him by surprise. „Is everything ok?”

„Just fine,” Zack said and ran a hand through his hair. „Ready for training tomorrow?”

„Yes,” Cloud allowed lively and nodded. „This mission proved to me that despite my previous injuries, I can still put up a fight. And also that I need a lot more training.”

„You’re doing great, Cloud,” Zack approached, and after touching a hand to his shoulder, he retreated, the warmth of his body still lingering on his palm. 

„Good night,” Cloud spoke up, and Zack waved his hand, a quick but sincere farewell.

It wasn’t necessarily that Zack had to go to bed that evening, but his feelings were getting the better of him. It might’ve been the nerves or fatigue, but Zack would’ve employed any excuse to put some distance between them, out of fear that Cloud might hear the thumping of his heart if he were to stick around for even a moment longer.

* * * * *

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> While fleshing out this story, I felt it would be more interesting to focus on the parts that weren't covered by any other media. 
> 
> Everybody in Zack's life impacts him in one way or another and their actions do leave an impression on him. And it's because of that reason that I wanted most of the major characters to have an appearance here. Although people keep coming and leaving his life, there is only one constant in his life, and because of that Zack has a tendency to gravitate towards it (you guys guess who that is :x). 
> 
> Enjoy~


	3. Chapter 3

Overcoming grief seemed like a simple concept. In many ways, it was similar to recovering after getting wounded on the battlefield—a scratch here, a bruise there, nothing Zack couldn’t handle. But the realization of his loss was slow to reach him, like the aftershock of an explosion. 

Zack had no idea that confronting his emotions would turn into one of the hardest battles he had to fight. Because whenever his heart was uneasy, his thoughts instinctively rushed to Angeal, to the comfort he provided, the stability and safety his council offered. 

Deep down, Zack trusted it was only a matter of time before he got to see him again. He confidently believed Angeal was just out on a mission, ever fighting the good fight, inspiring those around him, being a hero for the people in need. And once he’d return to base, Zack would rush to the central court and greet him with a smile, and if his confidence allowed, challenge him to a simulator battle. Zack’s heart was quick to jump at such thoughts, and in his rushed manner, would begin counting down the minutes until his eventual reunion with his mentor.

But then the memories of recent events would rush over him like a wave, and Zack would wake up to a cold present. To a reality in which Angeal was no longer part of. And that was what Zack couldn’t get used to, no matter how much he urged his heart to stop yearning for Angeal’s presence.

On rainy days, Zack found refuge by the tall glass windows. He would sit there for hours until late into the night, watching the rain descend from the heavens, listening to it pouring and splashing against the fine surface of the glass. 

„It rained on that day too,” Zack mumbled to himself as he crossed his arms on his chest, squeezing tightly as the image of Angeal drawing breath for the last time appeared in his mind, awakening the same confusion and hopelessness that he felt then.

There were many reasons Zack couldn’t admit to Angeal’s demise. And one of them was that if he were to do that, he would come to terms with his solitude. Finding that he was alone, he would then have to admit that the only guiding light in his life had all but extinguished. He would be reminded of how quickly things fall apart, how futile fighting sometimes was. 

„If protecting the ones you care for is not our purpose, then what is?” He blurted, his words underlined with a sort of frustration that could’ve easily been confused with anger.

Rattled with pain, Zack raised his head and gazed at the leaden sky. The rain was relentless in its descent, and he was forced to admit that he might’ve gotten himself too caught up in his frustration. He then lifted his fingers to his cheek to find the stream of tears that was running down his face. And how yet again, he was caught unprepared to stop them.

„Whether or not I will be able to meet you again, know that I will hold onto what you most treasured,” Zack then murmured and drew a heavy, long breath as the shape of the Buster Sword glowed in the faint blue neon light of the nearby hallway. 

He lowered his head, carrying the image of the sword behind closed eyes. Angeal wasn’t coming home, and although having yet to make peace with it, Zack knew that. 

Nevertheless, he had to trust that Angeal’s spirit lived on in the sword. And by keeping it with him, Zack recognized that the bond forged between them was, in the end, stronger than any of the doubts that were enveloping his heart, at times, forcing their way inside of it.

„Ah, Zack. So glad to have finally-”

Zack drew breath and gazing upward, was caught aback by the sight. He opened his mouth to call out his name, elated to see his prays got answered. But as his heart took on a calmer rhythm and he was allowed the necessary time to make the much-needed connections with reality, Zack recognized that the person in front of him was not tall, not wearing the distinct dark shoulder-length hair he had been gazing at in his mind’s eye. Instead of Angeal, the pleasant blue of Cloud’s eyes flickered back at him, and Zack was forced to rethink his approach. 

„Found you,” Cloud then finished in a low voice.

Zack’s face must’ve been quite deplorable since Cloud’s courage almost entirely faded as soon as his expression settled. He paused for a long moment, weighing his thoughts, but then opened his mouth to speak once more.

„Is everything ok?”

„Ah, yeah, uh,” Zack cleared his throat and feigning a smile, went to rub his face with his palm. „Sorry, you just caught me at a weird time.”

Zack sneaked a peek at him through his parted fingers and groaned in frustration. While he did his best to put up a confident front before the men, in his moments of solitude, he allowed his thoughts and heart to wander, so much so he was left in a daze when faced with such a devastating avalanche of leftover feelings. 

„I didn’t mean to startle you like that,” Cloud offered, his tone politely calm, as though sensing the distress around Zack. 

Having Cloud stumble upon him so abruptly was something Zack hadn’t anticipated. He didn’t want to show this side of him to anybody else. Because now almost certainly, Cloud would never look at him in the same way as before. He probably lost all respect for him, for his strength, for…

„What was it that you wanted?” Zack asked tersely, but not meaning to sound rude, his thoughts quick to get the better of him when he least expected.

„It’s just that I was... you weren’t there for dinner tonight. I thought you were caught up in your training, but since it’s raining outside, I checked the simulator. It was empty, so I couldn’t help but wonder if...”

„I’ll be fine,” Zack replied promptly, unwilling to allow Cloud to dwell on his morose side. „It’s been a long day. No, scratch that, a long week and…”

Zack found himself at a loss for words. There was nothing he could say that would stop Cloud from prying any further. He came all the way there with the best intentions, and yet, Zack felt ashamed that he wasn’t able to provide his newest friend with an answer that would calm his worries.

„Zack...” Cloud called out, and he perked up. „Losing somebody precious to you... That is a terrible burden to bear on your own.”

Zack lifted his eyes to Cloud’s and felt his heart twinge when he saw him approaching with shy steps. It was as though Cloud saw right through him. Or maybe his bizarre behavior was just that obvious. Not to mention, he was terrible at hiding his feelings, and the news about Angeal’s demise traveled fast. 

But apart from Cloud, nobody talked about him. It was as though everybody around him, the whole world had forgotten about Angeal. After everything he did for Shinra and the soldiers, his name was not welcomed on any of their lips. Zack was frustrated, thinking—no, knowing—that he could’ve done more. But they moved on, set their sights on new horizons. He was the only one still dwelling in the comforts of the past.

„Don’t you go worrying about what I can and can’t carry,” Zack dismissed and turned to the side, Cloud’s presence somehow unsettling him. „My shoulders can bear the weight,” he followed and squeezed his eyes shut, fighting his worries away.

„I don’t doubt you can. But that doesn’t mean you should,” Cloud then said and titled his head slightly, looking to meet his gaze.

Zack huffed out a laugh more out of nervousness than anything else. He parted his lips to speak, but the blond was faster.

„A scar,” Cloud noted, unable to hold himself back and fixated upon the cross-shaped wound on his left cheek.

„More like a reminder,” Zack corrected and pressed his fingers against it, the rough skin now blending perfectly with the rest, as though it had always been there.

„Of dark times?” the blond pressed, uncertain of the amalgam of thoughts still roaming through Zack’s mind.

Zack hummed and turned to gaze at the night sky, where much to his surprise, the rain clouds had all but dispersed. „I wonder...” 

There was no denying Zack felt incredibly vulnerable whenever in Cloud’s presence. Ever since their mission in Modeoheim, the distance between him and Cloud kept shortening. Whether it was training, or sharing a greeting, Zack saw that he contributed in a positive way to uplifting Cloud’s spirit. And because of that, seeing him so disheartened did something to him.

His chest tightened as guilt began coursing through his veins. Zack couldn’t help but feel responsible for Cloud’s sudden dismay. He had a beautiful smile on his face before when he came to greet him, and because of his sour behavior, it had all but vanished.

And what was more, it was way past curfew when Cloud found his way to the upper levels of the Shinra military barracks. There was no denying it, Cloud came all that way for him—to check up on him, regardless of the strict schedule the captains imposed on all rookies.

„Have you ever been on a bike before?” Zack uttered so fast it wasn’t until he saw Cloud’s eyes widen that he caught up with his words. 

„A motorbike?” Cloud blinked repeatedly, taken aback by the question just as much as Zack.

Zack replied with a nod, his eyes fixated upon Cloud’s face, which was nothing short of an amalgam of confusion and something reminiscent of intrigue. Zack didn’t know what came to offer him to ask that, but it just felt so natural. As though asking him if he wanted to train or practice sword fighting. But unlike those previous requests, this one was delivered on an impulse and a weird one at that.

„No, never. I’m not so good with bikes,” Cloud finally offered and averting his eyes, rubbed the back of his neck. „I think I might have a slight…” he then turned to face Zack, startled by his reaction. „Wha-what are you smirking about?”

„Sounds to me like we need to take a trip.”

„What… a trip? Where?” Cloud stuttered and followed Zack with his eyes as he passed him, his direction set down the corridor leading to the elevators.

„Wherever the road takes us,” Zack replied, the smirk never leaving his lips.

„Zack,” he cried out, the urgency in his tone evident. „I don’t think that’s such a good idea. The guards will not let us leave without a good reason.”

„You’re with me,” Zack said softly. „Have a little faith in your hero,” he teased and allowed his eyes to linger, just so that he could catch that unguarded expression on Cloud’s face that made his heart react in all the ways he adored.

Cloud exhaled slowly and took a moment to think. It wasn’t until he met Zack’s eyes that he parted his lips and breathed a „Yes” that made Zack’s heart jump inside of him of joy. The soothing warmth soon followed, and it intensified once the blond began approaching.

„You have no idea what’s in store for you,” he commented once Cloud began walking beside him.

„Oh, please, don’t say that. We haven’t even gotten to the garage, and I’m already regretting this.”

„Are you truly?” Zack asked and peered mischievously to his side.

Cloud gasped and then lowering his gaze to hide his flustered expression, shook his head.

Zack chuckled, and they descended towards the garage, which gave him time to reflect on his actions. He didn’t know why he was doing this. Sure, he could excuse himself by saying that he needed to escape, get some fresh air, a change of scenery. And while all those scenarios weren’t entirely wrong, there was another more potent reason for his behavior. 

Having Cloud by his side stirred something in him. It was like the blond was pushing him, daring him to look up beyond the horizons’ line and step forward. He was the first who recognized him as a hero, he was the first one who saw a weakness in him and... was still willing to stay by his side.

Zack bit his lip when considering that he might be using Cloud as a means to cope with his grief, but then again, no matter what they did, their paths always seemed to intersect in one way or another. 

„Nervous?”

„Ah, n-no,” Cloud brought his eyes up and sketched an unconfident smile. „Not at all.”

„Good, because there’s no reason to be,” Zack offered pleasantly and narrowing his eyes, focused all his attention on Cloud. „Come,” he then urged, motioning for the blond to follow with a quick jerk of the head.

They stepped out of the elevator and began making their way through the massive corridors that connected the garage. There was nobody around, but the lights were burning brightly all around them. 

Zack hummed contemplatively as they went through the main hallway, their footsteps reverberating loudly throughout the vast chambers. Cloud was following him from a safe distance, doing his best to hide his nerves, although Zack could feel them from a mile away. 

Zack recognized the blond was out of his comfort zone, and because he didn’t want to make him even more uncomfortable, he didn’t insist on the matter. Zack couldn’t have been happier that Cloud was willing to fight his nerves so that… he could spend some time by his side. It was a strange concept, and yet that was the second time that the thought crossed Zack’s mind that evening.

„I found it,” Zack announced and turned on his heels to Cloud. „That one.”

The blond stopped and blinked in confusion. He then faced to his right, following Zack’s indication. 

„What’s so special about it?” 

„It’s a three-wheeled motorbike. The latest model in design and maneuvering capabilities,” Zack grinned broadly. „If you are looking for stability, this is what you go for.”

Cloud exhaled softly, allowing himself a moment to come to terms with the fact that Zack’s choice was safe and reliable. His heart was already beating so fast, he didn’t need any other reason to send his pulse through the roof.

„And it’s one of the fastest there is.”

Cloud stood upright and gulped in terror as Zack hoped on the bike and got himself settled in its saddle, his arms casually leaning over the handlebars.

„We’ve come this far,” Zack said softly and turning his gaze to Cloud. „It would be a shame to back out now. Don’t you think?”

Cloud exhaled sharply and, with hesitant steps, made his way towards Zack. It wasn’t until he got on the bike behind Zack, that the latter cheered and with rapid movements, started the engine. The motorbike quickly purred with a violent rhythm, the force within it barely able to be contained. 

„Hold tightly onto me if you are scared,” Zack offered, and Cloud lifted his eyes, meeting the corner of Zack’s pristine blue. „I’ll keep you safe.”

Cloud nodded, and after squeezing his hands even tighter around Zack’s torso, he allowed himself to take a deep breath. 

„You ready?”

„Yes,” Cloud responded a bit too swiftly. „Let’s go.”

Zack huffed, noting that this time, Cloud didn’t even try to deny his nerves. He could feel his entire body shivering behind him, and they hadn’t begun moving.

The garage doors opened automatically, each mechanical tick bringing them closer to the beginning of their journey. Zack was excited, unwilling to delay their trip for even a moment longer. He steadily released the clutch, and in combination with applying a consistent amount of throttle, the bike started gaining speed.

The beginning was slow and steady, and Cloud took comfort in that. But once freed from the constraints of the garage and the base perimeter for that matter, Zack saw no reason to restrain himself on the acceleration. Withing seconds from their departure from Shinra grounds, they felt like they were flying. 

Zack sensed Cloud’s nerves coming alive with the increasing heartbeats he felt reverberating in his back. While scaring the blond had never been his intention, having him so close still felt surreal. And with the image of the night sky above them, Zack could’ve easily confused his surroundings with those of a dream. Probably rivaling the most beautiful dream he’d ever seen.

The breeze was sharp the faster they traveled, but there was no escaping fresh scent of rain that was still dwelling in the air. The night sky stretched above and around, always following them no matter how many turns or roads they took. Despite the pressing dark of the sky, the small, sparkling dots flowering across it overcame the shadow and pierced through, showering the two in delightful bright light. 

Zack loved that. He loved the sky and everything it offered—even the rain. While his eyes were on the road, Zack cherished the fact that his mind was free to wander and explore areas he rarely trod before. At that point, he was now curious to see how far he can go with that exploration.

That moment… whatever it was that he was feeling was special, unique. Together with Cloud, with nothing stopping them, the stars above them as their only witness. Because within that moment, Zack recognized that if even for a little while, he had found peace—in the strangest of places, with the most unlikely person by his side. 

They rode for what felt like entire hours, and after a while, even Cloud relaxed. His grasp was still firm against Zack’s torse, but not out of fear anymore. He saw that his trust in his newest friend was not misplaced. Zack’s driving skills were phenomenal even though he felt like he was directly teasing him whenever he accelerated suddenly or took a curb a bit too tightly.

„And here we are,” Zack uttered as he eventually brought the motorbike to a standstill, the engine crackling as it stalled. „Are you ok?” he peered over his shoulder and asked the blond that was still holding onto him, as though not taking any chances even after they came to a full stop.

„Yeah,” Cloud nodded and slowly allowed his arms to slide off Zack’s warm body. „What is this place?” he asked as he lifted himself off the motorbike and finally let his gaze inspect the surrounding area. 

„This is one of the highest points around here,” he offered and followed in Cloud’s footsteps as the boy wobbled his way towards the edge of the ravine. „Is it quite something, don’t you think?”

Zack’s question flew by Cloud’s ears, and although he heard it, he took his time before gathering his thoughts and answering. While Cloud was sure that his motion sickness would kick in at any moment, it never did. His mind didn’t dwell on the details, as his curiosity overwhelmed him, urging him to take in as much of the view as possible. 

As Cloud approached the cliff that separated them from the rest of the world, he saw how the land stretched far into the distance. It was like nothing he’d ever seen before. The fact that he was able to grasp so much of the world in one view both terrified and intrigued him. The fact that it was past midnight added even more mystery to their surroundings, as the veil of night was generously covering all those features that seemed trivial or deemed quite plain. The horizon line too was barely visible, the union between earth and sky now a tightly held secret.

„It’s like we’re the only ones in the world,” Cloud spoke, his mouth ajar, eyes moving joyfully, soaking in every little detail of the staggering beauty the world laid bare before him.

Zack hummed approvingly and tilted his head slightly towards him. He had a good view of Cloud from that angle and couldn’t help but allow his gaze to linger. While Cloud was utterly mesmerized with the view before him, Zack found himself watching the blond dwell on his fascination. 

Zack huffed and scratching the back of his head, couldn’t help but wonder how all that was happening. It had been quite amusing to think that he had found peace alongside a person that reminded him so much of his military life, of his sworn duty, of his Shinra bounds. 

But then again, everything he had been experiencing seemed contradictory. Not to mention those suspect feelings in his heart that had been brewing ever since the day he set eyes on Cloud. The swarm of thoughts combined with the racing of his heart rendered Zack a complete mess. And he did nothing to oppose it. Quite the opposite, he was encouraging their manifestation with everything he’d been doing so far. 

Cloud probably had no idea the effect he had on him. And it wasn’t like Zack could bring it up either. He had no name for what he was feeling. And because of that, he had no way of explaining it. So instead of troubling the blond with his uncertainties, Zack allowed himself to take joy in what he did know, in what he could make out with his senses. Cloud’s relaxed shoulders, his reassuring presence, his pleasant features.

„Thank you.”

„What for?” Zack gasped, waking from his thoughts.

„For bringing me here. I never knew such a place existed.”

Zack shook his head and approached. „Save the thanks for later. You don’t even know the best part yet.” 

Cloud perked up, his curiosity refocused. He kept his eyes on Zack as he came really close to him. 

„You see, if you reach out like this,” Zack said and extended his right arm towards the heavens as he closed his eyes, trying to overcome the insurmountable distance between him and his target. „It’s almost like you can touch the stars.”

Cloud’s eyebrows jumped upward, his expression perplexed. Zack opened his eyes and pouted after seeing that Cloud was not even attempting to follow in his example.

„Oh, just try it, and you’ll know what I mean,” Zack urged, and moving behind him, he grabbed Cloud's hand and reached out with it towards the stars. „Close your eyes. You might even feel their warmth,” he instructed and smirked. „If you’re lucky.”

Cloud froze. Having Zack so close was unnerving, but unwilling to let it show he closed his eyes as instructed. He tried his best to follow Zack’s indications, but all traces of determination faded as soon as he made sense of his position. 

Cloud felt enveloped by warmth… but it wasn’t because of the stars. Zack was the only one he could feel around him. His steady hand, his warm body touching his, his gentle breath against his skin, his scent still fresh on his clothes. He felt safe, and at ease, and couldn’t resist the temptation of his skin prickling in delight.

Cloud exhaled softly and threw Zack a glance with the corner of his eye. The way the light of stars shone upon him and outlined the rugged features of his face made his heart skip a beat. His knees weakened, and fearing he might stumble, Cloud understood that he couldn’t allow himself to remain so close to Zack any longer. He gulped, and unnerved, darted his gaze away.

„Why did you bring me here?” 

„It’s where the roads led me,” Zack offered nonchalantly and released Cloud from his hold. „I had little say in it.” 

Zack was a strange SOLDIER. And an even more curious person. And yet, Cloud felt like every moment spent by his side was accompanied by a pleasant surprise.

„Liar,” he mumbled under his breath, recognizing that there must’ve been an ulterior motive behind his gesture. „But truly, thank you for this,” Cloud then said, making peace with Zack’s pride and implicitly his desire to remain tight-lipped.

„There’s nothing to thank me for,” Zack shook his head and sat down before the cliff edge, his eyes surveying the distance. „I tend to go where my heart takes me. And you were just brave enough to join me on this adventure.”

Cloud looked at him from a distance. This time around, it was his time to observe Zack, etch the outline of his silhouette in his mind—intriguing, cheerful, lively, and yet so distant and tormented. 

Zack was good at keeping his heart under wraps. But it was clear he was suffering. Cloud wanted nothing more than to be there for him, just as he had been there for him… through so much of his time at SHINRA even though he had only recently been able to put everything together. The excited greetings, the smiles exchanged, the training, the sword maneuvers, everything Zack taught him added to him being not just a better soldier but a steadier and more focused person. 

While still convinced Zack did all that because it was his duty as a SOLDIER to train the troops, that right there… whatever that was between them, it wasn’t part of his training. It had nothing to do with Shinra. And because of that, it felt… special. 

Cloud approached Zack and sat down beside him. They exchanged expressions briefly and then turned their eyes on the panorama before them. Cloud was tempted by a desire to give voice to his thoughts, but every time he would open his mouth to speak, he would be met with the image of a troubled Zack from earlier. Zack already had too many things on his plate, and the last thing Cloud wanted was to add to his list of worries. And so, he made peace with his impulses and relaxing, allowed the serenity of their moment together to envelop him as well. The two stayed in silence watching as the stars flickered above their heads, enjoying the breeze and each other’s company. 

„Oh,” Zack gasped excitedly and turned his head to Cloud. „Did you make a wish?” 

„A wish?” 

„There was a shooting star just then,” he darted his eyes back to the sky, pointing at the faint trail left behind.

Cloud shook his head. „No, I didn’t.” 

„Then make it quick before it’s too late!”

Cloud gasped softly and struggled to scour his mind for anything that resembled a desire. He then closed his eyes and took a long moment before opening them again.

„Well? What did you wish for?”

„No way I’m going to say,” Cloud frowned and stood upright defensively.

„Why not?” Zack rebuked, crossing his arms on his chest. „Come on, I want to know.”

„I can’t say because then… Then it won’t come true.”

Zack’s shoulders relaxed and he tilted his head to Cloud. „I never took you for the superstitious type,” he said ironically and chuckled. 

Just like him, Cloud was a country boy from a remote town, a place whose existence was known only because it was situated near a Mako Reactor. And with every day that passed, Zack got to see how much they had in common. No wonder he was so quick to find a comforting familiarity in his presence. 

„You want to know what I wished for then?”

„Yeah,” Cloud said instinctively, but then, blushed and retreated. „Oh, no, Zack, no! Don’t say it.”

Zack laughed and got up from the ground, Cloud desperately following him with his eyes, thinking that at any moment, he would open his mouth and give voice to his wish. Cloud then stood up as though drawn to trail after Zack. But after recognizing that he was only teasing him, Cloud couldn’t help but laugh too. 

Zack shook his head, amused to see how lively Cloud could be at times. But his relief was short-lived once his eyes got tempted by the shape of the bike. Spurred on by his sense of duty, Zack crossed the distance between him and the motorbike. With shaking hands, he then gripped the cold steel handlebars. 

„Time to head back?”

Cloud’s voice sounded from behind him. Zack nodded, recognizing for the first time that it might’ve been quite irresponsible for them to head out. But at that point, the deed had already been done. And it wasn’t like he regretted it. Zack needed that, whatever that reckless escapade was. 

„Would it be too much to ask for a few more minutes?”

Zack smiled once he heard the blond's request. He shook his head and was delighted when he heard Cloud huff relieved. He then turned, and leaning on the bike, took his time to gaze at the night sky.

* * * * *

Zack was good at his job, there was no doubt about it. The ranking and the praise spoke for themselves. But what he enjoyed most than being out on assignments was training the troops. Although his recent promotion didn’t require him to do that anymore, it wasn’t like anybody was against having him around. He did it out of his own volition, and as long as it didn’t interfere with his regular assignments, nobody would bat an eye in his direction. But just as preparing the troops was a priority, so was training himself.

Zack remembered what he told Cloud that day, about his shoulders being able to carry any burden. And while not entirely a lie, it wasn’t wholly accurate either. Zack was still recovering after the loss of his mentor, and some days were better than others. He was more susceptible to moments of melancholy than before, and whenever that happened, he would promptly retreat from sight. And while most didn’t notice his odd behavior and went about their day as though nothing had happened, Cloud couldn’t dismiss Zack’s reticence. 

At first, he thought it might’ve been a coincidence, but he soon discovered that Zack sought to find refuge from his grief in training himself until exhaustion or solace by the glass windows. He understood his desire to take time for himself and put an order to his thoughts. And while sometimes he was able to muster the courage to approach him, most of the time, Cloud chose to keep his distance, thinking that his prying might come to strain Zack. 

„Cloud.” 

The blond stopped in his steps and squeezed his eyes together. Cloud was confident he would’ve been able to disappear before anybody noticed him. He only came to see if Zack was alright. He never intended to bring their meeting further than that as he hadn’t gathered the necessary courage to say anything that time around. 

„You good?” Zack then asked, approaching him from over the benches, noticing the hesitation in Cloud’s gestures.

Cloud turned on his heels and mumbled, visibly flustered. „Yes, I just…” 

He quickly recognized he had no excuse to be on that level of the military barracks. Since it housed the briefing room and the SOLDIER quarters, there was no reason for a rookie like him even to patrol it. 

„Wanted to see how you were doing.”

Zack huffed out a laugh, appreciating Cloud’s sincerity.

„Every time people seek me out is to task me with assignments. I’m sorry, I’m just not used to this.”

„What exactly do you mean?”

„Nothing, nothing. Don’t mind me,” Zack brought his hand to his temple and shook his head briefly, his lips quick to curl. „I’ve just been stuck in my head for a bit too long again.”

Cloud was all too familiar with his way of dismissing his worries. Zack was so used to helping others, he didn’t even know how to ask for help when he needed it himself. Whether it was pride or something else, Cloud couldn’t say. But that didn’t deter his intention to support his friend. 

„Maybe it would be a good idea to...” Cloud began, but somewhere along the way, his mind turned to blank. 

He never intended such a long pause, but Zack’s eyes unnerved him as soon as he lifted them to meet his. The light in them changed so quickly Cloud had never seen such a vibrant transform before him as they turned from dark and dull into something incredibly alive and bright. 

Zack was begging without speaking, pleading without uttering a word, crying, although there were no tears. And as much as Cloud wanted to reach out to him and help, he felt out of place. He wasn’t brave enough to give voice to his intentions, and ultimately, ask him if he wanted to go out for another ride.

„To get some rest.”

„Right,” Zack stood upright and turned slightly to the side, half expecting Cloud might say something else, half relieved with his suggestion. „Well, then, you should head back too.”

For a long moment after their awkward exchange, they were caught staring at each other, Cloud’s gaze unflinching. It was hard to tell what exactly they were looking for, anticipating to see, yearning to find. But just as Zack thought he was starting to make sense of their predicament, Cloud faced away from him. Nodding, the blond then began putting distance between them. 

After Cloud disappeared down the corridor, Zack kept replaying his expression in his mind. It wasn’t like the blond didn’t find what he was looking for. But more like, once he did, it had frightened him. Cloud vanished just as quickly as he appeared and left Zack yearning for answers. He exhaled and went to turn in for the night, recognizing that he was too tired to make sense of his thoughts anymore.

* * * * *

Understanding that fairness had nothing to do with the battlefield, Zack did everything in his power to prepare the rookies for their future assignments. But just as battle prowess was crucial, so was moral. And Zack never hesitated to talk to them, let them know that there was honor in their actions, in their duty as soldiers. Unknowingly at first, he was doing the same thing Angeal had done to him. Trying to inspire the same honor in every person he got the pleasure of sharing the training grounds with.

Angeal’s speech about honor might’ve become muddled in the last part of his life, but Zack saw through his uncertainty. While his mentor's words weren’t able to convey his determination anymore, his heart was beating with the honor he instilled in Zack, and he could feel it. There was no mistaking that Zack was his living legacy. And in those moments, he would’ve done anything to know that Angeal approved of him. 

The next day came with a different routine. The rookies were all aligned up outside, their captains surveying the squadrons from afar. A new mission was upon them, and while they knew very little about what they were about to face, they had to trust that their captains were ready to instruct and guide them.

Zack noticed the commotion outside just as he was making his way out of the training simulator. He quickly recognized the formation and frowning, he came to terms with the fact that whatever they were conducting, he hadn’t been made aware of any new assignments. Nobody had updated him with their schedule for the day, and that unnerved him to the core. 

As a sudden sense of panic began churning at the back of his head, he rushed his step, looking to catch up with some of the captains. He was scouring his mind for answers, for interpretations of what might’ve happened. And most importantly, what was going to occur.

By the time he reached the courtyard, the troops had already begun to move out. The only thing Zack could do at that point was watch them as they departed, irritated beyond belief that he was left out of the matter altogether. 

While Zack understood that his SOLDIER duty would have him sit on the bench until further notice, the lack of information was nothing but frustrating. It all seemed a bit too familiar, unnervingly so. And what was worse was that he was almost sure that Cloud was among those that were sent out.

Zack clicked his tongue, recognizing he couldn’t let this oversight go. He saw no other way to resolve this misunderstanding than to talk to the director and so began making his way to Lazard’s office. 

He was no longer Second Class. He was no longer Angeal’s puppy. Zack was one of the only two SOLDIERs Shinra had, and his talents were squandered while rookies were being sent out and allowed to die.

Purposelessly. Mercilessly. Neglectfully. 

Zack stopped in his march and forced himself to draw breath. He was angry. He hadn’t been so angry in... forever. And the panic that came with it was no mere joke. He had been through that sort of emotional strain before, and it left scars so deep on his heart they might never heal. But allowing those frustrations to surface in such a vile manner wasn’t a proper approach either. Lazard wasn’t going to be intimidated by him. Zack needed to keep his wits about him if he wanted the director to take him seriously.

Zack crossed the distance between him and the director’s office and knocked on the door a couple of times. He waited for a moment, expecting to hear his cold, stern voice, but nothing followed apart from silence. With a clear urgency to his gestures, Zack then pushed the door open and stepped inside. 

The room was empty. Chillingly so. Zack narrowed his eyes, his suspicions now heightened. Lazard wasn’t around; he hadn’t heard anything from Sephiroth since Modeoheim, and now the rookies have taken their leave from the Shinra barracks too. He groaned displeased, and seeing that there was no way to dispel his frustrations, Zack chose to channel them. 

He turned on his heels and leaving the office, he began heading towards the simulator, looking to add more hours to his training session for the day. Standing still while everybody moved didn’t feel fair. Zack wanted to act, yet he was kept in chains, forced to look at a world on fire. 

„What are we fighting to protect again?” he gave voice to his thoughts as he stepped into the simulator for the third time that afternoon, the highest difficult now selected. 

The image of Cloud covered in bandages was a reoccurring memory. The hopelessness he felt when he thought he might never see him again awakened with a twinge in his heart. But regardless of his burden, there was nothing Zack could do but trust that Cloud would pull through. That their training hadn't been in vain. That he would find his way back. Alive and well. 

It wasn’t until close to midnight that Zack saw the gates opening from his spot at the benches, and his eyes grew twice the size. His body was sore and numb, large bruises covering his torso and part of his sides, but still, he couldn’t have been more relieved at the sight. The troops had returned. And what was more, everybody seemed fine, exhausted, but calm and composed, still respecting formation.

He exhaled slowly, the sweet comfort of relief settling in his body, relaxing his aching muscles. There was no denying he felt ashamed that he put this heart through so much strain for nothing, but then again, there was no way he wouldn't have worried. He experienced „a drill” before, and that turned into something entirely different in a blink of an eye. 

Zack forced himself to draw breath as his thoughts began roaming. While his frustration prevented him from making the necessary connections in his mind before, now that his heart had settled, he was able to look at the reality before him with a fresh perspective. There must’ve been a good reason why he hadn't been made aware of the troops’ schedule, nor was he asked to join them. Something else must’ve been in stored for him. 

It was then Zack noticed he had an unread message on his phone. He wasn’t sure when he had received it, but it must've been some time during his simulator training marathon. With new energy to him, Zack lowered his gaze from the window, and he went to investigate the message. 

His expression changed almost instantly, his relieved smile vanishing without a trace. And because of that, he felt forced to reread the message. And then he went over it once more. But no matter how many times Zack checked it, the instructions still didn’t make sense. Frowning, he couldn’t come to terms with the newest orders that he had to abide by without protest. 

„Zack,” Cloud breathed as he appeared from behind the corner, breathing heavily as though he had been running the entire way there. 

Zack flinched and instinctively threw his phone back in his pocket. He needed a moment to gather his thoughts and speak, but the reaction to seeing Cloud was instantaneous, his heart was the first one to respond to the gaze his delightful blue eyes were aiming at him.

„Welcome back,” Zack eventually breathed and quickly went to scrutinize the blond as though to make sure he wasn’t seeing things.

There was no mistaking it, whatever Cloud had seen that day wasn’t pretty. He looked rough, his uniform was torn and dirtied, yet his exhausted expression, which hid under a layer of determination, was still flawless. 

„Oh, your arm...” Zack’s brows furrowed as his eyes stopped over some torn bandages. 

„Ah, no. It's nothing,” Cloud said and rushed to pull his shredded sleeve over his left arm, looking to cover the injury on his wrist. "This was something I got from back then."

Cloud seemed embarrassed by the fact that Zack had noticed it. Maybe that was why he was so careful in not mention anything before. If anybody would’ve heard, they might’ve recommended he postponed his training, and that was something he couldn’t allow as it would’ve set him even further back compared to his peers. Zack recognized that sort of ambition and didn’t hold his stubbornness against him. Although he wished Cloud would’ve told him about his wound.

„The courtyard was empty,” Cloud said promptly, eager to change the topic. „I was kinda expecting to see you out there.”

„How so?” Zack chuckled. „Don’t tell me whatever your captains put you through wasn’t enough to get the blood pumping?”

„It was an endurance test,” the blond allowed and approached him to sit beside Zack on the benches. „But come to think of it, what you put us through is a lot more intense.”

„So everybody made it, I take it?”

Cloud curled his lips slightly and nodded a couple of times.

„That’s so great to hear,” Zack exhaled relieved, his chest quick to fill with pride. „Also you...,” he mumbled and lifted his gaze. 

Zack's heart stuttered as he was caught in a profound sense of deja vu. Being so close to Cloud again felt surreal, almost like it was too good to be true. And what sent his pulse rushing was that he noticed he would’ve only had to reach out with the tips of his fingers to touch Cloud. Zack couldn’t make sense of the origin of his temptation, but there was a fire within him that was feeding it. He wished to touch him so badly, the tips of his fingers close to igniting from the desire to bridge the little bit of distance that was left standing between them. He was happy to see Cloud, truly happy and proud, and wanted nothing more than to mark the moment of their reunion, to reassure himself that sometimes...sometimes the battle was still worth fighting.

Despite the warmth surging through his body, Zack was forced to regain his composure once he made sense of the defenseless look in Cloud’s eyes. The blond must’ve been exhausted from his assignment that day, and the last thing Zack wanted was to scare him. Zack then quickly darted his gaze away and stood up. He wouldn’t have been able to hold himself back if he stayed beside Cloud for even a moment longer. 

Zack rubbed his forehead, barely able to remember that he started saying something a few moments ago. Alas, at that point, those words were entirely lost to him.

„So tomorrow... training as usual?” Cloud asked, his nervousness coming alive through stuttered words, but brave enough to try and put an end to the pressing silence between them.

„Look at you, barely out of a mission, and looking to prepare for the next,” Zack chuckled from a safe distance. „But tomorrow, I’m afraid I won’t be here. You see, I’m being deployed elsewhere.”

Clenching his fist, Zack felt terrible for lying to Cloud. He simply didn’t have the heart to say anything. The truth was so demeaning in Zack’s eyes that he’d rather have nobody know about it. 

„Deployed?” Cloud repeated, as though unable to believe his ears. „I thought... training us was your mission.”

„Unofficially,” Zack frowned, unable to face him. „It seems you will have to do this without me from now on.”

„Zack, but I…”

„You will do just fine, Cloud,” he offered, looking to disperse his doubts. „Don’t forget you had me as a personal trainer!”

Cloud lowered his head. „So then, there’s nothing to worry about.”

„That’s right,” Zack turned and nodded confidently at the blond. „As long as you stay true to your convictions, everything will become clearer.”

„Something Angeal used to say?” Cloud asked and peered at Zack only to notice the proud smirk he was adorning. „I can see why you like it.”

„Stay safe out there, ok?” Zack narrowed his eyes as he leaned towards Cloud.

Cloud froze, staring at him, his gesture abrupt and words lined with such a distinct sense of worry he couldn’t bring himself to dismiss it. Zack then placed a hand on Cloud’s shoulder and squeezed tightly, as though willing to give a part of himself to the blond if that meant that he would come unscathed from whatever battle he would see next. Anything so that Cloud would be safe. So that he would see him again.

„I promise,” Cloud murmured, the intensity of Zack’s grip sending a shiver down his spine. 

Zack nodded once more and then, with slow steps, began walking away from him. „I’ll hold you to that.”

Zack exhaled sharply, coming to terms with the fact that there wasn’t anything he could do about his situation. As painful as it was for him to admit it, that time around a First Class SOLDIER’s services weren’t needed. And come morning, he would have to leave the barracks. 

„Let’s train when you come back then,” Cloud yelled, and Zack stopped in his step.

He turned around and met Cloud’s eyes only to see how brightly they were glowing, their pleasant blue nothing short of mesmerizing. Zack huffed, his heart quick to remind him of his brazen desire from before.

„You got it.”

* * * * *

Officially, Zack was put on standby. And as if that wasn't enough to wound his pride, he was made to take a forced vacation at a private resort in an undisclosed location, far from anything and anybody. Despite insisting that it was for his well-being, the Turks had been assigned to take care of him during his stay there.

„Watching my every move again, huh?” Zack groaned as Cissnei, one of the Turks would greet him every morning before his run. „What, are you afraid I’m going to run back to work if you turn your back on me for one moment?”

„Oh, would you give it a rest already?” she quickly dismissed and began running alongside him. „Besides, you look like you could use some company.”

It took Zack a couple of nights away from the line of duty to notice how out of place he felt there. Not to mention, abandoned. As though he was sent there so that he wouldn’t remind anybody of the great losses they had suffered from the demise of two of their former SOLDIER-heroes. No wonder Zack felt guilty about it. Although having never had the finger pointed in his direction, he couldn’t help but feel responsible for the loss.

Conflicted by all those scenarios, Zack couldn’t help but put his entire set of values to question. In his heart, SOLDIER was losing its significance little by little every day. Once firm and unbending, the foundation to his entire existence, now began to crack with every blow he received. Nobody addressed him; nobody was willing to reach out to him with information. Angeal and Genesis weren’t brought up for discussion, as though they never even existed. Or maybe people weren’t saying anything when he was around. The Turks were careful by nature, but now they were even more so, and it annoyed Zack beyond words. He was being treated like a child, no matter how much Cissnei claimed otherwise.

Zack spent his days training in any way he could. Long runs on the beach, straining endurance training sessions in the sun. Merciless numbers of pushups and squats. He saw no reason for his forced vacation to put a halt to training. Because if nothing else, it helped him take his mind off the worries that had been buzzing at the back of his mind ever since he received the message about his forced deployment. 

Although plagued by many uncertainties, Zack had to trust that above everything else, one day, the call to action would come. He will be allowed to return to the Shinra military base. To his assignments and duties. And to Cloud. 

Zack stopped in the middle of a squat and moving his gaze around, settled on observing the horizon. The sea was calm and stretched further than his eyes could make out. The pleasant blue the waters reflected once struck by the sun’s rays brought forth a color that reminded him of somebody in particular. 

Cloud was still a mystery to him, and yet Zack couldn’t help but crave for his presence. Because he knew that his eyes would calm him, steady his heart when faced with any sort of trouble. 

Whenever Zack gazed at the sky, he would remember their trip with the motorbike and feel his heart stutter with joy. He cherished the fact that Cloud wasn’t intimidated by him, that he saw him for who he was, beyond titles and strengths and flaws. And because of that, Zack thought of Cloud as somebody important, recognizing that as long as he was nearby, everything seemed like it made sense. 

Maybe that was why that day under a sky filled with bright stars, Zack wished that their time together would never have to come to an end.

„What’s with that weird expression on your face?” 

Cissnei appeared from behind the corner of his eye and startled Zack so much he jumped off his lounge chair.

„Don’t tell me you were meditating,” she giggled and went down to sit on the chair next to his.

„Ah, no, I just… I was wondering if I could request a meeting with Lazard,” Zack mumbled and scratched the back of his head, still flustered by the sudden wake-up call. „Surely, he must be counting down the seconds until he can see me again.” 

„He has been off the radar for some time now,” Cissnei replied without preamble, turning her eyes to him. „While it might be too early to worry, we must trust that he is just taking his time in updating us with his schedule.”

„Lazard keeping secrets from us? Who would’ve thought?” Zack said between his teeth and crossed his arms on his chest.

„What was that?”

„Nothing. Nothing at all,” he gasped and, after clearing his throat loudly, took on a softer tone when speaking. „Say, Cissnei, would it be a bother if… I made a phone call?” Zack asked, and Cissnei lifted an eyebrow in curiosity. „A personal call,” he felt the need to clarify, her gaze unrelenting.

„Oh, don’t tell me,” she scoffed dismissively and darted her eyes away. „You need to call your crush.”

„My-my crush?” Zack repeated, and his heart stuttered. 

He didn’t know he had a crush. He never had a crush before. But maybe that was it. Maybe after all that time, that was the confirmation he needed. The warmth in his heart, the yearning, the comfort… while it might’ve been too hasty to put a label on his feelings, those could’ve been the first signs of Zack realizing he had a crush.

„Yeah. Come on, Zack, it’s obvious you have a thing for Aerith.”

„Aerith,” he repeated the name, and his brows furrowed. „How…wh-why would you say that?”

„Feel free to deny it all you want, but ever since you two met, there’s been a lot of phone calls between you two...” Cissnei smirked, and Zack’s eyes were quick to widen. 

The phone conversations were just as much for his comfort as it was for Aerith’s. The girl found a trustworthy and reliable friend in him just as much as he did in her, and they quickly discovered that they inspired each other to be kind, persevere, and above everything else, take care of those around them. 

„Not to mention, you are the only thing she talks about these days.”

Talking to Aerith was fun and pleasant, and she listened to him unconditionally. While sometimes she would make a harsh remark or a stinging joke at his expense, Zack appreciated her honesty, and in genuinely dark days, she would help lift his heart more than he had ever probably told her. 

„How do you know all this?” Zack barked and turned to face Cissnei. „I haven’t talked about Aerith with anybody else.”

„And you should keep it that way too,” she replied tersely and took a long moment to weigh her thoughts before continuing. „Listen, Zack, it’s no wonder you fell for Aerith. She is special... an Ancient, the last of her kind. And it’s our job to keep an eye on her and on everything she does.” 

Unlike her boss Tseng, Cissnei knew how frustrating it was to be in Zack’s shoes and not be privileged to any information. And because of that, she decided to be a bit more generous, to calm his heart if nothing else. She recognized Zack as a pleasant and kind person and seeing him so perturbed came to bother her too. 

„I had no idea. It’s all news to me,” Zack followed and rubbed the back of his neck, trying to make peace with Cissnei's side of the story.

„You truly are oblivious, aren’t you?”

Zack blinked repeatedly, finding it hard to focus. „What do you mean?”

„About Aerith. Zack, come on, snap out of it already,” Cissnei urged and waved her hand before his dazed eyes. „When somebody likes you, they will do anything to spend time with you." 

_Yeah, let’s go._

_I just wanted to see how you were doing._

_Let’s train when you come back._

Zack gulped in disbelief as the memories engulfed him whole. Cloud’s words were so clearly etched in his mind, it was like he could almost hear him speaking. He felt so connected with the blond that he was almost certain that if he were to turn around and peek behind the corner, he would be met with that delightful glow of Cloud's blue eyes. Zack almost caught himself tilting his body, eager to put his suspicions to the test. 

"So it’s pretty obvious she has feelings for you.”

Zack flinched. He scrunched his lips together, refusing to humor Cissnei and turned on his heels, leaving her behind with a victorious smirk on her face. He retreated inside the villa and closing the door behind him, found refuge in his room.

Zack needed some time to consider the implications of having such feelings for another person. A crush Cissnei called it. But if that was what Cloud had for him, then what would he do? How would he reciprocate his feelings? But then again, was that how Cloud truly felt about him?

And what about him? The thumping of his heart, the yearning to be around him, the warmth in his chest... did he also have a crush on Cloud?

Zack then covered his face with his arm and squeezed his eyes together. He felt silly because he remembered how much he struggled to find a name to define his feelings, but now that he did, he felt even more lost.

Zack never made the phone call to Cloud, nor did he answer Aerith later that night. He was caught as a crossroads, and although he wished to make a decision once and for all, he couldn’t put rhyme or reason behind what was happening. Zack recognized that if he wanted to see his troubles over, he would have to act. But there was little he could do while confined to that idyllic beach resort.

„I’m afraid there’s been a change of plans,” Tseng appeared the next morning and barged into Zack’s room, unimpressed by his already begun morning training session. „Junon is under attack. We need you with us.” 

Zack stopped in the middle of a push-up but refused to face him. He was still displeased for the way he was been treated, but after coming to terms with the fact that just like him, Tseng was only following orders, he forced his frustrations to the back of his head. He then stood up and turned to the Turk to scrutinize him. But no matter how much he frowned, Tseng seemed unimpressed, never flinching out of his stern demeanor.

„Give me a few minutes to gather my things,” Zack said as he passed before him, aiming for the Buster Sword by the window. „And I’ll make my way outside.”

„I thought you’d be more excited about this. It’s not like you were enjoying your vacation anyway,” Tseng commented with such a resounding certainty it was almost like he had been observing him the entire time and not Cissnei.

„That’s what you guys called it. But if that were the case, then why did it feel like prison?” Zack peered over his shoulder, his tone harsh.

„Perhaps mountains are more of your thing. Don’t tell me you miss Modeoheim,” he teased with a curious smirk.

Modeoheim felt like a lifetime ago. And yet, Zack was still connected to it, as though he had never left it.

Zack missed the cold and how it nipped at his face when they were climbing the snowy peaks. At that height, he was so close to the sky that he was tempted to reach out to it numerous times. But most of all, Zack clung onto Modeoheim because back then, Angeal was alive. And he had Cloud by his side. As much as he hated to admit it, Tseng was right, Zack's tendency to take comfort in the past now evident. 

„Stuck in your mind much?” 

„Only a little bit,” Zack muttered instinctively, somehow feeling as though that conversation had already happened, but it wasn’t Tseng he was talking to back then.

Tseng scoffed dismissively and went out the door. He secretly was hoping that once they boarded the helicopter, that zoned-out expression on Zack’s face would disperse so that their mission to Junon would be the only thing that he had in his mind’s eye.

* * * * *


	4. Chapter 4

Although the call to action surprised Zack, it didn’t catch him unprepared. He had been waiting for something to happen, secretly anticipating to be summoned back to work, anything so that he could break free from his confinement. As for the surprise, it came in the form of Tseng requesting his presence on the front lines. 

The Turk had never been one to ask for help, which made Zack question whether there was more to the mission than he led on. Regardless of the circumstances, however, at least then he could stop feeling like a discarded training dummy. And, finally, after all the training, put his skills to good use. 

„Guys,” Cissnei called out, her eyes glued to the helicopter’s narrow window. „We're here.”

Zack perked up and brought his attention to the window behind him. While their response to the emergency call was delivered in good time, the city had already begun crumbling. 

„What the hell happened?” Zack asked, his mouth dry.

People were scattering frantically through the streets, as smoke and debris were clouding the horizon. It was too soon to deliver any definite conclusions as to the amount of damage dealt to their surroundings, but one thing was for sure—the city and its residents needed their assistance.

„Genesis... that’s what happened.”

„What did you say?” Zack’s eyes widened as he turned to face Tseng.

Zack took a moment to process his response, but no matter how many times he heard the Turk leader’s words in his mind, he couldn’t come to terms with their implication.

„Genesis copies have been unleashed upon the city,” Cissnei offered and crossed her arms on her chest. „And what we are witnessing is the aftermath of his unchecked ego.”

„Redirected more like it,” Tseng corrected, affecting a politely bland tone. „This couldn’t have been a coincidence considering Junon is where doctor Hollander is being held for interrogation.”

Zack darted his eyes out the window once more, trying to put a face to the red-robed individuals he saw dispersing through the city, following the lines of the streets, disappearing into alleyways and inside buildings entrances. He frowned, recognizing then that the Genesis clones were still out there, causing havoc, destroying the world the SOLDIER-hero once fought arduously to protect. 

That was the sort of change that Zack couldn’t get his head around mainly because that wasn’t what heroes did. They extinguished the fires, not fanned them. But then again, he had to remind himself that whoever it was that those clones were copied after, it wasn’t the Genesis he knew. Not to mention, Zack could’ve sworn that Genesis died that day... alongside Angeal.

„Whether the real Genesis is still out there or not,” Tseng began as soon as the helicopter began its descent, and threw Zack a chilling gaze. „You need to keep your wits about you. Do not let the past overwhelm you.”

„Spare me the lecture,” Zack stood up, his brows furrowing as he stared the Turk down. „It’s obvious what we came here to do.”

„Are you sure you don’t need a bit of a reminder of what is expected of you, First-class SOLDIER?” Tseng grumbled and grabbed Zack by the arm just as he was about to hop out of the helicopter.

Zack lowered his gaze at their point of contact. He didn’t like the way Tseng was treating him, as though he was the menace and not the assailants in front of them. There was tension in the air, and Zack was doing his best not to act on it, but Tseng was making it difficult for him keep himself grounded.

„If you didn’t trust me, then you shouldn’t have bothered bringing me along.”

„Hollander is inside the detention center, in Upper Junon,” Tseng said tersely, ignoring Zack’s statement and released his arm. „You need to find him and keep him safe. If this is truly Genesis’ doing, he will stop at nothing to get his hands on him.”

Zack nodded, recognizing Tseng wouldn’t be so easily swayed to humor him. „What of the civilians?”

„Cissnei, and I will take care of the evacuation.”

„Roger that, boss,” Zack said with a hint of irony and leaped off the helicopter.

While Zack’s mood had seen better days, his sense of duty was steadfast. There were so many things flying through his mind that he couldn’t slow them down. But it wasn't like he allowed himself a moment to think. An entire city was burning before his eyes, and Zack understood that wasn’t the time to dwell on his frustrations. 

Taking a deep breath and fastening his grip on his sword's handle, Zack charged forward. He was reacting on instinct, striking at the opposition, clearing the way to Upper Junon, facilitating the civilians' evacuation as best he could. 

Seeing the Genesis clones take a stand before him had a strange effect on him. It made Zack glimpse inside his mind and dare to draw some frightening judgments. That whole time, Zack had to bear the death of two SOLDIER-heroes on his shoulders. Both of which he was forced to strike down. But if Genesis was alive, then that might’ve meant that... 

Angeal was alive too. 

Zack frowned as the thought struck him. He stopped in his pursuit, the weight of the Buster Sword suddenly pressing heavily on his back. 

No wonder Tseng behaved so coldly towards him. Tseng knew him well and saw how easily perturbed he got whenever Angeal’s name was mentioned. That was why he forced himself to adopt that harsh attitude. Tseng had to motivate Zack to stay strong and keep his eyes on the mission. There were a lot of things at stake. Their reputations, their future as part of the military, and, most importantly, the lives of the people around them. And because of that, there was no room for errors. 

Zack frowned, recognizing the sort of chance Tseng assumed by taking him along for the mission. He knew the risks of getting him involved from the very beginning, and yet, the Turk chose to bring him there too. Because he wanted to provide him with the closure that he yearned for. And not just that but, he trusted Zack to do a good job.

Hollander was the mind behind both Angeal and Genesis’ births. Ever since he claimed he could help the degrading hero, Genesis became obsessed with him. Whether his healing abilities had any root in reality or not, it didn’t matter because, at that point in time, Genesis saw him as his only hope for survival. Considering how stubborn he got once it came to the things he wanted, Zack knew Genesis would stop at nothing to retrieve the doctor. 

Fastening the Buster Sword on his back, Zack pressed forward through the damaged city of Junon, his heartbeat in tune with his long strides. It wasn’t a secret that Zack had been yearning to find the truth. But to do that, he had to get to Hollander before Genesis. Because if there was somebody that could offer him any answers related to Angeal, it had to be Hollander. 

Whatever was taking place at Junon couldn’t have been a coincidence. The Genesis clones seemed to be working hand in hand with the doctor to accomplish a greater purpose-stall Zack and his team so that Hollander could escape the detention center. And that presumption got proven over and over because no matter how close Zack got to Hollander, the doctor turned out to be more elusive than initially expected and kept evading capture. As though he had been following a well thought through plan.

„Damn it...” Zack blurted as he reached another dead end during his pursuit. „He got into the computer mainframe too, huh?”

Zack groaned displeased as the door in front of him wouldn’t respond to his Shinra badge. The security had been compromised, and Zack had to look for another way around the obstacle. He retraced his steps, and as he was searching for alternative pathways, he heard some commotion from an adjacent chamber. 

Zack hurried his step, and after making his way into a hangar-like hall, he instantly recognized the Shinra military uniform on a soldier somewhere in the distance in front of him. Zack drew breath, relieved thinking that more troops would soon join their mission to alleviate the city of attackers and restore the order. With that excitement in his heart, Zack refocused his attention and approached. 

The closer he got, Zack couldn’t shake the uneasiness that began creping at the back of his mind. There seemed to be nobody else around apart from the lone soldier. And to make matters were, it looked like he was left behind by his squadron. Although he didn’t seem hurt, something definitely was wrong. 

„Hey, you there, are you ok?” Zack pressed calmly, not wishing to startle the soldier.

„Yeah, I’m fine, I’m fine. I have motion sickness. The helicopter trip… it…”

„Motion sickness?” Zack repeated and then frowned pensively, as a startling connection was made in his mind. „Cloud,” the name flew off his lips instinctively.

The soldier before him stood upright and turned to face Zack. With clumsy movements, he proceeded to take off his helmet, the gold of his hair bright and stunning as it appeared from underneath it. 

„I can’t believe it...” Cloud murmured once his eyes settled on his expression, his nervousness quick to come alive through stuttered words. „Zack, is it really you?”

Zack was struck by the sound of his name coming off Cloud’s lips. He allowed its echo to reverberate through him, and for a long moment, he felt like he was floating. It was said with conviction and an inflection of something else—something sweeter and more intimate. If Zack were to take a guess, he could've sworn that Cloud had missed him.

„In the flesh,” Zack allowed and leaving behind any trace of hesitation, reached his arms forward. „It’s so great to see you.”

Zack placed his arms around the blond and pulling him closer, embraced him. He dreamt about their reunion for so long, and now that it was finally happening, he found it hard to restrain himself. It felt so natural to have Cloud beside him that Zack didn’t realize that his gesture might’ve been out of place. Not that Cloud was giving any indication that he was uncomfortable. On the contrary, the blond was clutching at Zack’s back a bit too tightly, pressing his body against his as though he were a shield. 

„You too. Where have you...” Cloud bit his tongue, ceasing with his question before he could finish. 

Wincing, he released himself from Zack’s arms and clutching onto his helmet, Cloud opened his mouth to speak once more. 

„How did you know it was me?”

„How would I not know?” he smirked and titled his head to meet Cloud’s eyes. „You might act all tough and mighty, but you can’t hide from me.”

Zack recognized Cloud must’ve been embarrassed that the secret he held onto so tightly ever since their journey with the motorbike was found out. Zack huffed, remembering how unnerved he felt when Cloud stumbled upon him when he was at his lowest, and now somehow the tables had turned. But that didn’t change anything in his eyes. He still perceived the blond as nothing short of amazing, and Zack wished he could make him see the profound admiration he had for him. Understanding that they had nothing to be ashamed of when next to each other, Zack perceived this opportunity as a means to strengthen their bond.

„And you shouldn’t,” Zack continued and nodded encouragingly at the blond who was still debating whether or not he should put his helmet back on.

Cloud brought his eyes up and took a moment to gaze at Zack. To truly look at him. He had been gone for so long, Cloud wondered if he would get to see him again. Cloud understood better than anybody how much of a danger the world presented and that once out the doors, there was nobody who could guarantee your return. 

But there was no mistaking that the man before him was indeed Zack. The gentle light in his eyes was unmistakable, and Cloud allowed his heart to settle in their glow. Despite still fighting his nausea, Cloud stood upright, and because of Zack’s comforting aura, he eventually managed to regain his composure. 

„How can I help?” Cloud asked with whole new energy to him and set his helmet aside.

Zack’s heart jumped, excited that he wasn’t the only one caught in that fascinating tension their union sparked. There was no denying it any longer, the effect they had on each other was real and just as potent.

„Thought you’d never ask!” Zack smirked victoriously and proceeded to inform Cloud about the mission’s specifics. 

The lowers levels of the building and the ground had been infiltrated and were now swarming with Shinra troops. Zack suspected Hollander might look for a way out via the roof, and so, they began making their way towards the building's upper levels. 

„I’m counting on you to have my back,” Zack peered over his shoulder after they turned the corner to follow another set of hallways.

„Just like back then?” Cloud pressed, stealing a glance just as well.

„Exactly like back then,” Zack confirmed, the bittersweet memory of the snowy peaks of Modeoheim always close to his heart.

Cloud nodded and scrunched his lips together, fighting a smile. That wasn’t the time to feel too much at ease, but he couldn’t help but be joyful at their unexpected reunion. It had been so long since they last saw each other, he dared not remind himself. But being beside Zack was exhilarating, and Cloud feared he might get addicted to the sensation.

The two fended off some aggressors and put up a good fight when stumbling upon an ambush. Zack was quick to congratulate him on his fast reflexes, and Cloud allowed himself a moment, pride beaming around him. Understanding that danger could present itself from any direction, they pressed on cautiously until they encountered a fork in the road. 

„Stay vigilant,” Zack instructed as soon as they stopped and carefully, weighed their options. „For all we know, Genesis might be here too, and as things stand, I can’t say for sure when the others will join us,” he finally said, recognizing that because he was uncertain which way Hollander took, they were forced to split up.

„Understood,” Cloud nodded and went to inspect Zack once more. 

His face looked disgruntled, and Cloud debated the reason behind such a drastic change. It must’ve been the pressure of the mission getting to him, but then again, it wasn’t like Zack to react that way. He was good at taking charge and keeping the situation under control, so something else must’ve stirred him.

„Call out if you need me,” Zack offered, and Cloud’s eyebrows shot up in surprise. „And, I’ll come.”

Cloud’s shoulders relaxed as he finally understood Zack’s predicament. The fact that they would be separated again got to him. Zack might’ve been a bit overprotective, but the threat around them was very much still real. And when faced with so many uncertainties, the risk increased tenfold for everybody involved in the operation. Cloud finally nodded, recognizing that regardless of their personal feelings, they had to press forward and follow through with their mission.

„Zack," the blond called out just as he was about to sprint away. 

„Yeah?” Zack stood upright, a deep, focused frown on his face.

„Be careful,” Cloud allowed and threw him a glance before turning on his heels and proceeding on his own.

Zack gasped, Cloud’s intervention catching him slightly off guard. „You too,” he breathed, fighting the twinge in his heart. 

While uncertain if Cloud heard him, he had to trust that the blond would be able to take care of himself. Gritting his teeth, Zack clenched his hand on the handle of his sword and ran the way opposite Cloud’s.

After a few other close encounters with Genesis clones, Zack finally managed to spot Hollander. He was frantic in his movements, clumsy as fatigue and exasperation were getting to him. Hollander didn’t think the situation would take such a turn for the worse for him. Whatever his initial plan was, it was clear that it was foiled by Zack’s unmatched persistence.

Zack finally seemed to have the upper hand as he was chasing after him down a corridor. He narrowed his eyes, and with the flow of adrenaline rushing through his veins, Zack felt his step quickening. There hadn’t been any signs of additional enemies in quite some time, and he smirked pridefully, thinking luck had finally smiled upon him. 

Hollander was alarmed, it was evident by the bulged eyes and strands of sweat running down his face. He was more than aware that Zack would not let him go and that his escape routes were lessening, and because of that, he allowed panic to rule him.

Zack reached the platform roof of Upper Junon, and panting, acknowledged that Hollander had nowhere else to run. He had done it. Apprehending the doctor could not only be considered a done job, but he could now talk to him about Angeal. Zack could figure out if the bit of hope he had been so desperately clinging onto for so long had any resonance in reality.

With anticipation pulsating within, Zack brought his leg forward, eager to make the step that will bring him closer to resolving a dilemma that had rendered him a blundering mess for such an unnervingly long time. One step is all he had to take for everything to become clear. 

However, just as Zack was about to open his mouth and address Hollander, something startled him. Somewhere in the distance, a voice, a discordant cry echoed with the violent wind that was whirling around him.

Zack’s heart stuttered. There was no chance the other Shinra troops managed to catch up to them, and the only other person that could be there apart from him and Hollander was...

„Cloud,” Zack breathed as a cold shiver ran down his spine. 

Facing away from Hollander, Zack began running from him so fast he could’ve sworn he didn’t allow himself to take a breath, fearing it might take away from his speed. Zack retraced his steps, the thud of explosions going off followed by metal plates grinding against each other, helping him find his way to the source of the distress call.

Zack crossed the threshold of what used to be a service tunnel. In the distance, a bomb had gone off, and most of the chamber laid in ruin. He quickly inspected the area, and as a terrifying sight hit him, Zack saw that he had reached it just in time.

A few feet in front of him, Cloud was barely hanging onto the edge, his grip loosening as seconds ticked away. Zack leaped over to him and reached out with his hand toward the blond. His wounded left hand was the one he managed to catch the ledge with, while the rest of his body was left dangling at the mercy of the space underneath him. 

„Come on, Cloud,” Zack spoke between his teeth, fighting his nerves and, at the same time, summoning all his strength to get a firm hold of the blond. „Listen to me, you aren’t allowed to let go,” he cried out for both his and Cloud’s reassurance only then noting how much his hand was shivering while the blond looked like he was all but spent. „No matter what, don’t you dare give up!”

With a pained expression, Cloud gazed up and locked eyes with Zack. There was urgency in his tone that the blond had never heard before. Unable to be a passive witness to Zack’s exasperation any longer, Cloud then struggled to adjust himself. 

Feeling Zack’s fingers tighten around his wrist, Cloud dared to push himself forward and using the little momentum that he had gathered in his swing, reached out with his other hand to grab onto Zack’s arm. Zack gasped at the sudden contact and recognized he had to act fast. Using his legs for support, Zack then threw his other hand around the blond and, with a swift and firm pull, lifted Cloud over the ledge. 

„Zack, why…” Cloud panted, his body shivering uncontrollably.

„You are safe,” he replied, his gaze stern as he was scanning the area around them. „That’s all that matters now.”

Recognizing that the former tunnel’s stability was waning, Zack reached out to Cloud and slinging his arm over his shoulders, forced him up on his feet. He then urged him forward as the chamber began crumbling around them.

„What about Hollander?” Cloud barely found the strength to ask as they reached the roof-platform of Upper Junon, the setting sun blinding them both for an excruciatingly long moment.

Zack released Cloud from his hold and rushed forward, confident that the doctor was still there. There was no other way he could’ve taken to escape. But that was just wishful thinking from Zack’s part. 

The platform was empty, and no matter how much he searched, there was no trace of Hollander. Zack clicked his tongue, his frustration quick to set in after the adrenaline burnt out in his veins. 

„We will find him,” Zack forced himself to speak and clenched his fist.

He remained in front of Cloud, very still and distant. Zack seemed lost in his mind, and the blond couldn’t help but blame that sudden change of heart on him. While his initial plan was sound, Cloud was aware it did involve certain risks. 

Cloud saw a group of clones rushing through the hallways, looking to intercept him and Zack and feared that if he were to let them through, their mission would fail, and they might even lose their lives. Following in Zack’s example, Cloud understood then that he had to act. While he didn’t hesitate to detonate the grenade he took out from his satchel and send the clones plummeting to the levels below, Cloud was unprepared to face the aftermath of his endeavor when the rest of the structure began collapsing. And he wouldn’t follow the clones to their doom was it not for Zack’s timely intervention. 

„Listen, Zack... about what happened back there,” Cloud began to say as he approached the SOLDIER. „I’m...”

He lifted his eyes to meet Zack’s, fully aware that he would have to answer for his mistakes. Because of the unforeseen consequences of his plan, he cost them their mission and, at the same time, Zack’s drive. 

„What’s wrong?” Cloud gasped, something in Zack’s demeanor unnerving him more than his guilty conscience.

„Sephiroth,” Zack muttered mostly for himself, but Cloud caught his words.

They then both turned around and immediately spotted the silver-haired SOLDIER making his way up the stairs, the glacial aura around him growing and spreading in all directions as he approached.

„What’s the status of Hollander’s apprehension?” Sephiroth asked as soon as he met their gazes. „Zack?” he addressed, an eyebrow raised in indignation as he awaited his reply.

„He got away,” Zack swallowed, and frowning darted his eyes away.

„A failed assignment,” Sephiroth scoffed and proceeded to make his way further down the platform. „What a terrible way to start your record as a First Class SOLDIER.”

Zack gritted his teeth and stepping forward, pressed to close the distance between him and Sephiroth. While he couldn’t put a name to the frustration burdening him, he was sick of carrying it. Despite his rank advancement, he saw that neither Tseng nor Sephiroth treated him with any consideration. 

„You’re the one to talk,” he blurted, his frustration evident. „The Turks and I were the first ones to arrive here,” he pressed, narrowing his eyes at the silver-haired hero. „Where were you while the city shook from its foundations?”

Zack had had enough of the demeaning way he kept looking at him and knew he needed to address it. If they were to work side by side, as equals, they had to clear everything between them. Otherwise, they would never be able to carry on Angeal’s legacy as humanity’s sole heroes.

„Don’t go around pointing fingers. Or draw limitations around me, Zack,” Sephiroth allowed, an alarming tension in his voice that wasn’t there before. 

Sephiroth turned to scrutinize Zack. He never expected the puppy to do more than bark, but somewhere along the line, its fangs sharpened, and it developed a riveting behavior. One that saught respect and yearned for order. Sephiroth narrowed his eyes, unwilling to admit the startling familiarity between the boy before him and his dear friend, Angeal. Exhaling sharply, Sephiroth took a long moment before coming to terms with his misplaced resentment. 

„While we embarked on different paths, destiny would still have us working together,” Sephiroth then spoke, but without his typical arrogance. „I apologize for the distance I’ve adopted towards my duties. That wasn’t fair towards Shinra. Or you.”

Zack gasped, visibly startled by their exchange. Seeing Sephiroth so humble was unusual, bizarre even, yet a welcomed change from the norm. For a moment there, Zack regretted the way he directly attacked his hero, but he had trusted he did the right thing. If Lazard, as their director and leader, wasn’t going to smooth the relationship between them, he had to take the matter into his own hands. 

„Genesis clones are still out there,” Sephiroth continued and investigated the horizon, as though for answers. „Which means that he is out there too.”

„Didn’t he... die?” Zack asked, the lump in his throat pulsating painfully.

„Hard to say,” Sephiroth rebuked calmly as per his manner. „Hollander’s escape was premeditated. I wouldn’t be surprised if he is making his way to Genesis as we speak.”

Understanding the new development in their mission, Sephiroth turned around, looking to return to the rendezvous point. But then he noticed Cloud approaching and narrowing his eyes, stopped in his way. Meeting Sephiroth's chilling gaze, Cloud’s courage faltered, and he halted his step as well. 

„I hope you enjoyed your little retreat, Zack, because you are needed back,” Sephiroth turned his head and addressed him.

„Honestly?” Zack gasped. „That's great, but Sephiroth,” he pressed, unable to dismiss the worry that had been stirring him since he arrived in Junon. „If Genesis is still out there, that means that…”

„That you better hurry back to base so that we can get to the bottom of this,” he urged and faced away before Zack could finish saying his piece. 

Zack swallowed his words and choosing to dwell on his thoughts rather than voice them, let Sephiroth depart. And once he left, Cloud found his way to Zack’s side.

„What was… all that about?”

„Sephiroth sure knows his way around people,” Zack crossed his hands on his chest, his gaze lingering on the silver-haired hero and shook his head.

„Yeah, I could tell,” Cloud shrugged.

Zack snickered and patting Cloud on the back, he urged him forward.

„We have a lot of work ahead of us,” he said and sneaked a peek at the blond to his side. „Think you’re up for it?”

Cloud gasped, his heart stuttering when noticing the distinctive warmth returning to Zack’s words and gestures. He was surprised to find that Zack wasn’t angry with him. Not even in the slightest. 

„Of-of course,” he replied, hiding his flustered expression in the ground.

Cloud had been preparing a speech diligently in his mind while Zack and Sephiroth were talking, sure that he would be called in for questioning and needing to explain his actions before a committee of captains and SOLDIERs alike. By the looks of it, however, Zack once more took the entire thing on his shoulders. 

Instead of focusing on missed opportunities and dwelling on the losses, Zack was preoccupied with the present and the opportunities it presented them with. Cloud couldn’t help but smile at the thought, although he made sure Zack didn’t see it. It might’ve been too soon to celebrate such a bittersweet victory.

„As long as it doesn’t involve helicopters?” Zack raised an eyebrow and quickly leaned to Cloud, eager to take note of his reaction. „Or any automobiles for that matter?”

„Oh, about that,” Cloud muttered, his eyes widening as a sense of panic made his skin prickle. „Is there a chance we could forget about the whole thing?”

Zack laughed and ruffled his hair playfully as he hurried his step and overtook the blond in the narrow corridor that led to the lower levels.

„Could we?” Cloud repeated, his uneasiness increasing the longer Zack refused to answer him. „Zack, please say yes,” he urged and began running to catch up to him.

* * * * *

The meeting ran late into the night. Zack came out of the briefing office with nothing but a throbbing headache and a stiff neck. There was only so long he could endure Tseng’s monotone professional voice and Sephiroth’s glacial eyes. But there were reports to submit, data to gather, and information to exchange. 

Zack almost forgot about the bureaucratic side of the job. But then again, it did have its merits. After it was all said and done, the three seemed more confident, as though they might even be able to anticipate the enemy’s movements if they were ingenious with handling the clues they had gathered. Despite failing to apprehend Hollander, they seemed confident at a chance to come out on top in the end.

Nevertheless, at the back of his mind, Zack knew both Tseng and Sephiroth were displeased with his performance at Junon. He was given direct orders from the very beginning. He had a clear goal to pursue, and he more or less disregarded it for the sake of... another soldier.

But in his eyes, it wasn’t just a soldier. For Zack, every life was precious and thus deserving of protection. Although there was no dismissing the fact that because the life he saved turned out to be Cloud’s, even Zack had to admit that his body acted on its own in that crucial split moment. 

When the realization that Cloud might be in danger struck him, Zack’s mind became a blank. There was no more duty, there was no more right or wrong, up and down. The urge to assist him became synonymous with breathing, and Zack leaped into action without a second’s delay. 

And regardless of the cold stares and the harsh scolding, Zack didn’t doubt that he made the right choice. Since Cloud returned safely to the base alongside them, he admitted that if put in that scenario once more, he would’ve done the same thing. Zack was done losing people that were important to him. And what happened at Junon sealed the deal on that mindset.

„Oh. You’re here,” Zack perked up once he saw Cloud leaning against the glass windows near the benches. „How are you feeling?”

„Good. Barely any stitches were needed after today’s mission,” Cloud’s attempt at a joke brought a chuckle out of Zack as he approached and sat down on the nearest bench.

Zack was having a hard time focusing because of his exhaustion, but he didn’t see that as a reason not to interact with Cloud. And considering how easy it was for him to ignore his hesitations, he found that his exhaustion worked to this advantage that time around.

„I thought you’d be outside training,” Zack prodded, lifting his gaze to the blond, who, for whatever reason, appeared somewhat dejected. 

„That was the initial plan...,” Cloud began and peered to the side. „But I didn’t see you around, and I thought something had happened.”

Zack sat upright and frowned slightly. „You noticed me? I mean watching over you from up here?”

Cloud nodded twice and brought his eyes up to meet Zack’s. „It was comforting to know I wasn’t alone.”

A shiver ran down Zack’s back. His mouth was ajar with astonishment at the sincerity Cloud was displaying. The events of the day must’ve gotten to him, and had an unprecedented effect. It wasn’t in Cloud’s nature to be so unguarded. Zack gambled that it couldn’t have come from weakness but rather, from a place of strength, or trust. Through his actions, Zack managed to bridge that last bit of distance between them and now Cloud... he felt that he could talk freely before Zack. By the looks of it, all hesitation had left him too.

„I came here... to become a SOLDIER. But as it stands, I’ve had little luck in that regard,” Cloud said, rubbing his left wrist, pain still throbbing there from the day’s incident. „I swore that I would train hard every day so that I can prove myself. It was easy to claim that becoming like Sephiroth was my goal,” he paused, the corners of his mouth turned down as though contemplating something sorrowful. 

Zack narrowed his eyes, scrutinizing his every move, weighing his every word as though Cloud had become his lifeline to this world, to this moment. Because of the way Cloud was talking, it made Zack realize how little he knew about him. Sure, he always had an idea of what he was thinking of how his goals and dreams looked like, but having them worded this directly was strange... and exciting. 

They never talked like this before. And in his frantic search for a reason why that was the case, Zack kept turning the blame to him and his habit of allowing work to consume him so wholly.

„But then after I witnessed all the death around me... I got afraid. I saw how easy everything can change, how quick lives and dreams can... disappear as though they were never there, to begin with.”

Zack exhaled softly and noticed how many little things he got to pick up during this exchange. Zack enjoyed the careful way Cloud moved his eyes to the side when he was deep in thought; how gently he rubbed the tips of his fingers together when deciding between what he should say and what to omit; how the corners of his mouth twitched ever so faintly whenever Cloud was distressed. Zack felt incredibly embarrassed. He was so absorbed by everything Cloud was doing that he feared he wouldn’t be able to keep up with his words. 

„That’s why I took to training alone. It was fine at first but eventually, I didn’t know if what I was doing was right. And somewhere in between all that, you appeared in my life,” Cloud allowed, his gaze suddenly refocusing, and Zack’s heart stuttered. „You saw me. And you were the first to approve of what I was doing.”

Zack took Cloud’s pause as a sign for him to take in a deep breath, to calm his soaring heart if nothing else. The thumping in his chest wasn’t helping, as the sound of his heart was reverberating so violently in his ears he could barely hear Cloud anymore.

„Just through that, you brought me the courage that I could never gather on my own. And knowing that you were there, watching over me... made everything I did worthwhile.”

Zack swallowed as a wave of heat surged through his body, his mind now in complete disarray. He was stunned to see how much control the blond had over him. How he could sway him with a word, make his heart race with a look and most noticeable of all, how the light in his eyes provided him with an unmatched sense of ease. He was living in a bubble of contradictions, and although embarrassed and agitated, he wished that moment would stretch into eternity.

„At the time, I couldn’t say for certain, but now, I think it’s more than clear that the reason I’m still here, alive and kicking, is because of you.” 

Wide-eyed, they are caught staring at each other, Cloud’s last sentence resonating with Zack so profoundly, he couldn’t fight his inherent urge to stand up and approach the blond any longer. Zack stopped before him and lifting his hand clumsily, brought it to Cloud’s cheek. 

Unwilling to resist temptation, he brushed the tips of his fingers against the pale of Cloud’s face, tracing soft lines whose meaning only he comprehended. Cloud pressed his lips together, the spots Zack touched reddening as he repeated his gesture. While the motions that Zack made on his skin kept changing, they were always gentle, as though he was looking to capture the shape of Cloud’s face through his touch. 

„What do you want from me?” Zack then breathed, his lips trembling with desire as he leaned closer to the blond. 

„I...” Cloud stuttered, noting how rapidly the distance between them diminished. „Anything you have to offer... is fine by me.”

Zack took a moment to evaluate his position. They were so close to each other, Zack could feel his breath on his lips. He was aware that he was about to cross a line when it came to their positions as soldiers for the military. He understood that once he stepped over that threshold, there was no coming back. But Zack had never felt such an ardent desire before. At least, not since he left home to become a SOLDIER. 

His chest was close to bursting, and he couldn’t fight it anymore. Zack knew he stood no chance of resisting when faced with such a tempting endeavor, and because of it, he steadied his right hand against Cloud’s cheek. He held his breath as anticipation was rendering his mind an amalgam of desire and dither. Closing his eyes, he lunged forward and greedily, pressed his lips against Cloud’s. 

They stayed like that for a long moment, the sound of their racing hearts the only background noise. Zack then retreated and opening his eyes, swallowed a gasp once he saw the staggered expression on Cloud’s face. 

„Cloud...” he breathed and ran his thumb across his lower lip, its softness making his stomach boil with want. „Is this ok?”

Cloud opened his mouth to speak, but no words came out. Zack could feel him shivering under his touch and, in those frantic moments, wasn’t able to place Cloud’s uneasiness.

„Listen, you don’t have to force yourself. If this is not...” Zack began, but his words were lost to him as his focus poured through the cracks of his rationality. 

It was hard to make out between what he wanted and what he was thinking, the warmth in his stomach taking hold of his senses, causing him to appear extremely clumsy before Cloud.

But Cloud was quick to notice that in him. Instead of addressing it, he grabbed Zack’s shirt with both hands and pulled him to his lips. Zack was left breathless for a long moment until the sensation of foreign lips against his began turning tenderly familiar.

The kisses were soft and yet, heated the longer they lingered. Zack hesitated for the longest time to do anything too daring as Cloud still hadn't said his piece about the whole thing, but there was no denying that his desire to taste Zack was just as alive as his was for Cloud.

And each time Cloud would push himself against him, Zack felt unprepared to meet his demands. Cloud was incredibly warm, daring, and sapid, and Zack feared he might do something he'd come to regret if he weren’t careful. But the passion the blond was eliciting was intoxicating, as he was relentlessly attacked his lips as though eager to convey all the things he never managed to voice. 

That was a side of Cloud that Zack had never met before. He was so excited at the encounter that he couldn’t help but be mesmerized with every second he allowed Cloud to have his way with his lips. The rush of their passion was swirling through Zack, igniting him, and he couldn’t resist the temptation of opening his mouth. He was curious to observe how Cloud would react. He was intrigued to see where his hunger would lead him. 

The blond turned out to be just as Zack had imagined. He wasn’t one to give up once a new challenge appeared before him. Because behind Cloud’s reserved demeanor, he turned out to be more than courageous, when he began to lick Zack’s lips teasingly. And then without hesitation, Cloud slid his tongue into his mouth slowly and heatedly, close to driving Zack mad with every push against his tongue.

Zack opened his eyes, the drum of his heartbeat deafening in his ears only to notice the warm blue of Cloud’s eyes glowing back at him between half-opened eyelids. It didn’t take him long afterward to be invaded by the same familiarity that struck him when he first stumbled upon Cloud. 

The comfort he would get from the sun every time it shone from high up in the sky, warming his body with generous light, was a very distinct feeling embedded in Zack’s heart. And yet, there was no mistaking that was the same feeling he found emanating from Cloud. And the reason his eyes gave him comfort was that they reminded him of that which he had been missing and thinking about but never genuinely brought forth from the depths of his mind. 

Zack missed home.

„Ah, I’m so sorry,” Zack exhaled, and placing his hand on Cloud’s shoulder for support, pushed himself slightly from the blond. „Are you ok?”

A sudden rush of guilt overtook Zack. He realized that at one point during their heated kiss, his memories had taken over and directed their passion towards something else.

„I’m fine,” Cloud said after wiping his lower lip with his hand, faint trails of blood staining his skin. „I don’t think I’ll need a doctor to mend this wound.”

Zack shook his head, in a way embarrassed that his kiss took such a turn for the worst. He must’ve bit Cloud when his emotions took the better of him. While Zack felt terrible for branding the blond due to his uneasiness, Cloud's worries lied somewhere else.

„Was it something I did?” he asked, now facing away and rubbing the back of his head.

„Don’t be silly,” Zack offered, quick to ruffle his hair, the desire to touch him still very much alive. „It’s just that you are such a mystery to me.”

„Me?” Cloud pressed and turned halfway to face him. „There’s nothing mysterious about me. Quite the contrary, actually. I am a bit too plain.”

„You are special,” Zack said and brushed Cloud’s reddened cheeks with the back of his fingers. „And in time, I know you will see that too.” 

Zack smirked and turned around, understanding that at that point, some distance will do him some good. At least help him cool his head if nothing else.

„Listen, tomorrow, I have to head out again,” Zack confessed and averted his eyes as soon as Cloud lifted his. „There’s a promise I have to honor,” he allowed, unable to ignore the pleading expression etched on Cloud’s face.

„Will you be gone for long?”

Zack hesitated in answering. Hiding his gaze in the ground, Cloud clenched his fists, ashamed by his outburst.

„Sorry, I didn’t mean to pry. It’s just that the last time you were gone… it was…”

„Cloud…” Zack breathed, Cloud’s uneasiness quick to reach him and leave him cold. „I’ll come back,” he reassured, and bringing the tips of his fingers to Cloud’s chin, he lifted his head so that he could gaze unhindered at his eyes’ flawless beauty.

Cloud nodded, his cheeks reddening with warmth before Zack’s lingering gaze. That time around Zack didn't even attempt to hide his desire for him.

„I’ll hold you to that,” Cloud said and smirked once he saw Zack flinching that he had used his words against him.

Zack leaned towards Cloud once more and closing his eyes, allowed his lips to linger on top of Cloud’s. He wanted to reassure the blond of his return and, at the same time of his willingness to prove that what happened between them wasn’t in the least a mistake or something he regretted.

* * * * *

Zack’s heart was soaring. He was too preoccupied recounting every step he took to bring him to this point in his life to allow sleep to overtake him. And the part about meeting Cloud and moving in on him so abruptly... he couldn’t for the life of him get his head around.

Zack turned from one side of his bed to the other, trying to come to terms with his brazen deed.

He kissed Cloud.

He actually did it, and it was... incredible. He had no idea that was what he wanted to do until he did it. And the memory was still so fresh in his mind. But then again, it wasn’t like it was something he could forget. He had never shown so much passion for anything else that wasn’t related to his military training. And all of a sudden, he was willing to put so much energy and dedication to something else... to something more personal and intimate. With another person. With a fellow brother in arms. With Cloud.

Zack gulped and turned on his other side, his brow furrowing ever so slightly.

Cloud also kissed him. 

So whatever Zack was feeling wasn’t unrequited. In his mind, people didn’t kiss each other on a whim. There must have been something deep within Cloud, an impulse, a sensation, something that made him reply to his sincere gesture with an equally tender one of his own. 

Zack finally flipped on his back and closed his eyes, allowing the memory of their kiss to pass through him like the reinvigorating scent of the morning breeze. Whatever it was their shared that evening, it was mutual. Otherwise, their bodies wouldn’t have reacted with that kind of passion, warmth, and... desire for each other. Although the feelings were there, they might’ve been rather clumsy at expressing themselves.

* * * * *

The next morning, Zack left the base early, fully aware that he had a long way ahead of him to the slums of Sector 5. As he waited for the garage doors to lift, he remembered Cloud’s endearing smile from the previous night before they said their farewells. 

Zack squeezed his eyes together as the warmth of the blond’s body enveloped him once the memory reawakened, and at that moment, there was no point fighting the reddening of his cheeks. No matter how much he thought about Cloud last night, somehow, it wasn’t enough to sate him.

Zack took a deep breath and steadied himself on the motorbike. The last time he was there was with the blond. But not having him beside him this time around, Zack suddenly felt incredibly lonely. And guilty. 

Only after accelerating his way outside of the military base, did Zack recognize that the reason behind his terrible feeling was because he hadn't been entirely honest with Cloud. Last night, he wasn’t able to tell him anything about the reason behind his departure. Yet again. 

The truth was Zack didn’t know what to say or how to say it. Up to a point, he was still struggling to understand what had happened between him and Cloud. And to mention that he needed to go and help Aerith, a girl Cloud had no idea existed might’ve sent all the wrong impressions. And Zack couldn’t do that to him. Zack trusted that in time, once he had the words to explain what was going on in his heart, he would address the issues. But until then, he thought it would be better to use the little free time he had to put an order to his thoughts. 

Zack stopped his motorbike outside the abandoned church in Sector 5. As soon as the noise of his motor ceased, Aerith appeared from behind the massive doors. The girl greeted him with a smile so broad and bright, Zack mistook her for the rising sun for a moment. 

There was no denying that Aerith was excited to meet him, and in the same measure, he was happy to see she was well. It had been a while since they got to spend any time together or talk for that matter. And it felt nice to be given an opportunity to catch up finally. 

However, despite Zack’s innocent intentions, Aerith was of a different mindset. She was relentless in her pursuit to put Zack’s word to the test and urge him to fulfill his promise. 

„The flower cart isn’t going to build itself, you know,” Aerith commented each time she caught Zack getting discouraged at the sight of the limited resources they had available.

But Zack understood what the cart meant to her. And it was only a matter of time before he got excited at the thought that they would be working together to fulfill a dream. He had never been a part of such a project before but spurred on by Aerith’s cheerfulness and lively attitude, Zack saught to put his imagination to good use. 

„Without a shadow of a doubt, the worst thing anybody could do is put limitations on themselves,” Zack commented, looking to encourage them both. „On what they can do and become. On who they can befriend. The sky's the limit!”

„But the sky isn’t welcoming,” Aerith turned to him and said with half a mouth. „I’m afraid of the sky, especially when it turns dark and grumbles as though... looking to devour me.”

Zack flinched when hearing her speak with such conviction. He had no idea that underneath her cheerfulness laid a somewhat deep well of self-doubt and fear of the world. It took him aback, but then again, living under the confinements of a cold and dark metal world would eventually come to stir anybody’s spirit.

„You shouldn’t judge it only when it’s at its worst. The sky can also be incredibly warm and welcoming. Give it a chance, and I’m sure it will come to surprise you,” he smiled and turned to the girl only to notice the long, zoned-out expression on her face as she was staring at a distant point somewhere in front of her.

Zack wasn’t sure if Aerith had even heard him. Whether she was preoccupied with her thoughts or full-out ignoring him, Zack didn’t know, but that only encouraged him in his taunts. Just like she did to him whenever she wanted him to do something he wasn’t comfortable with, like going through piles and piles of junk, looking for the appropriate parts to put together a flower cart.

„But this cart… is not at all how I imagined it,” Aerith delivered the verdict with such a grave disappointment to her tone it crushed Zack entirely.

„Ar-are you serious? And here I thought you’d be over the moon with it!”

„It’s clear you are a soldier,” she hummed as she kept switching her gaze between the cart and him.

„Ha!” Zack exclaimed, a different air to him. „So finally, after all this time, you believe me.”

„Yes,” Aerith nodded playfully. „Because you're definitely not a craftsman.”

„Aerith…” he cried out and hid his face in the palm of his hands, the sound of the girl’s soft laughter reverberating in his ear.

Zack then took the chance and peeked through his fingers. He noticed the girl walking around the cart, leaning closer, then retreated, taking another step to the side, and resuming her investigation. So despite meeting their project with reticence at first, she was open to accepting it. 

While it might’ve been too soon to say, maybe Aerith simply needed time. To observe, to learn, to understand, and get used to all the new things in her life and eventually embrace them. Zack’s eyes widened as a similar connection formed in his mind. Maybe that had been the case with him that entire time too. He was just slow to make the connections, but the clues had been there from the very start. Clues related to how he perceived himself, to his duty, towards his thoughts about leaving home and ultimately to how he felt towards Cloud.

Zack lifted his gaze, and although having not entirely thought the whole thing through, a sudden urge to speak overwhelmed him. „So then, Aerith, I need to...” 

Zack began to say, and the girl was quick to turn to him. He never intended the long pause, but his heart stumbled once he got distracted by the sound of his phone chiming loudly. He instinctively brought it forth from his pocket and frowned the longer he kept his eyes on its screen. 

„Zack?” Aerith approached cautiously. „Is everything ok?”

„Yeah, of course,” he said with half a mouth, flicking his eyes away, but she was quick to catch them again. 

Aerith took a moment to study him, and once she found the answer in his troubled expression, she turned to the side hastily. She understood what that look on his face meant. She knew that their time together was coming to an end.

„Will I see you again?” Aerith asked, her back still turned to Zack and lifted a hand to her chest.

„You don't need to worry about that,” he offered confidently. „A hero’s job is rarely ever over.”

Aerith giggled and turning to face Zack, nodded her head excitedly.

„I’m slightly relieved you believe me this time around,” Zack said and rubbed the back of his neck with his hand, suddenly feeling incredibly flustered before the girl.

„You’re beginning to stick to your promises. I could get used to that,” Aerith smiled. 

She then lifted her eyes to Zack. He flinched, taken aback by the intense light that was glowing from them. There was something in them that wasn’t there before. Trust, care, shyness, and a lot of admiration. Zack never saw her look at him that way. And yet, he was struck by an inherent familiarity. As though he had seen the same light in somebody else’s eyes before. 

There might’ve been many conflicting topics in Zack’s mind, but in those moments, one thing was for sure. Although he was returning to base to respond to Sephiroth’s call to action, he couldn’t wait to see Cloud again. And considering he wanted to maintain his promise-keeping streak, he looked forward to an intense training session with him. And if he was brave enough, maybe even steal a kiss or two from the blond.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> All aboard the hype train! It's been a long time coming, but it finally happened!!
> 
> Another long chapter, but I hope it was worth the wait.
> 
> Feel free to share your thoughts of the story so far~


	5. Chapter 5

Zack arrived at the Shinra military barracks late in the evening. Impelled by the urgency of the message he had received earlier that day, he headed straight for the briefing room. He knew Sephiroth would be waiting for him.

They exchanged brief greetings, and Sephiroth invited him to take a seat. In his silent relief, Zack celebrated that there hadn’t been any remarks made his way, and because of that, he adopted a somewhat prideful stance. But the victory was short-lived, and Sephiroth promptly scolded him for his tardiness just as he pulled out a chair. 

Clicking his tongue in frustration, Zack threw himself in the chair, somewhere opposite Sephiroth, fully aware that he was at fault. And for a long moment, he thought of himself as a rookie again. However, he was sure Sephiroth’s imposing aura must’ve had something to do with making him feel small. Zack then shook his head, dismissing that sensation, and did his best to center his focus on what Sephiroth had to share with him.

At times throughout their conversation, Zack’s found his attention fleeting as Sephiroth's behavior was stirring his suspicions. No matter how much he struggled to dismiss his inklings, Zack slowly grew sure that something was off about Sephiroth. 

The hero wasn’t harsh in his gestures, nor was he demanding in his tone. And while slightly caught aback by his observations, Zack opted to remain composed and patient, hopeful that he might stumble upon a hint that would indicate towards the reason behind this change. But despite the air around him being radially different than usual, Sephiroth still seemed like an unreadable book. An elusive figure. A shadow caught in between worlds.

„Am I boring you?” Sephiroth asked, an eyebrow raised in Zack’s direction.

Zack repeatedly blinked, his abrupt intervention catching him unprepared. „No, of course not. Sorry, go on. You were saying about the data we collected in Junon.”

„Based on recent developments,” Sephiroth resumed, pretending not to be bothered by the fact that Zack’s mind had been wandering to entirely different matters than what he had been presenting, „we have reasons to believe that Lazard, Hollander, and Genesis might be working together for a yet undetermined common goal.”

„A common goal!?” Zack almost jumped out from his chair and frowned instinctively. „And Lazard is involved too? But that can’t possibly be the case.”

„His disappearance cannot be disregarded any more. We need to assume the worst at his point.”

Zack grunted and leaned back in his chair. Crossing his arms on his chest, he found it hard to accept Sephioth’s theory. Though, Zack shouldn’t be surprised that corruption had tentacles so wide and vicious that could reach even the highest of places and ranks. 

Ever since Genesis deserted, everybody became a target and thus was at risk of falling. Zack had just been ignoring the obvious that entire time. In a way, afraid to acknowledge the implications that might spell for him and Sephiroth, and pretty much everybody else working alongside them.

„There have been reports of unusual disturbances. People disappearing as well as... odd sightings,” Sephiroth allowed and paused as though trying to come to terms with the meaning behind that last item. „These are the locations the reports mention. We have yet to establish a sound reason behind their occurrences.” 

The screen behind Sephiroth, which displayed a map of the surrounding area and cities, flashed with red markers. Zack narrowed his eyes as he investigated it. Based on the map’s configuration, there truly seemed to be no noticeable link between the incidents. But then again, maybe they were looking too closely and got distracted by elements that weren’t there, to begin with. The broader he expanded his horizon, the more obvious the much-coveted design appeared before Zack’s eyes.

„Mako reactors,” he uttered instinctively, and Sephiroth turned to him. „Look, I know there is a Mako reactor there in the west. And in the east as well, near the coastal city. So... would it be far-fetched to assume that whatever is happening inside the reactors is linked in some way with the disturbances?”

„That might be worth looking into,” Sephiroth replied after a long moment. „I will give the order to mobilize some scouting parties.”

Zack nodded, thrilled to see that Sephiroth didn’t shut down his hypothesis without consideration. However, that most likely happened because Sephiroth simply didn’t have any other leads. He appeared to be willing to cling onto anything in hopes of a change of pace from their somewhat stale investigation. 

„Now, that’s more like it!” Zack grinned broadly, his lively aura quick to ignite. „So when am I heading out?”

„You stay put for the time being. I will notify you once I have more information,” Sephiroth instructed and turned to tend to the computer.

While there was no denying that Sephiroth seemed very involved in the task he took upon himself, Zack also wished to be an active part of the investigation. But being denied the opportunity was quick to wound his pride. However, there was a part of him that sought to take this chance and use it to do some investigative research on his own, still eager to find where this different side of Sephiroth would take them. 

„Why are you still here?” Sephiroth glanced in Zack’s direction. „You’re dismissed.”

Zack had to be truthful and admit that he admired that flicker of determination in Sephiroth. And, as such, forced himself to reevaluate his approach. He took a moment to think, and just as he got up from his chair, Zack suddenly became aware of something he hadn’t considered before.

„So it’s gotten that bad, huh?” he said with half a mouth. „That even you are worried.”

„It’s always been bad, Zack,” Sephiroth was quick to narrow his eyes at him. „But back in the day, we were better at handling it.”

„What changed?” he pressed, intrigued to see that he had struck a chord within Sephiroth.

„Look around you. That’s what changed.”

There was an unmistakable terrible truth in Sephiroth’s words. While they were stronger and better prepared, thanks to all the intensive training everybody was getting, there was no denying that Shinra’s military branch was lacking in many areas. Their numbers dwindled. The director’s disappearance added a lot of pressure to their shoulders. Many reports requiring immediate attention kept coming in.

Sephiroth, Zack, and Tseng had been the only ones keeping things in motion. And there was only so much they could do. And only so long they could cover for their absent director.

„Regardless of our available manpower, it’s our duty to get to the bottom of this,” Sephiroth's stern tone recentered Zack’s focus, and he nodded before heading towards the door.

Zack’s sense of duty was steadfast, and as such, resonated with Sephiroth's. However, just as he was about to step outside the briefing room, he opened his mouth to speak once more, a question stirring him ever since Junon.

„The distance you mentioned back then... Why now of all times?”

Hesitating to turn and face Sephiroth, Zack preferred to keep his eyes glued to the door handle. He was slightly uneasy, debating what sort of expression the silver-haired hero might bear on his face. Hatred towards him for having the nerve to address him in such a direct manner. Or perhaps disgust because he was disrespectful, daring to question him and his ways. 

Zack gritted his teeth. He was a First Class SOLDIER, Sephiroth’s equal, and because of that, he knew his doubts were misplaced. He then peered over his shoulder, and instead of a violent storm brewing around Sephiroth, Zack found something else in his eyes—something reminiscent of distress and... sorrow.

„I was taught to do everything in my power to survive,” Sephiroth began in a calm but stern voice, as though forcing himself to speak his mind. „And with every battle I entered, I was made to believe its outcome depended entirely on my performance. So if I were to win, I would get to reap the rewards. But if I were to lose then, the burden would be my own to bare, regardless of who else was involved.”

Sephiroth’s chilling pause sent a shiver down Zack’s back. There was no denying he found a part of himself in his words, his habit of taking the blame for failure all too familiar. Zack knew the burden the silver-haired hero was talking about. He knew its weight and how heavy it could grow if left unchecked. 

„When Angeal and Genesis joined the ranks, I found myself at a standstill. There were a lot of things I was forced to rethink and reevaluate. And while we did bicker, at the end of the day, there was a certain solace in knowing that they accepted me to stay by their side. As for the truth... it was evident in their eyes. Because when they looked at me, they didn’t gaze with fear. They were the first ones... to see me.”

Zack’s heart stuttered as he was struck by a profound sense of deja vu. The words bore an eerie familiarity that he couldn’t dismiss. Zack had heard them before, but they were uttered by somebody else. And they were directed towards him.

„I got used to their presence and then... I was robbed of them,” Sephiroth said between his teeth, although his head was high and his gaze unflinching. „All my life, I was on my own, and yet, I never felt as alone as I do now. I suppose this...” he followed and clenched his empty hand in front of Zack. „This is what solitude is.”

It was easy to get blinded by how astounding Sephiroth was, how faultless his battle skills, and mesmerizing his tall, sturdy silhouette shone even in the faintest light. For a long time, Zack was confident Sephiroth was made of steel, or at least that was the image the SOLDIER wanted everybody to have of him. And because of the proud way he carried himself, it was only natural to mistaken Sephiroth for a legendary hero incarnate. 

Despite that ornate appearance, it seemed that underneath it all, he was still very much made of the same stuff as everybody else. No wonder it became easy to forget that Sephiroth was human. That he was just as vulnerable as those around him. Although he was careful never to even hint at such a reality. As for his way of grieving for the loss of his friends, it seemed it would have him pushing everybody away.

„Understand that I would’ve done anything for them,” Sephiroth steadied his eyes, a violent glow flickering within. „Which is something that will never change. And if abandoning Shinra means they would return to me, I’d make that leap in a heartbeat.”

Sephiroth’s words remained in Zack’s mind for a long time after their meeting. Zack couldn’t believe that the person he had been talking to that evening was indeed Sephiroth and not an impostor. Then again, maybe that was a side of him that he never disclosed to anybody else. Nobody apart from Angeal and Genesis. 

The reason Sephiroth revealed his true self to Zack must've had something to do with the courage he displayed at Junon when he confronted him. Instead of cowering before him like pretty much everybody else, Zack made him recognize that he was no pushover. Through his stubbornness, Zack had piqued Sephiroth’s interest. And while it might’ve been too soon to consider, maybe he truly did begin seeing him in a different light. 

Zack smirked pridefully at the thought. Thinking back at the fact that there used to be a time when he was jealous of Sephiroth helped him put things in perspective even better. Zack acknowledged the moments of hesitation that still existed within him. But instead of seeing them as flaws, he prided himself with his ability to turn his weakness into sources of energy that spurred him on rather than discouraged him. Lulled by the comforts of his progress, he slowly got to discern how much things have genuinely changed.

It wasn’t until Zack was met with the shape of the tall glass windows that his yearnings finally caught up to him. His chest was quick to swell with warmth, and he rushed to the windows before him. Zack then lowered his gaze and began investigating the area outside, wishing that the late hours didn’t come to hinder his chances of stumbling upon the person who he wanted to see. 

Zack’s lips curled when in the distance, he saw the glimmer of a sword swaying its way through the thick veil of night. And wielding it was none other than Cloud, ever relentless in his training. Focusing his gaze, Zack noted that his sword swings had gotten a lot better, efficient, and precise. It quickly became apparent that he wasn’t the only one who throughout that entire time had progressed. 

From the preciseness of his hand gestures to the steady leg movements, Cloud seemed a lot more coordinated and in tune with his body’s capabilities. Comparing his routine with a dance number seemed bizarre as he was holding a weapon, but that was the only thing Zack could think of. 

Unwilling to keep his distance any longer, Zack whipped around. He began running down the corridor, looking to take the elevators down and join the blond in his training.

* * * * *

Zack spent the next days in the inner courtyard or the simulator training, honing his skills alongside Cloud. Before everybody else, they were SOLDIER and rookie, master and apprentice, working hard, practicing even harder, doing everything they could to ensure that they became the best versions of themselves. Steadfast and focused, they trusted nothing could come in between them and the goals they set out for themselves.

It was second nature for such devoted fighters to give it their all during their training. Soon enough, because of their inherent combat skills and excellent teamwork reflexes, Zack and Cloud became an inspiration to those around them. And although they noticed that they worked well together ever since Modeohiem, Junon only came to confirm their suspicions, much their quelled pride.

However, at times, keeping up with those appearances proved to be complicated. And suppressing their hearts was even more arduous. There were too many tender glances thrown between them. Smiles that lingered a bit too long. Hands that touched rather softly when they were meant only to encourage or push each other forward into action. The air between and around them had indeed changed, and they became unable to ignore it any longer. 

Deep down, Zack cherished the change. He found it to be a steady source of energy and even more so than that, happiness. It made him look forward to the end of the day. To the time he would spend in Cloud’s company, alone and unhindered.

„Have you been waiting for long?” Cloud asked, panting as he appeared at their usual spot from behind the corner.

„No... not at all,” the reply came cheerfully off Zack’s lips as soon as he met the blond’s eyes.

Zack had been sitting by the benches for more than an hour that evening. But he didn’t particularly mind. As long as he got to see Cloud, he would’ve gladly waited the whole night if prompted. 

„Dinner ran late, and then the showers were busy,” Cloud followed and adjusted the white towel around his shoulders, droplets of water still glistening at the tips of his blond hair.

„The perks of sharing your stuff with hundreds of others, huh?” Zack snickered. „Well, it doesn’t matter. You are here now.” 

Cloud gasped softly when faced with Zack’s broad smile, and although sure he would be able to handle it, he soon blushed. It wasn’t the first time they met like that, but Cloud still had moments of hesitation. Especially when Zack’s unmatchable liveliness and cheerful attitude were aimed only towards him.

„Come and have a seat then, why don’t you?” Zack offered pleasantly and patted the spot on the bench beside him.

Even from a distance, Zack could feel how nervous Cloud was. He was following the blond’s every move, and excitement started pulsating in his veins when Cloud began approaching him. He found their predicament incredibly endearing because, despite his nerves, Cloud still wanted to be beside him. And with stiff and clumsy gestures, he finally sat down on the bench. 

Amused by the sight, Zack huffed out a laugh. He instinctively patted Cloud on the back, making sure to congratulate him on a job well done. Cloud shook his head, Zack’s gesture only coming to intimidate him even more. But Zack knew he was smiling. He could feel his joy. And wishing to become a witness to that, Zack reached out with the tips of his fingers towards Cloud’s chin and gently began redirecting his face towards him. 

„Hey, by the way,” Zack whispered with a smile and slowly slid his other arm around Cloud’s shoulders.

„Hey,” Cloud repeated against Zack’s lips and closed his eyes as Zack kept pulling him closer.

Zack grinned happily, noting that although hesitant, there was no hiding Cloud’s desire to kiss him. And he didn’t blame him, because Zack felt the same. With the image of a flustered Cloud etched in his mind, Zack closed his eyes and dedicated himself entirely to their kiss. 

Whenever he saw Cloud so unguarded, Zack’s rationality was quick to falter. Although driven by his fiery desire, a part of him still wavered when it came to the way he kissed and touched Cloud. Zack might’ve been the one who initiated their intimacy, but most of the time, he entrusted Cloud to direct the way of their kisses. However, that night, there was something about Cloud that stirred Zack. Somehow, he seemed warmer than usual, cuter than he had ever been, and smelled delightful.

Zack wrapped his arm tighter around the blond, and gathering him to his chest, he began commanding the intensity of their kisses. Unable to keep himself from tasting him, Zack reached out with his tongue and licked at the bottom of his lip. It danced there for a brief moment until Cloud succumbed to the desire to open his mouth and greet it. Their tongues violently slid against each other, and their breathing turned laborious, as though the air around them wasn’t enough. But Zack didn’t see that as a reason to slow down. Driven by the boiling heat inside, Zack pressed and deepened his kiss. And as he carefully made his way inside Cloud’s mouth, he was greeted by incredible warmth and sweetness. 

As though curious to check on the blond at his chest, Zack carefully opened his eyes. A gasp almost escaped him when he was struck by the image of the intimidatingly beautiful man before him. The redness of his cheeks in contract with the paleness of his face made it seem like he was in a trance, utterly enthralled by the way Zack was kissing him. 

Thus, Zack became eager to discover more about the blond. He slowly moved his hand from under his chin and inched it towards Cloud’s ear. Cloud twitched at the sudden contact, and Zack realized that he had found a weak spot. Excited by the thought, he allowed his fingers to sway around Cloud’s ear, mesmerized by its warmth and incredible softness. 

Just as his mouth diligently worked against Cloud’s lips, Zack was struck by another brazen thought. While his desire fueled his zeal, Zack felt compelled to continue charting his way through unexplored territory. His left arm from around Cloud’s shoulders soon twitched in response, ready to clutch at the blond’s back. 

„Oh,” Zack gasped and broke their kiss abruptly. „You weren’t kidding before.”

Cloud pried his eyes open. Still dizzy from their heated kiss, he needed a moment to make sense of Zack’s words. But even after taking a deep breath, he still had no idea what Zack was talking about.

„Your hair is still wet,” Zack finally clarified and retreated his hand, noting that the sleeve of his black sweater was drenched from the water that dripped off the blond’s hair.

„Ah, I suppose it still is,” Cloud barely muttered and instinctively moved his fingers through his hair. „I didn’t have a chance to dry it out properly.”

Zack retreated slightly from him but not before pulling the towel from over his shoulders. „Well, then let me do it for you.”

„Wh-what?” Cloud stuttered as his eyes grew. „No, Zack, you don’t have to...”

„Yeah, come on, turn around. I’ll dry your hair for you,” Zack instructed and, with his unflinching gaze, urged the blond to comply.

Even after recognizing that they weren’t on the training grounds, for whatever reason, Cloud still felt compelled to execute the command. Zack chuckled when he saw the confused expression on Cloud’s face just as he pushed himself around on the bench. 

Then again, as he was sitting behind Cloud, Zack eventually came to terms with his nervousness. And for a long moment, he was caught gazing at the shape of Cloud’s back, the relaxed slope of his shoulders, the gentle arch of the small of his back, the tantalizing form of his muscles in the faint light of the corridor as they escaped the hem of his shirt’s loose sleeve. 

Zack swallowed heavily as his desire from before reignited. In those moments, there was nothing more he wanted than to touch and kiss every part of Cloud’s body that so innocently present itself before him. However, that was not what he said he would do. And Zack treasured Cloud too much to force himself upon him. And so, after pushing himself beyond his immediate desires, Zack began unfolding the white towel in his hands.

„Tell me if it’s too rough,” he offered as he inched the towel towards Cloud’s beautiful blond hair. „I’ve never done this to anybody else before.”

They fell into natural silence as Zack began to gently massage Cloud’s head, making sure that he did an excellent job at drying his hair. He had always been drawn to Cloud’s hair, and as time passed, he became fascinated with the thought of touching it. And now that he had finally been given the opportunity, he got to delight in its pleasant softness, bright tone, and distinct scent. It suited the blond so much, Zack pondered as he came to realize that he had discovered yet another thing he liked about Cloud. But then again, he adored everything about him.

„There you go!” Zack announced and removed the towel from his head. „Is it fine now?”

„Yeah,” Cloud nodded and lifted his fingers to the back of his neck, tugging gently at the rebel hair to inspect Zack’s work. „Thank you, you are good at this. And you were... really gentle.”

„Well, that’s great to hear. I was worried there for a second,” Zack chuckled, taken aback by Cloud’s praise. „I don’t know what it is about you, but you always seem to find a way to make my heart race.” 

„Ah, I see,” he murmured and lowered his head slightly. „Maybe I should apologize then.” 

„What?” Zack exhaled with surprise. 

Zack couldn’t see Cloud’s face. The blond chose to stay with his back towards him that entire time. And because he gave no signs of wanting to face him, his gesture only came to confuse Zack further. 

„I never meant to become a distraction for you.”

Cloud was incredibly perceptive, and the fact that he caught onto some of Zack’s worries shouldn’t have come as a surprise at all. 

There was a part of Zack that hoped that Cloud wouldn’t be so affected by his moments of hesitation. But it wasn’t like they got to talk about what happened at Junon. And Zack never shared his worries with him, either. So in that regard, there had always been an unnerving tension between them. 

Choosing to fight his nerves, Zack reached out with his hand towards the blond. He wanted to pull him forward and check his eyes in the hopes of finding a way to comfort him.

„Cloud, I didn’t mean it like that.”

„Listen, I’ve never done this before,” he allowed in one breath, and Zack froze with his hand in the air just as it was about to meet Cloud’s shoulder. 

Zack retracted his hand as he felt the blood in his veins cooling. Maybe the reason Cloud chose to keep his back towards him was that he was too embarrassed to face him. Or rather feared that Zack might perceive him as weak or dull because of his inexperience. 

„And I... there are a lot of things I don’t know.”

Through stuttered words and stiff body language, Cloud made it clear that he was forcing himself to bring his troubles across. Feeding off his resolve, however, Zack decided to follow in his tracks. He felt he owed Cloud that much.

„It’s the same with me.”

Zack then pushed himself closer to Cloud. Lowering his head, he planted his forehead on Cloud’s back, at the base of his neck. 

„And aren’t you afraid?” Cloud asked, and Zack felt each word reverberating in his back.

„All the time.”

Cloud gasped softly. „Honestly? All the time?”

„Why is that so hard to believe?”

„Because you are a SOLDIER, a hero... you are strong and kind. By far, the best guy around here.”

„Stop it with the flattery,” Zack chuckled and shook his forehead into Cloud’s back. „It won’t get you anywhere with me, you know.”

„I’m serious, Zack.”

„Well, the truth is,” he frowned, as though suppressing the torment that came with his words, „even if I am all those things, that doesn’t mean that... I’m spared from the fear.”

Still reticent at the idea there was anything that could deter Zack, Cloud then asked tersely. „What could you possibly fear?” 

„Losing you.”

The answer came so quickly, Cloud needed a moment to process it. And after coming to terms with it, he flinched, and Zack sensed his desire to turn towards him. He was, however, faster and stopped Cloud before he could do anything. Zack then reached out with his arms and looped them around Cloud’s slender body, embracing him from behind. 

„You have no idea how terrified I was when I heard that we had casualties during that drill mission turned awry,” he said and clutched at the blond’s shirt, wishing to feel him as close as possible. „And that day in Junon... I would’ve never forgiven myself if something would’ve happened to you.”

„I’m sorry...,” Cloud barely said, stunned by the sudden and unexpected confession. „Truly... I...”

„I don’t want you to apologize. Because this is the risk of this job, and we both knew it from the start,” Zack spoke, every word stiff with imposed composure. „You see, I still have nightmares about Angeal... and the only thing that stays with me after I wake up is this excruciating fear,” he followed, and forced a smile, as though to shield himself against that horrible reality he described. „I use that as motivation for training. Because I want to become braver. Stronger. Anything to ensure that I will be able to fulfill my duties successfully so that at the end of the day, I can come back here and... meet you again.”

His words were still in the air around them when Cloud grabbed his arm. He gripped it tightly and pushed it to the side. After he untangled himself from Zack’s hold, Cloud finally turned to him. 

„Zack,” Cloud called out, but he was reluctant to reply. 

Zack’s head was still low. And he kept it that way even after feeling Cloud’s gaze on him. He felt overwhelmed that he had said too much. That he had been so sincere. It was clear that it took a toll on him, and now, Zack didn’t want Cloud to see him in that excruciating vulnerable position.

„Whatever you do, don’t give up.”

Zack gasped and finally lifted his eyes as though desperate to look for reassurance. And he should’ve known that he didn’t need to look further than the blond’s reach. 

„That’s what you said to me back then, remember?” Cloud followed, and his lips curled faintly. „It seems it’s my time to tell you the same thing.”

„Maybe I should be stingier with my words,” Zack huffed and brought his hand to Cloud’s face. „You are getting good at using them against me.”

Cloud nestled in his touch and then brought his arm upward. He steadily grabbed hold of Zack’s hand, in a way, ensuring that he wouldn’t take it away. 

„It’s because... you always know what to say to encourage me.”

Zack chuckled nervously. „That means a lot coming from you.”

„I guess it’s ok to be afraid, but don’t make it seem like you are alone in all of this,” Cloud said and squeezed tighter onto Zack’s hand. „I’m here too,” he finally smiled and allowed his gaze to linger deeper into Zack’s eyes. „And I can help carry any burden. So don’t be afraid to depend on me if you ever need to. Deal?”

Hearing Cloud talk with such conviction made Zack’s skin prickle. Zack was astounded to find his courage reignited, but then again, it must’ve had something to do with Cloud’s graceful and composed way of speaking. If only Cloud knew that his words brought him just as much comfort. 

„Deal,” Zack exhaled, once more having to admit defeat before the blond’s tenacity.

And yet, that had to be the sweetest defeat Zack ever experienced. He didn’t feel like he lost anything. On the contrary, he probably came out of the exchange with a lot more than he went in the first place. And the fact that the blond was still in front of his eyes, as dazzling and braver than ever, was proof of that. 

And in coming to terms with his gratitude, Zack wanted nothing more than to show his appreciation. Brushing his thumb against the warmth of Cloud’s cheek, Zack then leaned towards him, a sudden hunger to kiss him dearly looming ever nearer.

* * * * *

With each day that passed, small groups of patrols were sent to investigate various Mako reactors. Although Tseng wanted to help Sephiroth in his mission, he was unable to spare any of the Turks. However, he was quick to offer his assistance when conducting any bureaucratic matter.

Throughout their joint efforts, they always made sure to keep Zack informed of their progress. Zack appreciated their gesture more than he ever said out loud. He didn’t want to encourage their overbearing egos, even though he liked to see that he was considered a valued member of their team. 

Almost every other morning, Zack would be called in to partake in their meetings. And while some days yielded promising leads, others proved a lot more frustrating, especially when the troops returned empty-handed or ran late with their reporting duties. 

Sephiroth’s patience was running thin. And Zack could see that in all the little gestures that he would dismiss in any other situation. The way Sephiroth paced around the room, how rapidly he would reach for his belt as though for his sword when frustrated. Not to mention, the glow in his eyes had changed as well. It was no longer cold, but not aflame either. Instead, it was hungering to be ignited. And after recognizing that, Zack began harboring a hunch that Sephiroth wouldn’t be able to stay put much longer. 

The confirmation to Zack’s suspicions came early the next morning when Sephiroth informed him that he would be heading out as well. Although just as eager to follow him and experience the thrill of the battlefield, Zack understood that his duties would have him bound to base. And he accepted that without protest, fully aware of how essential it was to have somebody stationed there in case any emergencies should arise. 

„So what’s going to happen when Sephiroth returns?” Kunsel, one of the Second Class SOLDIERs, approached Zack as he was heading to the simulator that morning to train.

„He is still looking to gather more information before making a decision. There’s a lot on his shoulders,” Zack said, still trying to come to terms with Sephiroth’s diligence. „I was a bit surprised to see how good he is at this.”

„Yeah, tell me about it—Sephiroth as a leader. You don’t see that every day,” Kunsel allowed, his tone rather curt. 

„He’s perseverant. Meticulous. Who knew that after so much time, he and I would finally find some common ground. And it seems that just like me, he is done losing people.”

„Aren’t we all,” Kunsel agreed in a low voice. „Just goes to show anybody can change if that’s something they want.”

„Right,” Zack smiled slightly, his gaze flicking to Kunsel and then ahead again. „But we’ll probably head out though. I mean sitting here at base won’t fix any of the world’s problems that’s for sure.”

Kunsel nodded and walked beside Zack for a while. It wasn’t until they headed down a more secluded corridor that he threw Zack a glance and began speaking again.

„If you are to head out, then don’t you think you should be more considerate?”

„Considerate?” Zack frowned Kunsel’s intervention as abrupt as it felt like it hinted towards something incredibly personal. „Towards who?”

„Your lover, of course.”

„What are you...” Zack swallowed nervously and turned to look at him. „Kunsel, who told you about that?”

„I’m sorry, I know it’s not my place to speak, but I saw you,” Kunsel admitted nonchalantly, despite seeing Zack grow increasingly nervous.

Zack never thought about having to explain what he did in his free time to anybody else. He didn’t even consider that somebody might stumble upon him and Cloud during their time together. And while he didn’t particularly mind, he had no idea what Cloud’s feelings would be towards the whole thing.

Whenever he was together with Cloud, he felt that whatever they were living was confined to the small bubble of time and space of their choosing. And because of the comfort that they found in each other’s embrace, it proved easy to forget that the real world was a lot bigger than the one they built around themselves.

„Kunsel, listen, whatever it is that you saw, it’s fine. There isn’t any shame in it or anything, so...” Zack blurted, but more to calm himself down than to reply to Kunsel.

„Shame?” Kunsel repeated, somewhat perplexed. „Why? Because you didn’t tell anybody that you were heading out?”

„Huh?” Zack stopped and frowned, looking even more confused than his peer. „Ok, Kunsel... I’m a bit lost. What are you talking about?”

„I’m talking about that morning, when you left base,” Kunsel halted his step as well and allowed, faintly annoyed. „I was on patrol duty, and I saw you. I wanted to come to greet you, but you seemed so... how should I say?"

Kunsel took a moment to think, but unable to find the right words, he shrugged and pressed on. 

"Well, nevertheless, it was clear even from afar that whoever you were thinking about, it was somebody you liked. And I couldn’t bring myself to ruin your moment,” he snickered, remembering Zack’s incredibly over the top expression. „I wasn’t notified that there would be people leaving the base that morning, so it was clear that you didn’t want anyone else to know you were going to see your lover. My guess is that it’s somebody in Midgar,” Kunsel smirked and lifted his gaze proudly to Zack. „I bet you must be so relieved that you don’t have to hide anymore now.” 

„Kunsel...” Zack exhaled sharply, trying to impose himself in front of him. „You know, it’s no wonder you are a soldier in the army.”

„Oh? And why do you say that?”

„Because your detective skills are the worst!” Zack laughed, recognizing that he just pulled a trick similar to what Aerith used to do to him to mock his lack of experience.

Zack then took that moment to steady his legs underneath him. He was so anxious a moment ago when he thought that Kunsel had indeed found out about him and Cloud that he was having a hard time settling his heart. But maybe it was better this way. Just like in Aerith’s case, the fewer people that knew about his connections with the girl and the blond, the better. That way, they steered clear from any unwanted attention that might’ve been aimed in their direction. 

„Ah, some friend you are, Zack. Not wanting to share anything with me. But whatever, keep your secrets,” Kunsel shrugged and turned to resume his way to the simulators. „Regardless, you should take advantage of the time you have before you get sent out again. If it were me, I’d use every minute of my free time with my lover,” he said that last part in a low voice, his words coated with slight underlining of jealousy.

Zack snickered towards his friend, his care unexpected but appreciated nonetheless. He then lifted his head just as they were about to reach the simulator. Zack couldn’t oppose his desire to smile when he met the shape of a familiar silhouette leaning with his back on the wall, patiently waiting for them to show up.

As though able to feel the intensity of his gaze, Cloud lifted his head. He felt his heart stuttering when he was struck by the warmth in Zack’s eyes. Unknowingly, they were caught staring at each other for a long moment. And they would’ve stayed like that for a while longer were it not for Kunsel’s eagerness for action.

„Well, then, let’s do this already,” Kunsel urged and nudged Zack forward, certain that he was stalling. „No more slacking, you hear?”

„Hey, who are you calling a slacker?” Zack rebuked and taking advantage of Kunsel’s distraction with the computer screen, he winked at Cloud.

An endearing smile formed at the corners of his lips, and Cloud forced his eyes away, knowing that Zack’s playfulness was a dangerous thing to be encouraged.

* * * * *

„So, let me guess... Big family?”

Despite Zack’s best attempts to be inconspicuous towards his intentions that evening, Cloud quickly figured that he was up to no good. It must’ve had something to do with the persistent way Zack had been looking at him, not to mention the questions that he kept directing his way. 

„I mean,” Zack reconsidered and leaned back against the wall. „You don’t have to tell me if you feel uncomfortable.”

It wasn’t that he didn’t want to talk to Zack, but more like, the topics he chose that time around were incredibly personal. The type of which Cloud had a hard time coming to terms with before discussing out loud. Growing up in the countryside, the things he liked about the summer sky and disliked about the city, favorite dish. And now, his family.

„Ah, I don’t mind,” Cloud replied in a low voice and turned to check on Zack, although he was sure that might’ve not been a good idea. „It’s just that...”

As soon as he turned, Cloud was stunned by Zack’s smile. Cloud had a hard time figuring out where did Zack’s power over him stemmed from. It was somewhat unnerving because it wasn’t like he had to put a lot of effort in his gestures. A glance, a smile, a huff, and his heart would react in the most bizarre of ways. Zack wasn’t the only one whose heart was racing whenever they were together. Cloud was the same, although his inhibitions were making him seem somewhat aloof.

In a way, he had always been waiting for Zack to initiate something between them. Much to his dismay, Cloud knew he could’ve never brought himself to do any of that stuff. He might’ve shared in Zack’s courage while on the battlefield, but there, together with him, that was a whole different matter.

Although Cloud’s words got lost before he could get them out, Zack was quick to sense a tempting willingness within the blond. He reached for his arm and pulled him towards him, greedily and tenderly at the same time.

Cloud gasped as he felt Zack drawing him closer and closer until, in the end, he found himself resting against his chest. Not only was that a weird position to be in but if he ignored the racket that his heart was causing inside his chest, he swore that he could almost... hear Zack’s heartbeat. Cloud swallowed heavily as heat began to rush to his cheeks.

„I want to know more about you, that’s all,” Zack allowed as he wrapped his arms around Cloud. „And you’re free to tell me whatever you want. At your own pace.” 

While the blond found it difficult to relax while lying on his chest, Zack was quick to comfort him. He recognized that his gesture might’ve caught Cloud off guard, but then again, Zack had been looking forward to his time with him more and more each evening. Not to mention, he had been curious to see how it felt to have him resting against him for some time now.

While Cloud might’ve still been reticent at the thought, Zack couldn't help himself but be tempted to touch him every time he saw him. Thinking that through his affectionate gestures, he would be able to bind himself to Cloud for a little while longer.

„You’re really warm,” Cloud then allowed and exhaled some of his nerves.

Feeling the blond had finally relaxed at his chest, Zack took it as a sign that he was permitted to allow his thoughts to linger and his hands to explore. Zack then hummed pleasantly as he lifted his left arm and carefully began tracing the tips of his fingers along the surface of Cloud’s skin, advancing upward on his toned arm, brushing the lines of his neck and his jawline. Cloud’s skin prickled at the foreign yet delightful sensation, and Zack felt compelled to press on with his exploration.

Cloud clenched his fist once Zack’s hand met his ear. It was warm and soothing at the touch, just like the rest of him. Zack then went ahead and planted a kiss on the top of Cloud’s head, the blond’s reactions all too innocent and just as endearing. Smitten by the way his fair hair flowed softly against his touch, Zack slowly began running his fingers through Cloud’s hair. 

„But to tell you the truth... It’s just me and my mom,” Cloud finally said, taking shallow breaths in between sentences.

The answer somehow didn’t surprise Zack. He recognized Cloud was familiar with the grueling ache that grief instills. Cloud must’ve felt it too with his father. He wouldn’t have talked with such certainty when he spoke to him about loss otherwise.

Zack stirred, as his selfishness prodded his heart for never asking more him about it. But he decided he was going to take it slow and allow Cloud to open up to him about the details of his life. And he would be patient and wait and welcome every little thing Cloud offered him. 

„I see,” Zack allowed softly. „So, you're also an only child.” 

Cloud nodded and nudged his head a little bit more towards Zack’s hand, not wanting to miss any of the warmth it provided. While Cloud still had days in which he was shy, that wasn’t one of them. Although uncertain what changed, Zack was thrilled by it. And, in turn, encouraged its manifestation when he sank his cheek in Cloud’s hair, nuzzling in its rousing scent.

„Must’ve been pretty lonely, huh?”

Cloud opened his mouth to reply, but after a second thought, he closed it again. Instead of words, he replied with a brisk nod that most wouldn’t even catch. But Zack instantly felt it. 

They lapse into silence once their minds began wandering a bit too deeply and thoroughly. But no matter how wrapped up with their thoughts, neither felt any sort of pressure or rush from the other. And because of that, they allowed themselves to gaze outside the glass windows, taking their time to settle the rhythm of their hearts, enthralled by the warmth of their bodies, and the comfort of each other’s presence. It was because of moments like those that Zack allowed himself to believe that he didn’t need anything or anybody else when he had Cloud beside him.

„Maybe that’s why I made it my goal to leave home,” Cloud began saying, and Zack tilted his head towards him so that he could see him better. „Ever since I was little... I told everybody I would become a great SOLDIER. Looking back at it, I can’t even imagine what my mother must’ve been thinking about when she heard me speaking like that.”

„The dreams of a child will be nothing more than just that?” Zack added, careful as his intention wasn’t to tease.

After Zack stopped moving his hand through Cloud’s hair, he lowered it and pressed it against his shoulder. Cloud then reached for it and clutched it tightly. Drawn by the intensity of the gesture, Zack’s eyes darted to the union of their hands, as Cloud daringly entwined his fingers with his.

„Something like that. I suppose a part of her didn’t want to believe I would ever do such a thing,” Cloud offered softly and brought his head up toward Zack. „Because that would mean I would also abandon my home.”

„Do you regret it?” Zack asked and helped Cloud up from his chest.

They both stood upright, and Zack forced himself to stay put and wait for Cloud’s reply, although his curiosity was relentlessly pulsating from within. Cloud tilted his head to him after a long moment, and Zack’s heart lifted when their gazes met. While it was a welcomed surprise, he should’ve known he could’ve never prepared himself to be greeted by the sight of a smiling Cloud.

„No,” Cloud offered and turned his body towards Zack. „Not at all.”

He pushed himself forward, and before Zack could say anything, Cloud was already at his lips. Everything happened so fast that Zack never even got a chance to close his eyes. He smiled against Cloud’s lips, absolutely enthralled with that daring version of Cloud. And wanting to feel him close once more, Zack wrapped his arms against his waist. Nearly just as quickly, Cloud placed his arms against Zack’s neck, his lips firm against Zack’s. His kisses poured one after the other, as though through them, Cloud was trying to compensate for something yet undefined that he had been yearning for quite some time. 

There was something about Cloud that Zack couldn’t get enough of, and that night, he allowed himself to further their shared passion. He held onto his body with one hand while the other began moving on his back, finally getting to explore that much-covered area. Zack had to keep himself from gasping because every time his fingers advanced, he was met with a new sensation. He could feel every curve of his muscles, the way they stretched and tightened, and with each detail, Zack’s curiosity intensified. At one point, even daring to consider what his skin felt like underneath the loose sweater he was wearing. 

Even if Cloud was so close to him and their bodies were pressed against each other, Zack still wasn’t satisfied. There was little he could do to restrain himself because, in a way, he didn’t want to anymore. The sweetness of Cloud's aroma was driving him mad, and his warmth was igniting his temptation to the point of no return. 

Cloud sensed Zack’s insistence but wasn’t intimidated by it. He was caught in the same mindset as Zack and spurred by the desire boiling within his stomach, he nudged his head to the side. Zack chased after his lips for a second, still eager to taste them, but after a coming to terms with Cloud’s intention, he understood that Cloud wasn’t running away from him. He was redirecting him. 

Zack blinked at the sight and still driven by passion, he began pressing his lips along Cloud’s jawline, meticulously making his way further down until he met the lines of his neck. Nibbling at the hot flesh, Zack opened his mouth, enticed to taste it, and check if it was as sweet as his mouth. Lost somewhere amid that exciting venture and dazed by Zack’s persistence, a throaty groan escaped Cloud, the likes neither had ever heard before.

„Are you ok?” Zack panted as he lifted himself to Cloud’s eyes.

Cloud jolted backward away from Zack and brought both his hands to his mouth. Through reddening cheeks, his shock became just as visible as his embarrassment. 

„Ye-yeah. You just took me by surprise, that’s all,” his words quivered as they flitted off his lips. 

Judging by Cloud’s flustered expression, Zack was caught wondering what Cloud’s next move was going to be. There was an inkling nudging him to stand up and leave, and Zack caught that almost immediately. He could feel the blond was uncomfortable and still ashamed because he allowed himself to be so caught up in Zack’s daring feats. 

The air between them turned tense. At that point, the last thing Zack wanted was for Cloud to disappear. And to assure that wouldn’t happen, he brought his hand and intertwined his fingers with Cloud’s. The blond gasped and redirected his gaze at their point of contact as though unable to understand the intention behind the gesture. 

„Don’t be embarrassed,” Zack huffed and, with two fingers against his warm cheek, brought his blue eyes back to meet his. 

His eyes flickered with the temptation to keep glancing into Zack’s comforting gaze, but after a long moment, Cloud scrunched his lips together and lowered his head. Although Zack’s desire to distract him had only good intentions behind it, Cloud appeared unwilling to be swayed by it. 

„Maybe we shouldn’t meet like this anymore.” 

„Ah... Cloud,” Zack interjected, and fought himself for a moment, the blond’s decision seemingly rather harsh and abrupt. „Why not?” he pouted, unable to oppose the sinking feeling in his chest.

„Somebody might see us,” Cloud murmured and bit his lip. „Or hear us.”

Zack released a shallow gasp and then groaned indecisively. Despite his stubbornness, Zack had to admit that Cloud had a point. They had been incredibly fortunate that the spot located at the top floor of the military barracks was in an area that wasn’t traversed during the night. But then again, just as he was caught when he left that day for Midgar, somebody might at any point stumble upon them as well. And while that wasn’t necessarily a problem in the beginning when they only met to talk, now that their conversations always led to something more they couldn’t risk it anymore. 

But Zack was willing to be creative when it came to their situation, and as such, it didn’t take him long before he began flirting with a new idea. Reaching out swiftly, Zack steadied his arm against Cloud’s waist. He then brought himself closer and moving his mouth to his ear, he parted his lips and whispered daringly. 

„Then come to my room.”

Zack felt Cloud flinch beside him. Zack was just beginning to make sense of what he had said, and specifically, its implications. The fact that Cloud was taking his time before answering was making him aware that his suggestion might’ve sounded a bit too much. Too greedy and selfish. Zack bit his lip and was about to retract the offer when he heard the blond speaking.

„Your room?”

„I don’t share my quarters with anybody else,” Zack replied on impulse, the anticipation now making him outright anxious. „Nobody will bother us there.”

Cloud blushed and turned his eyes to the side, as though to hide from Zack. But he was persistent and titled his head after him, curious as to his reply. 

„Don’t be embarrassed,” Zack repeated and then began pressing gentle kisses from the corner of his mouth and up to his ear, the sound of his lips against his skin sending shivers down Cloud’s spine.

„I-I’m not... It’s just that it’s getting late, and I should...”

„You don’t want to come now?” Zack whispered in his ear between his kisses, and Cloud’s body was quick to shiver in response to his hot breath.

„Some other time,” Cloud said and jumped up on his feet, in a way, all too aware that the longer he remained next to Zack, the harder it would be for him to leave.

Despite his willingness to put some distance between them, Cloud was unable to move. He then turned his head and noticed that Zack was still clinging onto his hand.

„Just so you know, next time I might not be willing to let go of you so easily,” he chuckled jokingly, but Cloud was reluctant to react in any way to his words.

Sensing his pressing desire to leave, Zack forced himself to release his hand, and Cloud rushed his step away without saying anything else. Zack followed him with his eyes, and no matter how much he tried, he couldn’t prevent his chest from tightening. He swallowed as his nerves surfaced from the depths of his heart. Despite his initial courage, Cloud disappeared so quickly that time around, Zack couldn’t help but wonder if, in his greed and blind passion, he might’ve overstepped. 

Zack exhaled sharply and lowered his eyes at his now empty hand. He stared at it for a long moment, fascinated to observe how quickly it grew cold without Cloud’s caress. Still reluctant to leave from the spot before the tall glass windows, Zack squeezed his hand shut.

„This is what solitude is, huh?” he murmured and leaned back on the wall behind him as Sephiroth’s words reverberated in his mind, their weight now a lot more evident.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Because I might've SLIGHTLY got carried away with the story, I had to cut this chapter into two. So what you have here is actually just part 1 of a much bigger picture (within an even bigger picture??). 
> 
> Hope you will enjoy none the less~
> 
> Also, you can find me on [Tumblr](https://nightyelfy.tumblr.com/) if you want to stop by and say hi or follow me for future updates and projects!


	6. Chapter 6

Zack could barely get any sleep that night. His conscience proved itself a worthy adversary for both his patience and wits, especially when it kept replaying the same things over and over in his mind. The sight of the beautifully defenseless Cloud, the pliant way he allowed Zack to kiss him and then... as though a savage strike at his excitement, the image of Cloud standing up and leaving him without uttering a single word. 

All too aware of his habit of allowing his emotions to overtake him, Zack groaned at his clumsiness. Despite Cloud having shown his reservation because of his inexperience, Zack prided himself in thinking that although not far behind Cloud, he would be able to bring them to a point in which neither would feel uncomfortable or embarrassed. And yet, there he was all alone in his room with a twinge so acute in his chest, he debated whether or not to go to the infirmary and have it checked out.

But the ache only appeared whenever he thought of Cloud being disappointed in him. Or rejecting him from that point onward. 

Zack stood up from his bed and sat on its edge with his head in his hands. He pressed his palms against his eyes until he saw sparks. Once a rush of sorrow coursed through him, he had to admit to himself that he was entirely at fault for the way the miserable turn their intimate exchange took. Because he rushed when he pushed Cloud into a corner by inviting him to his room. And then more or less came off as overbearing when forcing his desire on the blond.

And at the same time, Zack understood it was up to him to mend the situation. To do that, he had to come clean about the nature of his feelings towards Cloud. Thinking back at it, he couldn’t blame Cloud for his hesitation. Or for disappearing the way he did. Zack would’ve most likely had second thoughts too when walking over unstable terrain.

While Zack appreciated all his time alone to gather his thoughts, he was mindful that he couldn’t fix his predicament from the confinements of his room. There was no denying that he wanted to go and talk to Cloud. From his view, their discussions couldn't bear any other delay. And taking in a deep breath, Zack jumped out of bed.

He began going over the plan in his head as he was approaching the door. Regardless that it was the middle of the night or that his presence in the rookie quarters might arouse suspicion, he knew he had to do this. He knew he needed to act. He just had to find Cloud. And then he would excuse himself saying that... 

Huh. Were excuses really what Zack wanted to convey to Cloud? There must’ve been more than apologies yearning to get out from inside his heart. If only he were brave enough, he would open up before Cloud and express his feelings for him. Tell him about the comfort, the happiness, the pure bliss that he felt whenever in his presence. And hope with all his might that his feelings were if only a tiny bit required. But even if they weren’t, Zack wouldn’t be mad or angry or even slightly disappointed. He would be joyful that he got to share that with Cloud, if just for a moment. And... 

And yet Cloud refused him. 

The reason they met each other in the first place was that they both wanted to become part of the military. Cloud’s dream had been to become a SOLDIER, he said so himself last time they talked. What if, by intervening so forcefully into his life, Zack’s demands prevented him from achieving that goal? Just as how Zack was having a hard time settling his thoughts and coming to terms with his feelings, maybe Cloud was going through the same thing. 

Deep down, Zack had feared that by explaining their gestures, it would hinder whatever it was they were feeling for each other. Whether it was curiosity or temptation, it didn’t matter; because he found solace in Cloud’s presence. And daringly, Zack wanted to believe that up to a point, Cloud felt the same.

Maybe talking to Cloud right then wasn’t such a good idea after all. Zack had to be patient and restrain himself if he wanted to give Cloud a chance to make peace with his wants, whether emotional or professional.

Zack shook his head at his clumsiness, thinking to himself that even in the heat of battle, things seem a lot clearer than in his current scenario. While it might’ve seemed that he was making too much of a big deal out of it, then again, his conflict revolved around Cloud. And he wasn’t just anybody in his eyes.

Zack had been harboring feelings for Cloud for such an extended amount of time it wasn’t a surprise for him anymore that whenever he encouraged them, they erupted with such a force they might’ve intimidated the blond. Being next to Cloud had given his life a brand new sense of meaning, and he wanted to treasure that with everything he had. Up to a point, he wished for nothing more than to hold onto that feeling and nurture their connection for as long as possible. 

Turning his back on the door of his bedroom, Zack took a deep breath to gather his sense. And for the first time since he became aware of his budding feelings from Cloud, Zack was almost convinced that... he had a crush.

* * * * *

The next morning came a bit too fast. Still drowsy from the sleepless night, Zack used the time it took him to get from his room and to the central courtyard not only to wake himself up but do his best to disguise his unsteady spirit. Another training day alongside the troops would undoubtedly do him some good. If nothing else, it would help him refocus his senses and... allow him some time alongside Cloud. 

Still feeling somewhat guilty at the thought of wanting to be near Cloud after their awkward exchange from the other day, he wasn’t one to smother his passion at the slightest sign of deterrence. Nevertheless, Zack promised himself he would be more patient, and he would allow Cloud the necessary space and time if those were things he truly wanted.

Taking a deep breath, Zack crossed the threshold of the massive gate. He rushed his step, too excited to permit his eyes to get adjusted to the intense light that was beaming down from the bright heavens above. With nothing but the sound of his thumping heart spurring him on, Zack scoured the area attentively, eager to catch a glimpse of the blond’s whereabouts. 

Although alive with nervous excitement and the sheer thrill at the thought of their eventual encounter, Zack was unable to locate the blond. He shifted from one leg to the other, too tense to make sense of his situation so rapidly.

„Ah, Zack, perfect timing,” Kunsel appeared from somewhere to his side and came to approach him. „There is a squadron out here in need of a trainer.”

„Where is their captain?” Zack frowned, shaken by the unforeseen predicament.

„An alarm went off early this morning. He took some of the boys and went on patrol,” Kunsel offered and turned to study him. „Don’t expect them to be back until tonight, at the very least.”

Zack gritted his teeth and held onto a moment to take note of his circumstances. It seemed that all that talk about being patient from the night before was about to be put to the test. As far as he could tell, Cloud must’ve been taken with the patrol squad that went out that morning. Otherwise, he would’ve been out there training with Kunsel and the other rookies. 

„So, what do you say?” Kunsel insisted, taunting him with his eyes as per his habit.

„You can be sure I’m up for a training session,” Zack smirked, and his gaze refocused on the SOLDIER before him. „If you have the guts to lift that sword against me, that is.”

„Oh, I see how it is,” Kunsel shook his head, excitement building within. „You want to teach these rookies by example, huh?”

„No other better way,” Zack stood upright and reaching over his head, clenched his hand around the hilt of the Buster Sword.

They sparred until lunchtime, or until Zack was forced to dismiss them. And while the rest went ahead to have lunch, he chose to stay behind, lulled by the prospects of what the clear skies could offer him. 

Once alone in the courtyard, Zack took a moment for himself and gazed up at the sky. He could feel the sun’s intensity beaming down on him, and he didn’t fight it. He opened himself up to it, fully prepared to greet everything it had to throw at him. However, although sure it would help him settle his restless heart, not even the welcoming bright-blue heavens seemed to be easing some of the pressure from within. 

Seeing as there was no escaping that staggering feeling while stuck inside the Shinra base, Zack sought alternative options. The image of the slums was quick to appear in his mind, his sense of duty having him still bound to Aerith. Especially when considering that the promise they forged had not yet been fulfilled. And putting their cart to the test was a task long overdue.

* * * * *

„Zack, can I ask you something?”

„Huh?” he turned around slightly startled by the urgency that suddenly appeared in the girl’s tone. „Yeah, sure thing. What’s up?”

Zack had been preoccupied with gathering the flowers and everything else Aerith instructed him to do to prepare their cart for its venture into the slums of Sector 5. It was the first time they would be selling flowers, and so they wanted to stock up with every type they could get their hands on. Aerith was overjoyed, and it didn’t take long before Zack partook in those feelings. He had almost forgotten how contagious her joy was. 

„Hmm,” Aerith tapped her chin as though diligently going through a series of questions and queries in her mind. „Did something happen?”

„You have to be more specific than that. A lot of things happened,” Zack stood up and ran a hand through his dark ebony hair, that day’s capricious breeze sending it flying in all directions. „And keep happening...”

„Well, it’s just that, you seem...” Aerith approached him and tilted her head to the side before deciding on the best word to describe him, „different.”

Zack winced. „Different?” 

„Yeah,” she nodded. „I had no idea selling flowers could bring out such a hard-working side of you.”

„It’s all about the company, Aerith,” he chuckled and turned to resume tending to their cart. „I mean, it’s not like you are contributing much to see our project through!” 

Zack was only half-joking with that statement. Ever since he arrived at the abandoned church that day, Aerith kept throwing him suspicious glances. At first, Zack completely dismissed them, thinking that maybe he was overthinking. However, it quickly became evident there were other things on the girl’s mind, her curiosity taking her in entirely different directions than towards their task at hand.

„Oh, I get it,” she said and standing upright, pressed a fist into her palm. „You are in love!”

Zack frowned once he felt his chest tightening. Not only had Aerith completely ignored his previous statement, but she also made him confront an unexpected scenario. He huffed out a short burst of air as though to mask his surprise. And after gathering the courage to speak up, Zack turned around to address the issue.

„Now, now,” he tried to calm her. „Let’s not get ahead of ourselves.”

Aerith narrowed her eyes at him. „But if there were somebody like that, you would tell me, right?”

„Ah, well. I mean, listen, Aerith, love... that’s a lot of commitment, isn’t it?” Zack cleared his throat, struggling to find a steady ground from which to continue his argument but seemingly having little luck in that regard.

„It doesn’t have to be,” she smiled. „That’s why love is so beautiful. It just happens, and we shouldn’t hesitate to welcome it,” she followed and leaned in towards him. „Don’t you think?”

Whenever Aerith focused her striking eyes on him, Zack felt like all his defenses got shattered. The girl had an inherent way to gaze into the depths of his heart and seek out the truth, regardless if he was able to put it to words or not. Zack stood upright and darted his eyes to the side, willing to do anything to escape her tenacious stare. 

„You make it sound so easy,” he allowed in a low voice.

„Things only become complicated when we make them complicated,” she huffed and crossed her hands on her chest.

„Oh, you can say that again,” Zack exhaled and turned his back to the girl.

He groaned as he scratched the back of his head, exhausted and unsteady as the lack of sleep and his troubles were quick to surface. He firmly believed that distracting himself from the obvious would do him good, but Zack quickly had to come to terms with the fact that he had been nothing short of a mess that entire day. It still surprised him to think that he managed to pull off such a good sparring session with Kunsel. At least he succeeded in fooling him in thinking that there was nothing wrong with him. Or at least, that’s what he opted to believe.

„Zack,” Aerith then called out and tugged on the hem of his shirt. „If there is something you want to say, then please say it. There’s no point in holding it within you... especially if it’s causing you so much trouble.” 

Zack suddenly became aware of the rush of his pulse and found it hard to give voice to his thoughts. His secret turned cumbersome, his yearning too high, and it didn’t feel right to hold onto it with such fierce stubbornness anymore. Especially when it came to her. 

If Zack were to believe the perceptions of those who addressed him, then there was no point in dismissing any longer that Aerith did have feelings for him. And among them, maybe even love. Zack felt like he had to take responsability. Because she deserved to know about him... and who his heart truthfully belonged to.

„Aerith... you’re right,” he finally said and allowed the nervousness he felt quivering on his lips to fuel his speech. „I guess, a part of me always knew, but I was just slow to acknowledge it. Ever since we last met, I wanted to tell you that I...”

„Zack.” 

Zack gasped and whipped around, the sound of his name uttered with such a distinct tone unmistakable, making him jump. He already knew who it was that called out to him, but didn’t want to believe it until he met the somber of Tseng’s eyes.

„Duty calls,” the Turk followed and lifted his chin, unimpressed by the paleness that overtook Zack’s expression.

„Guess it can’t be helped,” Zack clicked his tongue and shook his head, visibly dejected by the many defeats he was made to face in a single day.

He peered over his shoulder and felt his heart jitter when he saw the pleading eyes Aerith was throwing his way. Still aware that he owed her an explanation, Zack chose to smile through his hurt and approaching the girl, he nodded confidently to her. 

„Until next time, ok?”

„Whenever you are ready,” Aerith offered softly and replied to his sincere smile with one of her own. „I’ll wait for you, Zack.”

Passing by their cart, Zack glanced at the beautiful flowers stored within, their yellow beautiful and radiant, spreading light and scent lavishly around them. In his march, he eventually lifted his eyes at Tseng and shook his head slightly. 

„Impeccable timing as always,” Zack scoffed and almost brushed shoulders with Tseng as he exited the church.

„I hope I didn’t interrupt anything between you two,” he offered, the scent of irony so sharp it stung Zack through his chest.

„Oh, no nothing major,” he continued in the same tone as Tseng followed him outside the church. „Just the confession of a lifetime,” he uttered under his breath.

Tseng chuckled dismissively. „Kids.”

„What did you say!?” Zack turned to him a bit too abruptly.

„Steady yourself, SOLDIER,” Tseng frowned, Zack’s reaction a bit too reminiscent of Sephiroth’s. „Your mission always comes first, never forget that.”

Zack flicked his head away from Tseng and refocused on the helicopter ahead. He took a deep breath and opened his mouth to speak, affecting a much calmer tone than before.

„I told her I’d come back, you know. But I don’t know where this mission will take me or for how long I’ll be there. So during my absence... Take care of her, will you?”

„You needn’t worry about that, Zack,” Tseng replied promptly, his tone more reassuring than it had ever been.

„Thank you,” he appreciated, and for a moment, the stinging pressure in his chest subsided. 

While his thoughts were quick to direct him towards something sorrowful, Zack wanted to remain steadfast. And knowing that she will be looked after provided him a lot of comfort. It was something he desperately needed, especially after the turmoil caused by his repeatedly failed confessions.

* * * * *

Zack returned to base alongside Tseng. He instructed Zack that he should head to the briefing room, where Sephiroth was ready to update him with the details of their next mission. 

„So, his investigation was successful after all, huh?” Zack murmured to himself as he wandered the hallways, his step slow and unsteady. 

There was no shaking the fact that Zack was having a hard time focusing on the present. He had been harboring a lot of regret due to the missed opportunities that began stacking upon his shoulders. If Tseng hadn’t appeared back at the church, Zack would’ve told Aerith everything. After much deliberation, he felt so ready to share the news with somebody.

Anybody who would understand. 

Among conflicting feelings, Zack could discern between pride and worry and shame as they swam and swirled within him. And at that point, he wanted nothing more than to put his heart at ease. 

But it was agonizing when he was so alone.

Zack was proud that he had found Cloud. He never thought that liking somebody would feel this way, so invigorating and exciting. And with every step away and minute spent apart, he only came to miss him more. But maybe his feelings were getting the better of him. Because if Cloud didn’t feel the same way, then what would he do? What could he do?

Yet, Zack was determined to fight for Cloud. In his stubbornness, he would do everything in his power to prove to him that whatever it was that he was feeling wasn’t fleeting. That it had been alive in his chest for such a long time, and once he finally got to manifest it, it hadn’t died out. Only grown by the day.

And even if Cloud would ask him to wait, he would do it. He would be willing to do anything as long as it meant Cloud would be safe. Zack clenched his chest, his heart stuttering at the memory of Cloud turning his face to his and greeting him with a smile.

Zack was worried that he didn’t get to talk to Cloud at all, in a way, fearing how working alongside him would be from now. They were soldiers, and they had their duty to oversee. Their obligation towards Shinra was something Zack was very much aware of, and that was why he knew he had to be mindful. 

Cloud had a dream, he wanted to become SOLDIER. And Zack had to ensure that he was there to provide him with the proper training and everything else he might need to make it come true. It meant a lot for Cloud, and that’s how Zack knew he had to support him no matter what. 

Zack was ashamed that he had to keep hiding his feeling. His soaring heart was alive with emotion, and in normal circumstances, Zack wasn’t the type of person to shy away from making his feelings known. And yet he found himself rushing, stumbling and hesitating, a shortcoming that ending up taking away from the possible time he could’ve spent by Cloud’s side. And now they were apart again. 

It was frustrating because it felt like there was this unperceivable will that was keeping them away from each other. And Zack found it crushingly unfair. Daunting and downright... heart-breaking.

Zack exhaled loudly and lowered his head, recognizing that if he wanted to climb out of that pit of turmoil, it was essential for him to start appreciating the thing he would’ve usually taken from granted. No matter where he was or what he did, he had to take advantage of the time he was given. Hesitation, feeble spirit, unhonored promises... no, that wasn’t him. 

Zack was a man of action, and because of that, he trusted he would proceed accordingly the next time he’d see Aerith and Cloud. He’d make them proud, and most importantly, he’d prove to them that he was a reliable hero, a capable man, and above everything else, an honorable person.

While his mind wandered through unbeaten paths, his feet led him down the same corridors as they always did, his journey ending at the benches before the tall glass windows. A place so familiar and comforting, Zack wasn’t even surprised when he lifted his eyes and made sense of his destination. 

But unlike previously, this time around, he wasn’t alone, the shape of a soldier protruding steadily from the shadows. A captain most likely, awaiting orders or something of the sorts. Knowing how annoying it was to be left waiting until Sephiroth made time for his subordinates, Zack felt the need to reach out to him.

„Ah, hey, you can head back to your quarters. He’s expecting me soon, and I’ll make sure to inform everybody of their...”

„You came.”

Zack gasped as a shiver rendered him numb. Spending so much time in the far reaches of his mind made Zack oblivious to the present around him. There was no doubt that he missed the blond so much, in a way perhaps, still reticent to allow his eyes to make him believe he recognized him, out of fear that he wouldn’t actually be there. As though he were a fleeting image of a deep-rooted yearning.

„Cloud!” Zack finally called out as though anchoring himself in the moment.

And in his clumsy joy, Zack rushed closer to Cloud, eager to take in every detail of his appearance. The blond didn’t look mad or angry... or anything of the sorts. Hidden behind those faint shadows under his eyes might’ve been a bit of sorrow or uneasiness or a mixture of both as Zack had no idea what had been going on in his mind that entire time. Not to mention, he seemed exhausted from the day’s hardships.

The blond looked ruffled, still in his uniform, probably having just arrived back to base from his mission. Regardless of his appearance, there was something about him that still managed to stir Zack’s heart, and in such an easy manner, he almost found himself unable to suppress his smile.

„How have you...”

„How was your...”

They both stop talking, seeing as neither was able to finish saying their piece and stare at the other for a long moment. And in coming to terms with each other’s excitement towards their reunion, they started laughing.

„Welcome back,” Cloud allowed finally, a heartfelt smile persisting on his lips.

Pushing himself forward, Cloud then bridged the distance between them and embraced Zack. It only took a moment for his avid warmth to clash against his frigid uneasiness, but once it did, Zack found himself at the mercy of Cloud’s affection. Because through that warmth, that perfect feeling of his body against his, Zack had managed to make peace with something that had been troubling him ever since he met Cloud. And it was then, amidst all those doubts and feelings of care and understanding that Zack came to realize that... it wasn’t Gongaga that he missed. 

And that maybe... home wasn’t a place. His yearnings stemmed from needing to have somebody that he could entrust with the safety of his heart. To give him the power to move forward and be better. To conquer the darkness and terror that sprouted within and around him. And through Cloud, Zack had found a person who seemed willing to do everything it took to make sure he had somebody to return to.

„Glad to be home,” Zack allowed and wrapped his arms around Cloud, tenderly bringing him closer to his chest, sincerely wishing to keep him there forever.

* * * * *

„Cloud.”

The sound of rapid footsteps was raucously echoing through the hallways. It had gotten incredibly late by the time their meeting ended, and everybody had already turned in for the night. And yet, Cloud and Zack were being anything but discreet as they were making their way down the corridor towards an unknown destination. 

„Cloud!”

Cloud inadvertently adopted a faster step, no matter how much Zack was calling out to him. It wasn’t so much that he didn’t hear him, but because of the intensity of his emotions, Cloud was unable to decide on what he wanted to do. The thumping of his heart was so loud, it reached his head and threatened to deafen his ears.

„Listen to me...” Zack cried out and thrust his arm forward. „Cloud, stop!”

The blond’s body recoiled the moment Zack grabbed onto his wrist. He stopped in his march and whipped himself around to face Zack. Zack had his mouth opened ready to speak, but seeing Cloud so distraught made his mind stutter.

They had just left the briefing room after Sephiroth gave them the specifics of their new mission. Not only was Zack startled when Sephiroth almost stumbled upon them in each other’s arms, but what surprised him, even more, was that Cloud was asked to join them in the briefing room as well. 

Knowing that he would be in front of Sephiroth and besides Cloud, Zack forced himself to overcome his nerves and display the best version of himself he could muster. Not to mention that he had been curious to hear the reason why Sephiroth pulled him away from Sector 5 so abruptly earlier that day.

And yet, although mentally prepared, Zack still found himself taken aback by the sheer magnitude of the information that Sephiroth shared with them. As it were, there indeed might’ve been more behind Zack’s initial suspicions than anybody could’ve anticipated. And based on Sephiroth’s most recent recon mission, their investigation would take them to...

Nibelheim.

Driven by a sense of concern, Zack darted the corner of his eyes to the side, specifically to the blond who was standing to his left. He had never seen him turn so pale in such a quick matter of consecutive moments. Zack feared that he might faint, but just like him, he held himself steady, disinclined to allow Sephiroth to spot any weakness in him.

It all then came together in Zack’s mind as to why Sephiroth chose Cloud to accompany them. Nibelheim was Cloud’s home village, and he was probably the best suited to be their guide. Zack swallowed, recognizing that while it was true that he had been looking forward to heading out and taking part in some field missions, that was not entirely what he had in mind. Especially after seeing the strain that the news put on Cloud, the only thing Zack could do in those moments was pray that the debriefing session would soon be over so that he could comfort the blond. However, what he wasn’t expecting was that Cloud would rush out the door so quickly after being dismissed, he feared he might never be able to catch up to him.

„What’s with you all of a sudden?” Zack asked, panting, his hand still clutching tightly onto Cloud’s wrist.

Instead of replying, the blond frowned and scurried his eyes to the side. Zack allowed him a moment to catch his breath, and then once he felt his muscles relaxing, he released him from his hold.

„Is it because of the mission?” Zack queried and then stood upright, understanding that maybe the blond just needed some space before coming to terms with his predicament.

Cloud was slow to react as though finding it hard to settle his mind. He looked conflicted, troubled, and incredibly tense. Whatever it was that was going through his mind had downright shaken him to the core, but at least, he wasn’t trying to run away anymore. He held his ground before Zack, and he couldn’t help but be proud of Cloud’s strength.

„Sephiroth said that...” Cloud finally spoke and lifted his hand to his neck, rubbing there gently as though to distract from his flustered gaze. „I’m required to take part in the mission with you.”

„Yeah, that’s right,” Zack allowed, and tilted his head slightly to the side, still having a hard time understanding the source of the blond’s worries. „Do you think it’s weird that we are going to Nibelheim?”

„No, not at all,” Cloud said with half a mouth. „I just never imagined I would get to visit home... while still on duty.”

„Then try to see it as a good thing,” Zack smiled. „We are going there to help out. Plus, you should take this opportunity to check up on your loved ones too. I bet they missed you tons.”

Cloud gasped softly and eventually brought himself to nod. Seeing that his morose expression still didn’t entirely disperse from his face, Zack decided to press on, curious to find the precise reason for Cloud’s dejection.

„Besides, it’s not like we are such a boring bunch, you know,” Zack joked and turned to the side. „Sure, Sephiroth might be a bit scary, but I will protect you from him if he ever shows his fangs in your direction.”

„That’s not it, Zack,” Cloud dismissed and hummed his thoughts into words. „What if I am...”

„You’re ready,” he intervened, anticipating his words, that sort of hesitation all too familiar for him just as well. „I have the utmost trust in your abilities. And in you, Cloud.”

Zack noticed Cloud perk up, his eyes quick to glimmer with reignited confidence. Zack’s heart lifted, the image of the blond before him all too endearing.

„We need to be ready first thing in the morning. So be sure to get a lot of rest until then,” Zack advised warily. „There is no certainty where this mission will take us, or for how long we’ll be away, so we need to be in tip-top shape from the start.” 

That entire time his eyes were fixated on the blond, studying him as though to take in his every reaction. And because of the desperation that flickered now and again in the depths of his eyes, Zack saw no better method than to help bring him back to the present than to lean in towards him. Cloud flinched at the sudden gesture, but didn’t oppose the kiss that felt so soft and sweet against his lips, Cloud felt it linger even after Zack retreated from him.

Cloud lifted his fingers to his mouth, and bringing his eyes up to Zack’s nodded confidently. In doing so, he tried his best to put on a professional mask, although there was no dismissing the beautiful color his cheeks took in response to the sneaky kiss Zack stole from him just moments before.

„You going to be ok for tonight?” Zack queried with a smile.

Cloud turned his face to the side and scrunched up his lips, too tactful to give voice to his thoughts. He then nodded, as though to lessen the tension between them. Zack lowered his head slightly, understanding that in the next couple of moments, he would have to take his leave just as well. But before he did that, he knew he had to say his piece. 

„Also, Cloud... before you go,” Zack allowed and went to scratch the back of his neck, struggling to suppress his frustrations and, at the same time, put his thoughts in an order that won’t make him sound too brash. „Listen, about what I said last time we met... I’m sorry. Sincerely, I am. It was never my intention to put any pressure on you. From now on, I’m not going to push you or insist, or anything of the sorts, so feel free to...”

In his frenzy to explain himself, Zack had turned his body slightly away from Cloud. He had no idea what the blond was thinking and, in a way, was reticent to check. But at least, Zack was content he was able to convey some of his worries. No matter what the blond decided to do, for the time being, Zack would have to follow through with his wishes. Regardless of how painful they might end up being.

„Can I...?”

Zack perked up. He could’ve sworn he had just heard Cloud saying underneath his breath but couldn’t be sure. He tilted his head slightly, his eyes pleading for an explanation or a hint, anything to quell the curiosity that ignited in his chest.

„Wha-what did you say?”

„Can I come to your room?” Cloud finally asked and locked eyes with him, in a gesture so abrupt and intense Zack felt his knees weakened from the brute determination his eyes outlining his eyes.

„Cloud,” Zack breathed and pressing a hand to his shoulder, he used his slender body as support. „Of course, you can,” he then whispered after bringing him to his chest and embracing him dearly. „But only if that’s what you really want.”

„Just... no funny business,” Cloud spoke up and pushed on his chest to look him in the eye. „You said it yourself. We have a mission tomorrow, and we need to rest.”

„That sounds fair to me,” Zack smiled and reached up to Cloud's face to brush his thumb against his cheek, his attraction to the blond always alive and just as tender.

* * * * *

The door closed loudly behind them, but it wasn’t like either was paying any attention to it. Cloud was so fiercely kissing Zack he barely found any time to breathe, let alone pay attention to where he was directing his steps. Cloud was hanging from his neck, eager to deliver kiss after kiss, ever-deepening them with tiny gestures and breathless moans. 

The kisses became more harsh and desperate than ever before. Judging by the intensity which they were offered, rough and reckless, it made Zack feel as though those moments would be the last one they would spend together. And while Zack adored everything Cloud had to offer him, he couldn’t help but sense a pressing sadness emanating from Cloud that ultimately ending up staining his lips. 

Zack saw himself forced to take control of the way their intimacy was evolving, looking to disperse the gloom that was the driving force behind Cloud’s passion and replace it with something more sincere. He stood upright in front of Cloud and reaching up with his hand, he grabbed his wrist. Cloud then retreated, panting, his hot breath lingering in the small space between them. Zack smirked proudly, smitten by the delightful gaze in his hazy eyes. 

Taking advantage of his willingly defenseless posture, Zack pushed Cloud on the wall behind him. He brought Cloud’s arm above his head and fixating it against the wall, he began pressing soft kisses starting from his mouth and then down along his jaw. Cloud whimpered as Zack’s daring venture was taking the shape of something more, but there was no trace of protest in his mind. He wanted this just as much as Zack did. 

„We are quite a couple of untrustworthy people, huh?” Zack asked with a chuckle in between the wet kisses he kept delivering to Cloud’s heated neck. „Making promises and then breaking them like this.”

Zack wrapped his free hand on Cloud’s waist and slid his fingers carefully, daringly, eagerly underneath the back of his shirt. The strength in Cloud’s knees faltered the more persist Zack became in the way he touched him. 

„It’s your fault,” Cloud barely found the power to say through the half-lidded expression he wore in all its lustful glory. 

Zack was at times made to fasten his hold on him, as though afraid he might collapse. Their exchange was nothing short of fascinating and arousing, and it fed the surge of heat that was curling towards his stomach the longer Cloud allowed him to feel the softness and get accustomed to the intricacies of his bare skin. 

„How so?” Zack eventually asked, and lowering his head, even more, reached the protruding shape of Cloud’s collarbone with his lips.

„Because you...” Cloud started, but his voice quivered once Zack began nipping at the skin, dragging his tongue along every line and curve he encountered at the base of Cloud’s neck. „You make it impossible for me to resist you.”

Zack huffed against his prickled skin. „What are you trying to say, Cloud?”

Cloud reached down to him and lifted his eyes to meet his. He looked into them for a long moment and then wanted to move his gaze away, as though after having made sense of his position, his courage had suddenly vanished. But Zack was quick to react and chased after Cloud, steadying his beautiful gaze in place so that it would only focus on him.

„That I...I like you, Zack.”

For a long moment, everything turned violently calm and alarmingly quiet around them. And the longer Zack refused to allow a reaction to his confession, the quicker Cloud’s nerves started building up within him. Releasing his hand from his hold, Zack hid his expression in the ground as though trying not to give any emotions away. With his mind invaded by a rush of panic and shame, Cloud suddenly felt out of place. 

„You can’t say stuff like that.” 

Cloud felt a cold shiver run down his spine. He never heard Zack speaking with such a grave tone in his voice. In his eagerness to discover the reason behind the abrupt change in his zeal, he pressed.

„Why not?”

„Cloud, it’s just that...” Zack swallowed and lifted his head to gaze at him, the fire in his eyes burning with such a fierce desire, Cloud feared he might get singed. „Hearing you saying something so adorable... I might not be able to hold back.”

Zack stepped closer until he pressed against the length of Cloud’s body. He shifted, fastening his arms around his waist and wedging him between his legs. Cloud then gasped, noticing how much Zack was trembling in anticipation and yet resisting all the urges that were very much alive within him.

„And I don’t want to hurt you,” Zack pushed his head forward and whispered into Cloud’s ear. „You know just as much as I do that we shouldn’t... Not when we are about to head out.”

„I understand that. But I wanted you to... I felt like it was important for you to know,” Cloud uttered, his mouth dry.

„You did so well,” Zack said and brought his hand upward, brushing against Cloud's cheekbone and gently moving his hair behind his ear. „I’m so happy to have you in my life, you know?”

„Yeah,” Cloud nodded and pushing himself up, whispered against his lips before he finally conquered the distance between them. „I feel the same way.”

One kiss wasn’t enough for Zack. So he leaned down and kissed him again and again, careful as he didn’t want his lips to linger longer than they should’ve. Zack then moved his head to the side to ensure he wouldn’t get tempted by Cloud’s intoxicating allure. 

Cloud understood their predicament, and he planed his forehead at the spot where Zack’s neck and shoulder met and kept it there. Although the temptation was still pulsating in their veins, they chose to remain in each other’s arms, while the sound of their soaring hearts the only drumming around them.

„Are you sure you’re fine with sharing a bed?” Zack asked and nudged Cloud’s head with his shoulder to redirect his eyes towards his bed.

„I’ve slept in worse places,” Cloud said and released himself from Zack’s hold, looking to inspect the bed from up close.

It wasn’t anything fancy, but it was way bigger than what he was assigned and looked incredibly comfortable. Not to mention, the sheets must’ve had Zack’s scent all over then, and Cloud was incredibly excited by the thought of being enveloped by it.

„What is that supposed to mean?” Zack clicked his tongue, Cloud’s comment reminiscent of Aerith’s teases.

„I’m joking,” Cloud turned to him and smiled. „Besides, as long as you’re next to me, I don’t mind where we sleep.”

Zack’s eyes grew twice their original size, and for a long moment, he was caught frozen, staring at the blond before him, whose smile was nothing short of mesmerizing. Not to mention that he had joked. Cloud told a joke. 

„Cloud, seriously, you will be the end of me if you keep being like this,” Zack said and began approaching him, a different expression on his face.

„Like how?” Cloud perked up and asked, noticing the menacing aura that sprouted around Zack.

Zack put an arm around him and then leaned forward, pushing all his weight onto Cloud. They both fell unhindered and so quickly that Cloud didn’t even get a chance to oppose the crash. In the frenzy of the moment, Cloud closed his eyes and gritted his teeth, uncertain where the incident would lead him. He didn't notice where he landed until he opened his eyes and found himself in Zack’s bed, Zack’s left arm still draped around his chest as it was since the moment he pushed him.

„So perfect,” Zack uttered, hiding his face in the pillow. 

Cloud was lying on his back, his eyes glued to the ceiling. He blinked once he heard Zack speak and needed a moment to realize that despite the shock caused by Zack’s abrupt gesture, he was incredibly calm. How at ease and most of all, how happy he was. He hadn’t felt so safe in a long, and although it shouldn’t have come as a surprise for him that he found so many beautiful things while next to Zack, he still couldn’t help himself but be astounded at everything that happened to him after their chance meeting.

Although it was easy to get wrapped up in the elation he was sharing with Zack, Cloud had to be truthful and redirect his eyes to the bigger picture. Come tomorrow, they would head out, and they were expected to give it their all. He hadn’t been on a mission together with Zack ever since they took their platonic relationship further. Instinctively, he wondered how their interactions would look like. 

While in front of the other soldiers, they were able to put up a series of master-apprentice disguises. However, Sephiroth might not be so easily fooled. But was hiding something he wanted? Hadn't hiding his entire life from everything and everyone been enough already? 

Cloud narrowed his eyes and turned his head at Zack. As though feeling Cloud’s beautiful blue eyes on his, Zack then also turned. Their eyes met, and Cloud could instantly feel his skin prickle in delight. 

Zack smiled, unable to oppose his excitement when seeing that Cloud was about to open his mouth to address him.

„Maybe I should go back to my room,” he said and stood up from the bed.

Zack groaned, displeased at the sound of those words, and stretched out clumsily, looking to give himself a moment to think.

„And why is that?” he asked, upset to notice that the spot that Cloud was sitting on a moment ago was already growing cold without him there.

„Somebody might notice my absence,” Cloud explained tersely. „I don’t know how I’ll explain that. And... I still need to take a shower.”

„It’s fine,” Zack followed and pulled him back on the bed. „Besides, we’ll head out first thing in the morning,” he smiled as he guided Cloud to lay down next to him.

Eager to reassure him, Zack proceeded to drag his hand across Cloud’s side, gently inching forward until he met the sturdiness of his back. He hummed as his hand reached the small of his back. Careful as though not to tease, Zack brought his hand up and down, tracing delicate circles on his back, still very curious to take note of each muscle and vertebrae underneath his shirt. 

„So let’s not worry about anything else and just... enjoy this little time we have together. What do you think?”

Cloud’s gaze softened as he inspected Zack’s relaxed face. That distinct smile that Zack greeted him with had a strange effect on him, and Cloud couldn’t help but get mesmerized by how quickly it managed to comfort his heart. Cloud huffed out a laugh, making peace with the fact that there would’ve been a part of himself that would’ve deeply regretted if he left Zack’s side once more. 

„Yeah,” Cloud finally allowed and pushed himself closer to Zack. "I'd like that."

Zack wrapped his left arm around Cloud, wishing to hold onto him. He had his eyes closed that entire time, giving off the impression that he might fall asleep at any moment, but the truth was that sleep had never been part of his plan. Because Cloud was there beside him, in his arms, at his chest. He wished to stay awake and record every moment of their time together so that it will always remain inscribed in his memory and heart. 

Zack was surprised to find that despite his typical stubbornness and desire to stick to his orders, Cloud soon relaxed, and judging by the sweet and soft way he was breathing, he had fallen asleep. Zack bit his lip, forcing himself and inadvertent his heart to calm down. But the task proved more complicated than it sounded. He had never felt so much happiness before in his life. And in those exact moments, he honestly thought he might burst with joy.

„Go to sleep already,” Cloud murmured, his voice raspy with sleep.

After clumsily lifting his hand, Cloud proceeded to lightly punch him in his chest, somewhere near his heart.

It must’ve been beating so loudly it woke Cloud. Zack huffed out a laugh and tightening his grip on the blond, he pushed himself forward and kissed him in the middle of his forehead. He then pressed his cheek against his head and took a deep breath.

In closing his eyes, Zack came to terms with how fortunate he was that after the hardships he encountered, his heart was allowed that blissful reprise. And most notably, that he had such an outstanding person to share it with. 

„I like you too.”

* * * * *

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> The **long-awaited** (*fingers crossed*) part II of the previous chapter! Now, this was quite the rollercoaster ride to write but it was a lot of fun! 
> 
> The end of this chapter announces a major change of scenery as well since we are about to head into the Nibelheim arc! I hope everyone is excited because I certainly am~
> 
> Keep in mind, you can find me on [Tumblr](https://www.tumblr.com/blog/nightyelfy) if you want to stop by and say hi or follow me for future updates and projects!


	7. Chapter 7

The trip to Nibelheim started just like any other. The long highway, the monotone barren like scenery. The scorching hot air that dried their throats. The harsh, lifeless wind that was always quick to pick up when they least expected, as though a puppet to an unknown force. 

The minutes turned into hours, and by the time the sun was at its highest point in the sky, only half their journey had passed. They had to travel by truck, and regardless of how endless the trip seemed, it wasn’t like they could be picky. The Turks were the ones with the helicopters, and during those tumultuous times, they couldn’t afford to spare one for a reconnaissance mission.

While Sephiroth was in a truck alongside an infantryman, Zack and Cloud ended up together in the other. So far, keeping a reasonable distance from Sephiroth had been successful. Cloud worked out that he didn’t suspect anything out of place surrounding him and Zack. But it wasn’t like the silver-haired hero paid too much attention to either them in the first place. 

Sephiroth seemed distracted. Yet Cloud didn’t want to be fooled by that appearance. Deep down, he sensed that Sephiroth was very much present, never lost too deeply in thought. The SOLDIERs were still somewhat of a mystery to him, as they were to everybody else, but Cloud knew better than to let his guard down whenever near them. And it was during the morning of their mission to Nibelheim that Cloud realized, after a brief deliberation with himself, that he had no idea what the shape of his feelings towards Sephiroth was.

Cloud had always admired him, envied him for his strength, craved his attention in a rash desire to be noticed. But Sephiroth was prideful, cautious, and distant towards anyone who he deemed undeserving of his time. Although having not entirely give up on wishing for his approval, there was a part of Cloud that had made peace with the fact that Sephiroth might never notice him. As even now, whenever he lifted his eyes to that tall, living icicle of a man, Cloud could feel his chest tightening.

While he couldn’t tell exactly why, Cloud was almost sure that he might be harboring fear towards Sephiroth. And it must’ve had something to do with the menacing shape of his eyes as well as how unreadable he was. Not just in actions but also in words. As though whatever Sephiroth was thinking or feeling was locked behind a tight series of impenetrable doors, the likes of which Cloud would never be able to so much as reach on the tips of his toes, let alone unlock.

For the longest time, Cloud was convinced that genuine raw power, the kind Sephiroth wielded, could only come from a place of complete control over one’s emotions and suppression of their heart’s desires. In many ways, Cloud pursued that method of training, ever willing to apply similar constraints on himself. But that was all back then, in his early days in the military because now...

Now he had found Zack. 

And in him, Cloud discovered that admiration could also be warm and kind. Welcoming and requited. While the entire revelation might’ve set Cloud’s whole set of values in disarray, he didn’t oppose the change. He chose to greet it because with it came many beautiful things. And for the first time in a very long while... the tension in his heart wasn’t as taxing.

Cloud blinked repeatedly and forced his eyes away from Sephiroth’s vehicle. He then redirected them towards the man beside him and chuckled under his breath. Zack had been sleeping soundly ever since they jumped in the back of that truck. If Cloud didn’t know any better, he’d guess that Zack hadn’t been sleeping more than a couple of hours the past few nights and thus needed all the time he could get to recover. 

Waking up next to Zack that morning was nothing short of... exhilarating. Cloud was quick to jolt awake at the sound of the alarm that was going off raucously in the distance. He needed a couple of moments to make sense of his surroundings, and although a fleck of panic rushed through his veins, the moment his gaze met Zack’s delightful face, he found peace. The world stopped around him, and the sound of the alarm faded in the backgrounds of his mind as it got replaced with the steady thud of his heart. 

Zack was so enthralling even when he was sleeping that, in a way, Cloud found it difficult to force him to wake up. Under the excuse that their mission couldn’t bare any delays, he lifted his hand to Zack’s cheek. Cloud brushed the rugged area around his cross-shaped scar with his thumb a couple of times, confident that would cause a reaction. Zack then hummed, drawn by the gesture, and the corner of his lip curled slightly. 

„Why are you pretending you can’t hear that alarm?”

„I’m not pretending. I can hear it just fine. But... I didn’t have the heart to move. I mean...” Zack said through half-opened eyelids and pointed to his left arm that was still around the blond just as it had been since before they fell asleep. 

By the looks of it, neither had moved an inch the entire night. And Zack didn’t want to be the one to break their embrace.

„We have to get going, Zack,” Cloud murmured from the comfort of his chest.

„I know,” he admitted and leaned towards Cloud slightly. „Good morning, by the way,” Zack whispered against his lips before kissing them lightly.

„Good morning,” Cloud breathed, his pulse quick to rush, sending warmth to his cheeks. 

„I could get used to waking up next to you,” Zack confessed briskly and pulled his arm from around the blond. 

He then stood upright, yawned loudly, and made sure to stretch out until all muscles in his body ached. All this while fighting off the guilt that in the end, he had been the one who let go of Cloud.

„You know,” Zack tried to resume, chasing away another yawn, „you are just so...”

„I got it,” Cloud jumped on his back and embraced him from behind. „Don’t make this harder than it has to be,” he uttered in a low voice, fastening his grip around Zack’s waist.

„You’re right,” Zack huffed and brushed Cloud’s hands a couple of times with his fingers, fascinated with the pleasant way his skin felt under his touch. 

Zack knew all too well that whatever time they had to spend by each other's side was over. He knew it since last night, but somewhere along the way began hoping that morning would never come. That they could stay together a lot longer. But since it did, there was no shaking the fact that their mission was upon them.

„I’ll take a shower and change. Sephiroth is probably expecting me for a quick debriefing session before we head out.”

Cloud nodded in agreement as he watched Zack going to a nearby tall dresser. After pulling out his spare SOLDIER uniform from within, Zack headed to an adjacent room, most likely the bathroom. Cloud barely had enough time to get his clothes sorted because not three minutes later, Zack appeared before him, freshly bathed and dressed up. 

Visibly surprised, Cloud needed a moment to make sense of the abrupt change in energies. Although impressed, he had a hunch that being a SOLDIER had little to do with Zack’s ability to mobilize himself when in a pinch. A more plausible explanation was that Zack’s laid back attitude had more often than not rendered him late to meetings and debriefings, so he learned on his own how to be prompt and efficient with the time he needed to get himself ready.

„I’ll go on ahead, but feel free to use anything here,” he smiled. „See you down at the garage in a few, yeah?”

„Yeah,” Cloud agreed and rubbed the back of his neck slightly. 

„It’s going to be fine. Besides, we’re heading out together. And there’s nothing to be afraid of when we’re together,” Zack reassured and jumped over to Cloud’s side. „I promise.”

Cloud lifted his eyes to him, big, blue, and beautiful in such a distinct way, Zack thought he might drown if he stared in them for even a moment longer. Taking advantage of their proximity, Cloud lifted himself towards his lips and stole a kiss from the smitten ebony-haired man. 

„For good luck.” 

The explanation came quick, but Zack was unable to process it. He blinked, surprised by the swiftness in which everything happened, his only regret was that the kiss didn’t last longer. 

„Now go,” Cloud urged promptly and began pushing him towards the door before the fire in his eyes ignited.

Zack snickered and was about to leave the room when temptation struck again. He peered over his shoulder and threw the blond one more glance. It was as though he couldn’t bring himself to believe that Cloud was truthfully there. That he had been there by his side for an entire night. He shook his head, and after throwing Cloud a sly winked, Zack finally left and closed the door behind him.

Cloud smiled at the memory from that morning, Zack’s smile etched in his heart in such a distinct way there was no chance he could ever forget it. The warmth and ease that it inspired within were unmistakable, easily coming to challenge those of the morning sun. 

Reluctant to surrender that peace that had taken shape within him, Cloud settled his gaze on the sleeping man beside him. He considered himself fortunate that he was able to stay with Zack even as they were heading towards Nibelheim. And just as he was about to get lost in his mind again, Cloud had to hold himself steady when he felt the air around him turning and saw Zack abruptly opening his eyes.

„Wha-what’s wrong?” Cloud posed, his arms raised defensively towards Zack.

„We’re getting close,” Zack offered stiffly, his eyes big and filled with a light the type Cloud had a hard time placing.

Cloud stood up and went to investigate their surrounding. After parting the truck’s cover to inspect the area, he gasped. The barren scenery had indeed disappeared. And replacing it were thick forests and prideful mountain ranges, winding up and down as they shaped the landscape around them. 

„How did you know?” Cloud turned to Zack only to see him approaching.

„The air changed...” he said, and closing his eyes, took a deep breath. „There’s no mistaking this scent... you smell like this too.”

Cloud winced. „What do you m—”

„Pure, refreshing... cold,” Zack proceeded to explain, his eyes still closed as though like that he was able to grasp something inaccessible to most people.

„Cold?” Cloud repeated unconvinced and paused to think for a brief moment only to then conclude nonchalantly. „You’re strange.”

Zack opened his eyes in surprise. He ended up chuckling, delighting in the relaxed expression on Cloud’s face. He knew all too well the kind of uneasiness the thought of their mission stirred within the blond, and yet, Zack promised himself he would do his best to help shoulder his burden even though he still wasn’t sure about the specifics of his troubles. But maybe they stemmed from so many places, both past and present that up to a point, they became blurred and jumbled even for Cloud.

„You make it sound like that’s a bad thing,” Zack added with a playful scoff and nudged Cloud to the side so that he could get a better look at the area outside.

Thinking back at it, Cloud had indeed eased up. He wasn’t as harsh with himself as he was when Zack first met him. It was reassuring to know that despite the apparent distance between them, they were somehow managing to build bridges and get closer to each other. And more importantly, that Cloud felt comfortable enough next to Zack that he didn’t always hide anymore. Somehow, Cloud was steadily coming out of his shell, revealing to Zack small parts of his inner self he would never show to probably anybody else. And Zack couldn’t help but get excited every time he noticed those discrete changes in his reactions and gestures.

Cloud scooted over and allowed Zack to sit beside him. He might’ve needed a while to figure it out, but the longer he examined Zack with his gaze, the more transparent certain things became. Because of the way Zack was looking outside, expression wide, and intense, Cloud understood that he was curious. Intrigued to find out everything he could, take in all the details of the area. Familiarize himself with all its elements to understand it better. Take it in and make it his own as though... Zack was looking to do the same with him. 

By grasping the place where Cloud grew up, his childhood village, and its surroundings, Zack hoped that he would eventually better understand Cloud too. So that next time he would feel down, Zack would know how to comfort him. So that next time Cloud would be overwhelmed with worries, he would be able to say the right words. So that when he was troubled, Zack would turn out to be the perfect pillar to support him. 

„It’s so beautiful...” Zack said with a breathy voice, utterly mesmerized, charmed by everything he saw. 

The soaring snowy mountain peaks that dared to challenge the height of the heavens by reaching up towards them. The intense emerald green of the lush forests, and the sturdiness of the tall, dark tree trunks that seemed to run ceaselessly into the distance around them. The vibrant color of the endless blue skies and the brightness of the sun, which were quick to strike him with a bittersweet sense of deja vu. Everything seemed to fit in a flawless harmony and together painted an outstanding picture that would challenge even the most skilled of artists. 

„Yeah,” Cloud agreed, his eyes still fixated on the ebony-haired man beside him. „Really beautiful.”

* * * * *

Zack’s eagerness to not miss any details of the area around Nibelheim as well as his desire to persuade Cloud to tell him everything about it were suddenly cut short when the trucks were brought to a standstill.

Judging by the paleness that overtook all other features of Cloud’s face, they had reached their destination. And the confirmation to that assumption came once they were ordered to disembark. The two quickly followed suit, and while Zack was stuck ogling around, careful and curious, Sephiroth went on ahead with Cloud and the other two infantrymen. 

It had been so long since Zack was sent out he felt he needed a bit to get used to his new surroundings. But there was no doubt that Zack felt reinvigorated and just as excited to get their mission started. Besides, that was why he enrolled in the military in the first place. The sheer thrill of it was what kept his heart pumping. And nudged by the thought that he’d have Cloud with him for that entire time, for a moment, everything seemed almost perfect. 

„Coming home... that must feel so...” 

Zack could hear Sephiroth talking as he approached the group right at the threshold of the village of Nibelheim. He stopped and tilted his head slightly, uncertain of the pang of mistrust in Sephiroth’s voice. It had been a while since Zack heard him speak with such inflection, not since his confession to him about Angeal and Genesis to be precise while in the confidence of the briefing room. Whatever stirred Sephiroth must’ve been significant; otherwise, he would never bring himself to speak so openly.

What piqued Zack’s interest, even more so, was that Sephiroth had been staring at Cloud the entire time. And the light in their eyes flickered and dimmed the longer their exchange lasted. Zack couldn’t place Sephiroth’s gaze, but there was something about it that was unsettling. Not wishing to allow the bizarre, downright terrifying stare-down to persist, Zack then intervened, his tone stern.

„Sephiroth.” 

Sephiroth’s eyes grew as he turned towards Zack. Fixating upon him, he gave Zack a look, so withering it manifested as a chill that coiled down his spine. 

„Is everything alright?”

„We need to move,” Sephiroth instructed curtly, his tone returning to that somber one that everyone was accustomed to hearing.

Zack shifted from one leg to the other and turned to his right towards Cloud. He barely caught him because the blond jolted forward, quick to follow in Sephiroth’s footsteps. It was then that Zack noticed that there was something about Cloud, too, that had previously escaped him. He was wearing his helmet. 

Sure, the helmet was part of the infantry uniform, and Zack knew how law-abiding Cloud was. However, there must’ve been more behind his gesture than just following orders. While Sephiroth’s strict air shouldn’t be disregarded, Cloud choosing to wear his helmet must’ve had more to do with the fact that they were in Nibelheim. But if that were true, then it meant that Cloud was not only uncomfortable with being there but also that... 

He was hiding. Cloud didn’t want anybody to know that he had returned. 

Anybody or somebody in particular? Zack couldn’t say for sure, and he would be lying if he’d deny his intrigue piqued.

Scratching the back of his head, Zack was trying to come to terms with the fact that maybe Nibelheim did have a strange effect on people. And not just on its inhabitants but travelers as well. While he couldn’t define the reason accurately, Zack thought he should remain vigilant. Because if nothing else, he wanted to make sure he could assist his comrades in any way he could, even if that meant help them hold their ground or regain their footing.

„We will use the rest of the day to do reconnaissance around the village. The rendezvous point will be at the inn near the town’s edge,” Sephiroth gazed somewhere to his side as though to indicate the exact location of the place where they would be spending the night. „At sunset. Not a moment later.”

„Sir, yes, sir,” the infantrymen replied in unison and saluted Sephiroth. 

Deep down, Zack found himself already celebrating. He was sure he’d be able to assign Cloud to have his back, and that way, they’d be patrolling together. Additionally, maybe he could also have Cloud show him around, or, if nothing else, at least he’d spend some more time by his side. 

Sephiroth was, however, faster to intervene and shut his enthusiasm down when he gave out specific instructions to everybody in his command. The silver-haired hero was to patrol the area at the base of the reactor, which was located atop the mountain up ahead while the rest would be guided by Cloud along the outskirts of town. As for Zack...

„The town will suit you well.”

„The town? I mean, sure it’s not a problem, but compared to your tasks, the town is...” Zack blurted in protest and scratched the top of his head, unsure if „unexciting” was a good description or if it would come to offend anybody.

„The perfect place for your keen eyes,” Sephiroth continued. „If you spot anything... or anyone that matches the description of our astray friends, be sure to let me know.”

Zack’s eyebrows shot upward. He understood what Sephiroth wanted. Or better yet, expected. In a way, if his intel was correct, they might not be the only ones who found their way to Nibelheim. 

Zack nodded, accepting Sephiroth’s stance and, consequently, recognizing the importance of his task. He watched as the others departed from before him, and although his heart stung when seeing Cloud leave as well, Zack understood that the faster he pinpointed the source of the disturbance, the quicker they could get the bottom of it. And then all the danger from the area would be lifted. Zack had been determined to do his best from the very start, and not just for the sake of their mission, but because Nibelheim was important. It was Cloud’s hometown, and it was still inhabited.

The villagers were not told to evacuate or informed at the possible dangers that lurked in the ever-looming shadow of the grand Mako reactor that towered above everything around it as though a mountain itself. The way the mission was to be carried out was stealthily, and Zack willingly complied with that approach as he began making his way through town—focused, attentive, and above everything else ready to intervene at a moment’s notice.

The fact that the town was rather small didn’t seem to deter the inhabitants from greeting Zack as though he was one of their own. He concluded that although secluded, the village might have a lot of travelers passing through or seeking rest during their voyages. They appeared to be friendly and kind, and the more time Zack spent among them, the easier it was for him to get lost in their hospitality. At times, he couldn’t help but want to compare Nibelheim to Gongaga, but he didn’t even know where to start with that, so in the end, he abandoned the intention altogether. 

During his wander around town, Zack stumbled upon the market place. Inherently excited by the possibility to glance at the wares they were peddling as well as getting a chance to further familiarize himself with his surroundings, Zack advanced his exploration. 

The smell of berries and roots and minty leaves was predominant in the air around him. Zack would often stop at various stalls, picking up bits and pieces that had inevitably caught his attention. Almost every merchant had a specific variety of items on display, among which tonics and medicine, weapons, and clothes. Everything looked like it not only came from their back gardens but also that it was produced there by the local craftsmen and smiths. Zack’s eyes were quick to take in the details and intricacies of the mountain-area craftsmanship and determined that although unfamiliar with the designs and stitchings, he found everything utterly fascinating. 

It wasn’t until Zack passed by a local’s accessories stall that his enthusiasm piqued. Zack approached and fidgeting over the display case, as though he was browsing for a new weapon, he took his time until he found something that won him over wholly. 

„I added a small discount for you, young man,” the elderly woman chirped, accepting Zack’s money. „I wish more people would smile as much as you do.”

„Much appreciated, granny,” he said and carefully placed the newly purchased item in his pocket. „Hey, speaking of which, you wouldn’t happen to know anything about...”

Zack froze with his mouth open as a strange sensation formed at the back of his head, and his thoughts were lost to him before he could finish. Holding himself steady, Zack fought the urge to turn and investigate his surroundings. Something was out of place, and it was up to him to be mindful of his reactions. 

„No, nevermind,” he dismissed playfully and smiled widely once more. „Thank you for your service, granny,” Zack followed, and the gray-haired woman waved at him as he took his leave.

Zack distanced himself from the stall, wanting to assure a good vantage point before turning and confirming his suspicions. And as he strolled, he realized that the feeling was still there, pressing, irritating, urging him to act. A feeling that Zack was all too familiar with. 

Somebody was watching him. But unlike the previous times that he was plagued with that distinct sensation, this time around, it felt somewhat tame and... innocent.

While he had yet to encounter an innocent stalked, Zack couldn’t resist the urge anymore. After passing by the side of a nearby stone building, he steadied himself, recognizing that he had found the ideal moment to confront the mysterious figure which was still on his trail. Holding his breath in anticipation, Zack then turned. 

Despite the accuracy of his instincts and swiftness of his gestures, Zack didn’t get to find out much about his stalker. They had scurried away as though they were able to read his intentions. 

„Long dark hair...” he noted and rubbed his chin, the fleeting sight of the perpetrator imprinted in his mind.

Slightly bothered of the failed apprehension, Zack eventually eased up, thinking that it almost certainly was a pickpocketer. Gutsy, but not bold enough to approach him while in tight spaces. Just to assure that he hadn’t missed anything, Zack took one more walk around the village before finally making his way back to the inn.

With the setting sun beaming its last rays through the wide arched windows of the main hallway of the inn, Zack quickly found that he was not alone. Sephiroth was there too, and by the looks of it, he had been waiting for a while. Zack found it admirable that although his desire for seclusion was still pulsating inside of him, Sephiroth fought it in favor of their mission. 

Initially, Zack’s intention had been to look for some dinner, his stomach faintly grumbling after a day of barely fulfilling military rations. However, after gambling with the fact that a few minutes of abstinence weren’t going to do him any significant harm, he decided to approach Sephiroth.

„Nothing,” he offered flatly, implying the question. „I don’t want to point fingers, but something tells me you already knew that was the case.”

„Yes. However, my intention was to be thorough.”

„Fair enough,” Zack nodded. „But still, I can’t help but feel slightly guilty that the villagers weren’t notified. At least to be wary, if nothing else.”

„That’s why I left them with you, Zack,” Sephiroth turned to him, his gestures small and contained. „I thought that if we were to stir something or someone... they might be willing to do anything to take the advantage from our hands. Your assignment from the very beginning has been to prevent that from happening.”

„Always one step ahead, huh, Sephiroth,” Zack shook his head, impressed at how thorough the SOLDIER was in regards to every aspect of their mission.

Sephiroth nodded pridefully and turned his body towards the windows once more. He would’ve preferred to stay there, gazing outside in utter silence was it not for Zack’s lively desire to test his luck at a conversation.

„So are you going to tell me?” he asked, crossing his arms on his chest. „Earlier when we got here... What was that all about?”

Sephiroth took a long moment before displaying any hint that he had heard Zack’s question. His gaze was steadfast as it was fixated upon a distant spot in the sky. Zack could almost swear it was as though Sephiroth could see something nobody else could. He seemed so amazed by it that he didn’t want to miss any second of its manifestation. 

„You seemed...” Zack pressed, bothered to think he was being purposely ignored.

„My curiosity got the better of me,” Sephiroth intervened, looking somewhat distraught for a fleeting moment. „But I suppose it’s comforting to know that it is something common amongst all humans.”

He then took a deep breath and narrowing his eyes, Sephiroth redirected them towards another spot on the blooming twilight sky.

„I don’t have a hometown. And I...I merely wanted to know how it was to be back. To return to your origins. It must feel so... fulfilling. As though the cycle has come to an end, and the time to rest is upon you,” Sephiroth said, and his eyes flitted towards Zack. „A type of freedom, perhaps.”

„Is that something you want?” 

„I suppose not,” he allowed wearily. „I wouldn’t know what to do with myself if I were ever told that I’d fulfilled my purpose.”

„You make it sound like it’s the end of the world,” Zack observed, his tone lightly teasing. 

„It might be. The end of my world, that is,” Sephiroth then turned and broke their eye contact.

„No world is as small as you make it seem,” Zack scoffed. „Or as fragile.”

„You speak with such certainty...”

Zack hummed in agreement and pressed. „So, no hometown... what of your parents?”

„Just my mother. Jenova,” Sephiroth uttered the name, and it lingered for a long moment on his quivering lip. „I wish I could say more, but I barely knew her. She died shortly after I was born.”

„Damn,” Zack frowned, recognizing that he might’ve not been prepared to hear such a candid disclosure. „Sorry to hear.”

Suddenly, Zack felt out of place; he didn’t know what to make of their situation. Judging by the way he was holding his chin up, Sephiroth seemed utterly unimpressed with his words, unphased as though he had entirely disregarded them or, more likely, saw them as futile.

„Listen, um...” Zack cleared his throat and took a step toward Sephiroth. „You can come with me to Gongaga at some point. And I can tell you all about how it feels to return home. That is if you are still curious to find out.”

Sephiroth’s eyes grew wide, as though deliberating upon the offer. And for a split second, his expression lifted, a jarring light in his eyes indicating that the silver haired-hero became tempted to accept. But that expression was so faint and short-lived, Zack wondered if he had indeed seen it or the setting sun was merely playing tricks on him. Because when Sephiroth finally turned to face him, he replied with a huff. Short, brisk, and... dismissive. 

Once more, Zack found himself unable to understand what to make of Sephiroth’s true intentions. Regardless of his previous desire to learn to sympathize with his new friends and companions, it was as though after their brief heart-to-heart exchange, Sephiroth had abandoned that mentality entirely. It was clear that whatever Sephiroth was going through, it was unknown territory. In a way, it’d be considered normal for him to feel so unsteady and reserved. 

„Can I count on you for one more sweep of the area before turning in for the night?”

Zack instantly observed Sephiroth’s desire to change the topic and divert his attention towards something else. Just as he was about to rebuke, Zack’s eyes got drawn towards the window to his right. He paused for a long moment once he began to distinguish the shape of the three infantrymen who were returning from their patrol. Without delay, Zack made up his mind about his intentions, figuring that perhaps allowing Sephiroth his privacy, for the time being, was probably for the best.

„Of course! Already on it,” he said with a smile a bit too broad before rushing down the stairs. 

* * * * *

„So I told him that I would take him to Gongaga if he wanted. And you know what he did? He just turned his back on me. Look, just like this,” Zack said and after placing the apple to the side, he straightened his back and pulled off his best impression of a cold and calculated Sephiroth, but he was so bad at it, Cloud was actively suppressing his desire to burst into laughter. „And then he changed the subject... man, I was so disheartened. Here I thought I was being considerate.”

Zack had caught Cloud right before he and the other infantrymen stepped inside the inn. He approached them and quickly singled out Cloud, saying that they were assigned to evening patrol duty. While the other two rejoiced for the free time they were allowed, Cloud accepted his task without objection and then began following Zack. 

As they were walking through town, Zack couldn’t help but throw glances in his direction, looking to put all the pieces of him together in his mind. Spending a whole day around Nibelheim couldn’t have been easy for Cloud, especially considering how stiff his step was and tense his shoulders. Not to mention he was still wearing that helmet. 

If it were up to Zack, he would put Cloud up on a pedestal so that everybody could see how beautiful and perfect he was. However, maybe that wouldn’t be such a good idea because then people might get tempted to approach and snatch him away. Not that Zack would ever allow such a thing. So in that regard, maybe it wasn’t such a bad idea that he was wearing the helmet.

While he chose to stay silent during their patrol, apart from a few impartial and friendly observations, Zack would’ve gladly let his gestures do the talking, conveying through them all the affection he wanted to adorn the blond with. There was nothing more Zack wanted than to reach out and slide his hands across his shoulders, massage and kiss his neck, anything to disperse the tension that burdened the blond. 

As soon as they reached the edge of the city, Cloud suggested an alternative way they should take. Zack smirked and followed gladly, reminding himself that Cloud was in his element now. That was his home, and he was more than familiar with everything around them. 

They followed a rocky path until the edge of the villagers’ gardens, and then they jumped the fence and continued their way up a hill. The city limits were far behind them at that point, but that didn’t particularly bother Zack. Because from up there, they could see the whole town. He liked to think that it offered them a good vantage point over everything and everyone. 

Cloud redirected Zack towards a sturdy cedar tree, and only after they reached the secure shelter underneath its branches that he finally took off his helmet. While Zack knew he was staring, he had no intention of averting his gaze or pretend otherwise. No matter how many times he was met with Cloud’s faultless golden hair, his heart always reacted the same, quick to scatter delightful jolts of happiness within him. 

It was only after Zack sat down beside Cloud that he realized that the trip up the steep side of the mountain had been taxing on his already dwindling energy resources. Recognizing that in him, Cloud unfastened his pouch and presented him with an unlikely meal–a bunch of large green apples and a whole crusty homemade bread. Most likely things he picked before heading back at the inn, thinking that if nothing else, it would make for a good dinner. What Cloud never expected, however, was that he would be sharing his humble meal with Zack.

Zack’s eyes grew, excited at both the gesture and the food, making it seem that he was about to savor a meal at a luxurious restaurant. But more so than the meal was the company and that made up for everything the food was lacking. 

„What are you still laughing about?” Zack asked as he took another bite of his apple after seeing that Cloud was chuckling softly.

„Your accent... it’s really funny.”

„What are you saying?! I don’t have an accent.”

„Yes, you do,” Cloud said, his voice almost accusatory. „Whenever you think of Gongaga and get all excited about your home, your accent comes out.”

„Now you are just making up stuff,” Zack reprimanded and crossed his arms on his chest.

„It’s not a bad accent,” Cloud shrugged and titled his head towards him slightly. „I quite like it.”

„Oh yeah?” Zack turned, and once he caught Cloud’s gaze, a grin quickly took the place of the pout from before. „And what else do you like?” he asked daringly, an eyebrow raised. 

„You,” Cloud replied without hesitation. „Everything about you.”

Zack’s expression lifted, synchronized with the feeling inside his chest. Cloud’s sincerity had a way to hit him in full force, and he was left defenseless and fully exposed before him. And although not an appropriate stance for a soldier at any point, in front of Cloud, he didn’t mind having his vulnerabilities displayed so openly.

„Get out of here,” Zack chuckled and ruffled Cloud’s hair playfully. „But no, please go on,” he ended and rested his hand around the nape of Cloud’s neck, his fingers brushing at the smooth skin.

Cloud gulped, the gentle and rhythmical touch sending shivers throughout his body. While it wasn’t necessarily his intention, Cloud knew he triggered something within Zack. That playfulness again... barely encouraged and yet so quick to show its potency.

„You just couldn’t help it could you?”

„What do you mean?”

„Wanting to be everybody’s friend,” Cloud added warningly.

„Ah, with Sephiroth, you mean. No, that wasn’t what that was at all. Well, yeah, sure a bit, but that wasn’t the idea behind it...” Zack stopped and retried his approach. „I suppose it’s a reflex by now to want to offer my help to anybody I feel needs it, but for whatever reason refuses to ask for it.”

Several expressions swirled across Cloud’s face as soon as Zack was done talking. It didn’t take Zack long to notice that what he said might’ve had a strange effect on the blond. And before Cloud could establish any precise connections in his head, Zack lowered his hand and pressed it on his shoulder, his grip firm.

„You aren’t anybody. So don’t even think like that,” he said without flinching, his gaze fixated onto Cloud’s. „I’m here for you because I believe in you, not because I think you need help. If nothing else, you were the one who helped me probably more than you could ever know.”

Cloud gasped, and his mouth trembled slightly as a realization that he couldn’t avoid crashed over him like a wave. Zack had seen right through him, and it happened so fast it felt almost instant. Feeling somewhat guilty, Cloud steadily moved his gaze on the faintly lit town before them. He frowned, as though vaguely making mental notes of the place that had not changed at all since he last was there, and allowed his gaze to lull for a long moment. Cloud then took in a deep breath and spoke, indulging in a confession he had been withholding from Zack for quite some time.

„That time we went up the mountain... I’ve meant to repay you for your gesture for a while, but I couldn’t think of anything. And for that, I am sorry. I’m not just as creative as you are.”

Hearing Cloud speak with that forcefully composed tone both intrigued and troubled Zack. He could almost feel the disappointment Cloud harbored while still doing his best to cover it with his words.

„No need to apologize,” Zack pressed and leaned in towards him, „just being next to you is enough.”

„Until now,” Cloud resumed and pointed his hand at the sky above.

Zack blinked and redirected his eyes upward. His face turned instantly, and his mouth opened in awe. He jumped up and moved around a bit, unable to contain his excitement at the sight. The stars above were big and bright, glowing powerfully against the dark of the sky around them. Just like in Cloud’s case, where he couldn’t get enough of him, the majesty of the heavens always came to empower him with their infallible pursuit to conquer the vastness of space only to illuminate them night and night again.

Zack steadied himself on both his legs and took in a deep breath, as though preparing for some sort of ritual only he was familiar with. He then thrust his arm forward, and with an open hand towards the night sky, he focused his entire being in his palm. Quietly standing there, Zack invited their warmth to him and excitedly waited for its inevitable arrival. 

And although there was no denying the comfort that descended from the heavens, there was an unexpected warmth that came in the form of a pair of arms that slowly and steadily entwined themselves around his waist. Zack huffed in surprise and smiled as he welcomed the touch to envelop him wholly.

„Can you feel their warmth?” Cloud asked, resting his head against Zack’s sturdy back.

„I can,” Zack breathed. „But even from up here, they are still no match for you.”

Cloud loosened his hold as he felt Zack wanting to turn to him. And once he did, Zack was quick to cup his cheek, and Cloud nuzzled in its pleasant caress. 

„Back then... when you said it feels like it’s just the two of us in the whole world,” Zack confessed in a moment of utter defenselessness, the kind he had never felt before, so ravaging and sincere he was torn between sensations. „I wanted to kiss you so badly. There was one point where I felt like I would suffocate if I didn’t. But I couldn’t just do it...”

„Hey, you said it yourself. That was back then,” Cloud explained and pressed a hand against his, fastening Zack’s grip on his cheek. „What’s stopping you now?”

Zack fell silent and locked eyes with Cloud, admiring the taunting tone he used to lure the passion out of him. Cloud was so excited for greeting Zack’s lips that he held his breath for a long moment, quietly anticipating the kiss’ arrival. He even pushed himself forward, recognizing that had been something he wanted to do since they hopped in the truck together that morning. But now that it was finally happening, it felt so surreal, in a way, Cloud feared it might all be a dream. 

And he didn’t want that to be the case. So he needed to take note of Zack’s presence. Cloud forced himself to feel Zack in front of him, all of him, recognize that he was his, and that their connection was as real as the light that was cascading over them from the illustrious sky above. As for their kiss, it was steadily taking shape. 

Slowly. 

Tortuously so. 

But that had to have been because Cloud was yearning for it too much. And yet it was coming. Cloud could feel it—he could _almost_ taste it—as he closed his eyes with eager anticipation to receive it and everything that came with it.

„Oh,” Zack said and retreated.

Cloud remained still, utterly trapped in-between moments. Sensing the cold distance that suddenly appeared between them, he opened his eyes only to observe Zack lost in his mind, patting various parts of his shirt. Zack would often groan displeased as he proceeded to check another pocket, for whatever reason, seemingly unrelenting in his search.

„What are you doing?” Cloud asked, an undismissable irritation lining his words.

„Hold on, I know I have it here somewhere...” Zack explained and began looking through his trouser pockets. „Ah, of course, I put it here so I wouldn’t forget about it, but I ended up forgetting anyway,” he chuckled clumsily. „My bad.”

„The worst,” Cloud muttered and shook his head, apparently keeping track of all of Zack’s moments of fleeting attention span.

Although bothered, Cloud couldn’t help but be curious as to the reason behind Zack’s inattention. Cloud kept a close eye on him, and it wasn’t until Zack pulled out a dark blue box that he narrowed his eyes, trying not to give any emotions away. 

„For you!” Zack announced with a broad grin. „I found this today in the market, and I knew I would’ve regretted it if I didn’t buy it. So I did.”

Cloud’s brows furrowed as he went to investigate the box in Zack’s palm. It wasn’t big. There were no intricate patterns on it, nor did it look like it was made out of any unique material. Up to a point, Cloud couldn’t figure out why Zack would want to offer him a plain old box.

„Well, go on, open it,” Zack insisted and pushed his hand forward. 

Cloud gasped, only then realizing his mistake. He reached forward and opened the box with slow movements, still none the wiser as to why Zack would offer him a gift. 

Watching closely, Zack was anticipating an expression of elation and pure joy from the blond. However, he was met with anything but that. Cloud’s expression was devoid of any emotion, so blank in fact that there was no chance he could dismiss it or the uneasiness it stirred in him.

„Studs,” Zack eventually brought himself to speak. „I thought they’d fit you well. But you know, if you don’t like them you don’t have to wear them I just thought that...”

„They are amazing,” he offered flatly.

„Are you sure?” Zack blinked and focused his gaze once Cloud lifted his head towards him. „I mean... It’s not like I’m going to be upset or anything if you don’t like them.”

„No, it’s not that,” Cloud muttered, and only then his voice beginning to come alive once more. „I just... don’t know what’s the proper way to react to this. I...I don’t usually receive gifts.”

Zack was taken aback by the confession. Exhaling, Zack took his time and watched Cloud watching the studs, enthralled by the way his brow furrowed, processing what he was witnessing and how he felt about receiving the present. But Cloud seemed actually happy, face bright, and posture confident. And after double-checking to ensure that was indeed the case, Zack allowed himself to partake in his joy. 

„Then let me spoil you more,” he finally allowed and wrapping his arms around his waist, pulled Cloud forward. 

Lowering himself, Zack firmly pressed his lips against Cloud’s. As if Zack wasn’t already dazed by the surge of emotions, the kiss came to take his excitement that much further. They had shared many kisses in the past, but that one was very different than the others they’ve experienced before. Because that time, both seemed just as eager to deepen their kisses, explore their affection, every movement, every touch quickly mirrored and amplified by the other. And in the frenzy of heat and desire, a scurry of emotions awakened inside Zack, shrouding his mind and tempting his lust. 

He became lost in Cloud, in his touch, his scent, taste, stirred by invisible shivers and unvoiced desires which were warming up his body, leaving him hotter than ever before. Wanting—no, _craving_ —more on a deeper level. More of Cloud. Of everything that Cloud had to offer. Zack didn’t know how to explain it, but whenever he was with Cloud, he didn’t want to. Explanations weren’t what he was seeking. Zack desired comfort, understanding and.... Cloud.

Zack opened his eyes, recognizing he had been hanging onto the only strand of rationality he had left. He barely pulled himself out from the ocean of desire and broke the stream of kisses, moving back a little to allow himself some room to breathe. 

Zack pressed his forehead against the blond’s and gritted his teeth, fighting off the temptation to lower himself towards his mouth once more. It was an arduous battle, one he was so tired of fighting, but he had to keep his mind steady. That was not the time nor the place for their passion to develop any further.

„We should head back,” Zack suggested between the deep breaths he took to calm himself. „Wouldn’t want the others to think we’re slacking.” 

Although dazed himself, Cloud understood that their borrowed time had been spent. He was complaint, knowing fully well that they hadn’t been keeping their eye on anything but each other for the past hour. Once he steadied his breath and strength returned to his legs, Cloud placed Zack’s gift in his satchel and then grabbed onto his helmet, looking to fasten it back on.

Zack audibly groaned at the gesture. Cloud was quick to turn to him, puzzled by what could’ve happened that came to bother him.

„You are cute when you blush,” Zack explained and pointed to his cheeks, grinning as he recalled how beautifully red they were glowing a moment ago. „Ah no, actually, you are cute all the t—”

„I’m going on ahead,” Cloud announced and rushed his step down the side of the hill.

Zack snorted, amused, in a way knowing Cloud would react that way. While he never meant to express his dissatisfaction out loud, that was the quickest excuse he found to cover his confusion towards Cloud’s preference to wearing the helmet. After shaking his head, Zack jumped forward, looking to catch up to Cloud, who was by that point almost at the foot of the hill.

* * * * *

Zack did his best to keep his eyes forward on the road, but at times he couldn’t help peer to his side to check on Cloud and, most importantly, on the posture he adopted while walking through the village of Nibelheim. Zack liked to image that Cloud was smiling, happy with himself that he had repaid Zack for his mountain grip, excited for the gift he received. Truthfully, Zack couldn’t think of a more beautiful sight.

As though Cloud could feel that Zack had been glancing at him, he did his best to readjust himself and tried to adopt a more rigid stance. Cloud wanted to be professional even if his heart was overflowing with emotion. They were nearing the inn, and the last thing he wanted was to give out the wrong impression, especially if he were to bump into Sephiroth.

„Ok, so... Sephiroth took one room, our other two colleagues took the other, and there’s only one more that’s still vacant,” Zack returned to Cloud and said after checking at the inn’s reception, playfully juggling a single key in the palm of his hand. 

„You meant to say that...” Cloud mumbled, and his shoulders stiffened.

„Roomies,” Zack winked and motioned with his head for Cloud to follow him upstairs.

* * * * *

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> A bit of a Cloud-centric chapter, but then again he has come a long way and I feel he has solidified his status to shine alongside our main star ☆.
> 
> In a way, I am so glad this is a Slow Burn piece because it gives me the chance to explore so much of their interactions. I hope you guys enjoy it as well!!
> 
> Also, I want to give a **MASSIVE** shout-out to _all of you lovely people_ who have been sticking with the story so far. You give me the drive to keep writing this and it's an absolute JOY to read your comments. Looking forward to seeing you for this one too~ 
> 
> Last but not least, I'm also on [Tumblr](https://www.tumblr.com/blog/nightyelfy) if you want to stop by and say hi or follow me for future updates and projects!


	8. Chapter 8

„Ok, are you ready?” Zack asked as energic as ever, keeping a steady hand on the back of Cloud’s shoulder.

„Not really...”

„Oh come on now, are you seriously afraid?”

„I’m not afraid,” Cloud offered, trying to find a more comfortable position on the edge of the bed, but Zack’s body was firm against his back.

„Then what? Do you think it’s going to hurt?”

„Well, that’s a given,” Cloud shrugged.

„Just an itsy-bitsy sting, and then it’s like it’s part of you.”

„You promise?”

„Have I ever lied to you?” Zack asked and playfully titled his head to catch Cloud’s expression.

However, the answer didn’t come as fast as Zack expected. Cloud stirred, taking his time in replying, as though scouring his mind, meticulously going through past conversations and gestures. Zack winced and then retreated with a click of the tongue.

„Rhetorical question. And of course, I haven’t.”

„You lied today,” Cloud rebuked promptly.

„I did?”

„Yeah, about the patrol. You didn’t need me to come with you.”

„Don't be so sure about that. You most certainly had to,” Zack hurried to add. „Can you imagine if I would’ve gotten lost out there?”

„In Nibelheim? Really?” Cloud wanted to turn to check on Zack’s eyes, but Zack’s unyielding grip on his shoulder was holding him in place.

„Hey, listen, you shouldn’t take any chances while on unknown territory.”

„Yeah, I suppose...” Cloud finally gave in, somewhat convinced, and paused for a moment. „Besides, I wanted to spend some time with you too.”

Zack chuckled, not even surprised anymore that Cloud had seen right through him. And to confirm his bold claim, Zack lowered himself to the base of Cloud’s neck, where he planted a soft kiss. Cloud shuddered under Zack’s hand, his skin quick to prickle, aroused by the delightful sensation.

„Alright then, tell me, are you ready?” Zack asked once more and stood upright behind Cloud. „My hand is going numb.”

„Ah, sure. Let’s get it over with.”

„Ok, here goes nothing.”

Cloud’s eyes widened as his breath clogged his throat. He wasn’t prepared to be met with those words, or rather, with how unconfident they sounded. 

„Wh-what? Nothing?! Zack, wai—”

The promised sting then followed. It was instant, sharp, and incredibly unpleasant as it traversed Cloud’s body and ended somewhere in his legs. And there certainly was some blood too. Cloud could feel it as his ear warmed up, and something began dripping down from it.

Having prepared for such an outcome, Zack fastened the wound with an excessive amount of tissues as well as gauze to clean it up. He wasn’t going to risk an infection. 

„And... it’s done!” he announced pridefully after fastening a stud into Cloud’s left ear lobe. „See, I told you that you could trust me.”

Cloud finally turned to him, a sneer on his face. But Zack was quick to offer his reassuring grin, and after pressing a hand on his back, he pushed Cloud in front of a nearby mirror. Lifting his eyes before it, Cloud blinked his scowl away and started tilting his head back and forward and to the side, suddenly curious to investigate all aspects of Zack’s work.

„I-I like it,” the blond eventually offered, whiffs of enthusiasm scattered in between words. „It’s really... cool.”

„I know, right?” Zack encouraged from behind him, smile wide and radiant.

„Thank you,” Cloud turned and said somewhat stiffly.

„Anything for you,” Zack offered earnestly, and as his gaze settled onto Cloud’s, he brought his hand up to brush the back of his fingers against Cloud’s warm cheek.

In a way, Zack was still surprised that Cloud had accepted his gift and even more so that he was eager to display the studs. But only one, he remembered Cloud insisting. Zack agreed without preamble, and the next thing he knew, he was offering to help Cloud out. And in wanting to celebrate the success of their most recent achievement, Zack then leaned down to kiss him. However, Cloud’s compliance only went so far. 

„I should take a shower,” he said, promptly darting his head to the side before their lips met.

„That’s not a bad idea at all,” Zack encouraged with a chuckle, nothing short of endeared that Cloud could be embarrassed towards his desire to show him his affection. „I wouldn’t mind one either.”

„The baths are downstairs,” Cloud explained and made his way towards the door of their room. „Nothing fancy, but the place has everything you might need. And the water is geothermally heated.”

Zack hummed, the prospects of a bath having never sounded so tempting before. He knew all too well where Cloud’s concerns lied, specifically that being part of the infantry meant that he didn’t always get the benefit of enjoying a warm shower, the hot water fast to run out when divided between so many people. 

„Sounds great!” Zack chirped and then jumped beside Cloud. „Should we get going then?”

Cloud froze, wide-eyed. „Together?”

„Yeah, why not?” Zack asked, scratching the back of his head. „I mean, don’t you shower together with other people back at base?”

„Well, yes, but... it’s different with you.”

„How so?” Zack pressed, an eyebrow raised. „Because I look at you in that way too?”

Cloud exhaled slowly and offered a couple of affirmative nods. Zack then took a moment to think and, despite his initial excitement, he recognized that he should allow Cloud some space too. He was very much aware of the fact that he could be overbearing, not to mention, his emotions have been all over the place. Perhaps tempering his enthusiasm might do both of them some good.

„Ok then, you can go on ahead. And I’ll take my turn once you are done,” he allowed, swallowing his faint disappointment and, at the same time, proud of himself for being so mindful despite his growing desires.

„Ah, no, I want you to come with me.” 

Zack’s eyes widened, and a firey glow began outlining them as soon as Cloud glanced his way. 

„Just let me get in the bath first.”

Despite his initial reservations, Cloud seemed to have pushed himself past the restrictions he imposed on himself. In doing so, Zack came to believe that Cloud had grown more comfortable with having him by his side. And maybe at that point, even Cloud was interested to further develop their budding relationship. Zack gulped at the implications of such an endeavor. 

„No weird glances, though.”

Ever since Zack first his eyes upon him, the blond had always been good at intriguing and drawing all sorts of emotions out of him. But straightforward Cloud was downright exciting, a bit too skillful at getting his blood rushing.

„Ye-yeah,” Zack finally agreed. „You got it.”

* * * * *

The common bathroom was spacious, and although not luxurious, there was something beautiful about it in how clean and peaceful it was. Cloud kept nudging Zack in an effort to make him stop gawking, but his excitement was unrelenting. Even more so than that, the thought that he would shortly be taking a bath alongside Cloud made him feel delightfully fuzzy-headed, and they hadn’t yet reached the steam room.

Once in the dressing room, Cloud began to meticulously take off his clothes and fold them before placing them inside a wooden cabinet. Next to him, Zack wasn’t as neat or as organized, but that was mostly because he found it hard to focus. However, there was a part of Zack that wanted to imitate Cloud’s diligence, which was rather fascinating in it of itself. At least, that way, it would keep him distracted from the fact that Cloud was steadily bearing fewer and fewer clothes all the while pretending not to be too bothered by Zack’s giddy presence and his fugitive eyes. 

Unable to decide what was the best order for his actions—taking his clothes off all at once, or folding as he was undressing—Zack felt lost. Nothing really made sense in his mind anymore, because, at that point, beside him, the blond was no longer wearing any clothes. He was fully and wholly naked.

Zack’s heartbeat was turning him into a lustful mess, but he held himself steady, employing all the composure he could summon to keep himself from shifting his eyes to the side. He promised he wouldn’t peek, and that’s what he will do, no matter what. Zack then audibly swallowed, and Cloud fastened a towel around his waist.

„Shower before getting into the bath,” Cloud advised and went on ahead.

„Of-of course will do.”

Zack drew a deep, long breath, and only when he wanted to move did he recognize how shaky his knees were. Somehow, all of Cloud’s nerves had been transported to him, but instead of being intimidated by the overabundance of emotions, Zack found it exciting. The entire venture felt risky, intense, like something he had never experienced before. And the best part was that it all revolved around Cloud.

Zack almost didn’t recognize himself when so scattered, and that wasn’t the only instance he noticed it. However, it was the first time that he felt temptation so close to his heart, and he found it unbearably impossible to contain it. And what was most rousing was the thought that Zack wasn’t the only one who shared that level of temptation and, in the same measure, the curiosity to see where it would lead if encouraged. 

Zack impatiently removed the last article of clothing he had on, and after grabbing a towel from a nearby basket, he followed in Cloud’s footsteps. He showered quickly, so lost in his thoughts that he didn’t notice if the water was too hot or freezing cold, but it didn’t really matter. He merely wanted to get it over and done with so that he could join the blond in the other room where the famed bath awaited.

His hand was on the door, ready to push when the thought of covering himself up popped in Zack’s mind. Although he felt comfortable, Cloud seemed to value decency, and impressing him was undoubtedly something Zack wanted to do even when it came to something as trivial as that. Also, because he was sure he’d most certainly fluster him too much if he were to show up with his entire body on display. 

It was warm inside the compact bathhouse and incredibly soothing because of the hot steam, the sound of the steadily dripping water, the only one daring to disturb the mesmerizing serenity of the place. Cloud was already in the steaming basin, lounging lazily with his back against one of the edges, elbows fastened behind him for support. Although pressed in between a few too many thoughts, Zack felt at ease once he noticed that they were the only ones there.

With his focus locked entirely on him, Zack smiled and approached. He passed by Cloud and moved a bit further away, towards the other side of the basin. 

After taking a deep breath, as though to steady himself, Zack removed the towel from around his waist and then hopped into the water, somewhere at a respectful distance from Cloud. Exhaling slowly, he shortly found himself relaxing under the soothing embrace of the hot water before finding a comfortable spot to sprawl across.

„This place is amazing,” Zack said, stretching his arms along the edge of the basin. „Why haven’t we come here before again?”

„This isn't a vacation,” Cloud reprimanded from the side.

„I haven’t forgotten,” Zack huffed, dejected as he forced himself in the present. „Well, maybe after all this is over, we should go on a trip somewhere.”

„A trip... is that where your mind’s at?”

„Yeah. I mean, we’re not really on duty at the moment, so why not?”

Cloud gave a brief shrug in reply, a gesture that Zack caught with the corner of his eyes as he dared to bring his head slightly upward. Seeing as the blond was still trying to adjust to having him alongside him inside the bath, Zack thought a distraction was in order, and so he pushed the conversation forward.

„Tomorrow, we’ll be heading to the reactor to investigate the disturbance Sephiroth mentioned. If we’re lucky, we might even fill in some of this messed up puzzle’s missing pieces.”

„And if we’re not?” Cloud asked wearily.

„Then, the investigation continues,” Zack reassured, his confidence always quick to come out. „Regardless, we’ll be one step closer to figuring things out. And one step closer to our vacation.”

„Such a hopeless optimist,” Cloud concluded with a sigh.

„That may be the case, but you like that about me,” Zack said and brought his head up slightly once more so that he would catch Cloud’s expression.

„Yeah,” he allowed. „I suppose I like that too.”

„Ha, I knew it,” Zack cheered as he leaned back against the wall.

As their conversation lulled, a tense silence began settling in between them as the hot steam relaxed Zack and made him more aware of his situation. Taking some time to order his thoughts, Zack recognized that he might’ve made a bad habit out of getting a bit too carried away. While the mission was incredibly important to him, and in the same measure, to his colleagues, his heart was quick to take over him and always redirect him towards the beautiful blond. 

Thinking back at it, having Cloud beside him for the mission might’ve sounded like a good idea at first, but after acknowledging how easily influenced Zack was by him, perhaps that wasn’t the best time for them to be in each other’s company for too long. 

The last thing Zack wanted to do was to give Cloud any reasons to worry, but concurrently, he didn’t wish to seem disloyal towards his duty either. So maybe he should address his dilemma rather than have it eat away at him. Put everything on the table to discourage any misunderstandings and also leave enough room between them so that when they get back to the barracks, they can resume their relationship from where they left off.

„Hey, Cloud...”

„Where would we even go?” 

Zack was caught with his lips parted staring at Cloud, the blond’s question colliding violently against his initial intentions. The battle seemed fierce at first, Zack’s stubbornness and sense of duty unrelenting in the face of such mundane temptations. 

And yet, Cloud kept winning over him as though Zack had barely put up a fight in the first place. Zack blinked repeatedly and then stood upright, trying to decipher between the remnants of intentions left standing in the aftermath of the clash that took place inside his mind. He felt incredibly foolish, torn because he knew all too well how much his heart ached whenever he saw Cloud distancing himself from him. And now that he finally had the blond by his side, Zack wasn’t willing to let go of him so easily. So in that regard, perhaps he should heed the advice that had been given to him—take advantage of every free moment he had and spend it with his lover. 

„Wherever you want,” Zack offered sincerely, his gaze then relaxing as he focused on admiring Cloud’s gorgeous features. „Just point anywhere on a map, and I’ll take us there.”

Thoroughly dumbfounded, Zack was having a difficult time accepting that his suggestion was still alive in Cloud’s mind, that the blond actually considered it even if only briefly. In the end, it would seem that Cloud wasn’t the only one who made a habit out of being hard on himself—with what he wanted to do and express. Zack was like that too. Most of their rigid behavior was, however, due to the intense regime that they were obliged to follow as faithful dogs of the military. And not necessarily because that was the proper way to act.

„What? On your bike?” Cloud scoffed, forgetting for a moment who he was talking to.

„Or we could walk,” Zack snickered. „However, I noticed that your motion sickness is more lenient when you have me by your side. So maybe a motorbike would be a better choice. We’d get there faster for sure.”

Cloud listened to him, mouth slightly ajar because Zack was certainly onto something. Both during their trip up the mountain as well as during the journey to Nibelheim, there were no moments when his stomach felt like it was about to topple over or his head spinning out of control. And the common factor during both those trips had indeed been Zack. So perhaps concluding that Zack had that kind of calming effect on his mind and body didn’t sound so far fetched at that point.

„What about Gongaga?”

„Seriously?!” Zack shook his head in disbelief. „You want to go to Gongaga?”

Cloud held his tongue for a long moment only to then look at Zack and say somewhat impulsively. „Was it wrong of me to suggest that?”

„No, of course not. That’s actually pretty amazing...”

„You see, I was thinking that you, me, and Sephiroth would have a blast at your parents’ house.”

Zack’s eyebrows shot upward, and he briefly floundered in the water as though he lost his sense of balance for a split second. He rushed to readjust himself and was about to open his mouth to rebuke when he felt his heart stammering. Before his very eyes, barely an arm’s length away from him, Cloud was... 

Laughing. 

A laugh so joyful and unburdened and pure, Zack felt he might’ve been hallucinating. It lasted no more than a couple of sweet, sweet moments, but Zack focused every bit of him on taking it in. So that he could record it and everything around it because it was too pure to let slip by unadmired.

The gesture had caught him unprepared, there was no hiding that. Still wide-eyed, Zack found himself doubting if he had ever felt real happiness before. Up until that point, Zack was sure he had. But after seeing Cloud’s face so bright and full of laughter, he understood he needed to take some time and weight a lot of things he once thought he was sure of. 

„Oh, I see, so that was your intention from the very beginning,” Zack eventually brought himself to say and chuckled as well, utterly powerless to resist Cloud’s dazzling glow. „You are good, you know that? You almost had me there.”

„No, that wasn’t entirely my intention,” Cloud tilted his head to the side, delicate remainders of a smile on his lips. „I really do want to go to Gongaga with you.”

„And... with Sephiroth?” Zack asked between his teeth, jealousy quick to tug at his heartstrings.

„No,” Cloud commented. „Just the two of us is fine.”

„It sure is,” he breathed relieved and leaned back on the basin’s wall, looking to relax. „No doubt, my dad will adore you and my mom...” Zack said and then pondered his words for a long moment, but his lips were fast to draw a smile. „She will want to swap me for you as her son in a blink of an eye. I can already see it... by the time dinner’s over, you will already be part of the family.”

He closed his eyes, the image vividly taking shape behind his eyelids. And Zack loved what he was seeing, his cheeks starting to hurt because of how much he had been keeping his smile full and satisfied. There was no denying the incredible energy Cloud was giving him. How much he was motivating him, energizing him, inspiring him to strive to better himself and above everything else, for the happiness that he ignited in his chest.

„I’ve been thinking and listen, I know I can be selfish sometimes. And because of that, there’s this thing that’s been eating away at me. So let me say that I regret not telling you this sooner, but...” Zack blurted out in a moment of crushing yet soothing honesty. „I like you, Cloud... I like you so, so much,” he followed, and standing upright, he rubbed his face with his palms as though embarrassment had finally reached him, which was a rare experience in it of itself. 

„Ah,” he gasped, his brows furrowing pensively. „Where did that come from?”

„My heart,” Zack confessed promptly, as though answering to a superior. „Please believe that what I’m saying is true.”

„Yeah, well, I haven’t forgotten.”

„You... haven’t?” Zack tilted his head, faint traces of confusion in his voice. „Oh, you meant that... You heard me the other night!?”

„It wasn’t like you allowed me to sleep as much as you think.”

„Right, I’m sorry about that,” he muttered, suddenly feeling clumsy. „I couldn’t help it, you were too cute.”

The words were barely out when Zack felt his body stiffening defensively. Cloud had fixated him with his gaze and approached him, letting loose an intriguing shine to his mesmerizingly blue eyes. 

The blond narrowed his eyes as he stopped before him, and Zack perked up, suddenly was aware of his own pulse. He then got to discern that behind the pristine gaze, there was a fire inside of Cloud that was daringly considering something as dangerous as it was exciting. 

„You’re not too bad yourself, you know,” Cloud said and ran a hand over his chest until it scratched the surface of his toned abs.

With calculated steps, Cloud then got out from the bath, leaving Zack feeling dazed, like he might faint if he didn’t force a couple of seriously deep breaths. Not only had all the air in his lungs left him, but he got to see so many parts of Cloud’s body that he fought so hard not to fantasize about before, that Zack suddenly got the impulse to pinch himself, in an effort to verify if what he had experienced had been a dream. 

As soon as he heard the door to the bath opening and closing, Zack jumped out of the bath, his step unusually clumsy. He got excited again. His skin was on fire from where Cloud touched him before. As for that look in Cloud’s eyes just before he left—it was almost like... he was luring him. And while Zack couldn’t be entirely sure if Cloud wanted him to follow, it wasn’t like he was willing to miss out on the chance either. 

Getting dressed felt like a chore, and he didn’t even bother to dry himself out properly or put on his shoes. His mind was bombarding him with too many perceptions and interpretations for Zack to make sense of any of it. 

As he was making his way upstairs, Zack noted how insanely quiet the inn was at that late hour in the night, the floorboards squeaking and creaking with every move he made. Being stuck at the barracks for so long had indeed made him forget about the so many little details and beautiful intricacies that lied beyond the cold metallic labyrinth. No wonder he had moments when he felt so disconnected from the world. Since the last thing he wanted being to cause a commotion, Zack forced himself to adopt a stealthier approach. 

Although quieter and indeed more careful, it wasn’t until Zack passed Sephiroth’s room that a curiosity struck him. For whatever reason, he stopped for a moment, his eyes scanning over it as though able to reveal a secret if he tried hard enough. Unable to find anything at first glance, Zack then leaned in towards the door and steadied his heartbeat. 

But no matter how much he focused, he couldn’t make out anything but absolute silence. Either Sephiroth was indeed a sound sleeper or... he just wasn’t there. For a short moment, Zack felt tempted to knock at his door and check upon him. However, he knew Sephiroth to be a person of extreme privacy and didn’t feel like it was his place to intervene or intrude, for that matter. Especially since Sephiroth might be inclined to believe that Zack was beginning to interpret their venture in the mountains as a vacation. And considering how quick he was reprimanded by Sephiroth during his mission in Junon, Zack was forced to reconsider, in the end, abandoning the thought altogether. 

Zack made his way to the end of the hallway, where the room he shared with Cloud was located. He closed the door behind him, and while he tried his best to be careful, it still murmured a shallow creek as it fastened against its frame. Clicking his tongue, Zack turned around and shrugged briefly when the blond turned to him. 

„Is everything alright?”

Cloud was sitting on the edge of the bed, a towel draped over the crown of his head, struggling to dry his hair when Zack shot him a grin.

„Oh, I’ve seen this somewhere before.”

„Very funny,” Cloud replied and gave his hair one more rub-down before deciding he was satisfied with it.

Zack took his time as he made his way to the bed opposite Cloud’s. He huffed out a laugh, noticing how persistently the blond was keeping his eyes on him. And seeing as how Cloud was too tactful to explain himself, Zack allowed the stares to persist between them. However, what he didn’t account for was that the longer they lingered, the more Zack felt his composure wavering. 

Still curious as to the nature behind Cloud’s look from earlier, Zack decided to test his suspicions and sat down the edge of his bed, right in front of the blond. With a wide, pleading look in his eyes, he then motioned for Cloud to approach by patting the spot next to him a couple of times. 

Cloud bit his lip but accepted the unvoiced invitation. He stood up, and after crossing the distance between them with one precise skip, Cloud stopped before Zack. 

Keeping his eyes on him, as though not to miss a single gesture, Zack was anticipating that Cloud would sit next to him just as he had been doing at their spot in the upper levels of the Shinra barracks. However, that wasn’t anywhere in Cloud’s intentions. 

Tapping into his boldness, Cloud climbed on the bed and steadily placed himself on Zack’s lap, straddling his thighs. Whether from nerves or embarrassment or a mix of both, Cloud then saw himself a bit lost as he didn’t know what to do with his hands, so he squeezed them into fists and allowed them to dangle freely around his stiff body. 

„Yeah, you are right, this spot is better,” Zack spoke playfully, looking to distract him from his nerves and wrapped his long fingers around his hands, squeezing gently onto them until Cloud released his fists. „Hello, there, blondie.”

„Hey,” Cloud mumbled, hiding his flustered expression in the way Zack was caressing his left hand, his thumb gently rubbing the place where his wound had healed but left behind a nasty scar.

„Your ears are red,” Zack murmured and steadily brought Cloud’s hands up to his shoulders. „Don’t tell me you just now got embarrassed.”

„It’s because of the bath... it was really warm in there,” Cloud’s voice quivered as his heart pounded so hard in his chest, Zack could hear it.

„Are you sure that’s the reason?” Zack asked and leaned in towards him, brushing his lips against the surface of Cloud’s heated cheeks.

The tantalizing touch had an immediate effect because Zack could feel how Cloud squeezed onto the fabric of his shirt around his shoulders, where he had left Cloud’s hands. 

„Yeah.”

„Are you super sure?” Zack insisted and lowered his hands onto Cloud’s legs and pressed them on the spots above his knees, extending his fingers, eager to encompass them.

„Zack.”

„What is it?” he perked up and moved his head slightly to meet the blond’s gaze.

„Shut up.”

Cloud fastened his hold on Zack’s shirt and pulled him into a kiss that left him breathless for an incredibly long moment. But Zack adored it, never even considering that not being able to breathe could excite him in such a staggering manner. He smiled against Cloud’s lips, urging the blond to pursue that line of thinking, and allow his feelings to guide him to wherever he wanted to go. 

Zack was more than willing to take the trip with him—regardless of time and space—and, as such, began tracing his palms against Cloud’s thighs. Steadily moving upward, Zack made sure to pat each part and muscle, as though mapping it in his mind and at the same time getting lost in the pleasant sensation that was coming from Cloud as he was teasingly nipping and licking at his lips. 

Feeling Cloud’s fervor to deepen his kisses, Zack parted his lips, allowing him inside his mouth. That was when he could finally taste him, so much of him because, between nerves and hesitation, there was also warmth and a lot of sweetness. As for that fire that Zack had detected earlier in him, it was still there, animating the blond, pushing him to let himself go and get lost in that moment together with Zack. But regardless of how much he wanted, Cloud still found it challenging to surrender before his wants. 

„Hey, hey, it’s ok. Look at me, I’m here with you... and you’re here with me. We’re the only ones in the world.”

And after having said that, Zack came in with a kiss to confirm to Cloud that whatever he was thinking was perfectly fine. Even more so than that, it was reciprocated. Zack then brought his hands up to Cloud’s hips and pulled him closer to his chest, the distance between them having been entirely vanquished. 

Cloud gasped in Zack’s mouth when their bodies met, and that was when Zack broke their kiss and redirected his lips onto Cloud’s heated neck. Zack breathed him in and diligently scattered wet kisses along the sides of his neck, holding the blond firmly in place in his lap, the arousal flaring up in his stomach every time he felt Cloud twitching against his body. 

„Mmm, Zack...” 

There it was again. That moan. That perfectly melodious and enticing sound that Cloud had made that time right before he up and left Zack alone at the benches. But that wasn’t going to happen again. Because Zack will keep him at his chest, he will treasure and protect him with everything he had. And in a wild desire to prove that to him, Zack tore himself away from his neck, suddenly feeling his lips cold and yearning for Cloud’s touch. 

He hastily nudged Cloud into a kiss, one that he would entirely dictate. Zack pressed his tongue over Cloud’s, the sudden shock brought by Cloud’s pliant behavior rendering him a complete and utter boiling mess of heat and desire. Shortly, all thoughts of restraints disappeared from his mind as though they were never there. Especially when he felt Cloud willingly moving closer, rubbing himself against his stomach and chest as though trying to convey something. An ardent wish. A lustful desire, perhaps. 

„What do you want to do?” Zack asked and redirected his kisses to the corner of Cloud’s mouth. 

As Zack brought his hands down to Cloud’s sides once more, Cloud traced his fingers through Zack’s hair, pulling and holding tightly, as though pleading that Zack would just read his mind so that he wouldn’t have to speak it out loud.

„Please tell me...” Zack pressed, his breath hot and heavy as it reached Cloud’s ear.

Cloud shivered when he felt Zack’s lips around his ear, gently nibbling at the edges, dragging his hot, wet tongue on the ridges. His knees eventually buckled, and afterward, a deep, throaty moan escaped Cloud to which Zack closed his eyes as though to allow its sound to reverberate throughout his entire body and flame his passion.

„Anything,” Cloud whimpered as Zack’s hand began wandering on his back, the traces left behind by his palm hot and pleasant against his skin.

„Hmm, anything?” 

Resting one hand firmly on the small of his back, Zack hovered the other over Cloud’s stomach. He began inching it down slowly, teasingly towards his navel as he dared to flirt with a bold idea. 

„You can say no if you don’t want this,” Zack said, dragging his tongue across Cloud’s lips, his labored breath billowing against his chin.

„It-it’s fine. I want you... to touch me,” Cloud pleaded against his lips, face flushed with heat and eyes inundated by a delightful haze.

Cloud draped his arms around his neck as Zack carefully worked his way around the waistband of his pants. He could feel an incredible amount of heat coming from there, and with wary movements, he reached his fingers downward until he touched Cloud. The blond gasped at the sudden contact, and Zack felt like he was about to turn, barely clinging onto the last pieces of restraint in his mind. 

„Are you sure?” 

„Ye-yes,” Cloud offered and lowered one hand down over Zack’s chest, brushing past his abs until it reached the waist of his pants. „But only if we do it together.” 

There was a long pause between them as Cloud struggled to make the necessary connections in his head. Playing back his words, listening to what he had just said as though in a loop, made him increasingly flustered. Because while Cloud was tense and nervous, he was also curious and aroused. And that time around, he didn’t want to break away from Zack.

„Hold on,” Zack snapped him out of his mind and, with a swift move, grabbed his shirt by the hem and flicked it over his head, finally throwing it on the bedpost. 

Cloud stared at his bare chest for a long moment, taking in all of Zack’s rugged features from up close. Zack’s intention had been from the start to ease some of his embarrassment, not to mention he did notice the way Cloud kept stealing glances at him in the bath. It was clear he enjoyed watching him, and because of that, he didn’t want to miss the opportunity to give Cloud precisely what he wanted.

„Ok, you were saying?”

„I wasn’t saying anything,” Cloud murmured, insanely excited as his hand shivered over the edge of Zack’s pants.

„Well then, can I say something?” Zack whispered against his lips and grabbing his hand, redirected it over his crotch, which was already aroused, ready to welcome his touch.

„No,” Cloud swallowed and under Zack’s guidance, daringly continued his venture.

The sensation was as weird as it was exciting, but Cloud pressed on willing to inscribe every detail of Zack’s shape into his mind. His was hot and hard, and every meek touch sent shivers of pleasure across Zack’s body, him having to grit his teeth now and again to prevent his rationality from staggering under Cloud’s tenacious caress.

Zack licked his lips and then squeezed their hands together. He looped his fingers around them, and the embrace felt good, insanely so, pressing both of them just right. The sudden and overwhelming shock of heat and force left Cloud gasping for air, but Zack was there to swallow all his moans and cries of pleasure and placed his lips around Cloud’s. 

Their lips met again, and again, as their kisses became sloppier and rushed, the tighter Zack ground them together. Zack’s hand roamed up and down across their lengths, and Cloud felt himself getting harder, aching for more, rutting his hips up to feel the full intensity of Zack’s diligence. Seeing Cloud utterly engrossed in their intimacy, Zack thurst his free hand past the side of Cloud’s body and moved it below his back. It wasn’t until Zack cupped and squeezed his behind in one fell and unexpected swoop that Cloud shuddered uncontrollably.

„Does it feel good?” Zack barely asked, his heart in his throat.

„Yeah... please don’t stop.”

Cloud pushed himself forward and leaned over Zack’s body. He dug his fingers in Zack’s back, to which Zack replied with a rapid and lustful exhale. There was something about Cloud’s reckless gestures that coaxed him more than even he expected. 

„Zack... I’m almost...”

„It’s ok, you can come,” he reassured and nudged him with his forehead. „Just, please, let me see your face.” 

Cloud was unquestionably lost in the moment as he arched his back when pleasure steadily reached its peak inside of him. His whole body twitched with every exhale, and his arms steadily wavered around Zack’s neck. Under the rhythm of Cloud’s staggered breath and his sweetly lost gaze, Zack groaned from his throat as elation blurred into an overwhelming sensation, and his body surrendered to the pleasure, everything around him becoming a blur of white noise.

With the haze still faintly tinting his eyes, Cloud lifted his head and turned to check on Zack. He noticed the smile hiding at the corner of his lips, and his heart reacted. Wishing to have a taste of that joy, Cloud brought his lips up to Zack’s mouth. He kissed him lightly, taking his time to appreciate the way his lips felt, slowly taking in their flavor. And for that long moment, he could swear Zack tasted sweeter. 

„That was amazing,” Zack confessed with a relieved chuckle. „You are amazing,” he added and kissed Cloud back and then lifted his eyes to his flushed face. „Are you ok?”

„Yeah,” Cloud panted, his heart still thumping strenuously. „Again?”

„Of course, as many times as you want,” he allowed fondly and pressed a couple of kisses on the corner of his mouth. „But not tonight. We’re not on vacation yet, and we have to stay sober to see this mission through.”

Cloud rested his forehead on Zack’s shoulder until energy finally came back to him. He reached out for the towel he knew he threw somewhere nearby. He patted the bed until he found it, and after grabbing it, he brought it forth to clean them up. It was then that Cloud noticed that maybe taking his shirt off as well wouldn’t have been a bad idea. Because now it was covered in a few too many stains that he could never bring himself to explain. Cloud’s embarrassment was quick to resurface, but he bit his tongue as he chose to focus on wiping off both him and Zack of the aftermath of their intimacy.

Zack thanked him for his hard work with another kiss and shimmied his pants back on. Cloud wobbled slightly on his feet as he got up, but was quick to readjust himself when he went in search for some clean clothes. 

„Think you’ll be able to sleep now?” Cloud asked and took off his soiled shirt.

„Like a log,” Zack replied and threw himself on the bed behind him. „But only if you come here too.”

Cloud peered over his shoulder. „Seriously?”

„I wouldn’t have it any other way,” Zack muttered through half-opened eyelids, the expression on his face nothing short of relaxed and gruntled. 

Cloud exhaled quietly. He shook his head, chasing away any second-thoughts, recognizing that deep down, he also wanted to be next to Zack. After fastening a long-sleeved shirt on, Cloud approached Zack’s bed, each footstep echoing rhythmically across the room.

„We won’t fit together on this bed,” Cloud observed warily after he stopped beside it.

„Is my butt too big?”

„Not as big as your head.” 

Zack huffed out a laugh and grabbed Cloud’s wrist. „Just lie down already. You’re going to need to sleep on your side anyway.”

„What? Why?”

„So, that you don’t hurt your left ear. It’s going to need some time to heal.”

„But then...”

„Yep, you are gonna be the little spoon,” Zack scooted to the side and narrowed his eyes at him. „My little spoon.”

Cloud clicked his tongue but whipped around before Zack could catch the redness in his cheeks. 

„See, now isn’t this just a perfect fit?” Zack spoke dearly and pushed himself forward so that he could kiss Cloud on his cheek. „Sleep well.”

Zack reached out with his arm and grabbed Cloud’s hand. He intertwined their fingers together as he fastened himself against Cloud’s back. 

Suddenly Cloud felt so much warmth coming from all around him, he had a flashback from his time at the baths downstairs. But although similar, there was more to this particular type of warmth. It emanated out of Zack’s sturdy body, and along with the heat, there was a lot of comfort too. Not to mention that Cloud felt safer there, at that moment together with Zack, than he ever had at the Shinra barracks.

„Goodnight.” 

Cloud’s voice traveled the room, its endearing softness being exactly what Zack needed to welcome sleep’s sweet embrace.

* * * * *

„Downstairs in five.”

Sephiroth’s voice cut through the air like his blade Masamune, leaving behind a sinking feeling as well as a lot of cold, dry air. There was no need for a knock on their door after the order was given because Zack’s eyes were already open. He jolted away as soon as he sensed Sephiroth approaching from the other side of the hallway.

Zack shifted the weight of his body and removed his arm from over Cloud. Sensing the sudden movement, Cloud woke up as well and turned on his back to get a better look at the man by his side.

„Are you ok?” Cloud pressed, his eyes scanning Zack’s face, slightly troubled as to the sudden change to the air around him.

„Yeah,” he replied sharply, fighting a frown.

„Maybe they should change the alarm with Sephiroth’s voice back at base.”

„Huh?” Zack turned to him.

„He has a weird effect on you,” Cloud finally offered and pushed himself up from the bed. 

„In what way?” 

Cloud took his time in answering as he began getting dressed at the other side of the room. „Motivates you as well as... puts this odd pressure on you.”

Zack groaned as he got up from the bed to get dressed. Although slightly bothered, there was no mistaking that there might’ve been some truth behind Cloud’s words. But then again, he had no idea that the hollowness he felt inside whenever near Sephiroth would be so obviously displayed on his face. After careful considering, Zack felt a bit ashamed that Cloud caught up with that undefined pressure inside of him.

They got dressed in silence, and it wasn’t until the Buster Sword was on Zack’s back, and Cloud had his helmet in his hands that they finally faced each other.

„Zack,” Cloud suddenly called to catch his attention just as they were about to head out the room. „Does he scare you?”

„Sephiroth?” Zack swallowed. „No, of course not. He’s like...” 

Zack rolled his eyes and used the little time he was given to gather his thoughts, but for whatever reason, the words were evading him entirely. 

„Huh...” he stopped as though struck by a somber realization, „I suppose, in many ways, he’s still my hero.”

Cloud gasped faintly and leveled him with a glance. Zack’s confession took him aback as he was probably ready to hear everything but that.

„That’s fine. It means you are going to do a good job today out there,” Cloud allowed with a tender smile, willing to pull through anything if it meant dispersing the unpleasant aura that had forced itself upon them.

Cloud saw the light reignite around Zack’s eyes, and he chose to take comfort in that. It wasn’t so much that he was expecting something in particular from Zack that morning because they had already done a lot the night before. Not to mention that he slept in his arms for the second night in a row. So maybe it was selfish of Cloud to even think of demanding more. 

Knowing that once out the door, their mission would be the only thing on their minds, Cloud struggled to push himself over his desires and instead focus on his sense of duty. Because he knew Zack would. And without a doubt, Sephiroth would just as well.

„Yeah,” Zack agreed, his expression suddenly appearing a lot calmer. „ _We_ certainly are.”

Zack was with his hand on the door handle when instead of clinking it open, he lowered himself to Cloud’s lips. He gently massaged Cloud’s lips with his own and even whined before forcing himself away, regretful as though knowing that it will be a while until he would get to taste them again. 

„For good luck,” he winked and opened the door. 

„So unfair,” Cloud murmured and put on his helmet quickly, mostly so that he could hide his red cheeks.

Zack cheerfully led the way outside the inn, Cloud following at a respectful distance behind him. They met up with Sephiroth and the other two infantrymen right in front of the inn. Zack then took the time to greet everybody warmly, at the same time, looking to encourage them for their mission ahead. And be it his way of speaking or his inherently cheerful aura, the men quickly appeared to be in better spirits.

Urged by the pressure of time, Sephiroth then stepped between them, precious orders awaiting to be distributed to all those present. He somberly instructed that while the other two infantrymen will be stationed at the outer limits of the town, he, Zack, and Cloud will make the trip up the mountain and investigate the disturbance at the Mako Reactor. 

They all acknowledged their orders, and after making sense of how crucial it was for everybody to remain alert at all times, Zack clenched his fists in excitement. He turned towards the mountain that sheltered the mako reactor, every fiber in his body urging him to start the march. He was about to hop forward when he caught something misplaced with the corner of his eyes.

Zack peered over his shoulder, looking to catch the direction of Sephiroth’s gaze. He then took a moment and, after narrowing his eyes, noticed another person making their way towards their small group. 

„You!” Zack jumped impulsively. „The girl from yesterday! You were the one following me while I was patrolling in town.”

The girl flinched and stopped in her tracks. „Ah, damn, so you did see me in the end.”

„Of course, I did. Don’t feel bad though, your instincts are good, but... mine are better,” Zack smirked.

The girl frowned and crossed her arms on her chest. Dismissing Zack’s words, she then glanced at the people around him. Regardless of her curiosity to take in as much as she could, her eyes never moved past Sephiroth.

„Zack, this is Tifa Lockhart,” he proceeded to say, his gaze switching between the two. „I ran into her the other day, and she offered to be our guide to the reactor.”

„Our guide? Well, that’s great and all but, won’t that be dangerous?” Zack rubbed the back of his neck. „I mean, if it were up to me, I’d never involve her in something so risky,” he offered and then turned to Tifa.

„That’s why we’re here,” Sephiroth explained, affecting a politely bland tone. „She will point the way, and we will do the rest.”

„Right,” Zack eventually allowed and forced himself to accept Sephiroth’s decision. „It’s great to meet you, Tifa. I am Zack Fair,” he snickered, but she seemed unimpressed with him. „First Class SOLDIER that is,” he then was quick to add.

„So both you and Sephiroth are First Class SOLDIERs,” the girl said somewhat hesitantly. „Is there anybody else like that in the military?”

„Not currently, no,” Zack replied, and because she suddenly looked so disheartened, he felt the need to add. „But that’s only because we are the absolute best.”

„I see,” Tifa murmured and darted her eyes away as though trying to make peace with her thoughts. „Well... we shouldn’t waste any more time. We have a long way ahead of us.”

The walk towards the reactor wasn’t as straightforward as Zack thought it would be. From afar, the reactor’s location looked rather easily accessible, but that couldn’t have been farther from the truth. Not only was the reactor atop a mountain, but the area around it was unstable, plagued with all sorts of perils, both visible and harder to spot. 

There was a side of him that still confounded when Sephiroth introduced them to the local girl Tifa. The entire time, Zack had thought that the reason they brought Cloud along to Nibelheim was that he could be their guide, but perhaps that was only for the town’s vicinity. 

As for the area around the reactor, it quickly was made evident that they needed somebody familiar with the terrain modifications. The landscape leading to the reactor seemed to be prone to various shifts because of some tectonic activity and thus had seen a lot of change in recent years. The last thing they wanted was to be trapped atop the mountain or suffer various injuries because they hadn’t taken sufficient precautionary measures. But then again, that was where Sephiroth’s diligence came into play. 

„Are you interested in becoming a SOLDIER?” Zack asked at one point during their tedious hike up the mountain.

„Not me, but a friend of mine,” Tifa barely spoke, seemingly reluctant to share more information about the matter. 

Zack scrutinized her with his gaze but tried not to be too obvious about it. There was something about the girl that he couldn’t accurately place his finger on, and his immediate instinct was to turn to Cloud, who was walking a few steps behind him and ask him if he knew her. But every time Zack would be drawn by that thought, he would forcefully stop himself, recognizing that if Cloud hadn’t said anything to her by that point, it must’ve been for a very good reason. And because of that, he considered that holding his tongue was for the best as well.

„About yesterday... I’m sorry for following you around like that,” Tifa began, forcing her guilt to the side, but it came out regardless. „I saw your uniform and I immediable recognized it... I was a bit suspicious as to why the Shinra military would come to our village, so I tagged along, thinking I’d be able to find out some information.”

„You could’ve just asked.”

Tifa winced. „No way.”

„How so? Do I really look that scary?” Zack pulled out his tongue towards the girl.

That wasn’t the first time Zack was met with the concept of people fearing SOLDIERs. He was almost certain Cloud feared them too, or at last, he feared Sephiroth, it was pretty evident in his eyes—how quickly he froze whenever in front of him and how fast his heart began beating whenever his name was mentioned. And apparently the same could be said about Tifa. 

Zack spent the rest of their journey weighing his thoughts about his position as SOLDIER and how, despite his best intentions, he might’ve been the only one who saw their work in a positive light. Because while inside the Shinra military barracks, he was privileged to a one-sided view of their actions, outside of it, he got a taste of the real world. And by the looks of it, that side feared them. They feared Shinra, the military, and, consequently, the SOLDIERs. 

Zack couldn’t say precisely had been the reason behind such a stance, but if that was indeed the case, then he wanted to be able to sort it out, to mend it, to adjust the world’s view to his. Besides, there was no reason to fear him. He was just a guy from Gongaga. Or Angeal, for that matter.

However, while Sephiroth wasn’t the most approachable person in the world, it was Genesis’ actions that recently sent a massive wave of unease and destruction in many cities. And those must’ve been fresh on a lot of people’s minds. Zack clicked his tongue, convinced now that if they were to sort out this problem, then they would undoubtedly win the approval of the village of Nibelheim and, with it, maybe some favorable word of mouth. 

In clenching his fist, Zack got reminded that from the very beginning, he had been playing a critical role in all of this, and most importantly, that SOLDIER was more than just a title, a name, a bunch of letters scrambled together to form a word. It was a symbol, it spelled honor, all the while carrying a lot of responsibilities and values with it, and Zack wanted to do it justice and help it shine anew. Just as Angeal had done before him.

„We’re here,” Tifa announced and pointed up the hill. 

Zack perked up, the sound of her voice bringing him forth from his mind. He then lifted his head and rushed his step, looking to close the distance between him and the famed reactor.

„Wow, now this is... incredible.”

While the Mako Reactor was imposing from afar, from up close, it was nothing short of intimidating, the peculiarly ominous aura amplified exponentially. Zack had no idea why he suddenly felt so small before it, but that didn’t take away from his energy. On the contrary, he could feel his excitement pumping in his veins. 

„We will go on ahead,” Sephiroth instructed and passed Zack on the way to the sturdy metal series of steps that lead up to the reactor entrance. 

The staircase was massive, imposing, and from the ground looking up, it seemed to go on forever. Zack watched as Sephiroth ascended, and he knew he needed to follow suit. But if even for a single moment, just as he was about to raise his foot and climb upon the first step, Zack found himself stuck in place. Something appeared to be holding him back as though trying to make him reconsider his options.

„I’m coming as well!” 

The conviction with which Tifa spoke was striking, and it startled him. Zack then whipped around, only to be met with an overwhelming glow in her eyes—one that seemed all too familiar as he had seen it more than once before.

„This facility is off-limits to all non-Shinra personnel,” Sephiroth replied curtly and turned, looking to resume his ascent.

Tifa groaned displeased then turned to face Zack, the same glow from before persisting in her wide eyes.

„You heard him, Tifa. Sorry but no can do,” Zack said. „No worries though, you will be safe out here. We have the best man on the job to protect you,” he then smiled in Cloud’s direction.

Zack knew Cloud caught his gaze right before he turned to the side and approached Tifa intending to keep her from climbing the stairs after them. The girl looked dejected, but Cloud seemed firm in his stance, a dutiful soldier all the way. And yet, Zack wished he knew what was truly going on in Cloud's mind during those moments. 

As it stood right then and there, things felt a bit tense, muddled, and above everything else shrouded with such an unsettling air, Zack honestly didn’t know how to feel anymore. He stood upright, the Buster Sword’s weight heavy on his back, and then followed Sephiroth inside the Nibelheim Mako Reactor.

* * * * *

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thank you for the wait *bows* 
> 
> Please let me know if it was worth it, comments very much encouraged hehehehe~
> 
> Feel free to stop by [Tumblr](https://www.tumblr.com/blog/nightyelfy) if you want to say hi or follow me for future updates and projects!


	9. Chapter 9

With every step he took, Zack held his head high. He was so focused on the monstrosity in front of him that he briefly lost touch with the world around, as though it had taken a backseat to the predicament presented before his watchful eyes.

Beside him, Sephiroth was as stern and inscrutable as always. He could hear the intensity with which Zack’s heart was beating. It was almost like Zack’s attitude was coming to bother him. Instead of addressing it straight away, he waited until they crossed the threshold of the Nibelheim Mako Reactor. 

„You make it seem like you’ve never set foot inside one before,” Sephiroth noted critically, his footsteps echoing sharply throughout the entire chamber as he proceeded to walk in front of Zack.

There was no shaking the fact that Zack felt bombarded by so many new things that he had a hard time piecing everything together. Unlike Sephiroth, who seemed... at ease. A bit too familiar with everything around him, Zack considered, but since he didn’t want to make baseless presumptions, he held his tongue on the matter.

His attention was scattered, and Zack knew that. And yet, no matter how much he wished to ground himself, there was nothing Zack could hang on to for support. Sephiroth caged himself in his own mind. The Mako Reactor was emanating an eerily perturbing aura that made it hard for him to focus. 

„Now that you mention it, I don’t think I have,” Zack eventually spoke, his mouth hanging open as his eyes scanned everything they caught.

Zack stirred from one leg to the other and then turned to Sephiroth, who was caught staring at a sturdy metal door, located somewhere atop another set of stairs somewhere in the middle of the reactor’s main chamber. He lifted his head, looking to catch what had absorbed Sephiroth’s attention.

„Jenova...” Zack read the name from atop the door in the distance, the letter protruding distinctly from the metal placard.

His brows furrowed, a sudden acute feeling of unease forming inside of him. There was no mistaking that there was a certain resemblance to a name he had recently heard. Although aware that probing the door wasn’t part of his duties, Zack was caught scouring his mind for the source of the familiarity. And it wasn’t until he felt Sephiroth passing by him that a daunting connection formed in his mind. 

Sephiroth went towards a different part of the reactor’s main chamber to investigate a couple of monitors, with Zack closely following behind him, a question stuck in his throat. And while Zack wanted to address his concerns, Sephiroth seemed so engrossed in his task that ultimately, he couldn’t bring himself to say a word. 

„The malfunction that was detected by our scanners is not the same as the one reported on the reactor’s log. This sort of discrepancy is unusual,” Sephiroth explained in a low voice, but Zack caught every word.

„Should we suspect foul play?”

Sephiroth groaned and jolted to the other side of the main staircase, looking to investigate some of the curious pods that were spread across the layout of the reactor’s main chamber. Zack held himself steady and followed, forcing himself to believe that Sephiroth was merely stuck in his mind and wasn’t intentionally ignoring him. 

Understanding that remaining in Sephiroth’s shadow would only take him so far, Zack decided to break free and do some investigative work on his own. With hesitation forced away from his heart, Zack approached one of the nearby pods and cautiously leaned in to check its contents. His eyes grew in disbelief as his heart began drumming a rickety beat. Something twisted in his stomach, and for a long moment, Zack felt so revolted he could almost taste bile in his mouth. 

Never would’ve he believed that inside the pods in the Nibelheim Mako Reactor lay some... beings, the type he hadn’t seen before. Neither were they human, nor entirely otherwordly. It was as though they created to pertain to an in-between form, not necessarily favoring each extreme more than the other. For what purpose... by whose’s doing... to what outcome... The questions flooded Zack’s mind like a torrent, but despite his best struggles, he was unable to make sense of any of them. 

„Sephiroth, this...” he barely muttered. 

Zack had long considered he had purposefully been left out of a lot of Shinra matters and had been rejected a lot of information, but he could never say for certain. However, that chance discovery only came to confirm that all his presumptions had been true. Gruesomely so.

„What is going on?” Zack asked and suddenly became guarded as he turned to face Sephiroth.

„Mako energy... is what Shinra uses for many of their technical advances. It is quite extraordinary considering its wast array of usage. Electricity... materia... even us. You see, average SOLDIERs such as yourself are Mako infused humans,” Sephiroth explained, turning to Zack’s as though for a closer inspection. „Your humanity remains intact, regardless of the enhancements. However, those beings... whose Mako levels are exponentially higher than yours, are not the same.”

„So... monsters?” Zack offered, that last word yanked reluctantly from his lips.

Sephiroth’s mouth thinned and refused to answer Zack. Again. Unable to remain near them any longer, Zack then took his distance from the pods, his gaze cautious as it flickered to Sephiroth. 

„The Shinra scientist Hojo... this is his field of expertise. Although an astonishing use of Mako energy, this certainly cannot be overlooked.” 

„Mako energy this, Mako energy that. Sephiroth, seriously, one thing at a time,” Zack clenched his fist, forcing himself to calmly address the hero, but even his patience was being tested during those constraining moments. „Earlier, you mentioned that I am an average SOLDIER member. I honestly have no clue what you meant by that because if I am average, then... what does that make Angeal or Genesis? Or... even you for that matter?”

Unknowingly, Zack had sprung the trigger to a strange device. The dominos that had been steadily set in place were struck, nudged, pushed, and that time around, there was nothing to prevent their inevitable descent. And with their fall, all the walls that Sephiroth had built throughout his life, in violent desperation to uphold his humanity, began collapsing. 

Judging by the ease with which it all came crumbling down, it just went to show that the base they were set upon wasn’t solid to begin with. Everything Sephiroth ever build within him was based on a foundation of lies, half-truths, misinformation, and too much confusion and doubted to last. 

Sephiroth was unprepared to face Zack’s question. And not because he didn’t know what to say. Rather than having no answer, Sephiroth did have one. But it was anything but pleasant. The terrible truth that had been lurking in the depth of his mind for such a long time was now being tempted to come out, and he was unable to meet it, to make sense of it, to descipher it. 

„Sephiroth?” Zack probed, quick to assist, although unable to spot the source of his suffering in a short amount of time. 

Zack looked at Sephiroth as his face paled and contorted, desperation, confusion, and anger appearing and falling over it as though rain off a glass window. Gripping at his chest in an attempt to hold whatever was behind flesh and bone in one piece, Sephiroth reached for his head, his free hand clutching at his temple, struggling to keep every part of himself together. 

It might’ve been a long time coming, and yet, once faced with the predicament, Sephiroth found himself unprepared as though caught in an arduous battle between past and present, life, and something beyond that.

„Sephiroth!” Zack called out again and reached out to grab onto him to hold him steady.

However, Sephiroth wasn’t looking for support from the outside in those moments. With the same desperation from before emanating from the edges of his eyes, he retracted his hand and pushed Zack to the side. 

Zack was thrown a few steps backward. The strength of the push was nothing short of remarkable, even Zack having to tap into his fortitude to rebalance himself. Sephiroth made it look easy, but thankfully Zack was able to recover quickly, and with his focus reestablished, he gazed up at Sephiroth once more. 

„No wonder this place felt so comforting... being among these monsters. For all I know... I might be one of them too.”

„Listen to me, you’re not being yourself,” Zack tried to persuade. „It might be from all this damn Mako in the air.”

Not only were Sephiroth’s words beginning to sound unnervingly foreign, but the exasperation in his voice was slowly getting to Zack too. 

„Come on, you need to get a hold of yourself.”

„I knew it for a long time... I knew mine was a special existence,” Sephiroth spoke, the light in his eyes sharp as he stared down at his hands. „However, a monster... that was not what I had expected.”

The way Sephiroth was talking made it seem that it was his last attempt, and a desperate one at that to cling onto the few pillars of stability he had left, but even those were crumbling away the longer he continued down that treacherous path in his mind. And all this while Zack was left on the side, his words and gestures not reaching Sephiroth no matter what he tried to do. He quickly realized that he had never felt so powerless in front of the silver-haired hero ever before.

„My humanity... felt foreign because...,” Sephiroth followed, his mouth twitching violently as the thoughts gathered, „it was probably never a part of me, to begin with.”

Sephiroth lowered his eyes, his head falling as he fixed upon his shivering hands, looking, watching, trying to come to terms with the terrible truth that collapsed over him with the force of a thousand suns. 

_„I, too, found the truth to be rather liberating.”_

The voice... it was melodious and deep, striking albeit soothing as it traveled the reactor’s main chamber. Swallowing a reflexive gasp, Zack looked up, urgently trying to determine the direction the voice was coming from. He only knew one person who spoke with such inflections, and it had been a long while since it last graced his ears. Zack’s eyes scurry to the area around him until he met the shape of a familiar gaze. 

„Genesis,” Zack murmured.

The name barely had time to flit off of Zack’s lips before the lights went out on him. Zack fell to the ground, struck by something heavy. A pressure, a pain, a weight that was persistently trying to tear him away from the world around him, disconnecting him from his senses.

_„Thus, the greatest monster created by... reveals it’s the true face and... a claim to its legacy.”_

Genesis... it surely was Genesis speaking, and Zack became sure of it. He recognized the voice and the glimpses of elaborate gestures he displayed when walking or talking. The only thing betraying him was...

His smell. It wasn’t the one that Zack associated with Genesis. At least, with the hero that he used to know. Where it was once rich, aromatic, somewhat earthy, now it was replaced with a stale, musky one. Reminiscent of decay and death... entropy on more than a single level. 

Zack instantly came to hate that scent because with it came the realization of many horrible things. Their venture to Nibelheim, from the very beginning... had been nothing more than the elaborate set-up, the laborious well-thought-out plan set in motion by none other than the vile Genesis.

„This whole time... you were alive...” 

Zack thought he said, but he wasn’t sure if he actually uttered those words or if they were figments of his imagination, elements of past conversations, or something he had heard somebody else says at some point in his life. In his mind, the past and the present were all jumbled together, mixed in such a devastating manner that Zack wondered if he was actually dreaming or if he was a part of somebody else’s dream.

_„...the Jenova Project...”_

Zack thought he heard, but again, there was no certainty behind the claim. He could’ve sworn his eyes were open, staring at a tall red-haired man. And as he kept talking, the words uttered became heavier and deeper in meaning and implication. After blinking a couple of times, Zack saw Genesis revealing a smile so chilling and terrifying it brought forth a violent shudder from within him. He might as well had been scowling. 

_„Countless experiments... Jenova cells...”_

The words fade in and out, flying around him without any apparent rhyme or reason, and Zack couldn’t be sure what he heard or thought he heard. Downright confused by the exchange, Zack felt himself taking a deep breath. With a rush of adrenaline pulsating in his veins, he pushed himself beyond the limits imposed on him by the unknown force.

„Genesis, don’t...”

Zack felt himself say, and after gritting his teeth, he willed himself to stand up. However, his legs buckled under his weight, and Zack collapsed once more. Whatever Genesis did to him, it was painful, infuriating, and humiliating. Not only was he made a spectator to their exchange, obliged to observe while everything else moved around him, but he was pushed to the side as though deemed unworthy of Genesis’ attention.

_„...monsters.”_

It must’ve been Genesis’ doing that Zack found himself lost in his mind, in some deep depths from which he couldn’t bring himself to escape on his own. Despite the defenseless posture that his incapacitation brought him, Zack found mercy in the fact that he could hear them. Because for whatever reason, Genesis was talking to Sephiroth. 

Zack lifted his head, redirecting his dazed gaze past the red-haired hero and towards Sephiroth. Although expecting the same exasperation to be etched onto it, Zack distinguished something he had rarely seen on Sephiroth’s face. 

_„Help me, Sephiroth...”_

Sephiroth was calm, like the surface of a deep still lake, and if Zack was bold enough to assume, even at peace. Genesis’s words might’ve been steadily getting to the silver-haired hero. Whether they were coming to confirm his suspicions or filling out missing fragments of his presumptions, Zack couldn’t say, but something was clearly resonating with Sephiroth. If only the words wouldn’t scramble and blend into each other as horribly as they were in those strenuous moments. 

_„You... are unique. Your genes are stable... Share... with me.”_

Zack felt his muscles contracting in retaliation when Sephiroth turned towards Genesis, intrigue now scattered in his eyes. He didn’t want to believe Genesis’ words worked on Sephiroth. 

Zack distinguished the apathetic way in which Sephiroth opened his mouth and muttered something. However, because of his strain, Zack wasn’t able to make out any of his words. Not to mention, it was becoming hard to focus. Incredibly so.

_„The perfect monster indeed.”_

Genesis might’ve been persistent in his mission, but Zack was still determined to stop him. Yet, despite Zack’s constant desire to reach out to Sephiroth and help him steady himself, he never did manage to gap the distance between them. 

„No...” Zack barely voiced. „Sephiroth, don’t...”

Although sure Sephiroth heard him, he didn’t seem to show it. Because before Zack knew it, the silver-haired hero whipped around and calmly began walking away. Without any further consideration, Zack caught glimpses of Sephiroth as he exited the reactor through the distinct wide metal doors.

Still caught up in his tenebrous daze, Zack forced his head up to check his surroundings only to find that he was alone. He was unable to catch the moment when Genesis left the reactor’s main chamber, however, he must’ve vanished soon after Sephiroth’s departure. It was as though Genesis were a shadow clinging to Sephiroth’s heels, always looming, never too far away for the source that was keeping him alive.

The moments that followed the disappearances of both the SOLDIERs’ were shrouded in uncertainty, oscillation, and for whatever reason, a lot of calm. The peace and silence that came soon after drew Zack into closing his eyes. And once everything became serene around him, it was almost like it became safe for Zack to accept his condition. To give in to his predicament. The burden seemed unnecessary to keep carrying, pointless to struggle with, and Zack found no reason to continue fighting the battle. Because right then and there, he had discovered a sort of peace that he wasn’t sure he wanted to let go of.

Just as Zack was about to let the eternal silence take over his mind, something began taking shape in the depth of that all-consuming darkness. A soundless noise... perhaps a shapeless form, a focused beam of warmth... pieced together from fragments of many memories, feelings, fleeting gestures that were registered by his senses without his consent now came to define Zack. Give him meaning. And in that frenzy of creation, something tangible began taking form. And with it came... 

the sensation of a touch, 

the heat of a breath, 

the shape of a smile... 

Zack pried his eyes open, and only when he made sense of his surroundings did a sudden desire to breathe came upon him. He had no idea how long he had been lying there without breathing, but he could feel his lungs craving for air as a parched plant for water. He indulged himself in a few hurried intakes of breath, and then as though yanked forward by an invisible hand, he forced himself to stand up. 

Although wobbly and heavy, his legs were able to carry him to the reactor’s wide metal door. He pushed himself forward, dismissing at the same time, the panic that was making its way towards his heart. Not to mention the shame which was making every inch of his skin sting. While Zack didn’t know what he would meet once outside, he pushed past the shock, and finally proceeded out the door.

In the near distance, at the very foot of the staircase, Zack could distinguish the shape of two people. The panic increased, however, when, as he was descending down the stairs, Zack began to discern that while Tifa seemed unharmed, the same couldn’t be said about the person next to her.

Who was lying on the ground. Unmoving. 

„Zack...,” Tifa uttered when the SOLDIER stopped beside her. „He tried to protect me...”

Zack felt like he had just gotten punched in the stomach. The sight of the blond lying helpless on the floor was too devastating, and it pushed Zack to the edge once more. Not only was his head pulsating with a ravaging amount of pain, but his chest felt like it might crack open at any moment, the fight to keep his heart from shattering outright fierce. 

„I bet he did...” Zack said, biting the inside of his cheek until he could taste blood.

Holding his breath, he leaned down past Tifa and pressed a few fingers to Cloud’s neck. He squeezed his eyes together in a relieved manner, tempering his heart from its awkward attempt to jump out of his chest as soon as he felt movement. Because although Cloud’s pulse was weak, it was steady. 

„Come, we need to get you two to town,” Zack urged, grabbing Cloud’s arm and dragging it around his shoulders so that he could hold onto him. „Tifa, stay close to me.”

Tifa nodded, and although in shock herself, she put up a good front. Zack might’ve barely met her, but her unyielding fighting spirit was very much envy-worthy. And he could sense it even from a distance. Unknowingly, it was supplying him with a lot of energy, too, because he desperately needed anything to keep his knees from giving in. Zack wished he could thank Tifa, but in those moments, he was too scattered to do anything but push forward along the path back to town while holding onto the blond.

„What happened in there, Zack?” Tifa asked, her voice shivering just like her body as they rushed their steps in an attempt to put the Mako Reactor as far away behind them as possible.

„I’m sorry, but it’s probably for the best that you don’t know,” Zack offered, keeping his gaze forward, although he could feel Tifa’s eyes glued to him.

Zack heard her gasp, fearful as she didn’t know what to make out of his words. He wasn’t probably the first one to deny her information or opportunity, but that wasn’t because he underestimated her or thought differently of her because she was a girl. The truth was that Zack didn’t know what to say or how to say it. There was little he understood himself, and the last thing he wanted was to cause a panic that would spread like wildfire throughout town. Not to mention that...

„Did you happen to see which way Sephiroth went?” he asked, his eyes narrowed on the path ahead.

„I didn’t,” Tifa replied curtly and averted her gaze away from him. „However, that man with the red hair that followed him out... who was he?”

Zack took his time in replying. Genesis appeared just as fast as he disappeared during their visit to the reactor, and for a long time after that, Zack feared that everything he saw and heard in his bleary state had just been a long and grueling hallucination caused by the high Mako levels in the air. Exhaling slowly, he surprised himself to find how relieved he was to hear that his encounter with Genesis hadn’t been a figment of his imagination. 

„I wish I knew...” Zack muttered, accepting at the same time that the SOLDIER hero he once knew as Genesis was the first victim to fall prey to the degradation that plagued his body. „Was he the one who attacked you?”

„Yeah,” Tifa lowered her head, the events replaying in her mind. „It all happened so fast. One moment he was in front of us and then...”

„I understand,” Zack swallowed, almost convinced that whatever Genesis did to him, he forced on Cloud as well. 

Zack remembered the pain distinctively as well as the desire to accept it and surrender to it. He felt foolish for allowing it to make its way through him with such ease but feared what kind of effect it might have on Cloud. While he as a SOLDIER was able to recover from it, he couldn’t say for sure if the same outcome would befall Cloud.

„Thank you for being so tough. And for looking after him,” Zack then said, looking her way and motioning with his head towards the still unconscious man hanging by his side.

Tifa wanted to speak again, but after seeing the paleness and the daze that were still present in Zack’s eyes, she eventually gave up the intention. She then nodded and sprinted forward, seemingly even more eager than Zack to reach the town. 

Zack held onto Cloud the entire way, keeping him as steady and as close to his body as possible. He found himself squeezing at his wrist, or on the side of his body, that way wishing he could get close enough to sense his heartbeat or hear his breathing, anything to ensure that he was fine. That Cloud would be alright. And every time Zack would meet the distinct sounds he was looking for, his heart would settle, and he allowed himself to draw breath. 

„The village is down this way,” Tifa announced and slightly turned behind her to face Zack. „I will go on ahead. I want to check in with my family.”

Zack nodded, understanding her urgency. However, there was a part of him that would’ve wanted to reach out to her and reassure her that there was nothing to fear. Genesis’ interest had never lied in Nibelheim or its villagers. It was Sephiroth and the reactor that drew his admiration. Although still determined to process and understand everything that had happened to them while inside the reactor, Zack felt short on answers. Yet again, much to his unexpressed dismay. And because of that, he ultimately chose to allow Tifa to remain vigilant.

„Ah, Tifa, before you go,” Zack called out. „Can I ask you for a favor?”

Tifa gasped softly and stopped in her step. „Ye-yeah, sure,” she offered with a faint restraint to her words. „What is it?”

„If you spot Sephiroth... please let me know.”

Zack could easily tell that the girl had close to a dozen questions swirling behind her eyes, but she proved to be so well mannered and tempered that not even for a moment did she give in to her temptations and ask away. She understood that wasn’t her place to demand answers, and because of that, she simply agreed to Zack’s request with a polite nod and then hurried her step towards town.

Fastening his hold on Cloud, Zack then walked the rest of the way on his own, his mind barely a solace in those tumultuous times. Still shaken by how quickly things deteriorate before his eyes, Zack couldn’t help but discern that throughout all the choices and decisions he had made ever since tasked with that mission, a lot of blame was on him. Specifically, for his complacency towards how he had been treated by Shinra, despite his status as SOLDIER. And most aggravating, for his mistake of placing his entire trust in Sephiroth. 

Zack had known Sephiroth for so long, and yet it wasn’t until their trip to Nibelheim that he felt something amiss with him. And that feeling only amplified the deeper they got with investigating the reactor. That whole time Zack was sure Sephiroth would have his back just like he undoubtedly would have his. But that clearly wasn’t the case. And if he dared to consider it, that probably never was. For lack of a better way to settle his predicament, Zack ultimately recognized that he had fallen victim to his own credibility. 

A hopeless optimist was what Cloud had called him the other day. Zack clicked his tongue once he accepted that there was a lot of truth behind the blond’s playful comment. And he couldn’t believe how painful that realization truly was as he came to see it for himself.

„Zack...”

The faint sound of his name barely reached his ear. But once it did, Zack stopped in his march and turned to the blond who was hanging by his side.

„Cloud?” Zack gasped and released him from his hold, gently propping him against a nearby building’s wall. 

„Where are we?” he asked, bringing his hand clumsily up to his face. „What happened?” he followed, the confusion in his tone only deepening.

Shaking deliriously, Zack then lunged forward and wrapped his arms around the blond.

„Cloud!” Zack breathed as his arms held tightly onto the blond, squeezing him against his body.

„Mm, Zack,” Cloud gasped for air, patting him on the back.

„I’m sorry, I’m sorry,” Zack retreated promptly and tilted his head, desperate to meet his gaze. „Seriously, Cloud, you have no idea how...” 

Zack pressed his lips together, the rest of his sentence stuck behind them. Despite the relief at seeing Cloud awake, Zack forced himself to rethink his statement, refusing to voice his terror upon seeing Cloud lying unconscious on the ground. He was still dazed, and the last thing Zack wanted was to add more pressure to his weakened state.

„How are you feeling?” he retried, stealthily scanning the blond. „Does anything hurt?”

„I think I’m fine. My ear is ringing a bit, though,” Cloud barely said and tried to push himself loose from Zack’s hold, but Zack didn’t trust Cloud’s trembling knees enough to fully let go of him. „Ah, Tifa! Is Tifa...”

„She is fine,” Zack reassured and pressed his forehead against Cloud’s helmet, wishing to take as much joy from that moment as possible. „And all thanks to you, hero,” he felt the need to add.

Cloud made a sound resembling a chuckle and then felt himself losing all strength in his legs. Zack gasped in surprise but was quick to catch Cloud before he collapsed to the ground. Despite Zack’s insistence to snap him out of his delirious state, Cloud remained unresponsive. He had fainted once more, leaving Zack to continue the rest of their way back to the inn by himself, the blond’s arm fastened around his neck once again.

* * * * *

Zack’s head was down, Cloud’s hand tucked in between his. He had been sitting by the side of his bed for the entire evening, carefully listening to and, at times, counting the soft rhythmical breaths Cloud took. He didn’t know when he was going to wake up, or what kind of state he would be when he did, but Zack would be by his side, ready to comfort him any way he could. Zack clung onto any bit of hope to reassure himself that the blond was merely asleep. And most importantly that he was well.

„Zack...”

Zack stood upright, the sound of his name startling him. His heart then lifted once he saw soft traces of light winking off the surface of Cloud’s half-opened perfectly blue eyes.

„Hey, there, blondie,” Zack was quick to smile. „I had no idea you of all people could be such a sound sleeper,” he tried to joke, but more out of nervousness than anything else.

„Zack,” Cloud repeated and forced his head to the side. „My hand...”

„What’s wrong with your hand?” 

„You are squeezing... too tightly.”

„Oh, damn, sorry,” Zack said and clumsily released it but not before kissing it a couple of times as though it would alleviate some of the pain he had caused.

Cloud huffed in amusement because somehow it did.

„How are you feeling?”

„Better,” Cloud said and went to get up but quickly found that any sudden movement sent more bolts of pain thudding in his head.

„Here, let me help,” Zack jumped and offered himself as support for Cloud to hang on to as he stood upright in the bed.

„Thanks...” Cloud rubbed the back of his head in an attempt to alleviate some of the pain pulsating from within. „What happened back there, anyway?”

„I don’t mean to worry you, but... Ah, how should I say...” Zack clicked his tongue and stopped to think. „Genesis appeared out of nowhere and...” he then paused once more, fighting himself on what he should say and withhold. „And I don’t know where Sephiroth is.”

„Genesis?” Cloud frowned, recognizing that it had been a while he heard the name. „Where is he now?”

„No clue,” Zack replied and rubbed the back of his neck. „That’s why we need to locate Sephiroth. He seemed to possess something Genesis wants. So hopefully, two birds with one stone sort of thing.”

„Well, shouldn’t we go out there to look for him?” Cloud turned to him. „For both of them, I mean.”

„Tifa and the other infantrymen are,” he offered in a calm voice. „They will let us know if they spot anything. Besides, you need to rest.”

Cloud scoffed. „I need to rest... What about you?”

„What about me?” Zack raised an eyebrow.

„You are as pale as a ghost...” Cloud brought his hand up to Zack’s face and briefly touched it with the tips of his fingers.

„Yeah, well, there are too many things going on in my head,” Zack straightened up. „It’s a bit overwhelming,” he forced a smile as though admitting a horrible truth.

Cloud leaned towards him and grabbed his hand. He held it in his own for a long moment, his fingers gently grazing the callous surface of his palm.

„You’ll figure it out. I know you will, Zack,” Cloud voiced quietly, hiding his gaze in how tightly they were holding onto each other’s hands.

Zack swallowed. In narrowing his eyebrows, he understood that wasn’t the time to give in to his doubts. Whatever happened in the past stayed there, and that second chance he was given was an opportunity to change everything—and for the better. The fact that Sephiroth wasn’t dependable wasn’t anything new, although Zack was slow to see that. It would seem that a lone wolf would always choose solitude. 

„What was that?” Zack jumped, lifting his head to check the room around them, flashbacks of the events that unfolded at the reactor quick to resurface.

„Sorry,” Cloud glanced up at him, his expression slightly flustered. „My stomach.”

„Oh, that’s right,” Zack chuckled nervously as his shoulders relaxed. „You must be starving. I kinda ate all your food yesterday, didn’t I?”

„I should head into town and...” Cloud followed and was about to stand up from the bed when he was met with Zack’s glowing expression as he leaned in towards him.

„Hey, don’t worry about it. I’ll take care of everything,” Zack offered and pressed a hand to Cloud’s shoulder. „You just sit back, and I’ll run into town, check on everybody and get you some food.”

With a smile still broad on his lips, Zack jumped up, and before Cloud could make sense of his surroundings, the ebony-haired man was already at the door, ready to head out and brave the village streets.

„Zack.”

„Yeah?” he turned around, and his eyes flick to Cloud’s, unprepared to be met with such a worried gaze from the blond.

„Please be safe out there.” 

„You know I will,” he nodded briskly and forced himself out the door, feeling that if he wouldn’t leave at that precise moment, he wouldn’t have been able to at all, his desire to keep watch on the blond still very much aflame in his heart.

* * * * *

His heart was racing as he was making his way through the quiet streets of Nibelheim, and Zack was almost sure that there wasn’t just one reason behind his growing sense of unease. Sephiroth was missing, Cloud was injured, Genesis must’ve still been nearby, the town had yet to be notified of any possible threats. There were a lot of things to take into consideration before devising a sound plan, but at least one thing was for sure. Zack needed all the help he could get if he were to proceed, and as of that moment, food became his priority.

As he was wandering the market, Zack’s hope began dwindling when he noticed that most stalls had closed for the evening. It had been a while since he had to worry about purchasing food, and for a long moment, Zack was actually concerned, thinking that if worst came to pass, he would go knocking on people's doors until he would’ve found somebody willing to share something with him.

„I’m sure Tifa wouldn’t mind having two extra people at her dinner table,” Zack mumbled to himself, trying to cheer himself up, but even he had to be truthful and see that further burdening Tifa with their problems was something he didn’t want to do again.

Zack stopped in his aimless march and took in a deep breath. That wasn’t the time to despair, he instilled the thought in his head and with new energy to him, began scanning the market area once more. And it wasn’t until the spotted a small shop at the end of the street that he felt a smile creeping on his lips. 

Rushing his step towards it, Zack approached the bakery, and after distinguishing between the few people that were inside, he breathed relieved. The place was still open, and he couldn’t have been happier. 

Zack made his way to the door, and just as he pushed the handle to step inside, he noticed a woman approaching. Whether he startled her in his haste, or she had been too lost in thought to pay attention to her surroundings was irrelevant because she quickly found herself stumbling. The woman would have fallen to the floor, together with the basket of pastries and other food items she was dearly holding onto, was it not for Zack’s quick reflexes. He reached forward, and not only did he catch the basket by the handle before it crashed onto the floor, but also he held onto her wrist, helping her readjust her balance before it was too late. 

„Are you alright?” he asked, tilting his head to catch the woman’s gaze from under her big and elegant straw hat. 

„Oh, I’m so sorry. I was just a bit...” the woman began saying but stopped right as she lifted her head and met Zack’s eyes.

They were caught staring in each other’s eyes for a long moment. The woman was utterly lost in his Mako tinted eyes, the expression on her face changing so quickly that Zack was unable to distinguish between the surge of emotions that was coming alive inside of her.

„Is there something the matter?” 

„Your uniform... are you with SOLDIER?” she asked, sounding outright unnerved.

„Yeah,” Zack offered as politely as possible as he released her arm, although her worried demeanor was getting to him. „Can I help you with anything?”

The woman opened her mouth to speak, thought for a long moment, and then although overtaken by an acute sense of distress, closed her it again. She hastily averted her head, her gaze now set on the door behind Zack.

„Thank you for earlier,” the woman said, and after grabbing hold of her basket, she pushed herself forward, brushing shoulders with Zack as she passed him. 

And it was in that moment that her graceful hat nudged slightly to the side, and Zack got to glance underneath it. He immediately noticed the color of her hair. It was golden, radiant with the same glow as the sun at midday. 

Zack gasped impulsively and disregarding his impertinence, a sudden urge to reach forward and call out to the woman to ask her who she was appeared in his mind. But he stopped himself in the last moment, the words hanging at the tip of his tongue. 

That wasn’t the time for such a thing, no matter how much he was craving for answers of any sort at that point. Besides, there were other pressing matters he needed to attend to.

* * * * *

Zack made his way up the stairs of the inn with a whole basket filled with pies and pastries of different sorts of varieties. He was proud of himself for the number of things he managed to purchase, and even at half-price as he was the last customer. With a smug expression on his face, Zack pushed the door to the room he shared with Cloud open.

However, his pride was short-lived because, despite the diligence with which he searched his surroundings, there was no trace of Cloud. He hadn’t been gone for so long, and Cloud was too weak to go around patrolling the town on his own. But then again, he was stubborn, and Zack shouldn’t have been surprised if he felt guilty for not fulfilling his duty and raising up to what was expected of him as a soldier.

„Damn it, Cloud...” Zack muttered, his mind quick to plan routes and paths for him to follow to search for him. 

But just as whipped around, Zack found himself locked in a fierce staring competition with the blond who was standing behind him, eyes wide and expression fazed.

„Where were you?!” Zack almost shouted.

„Bath...” he offered, frozen in place. „No major wounds... just a few bruises here and there. I think I’ll make it.”

Zack closed his eyes as relief washed over him. „Ok, that’s really good to hear,” he breathed, taking note of how irregular his heartbeats were. „Sorry about before, I’m still so...”

„What’s with the basket?” Cloud cut him short, unable to hold himself back, and pointed behind Zack.

„Oh, this?” Zack asked and moved aside so that Cloud could step inside the room. „I didn’t really know what you liked, so I took everything... I hope that’s ok.”

Cloud lowered himself on his knees and began checking the contents of the basket. „Wow, this stuff...”

„No good?” Zack approached.

„I haven’t had some of these since I was a child.”

„So, good?” he then chirped.

„Really good. Thank you,” Cloud smiled and lifted his glowing eyes to Zack.

„Well, eat up then. You’re going to need your strength.”

Cloud rummaged through the basket, took out a few things, and then pushed it in Zack’s direction. „Right back at you.”

Zack smiled back at him and sat down cross-legged. He was hesitant at first as to which product, to begin with, all the items foreign and somewhat mysterious to him, but there was no denying the hunger within him. After grabbing hold of some of the pastries, Zack quickly understood why Cloud was so excited. 

Throughout their meal, Cloud couldn’t help himself stealing glances at Zack. He had such an intense appetite, it was like he hadn’t eaten in days. But in a way, Cloud couldn’t blame him. He had no idea what he went through up there at the reactor. The only thing he knew was that he wasn’t able to help out. 

Cloud was so quickly taken out of action that it was even embarrassing trying to recall the order of the events. In a way, he didn’t want to, because he knew he was a detriment to Zack’s mission’s success back in Junon. And despite his newly acquired strength and skills, he still seemed like a rookie, having to rely on Zack to be rescued. 

Cloud’s appetite suddenly vanished. He mindfully placed the rest of the food back inside the basket and lowered his head before Zack.

„I wish I were as strong as you are.”

Zack raised an eyebrow in his direction, his mouth full of food. „As I am?”

„How you can keep your cool and optimism in any situation. And still make time to take care of me even during all this. There’s no use pretending, Zack, I’m just a burden to you,” Cloud lifted his head, expression riddled with remorse and shades of grief. „But you shouldn’t bother with me anymore. I couldn’t live with myself, knowing that I’m dragging you down or holding you back even in the slightest.”

„Is that what you think you are doing?” Zack rebuked, his voice stern like never before.

„Even now, instead of you being out there patroling, helping Sephiroth, finding Genesis, you are here with me, stuck in this inn... because I’m just so damn useless,” Cloud squeezed his fist, and he felt his eyes stinging with tears, as his shame took over him entirely.

„Your dream... of becoming SOLDIER. Would you hate me if I told you to reconsider it?” Zack asked and leveled him with a look.

Cloud swallowed, his mouth dry. „Hate... you? What do you mean exactly?”

„This whole time, I’ve been trying to convince myself to stand tall and uphold this title and everything that comes with it and yet... SOLDIER isn’t a safe place to be right now,” Zack lowered his head, his conflicting thoughts surfacing along with the confusion. 

Zack heard Cloud gasping, as though preparing to say something, but because he wasn’t entirely done saying his piece, he pushed himself to continue.

„I feel that I keep drowning no matter what I do. And the only thing that keeps bringing me up to the surface is you. You are the one who reminded me that I am human and that it’s ok to be happy and to feel... like this,” Zack reached forward, and after clutching onto Cloud’s hand, he redirected it to his chest. „So if you think you are weak, then that’s because you don’t really listen to your heart. Because I heard it yesterday, and today and let me tell you, it was beating so fast and so vigorously, it was like a jackhammer. The fact that you are alive and here, still able to put up the fight, still able to smile,” he brushed his thumb against Cloud’s cheek, hoping to encourage the formation of a smile at the corner of his lips, „that is true strength right there. And that isn’t something everybody has.”

„And you think I do?”

„I never doubted it for a second,” Zack replied, gazing deeply into Cloud’s startled eyes.

Cloud nodded reluctantly and forced himself up from the floor, Zack’s words alive in the back of his mind. Zack followed him with his eyes as he went to the window and settled on gazing outside. 

Zack couldn’t be sure if he was just curious to observe the scenery or was looking for somebody, in particular, hoping he might spot them by chance, but it was clear that Cloud’s heart was still uneasy. Yet, it wasn’t like he was further behind, regardless of his composed appearance.

„Cloud... about Tifa.”

Cloud perked up at the sound of the name and, for a long moment, refused to turn from his spot near the window.

„Do you two know each other?”

Zack didn’t know what Cloud was thinking, nor did he know what he was feeling. Sure, he could take a guess, but he’d rather hear him speak his mind than making any wild assumptions.

„Yeah, she is my childhood friend. She was the first person I ever told I wanted to become a SOLDIER.”

Zack exhaled slowly and pressed. „Is she the one you’ve been hiding from?”

Cloud tensed up, Zack could feel the way his heart stuttered from across the room. While it hadn’t been his intention to make their conversation feel like an interrogation, there were some things in Zack’s heart that he wanted to know. And in his eyes, that was as close to a perfect moment to talk as he’d probably ever get.

„Listen, I don’t know what’s going on between you two, and I’m not going to ask you to explain yourself either. It’s none of my business,” Zack said and got up from the floor. „But you know, whatever the distance between you two, maybe you should look into it and try to work it out. She seems like a cool girl.”

Zack ended and looked in Cloud’s direction only to see that he had lowered his head.

„I wish it were that easy,” Cloud allowed softly into the fragile atmosphere between them. „I’m just not so good at... talking or... fixing things.”

„You and me both. Fighting is all I’ve been doing my whole life,” Zack allowed once he crossed the room and leaned against the wall next to Cloud. „No wonder every time I’m faced with a predicament that doesn’t involve fighting, I’m so clumsy... I hate it when I can’t distinguish between sides and roles.”

Zack sighed as Angeal’s words about the chessboard appeared in his mind, specifically to how the pieces are constantly changing, transforming while taking on different roles depending on how much they’ve advanced or, on the contrary, regressed.

„Your sword... it was Angeal’s right?” Cloud asked, his fleeting gaze resting upon the weapon that was prompted near the door.

Zack lifted his head towards it and nodded in agreement.

„Is that why you don’t use it?”

Zack considered changing the topic, but his shoulders relaxed, and he eventually relented, recognizing that he had already said a lot. And it wasn’t like a little bit more was going to do any harm. 

„I don’t feel worthy of it. He left it in my care, certain that I’d be able to carry on his work and yet... how can I? You know, when there is so much doubt in my heart?”

„Is that all there is in there?” Cloud asked, leaning his head quizically towards Zack. „Just doubt?”

Zack shook his head. „No. Of course not.”

„Then how about you focus on the other stuff instead? Your convictions will never lead you astray, was it?”

Zack closed his eyes, allowing the bouquet of feelings that he associated with those words wash over him like the brisk rains of a torrid Gongagan summer. 

„Dreams and honor...”

Cloud nodded mutely, relieved to see Zack slowly regaining his distinctive glow.

„Hold onto that, so that we can see this through and then...then we will figure the rest out. Alright?”

Zack stood upright, eyes narrowed as his gaze beamed unrelentingly onto Cloud.

„What-what is it?” he asked, suddenly feeling strangely apprehensive.

„We... you just said _we_.”

„Did I?” Cloud gulped and went to brush the back of his head with his fingers. „Well, ah... yeah, I suppose I did.”

Zack lowered his head and grabbed onto Cloud’s arms with his hands, fastening his grip relentlessly onto him.

„Thank you...”

Cloud blinked repeatedly, Zack’s approach startling him. „What for?”

„Everything... for you... for accepting me,” he offered, voice quivering ever so slightly under the intensity of the sincere emotions that befell him.

„Now you are just being silly,” Cloud followed and wrapped his arms around Zack, pulling him in a tender embrace. „That’s something I should say.”

Zack pulled away from Cloud but pressed his hands on his shoulders. He then brought his gaze up and staring into Cloud’s eyes, he spoke, now sounding thoroughly unnerved. „Can I kiss you?” 

Cloud frowned. „How come you are asking this all of a sudden?”

Zack pouted and darted his eyes to the side, hands still fastened on Cloud’s shoulders, as though reticent at the thought of speaking his mind out loud out of fear that it might sound a bit too childish.

„Is it because of Tifa?” 

Zack rolled his eyes. „It might be.”

„Jealous much?” he scoffed. „Come on, I bet you also have somebody like that in your life.”

„What makes you say that?” Zack’s face twitched slightly, surprised in a way to see the certainty with which Cloud was speaking.

„Just a hunch,” Cloud shrugged and lowered his gaze.

„While there are some people I hold dear,” Zack offered and brought Cloud’s eyes up to meet his with a gentle nudge of his fingers against his chin, „there’s nobody I treasure more than you. And that’s not going to change. No matter what, you hear me?”

„Yeah,” Cloud said and leaned towards him, the temptation of his lips too great to resist any longer. „I hear you.”

* * * * *

„Come on, Zack. You have to wake up.”

Zack groaned under Cloud’s hand. But no matter how much Zack wanted for Cloud to let him sleep even a few minutes more, the blond was persistent in the forceful way he was nudging him awake. 

„What...why? What time is it?” he mumbled before gripping his pillow and hiding his face in it.

„Tifa is downstairs.”

„That’s fine. She can hang out with us if she wants to...” he spoke, not entirely aware of what he was saying.

Cloud groaned and took a step away from the bed, only to cross his hands on his chest.

„It might be about Sephiroth.”

Zack stood upright so quickly he came to startle Cloud. He then fumbled his way out of bed, all sleepiness having vanished from his weary body. With his boots barely fastened, Zack jumped out the door, leaving Cloud behind to his own devices.

„Hey there,” Zack greeted the girl as he was making his way down the stairs.

„Zack, I heard some rumors,” Tifa spoke, skipping over any formalities. „A couple of villagers spotted Sephiroth at the Shinra manor.”

„The Shinra manor?” Zack frowned, unaware that there was such a place in Nibelheim. „Lead the way,” he spoke but stopped before taking another step. „Ah, no, wait, let me fetch...” 

Zack then turned only to see Cloud approaching. His timing was a bit too precise, and if Zack were to guess, he’d think Cloud had been listening in to their brief conversation. But Zack didn’t mind because he wouldn’t want to proceed without him anyway. Feeling more at ease with him by his side, Zack then turned towards Tifa, a smile lining his lips. 

„We’re right behind you.”

They walk side by side, Tifa a bit in front of them, an evident uneasy tension between them. It had been a day since Zack saw Sephiroth. He wasn’t sure exactly what they would be met with once they found him, because the last time Zack was with Sephiroth, he wasn’t acting like himself. Zack was left to wonder if the haze that shrouded Sephiroth’s mind had dispelled or... if, by some misfortune, it had worsened.

The closer they got to the massive Shinra mansion, Zack got to see that it wasn’t the most welcoming place. No wonder everybody avoided it or put it in the back of their minds. And judging by the ruinous state, it had long been abandoned. 

„It’s probably for the best that you wait here,” Zack said as they stopped before the mansion.

Tifa huffed, faintly annoyed, and stopped. Cloud threw her a glance but understood Zack’s decision to keep her out of harm’s way and went on to follow in his footsteps.

„Both of you,” Zack then clarified and redirected his gaze towards Cloud. 

Cloud tensed up and opened his mouth with the intent to contest Zack’s suggestion. However, he had a quick change of heart once he remembered his place in the military hierarchy. Zack was still his superior, and regardless of his personal feelings, he had to follow his order. 

While it hadn’t been his intention from the start, Zack knew he did the right thing by leaving Tifa and Cloud behind. He had no idea what he would be getting himself into once he stepped into the Shinra mansion, and the last thing he wanted was to put anybody else at risk. 

The halls of the Shinra mansion were filed with dry and stale air, dust, and a lot of eerie sounds and noises, all common signs of abandonment in Zack’s eyes. And as he was making his way through some corridors, Zack couldn’t help but wonder what he would do once he found Sephiroth. Or what kind of version of Sephiroth he would find, for that matter. Because the one he got used to seeing during their time at the barracks wasn’t the same, he interacted with at the Nibelheim Mako Reactor. At that point, it was safe to say that there were so many faces to Sephiroth that Zack saw himself having to give up on keeping track of them.

However, while Zack had long made peace with the fact that Sephiroth might never see him as a friend, let alone an equal, he had to trust that they had something to relate to. Some common ground upon which they could stand and converse as SOLDIERs, as people who answered to Shinra.

With that set in his mind, Zack was able to continue his search of the abandoned mansion. And it wasn’t until he reached its lower levels that Zack could finally distinguish some noises. Shallow breathes, faint murmurs, echos of footsteps—it had to be him.

The basement was indeed the place where Sephiroth had found refuge and where Zack finally stumbled upon him, surrounded by piles upon piles of books, documents, and manuscripts. Abandoning any hesitation, Zack pressed forward, marching past bookshelves and discarded texts, looking to get as close to Sephiroth as possible. And along his march, Zack couldn’t help but distinguish specific names and signatures that kept appearing and repeating on the documents. A particular professor Gast as well as... Jenova.

„Sephiroth...” Zack muttered once he saw the silver-haired hero pacing the room, eyes scanning over a book he was holding.

But there was no reply. It was almost like Sephiroth hadn’t even noticed him. Or perhaps, that was the intention he wanted to convey. 

„Sephiroth, we need to talk,” Zack pressed and watched as he lifted his hand towards him.

„Now is not a good time.”

Zack clenched his fist, unwilling to accept Sephiroth’s dismissive attitude any longer. Not to mention, how calm he was. Almost uncaring, as though what had happened at the Reactor, was something that could be overlooked, dismissed, along with Genesis’ abrupt appearance. 

„I would like to be alone,” Sephiroth said, his voice monotone, and finally turned his back on Zack.

There was a part of Zack that wanted nothing more than to persist, to yell, scream, taunt the SOLDIER—anything to provoke a reaction in him. However, even if he did all that, Zack was left to wonder if Sephiroth would react in any way at all. Considering his stillness and unfazed demeanor, in those moments, Sephiroth resembled a stone wall more than an actual person. 

Swallowing his pride, Zack closed his eyes and came to terms with the fact that he was in no position to make any demands. Sephiroth had already decided as to how he wanted to proceed with their mission, and there was little Zack could do to force him to reconsider. And because of that, Zack had to take charge, and oversee the rest of their mission. Or at least, until Sephiroth snapped out of that abrupt and alarming mindstate that took over him entirely.

* * * * *

After the events that unfolded at the reactor, nobody reported any sightings of Genesis. It was as though he had vanished into thin air. As for his mission, whether he completed it or not, there was no way of knowing for certain. Maybe Sephiroth might know something, but he wasn’t willing to give out any information on the matter as of yet. And since the reactor’s integrity had been assured as a result of their investigation, officially, Shinra’s endeavor in Nibelheim had been concluded.

Zack instructed the other two infantrymen to return to the barracks as soon as he and Cloud came back to the inn. Zack saw it as his duty to remain behind and not only oversee Sephiroth’s safety but also wait for him to escort him back safely to base, regardless if he wanted his assistance or not. Zack wasn’t going to allow Genesis to make another appearance and not answer for his actions. And since Sephiroth seemed to be the one he wanted, maybe staying close to Sephiroth would, in a way, ensure that Zack would meet Genesis again.

„You know you are free to go back with them if that’s what you want,” Zack informed Cloud as the other two infantrymen were preparing for their departure.

„And risk you getting lost in Nibelheim?” Cloud shook his head. „That would be very irresponsible of me, even if I am just a mere foot soldier.”

„A cute foot soldier,” Zack felt the need to specify.

Cloud elbowed him swiftly, terrified as their colleagues were but a few steps in front of them. He held his breath for a long moment, waiting as though to see if any of them caught Zack’s words, but since none of them reacted, Cloud eventually gave up his defensive posture.

Zack snickered and then leaning towards him, he offered sincerely. „Thank you, though. I appreciate it.”

„There’s nothing to thank me for,” Cloud exhaled and crossed his arms on his chest. „Although incredibly reckless, something tells me you’d do the same.”

„You bet,” Zack replied firmly. „But don’t worry, we’ll also head back as soon as Sephiroth is done with his research.”

The soldiers shortly turned to Zack to exchange some parting words. And after saluting respectfully, they began putting distance between them and Nibelheim.

* * * * *

„Zack.”

„Zack?”

„Zack!” Cloud called out as his breath hitched. 

Zack hastily lifted his head from behind Cloud’s neck. „What’s wrong?” 

„Your hands...”

„What about them?”

„Where are you touching?” Cloud shuddered, as a shiver meandered through his body when Zack’s adventurous hands plunged dangerously low under his navel.

Cloud mewled and tried to move on his stomach, but Zack’s sturdy arms were holding him in place, tightly wrapping around his waist. Zack dipped his fingers underneath his waistband, petting over the front of his pants, fingers a bit too playful and lively the longer they lingered there. And it wasn’t until Zack grabbed him that a deep breathless groan escaped the blond. Cloud’s eyes flew open, and he quickly brought his hands upward, covering his mouth to muffle all the noises he couldn’t seem to contain through sheer willpower.

„Come on,” Zack pleaded tenderly and lifted a hand to Cloud’s arm, nudging it away from his face. „Please, let me hear you.”

„No, it’s too... embarrassing.”

„It’s not,” Zack purred against the base of Cloud’s throat, breathing him in and licking his nape greedily. „Oh, I could listen to you forever.”

Zack’s hot tongue and wet mouth kept venturing relentlessly around his neck, in a passionate attempt to coax Cloud into relaxing. And Zack could pinpoint the exact moment when he succeeded in his mission because he could feel Cloud’s heartbeat speeding up and his moans deepening.

„Are you going to bite me?”

Zack huffed, his voice heated and lustful against Cloud’s skin. „Do you want me to?”

Cloud rolled his eyes, fighting the reddening of his cheeks but to no avail. Although he took comfort in knowing that not only was it dark in their room because of the late hours of the night but also because Zack was behind him so at least he couldn’t make out the lust that was glistening in his eyes. 

„Don’t leave any marks.” 

„Ah, I see,” Zack murmured between the long sloppy kisses he scattered around the nape of Cloud’s neck, „so you like that.” 

Cloud didn’t reply, but he didn’t have to. His body was giving Zack all the signals to know how to make Cloud feel good. Not to mention, that he had given Zack’s hands free rein to wander anywhere and everywhere he desired. And that thought alone was making Zack’s mouth water uncontrollably. 

Spurred on by his desire to keep exploring, Zack made his way under Cloud’s shirt and ran a hand down stomach until he reached the line of his pants once more. 

„Does it feel that good?” Zack asked, teasingly rolling his hips behind the blond.

Cloud couldn’t help but moan in surprise when he felt Zack’s clothed erection grind against him. Soon after he started a rhythm, Zack buried his face in Cloud’s throat and dragged his teeth against his neck, nibbling at the skin, each nip lasting a bit longer than the previous one. Cloud shuddered, wanting nothing more than to thurst his tongue deep in his mouth, but since it was out of reach, Cloud rocked his hips against Zack’s crotch. 

Lured by the daring gesture, Zack grabbed him by his waist and pulled Cloud hard against him, which not only made him groan but also brought forth another savagely exquisite breath of pleasure from the blond. Fastening Cloud in place against his heated body, Zack then thrust his fingers beyond the edge of his waistband once more, and with meek albeit slightly vigorous strokes, he drew him out.

„Zack,” Cloud barely called out through the delirious state the pleasure pulled him in and petted behind him. „You too...”

„There's nothing wrong with being greedy once in a while, you know,” Zack spoke and rutted himself into Cloud, his weight pressing onto him so that Cloud could feel him in his entirety. „Just focus on feeling good.” 

Zack tightened his hand around Cloud and tried to keep himself in check, despite the way his stomach kept twisting with growing pleasures under Cloud’s sweet gasps and sultry whimpers. Cloud jolted unruly as a surge of heat overtook him when Zack suddenly sped up the rhythm of his hand along his length. He was relentless in his action, and Cloud suddenly felt overwhelmed, only then realizing how close he was to coming undone. 

„I, ah, I can’t.... Zack, you need to slow down.”

„Not gonna happen,” he warned playfully before sinking his teeth hungrily into his heated flesh.

Cloud went to sway his head to the side, as though in search of Zack’s lips, desperate for a kiss, but he was too engulfed in the fervor of their intimacy to dictate his gestures. The only thing Cloud was aware of was Zack’s heavy, firm hands and arms around him and how tightly they pressed and held onto him, Zack’s grip on him nothing short of delirious. With the last bit of willpower he could muster, Cloud pushed back, wishing to feel all of Zack, every line and indentation of his body onto him before he finally gave in to the pleasure. Shuddering, Cloud came into Zack’s hand and then spent, collapsed next to him.

„You ok?” Zack asked and lifted himself up slightly to check on the blond.

Cloud took a moment to make sense of his surroundings before answering, but he eventually nodded. „Wha-what about you?”

„I’ll be fine,” Zack forced in deep breaths as he cleaned his hands on some tissues. „Need to go on patrol anyway.”

Cloud blinked. „And how is that going to help?”

„Exercise calms me down,” Zack explained tersely and stretched his arms out until he could feel all his muscles aching. „I’m not one to miss the confinements of the barracks, but I do miss my training routine.”

„Yeah, I get that,” Cloud offered while staring at him and fought himself briefly before speaking again. „But, you know, I can also help,” he bit his lip as he reached outward with his hand towards Zack’s pants.

Zack’s attention then snapped to Cloud’s hand and grabbed it before it reached him. „Don’t worry about it. You should rest up,” he lowered himself and kissed Cloud on the forehead. „You did so well tonight.”

Cloud frowned, a sudden uneasy feeling swirling its way inside of him. Zack seemed so keen on making him feel good and would stop at nothing to see his mission fulfilled. However, he was quick to refuse him when Cloud wanted to return the favor. 

„Will you be ok while I’m gone?” Zack asked as he began moving away from their shared bed.

„Of course,” Cloud rebuked, struggling to drown his frustration. „I’ll keep watch in the meantime.”

„Call me if you miss me,” Zack said as he pulled his boots on. „And I’ll come back before you know it.”

Cloud groaned dismissively and turned to lay on his back. He wasn’t going to give Zack the satisfaction to see him flustered. Not when he found it so easy to refuse him.

„Just don’t get lost. I won’t come to rescue you.”

„It’s fine, I know you will,” Zack winked confidently before vanishing through the door, leaving behind a somewhat conflicted, but satisfied Cloud.

While the bright full moon was his only guiding light that dark starless night, Zack didn’t feel like he needed anything else. His patrol was quiet, just as he had expected it would be, and in a way, it helped him finally accept that Nibelheim did indeed have a strange effect on people. Because it began to affect him too, and strangely, he wasn’t so hostile towards it anymore. 

Despite the hurt and confusion, the doubt and the regret, Zack found himself endeared towards the small mountain village. Because during the time he was there, he felt free like never before. There were no constraints of tall metal walls forced upon him, and he was given a brief window of opportunity to explore his feelings, instead of bottling them up and shoving them on top of mountains of other repressed memories and emotions, as he was taught to do throughout his formative years a cadet. Perhaps leaving Shinra and everything behind him, if only for a couple of days, wasn’t such a bad idea after all.

* * * * *

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> ~ and there it is! 
> 
> Please, please, please forgive my excitement for writing such a monster of a chapter, and I will try to do my best for future chapters to be smaller. I am putting everyone through some serious reading sessions. Feel free to express your pleasure/displeasure in the comments below ♡
> 
> Speaking of comments, **THANK YOU SO MUCH FOR THEM!!!** I̶ ̶r̶e̶a̶d̶ ̶t̶h̶e̶m̶ ̶o̶n̶l̶y̶ ̶1̶0̶ ̶t̶i̶m̶e̶s̶ ̶e̶v̶e̶r̶y̶ ̶t̶i̶m̶e̶ ̶I̶ ̶s̶e̶e̶ ̶a̶ ̶n̶e̶w̶ ̶o̶n̶e̶ ̶p̶o̶s̶t̶e̶d̶ and I find them extremely helpful when deciding on what I should focus on writing for the next chapters. So one way or another, _you_ , my dear readers, play a crucial part in the development of this story!
> 
> Hope you will stick around for future chapters~
> 
> I am also on [Tumblr](https://nightyelfy.tumblr.com/)!


	10. Chapter 10

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> They spent six days together in Nibelheim after Sephiroth's retreat to the Shinra Manor.
> 
> 6 days (!!!) in which _nothing_ (???) happened *looking at you, official sources*
> 
> (/∇＼*)
> 
> Enjoy~ Also [Tumblr](https://nightyelfy.tumblr.com/)

Zack would often be caught staring at the Shinra mansion through the inn’s windows, looking as though praying for a sign. Something to indicate that Sephiroth was ready to come back and tend to his duties. Talk to him. Anything at all. 

Regardless of how intensely Zack gazed in the ruinous building’s direction, rarely anything significant ever seemed to happen. The only light emanating from within was still the one coming from the basement. From the place in which Sephiroth locked himself, diligently studying every document, book, and parchment like a man in search of something so specific, Zack dreaded to think what would happen if he never came to find it.

„Any change?” Cloud asked that quiet evening and stopped beside Zack in front of the glass windows.

He faintly shook his head. „Still nothing.”

„What has gotten into him anyway?” Cloud said in a low voice and then retreated. „Ah, sorry! I-I didn’t mean to be disrespectful.” 

The blond’s eyes were big, only then realizing how casually he had been speaking. He feared he made their predicament seem as if they were a bunch of friends on a trip in the mountains and not highly trained soldiers supervising the elaborate research of another.

„Don’t worry about it,” Zack excused nonchalantly and grabbed hold of his hand, looking to reassure Cloud that keeping up with formalities at that point was useless, not even he having enough patience to put up with the roles that were slowly but surely losing their meaning. „As it stands, your guess is as good as mine. Whether it was something he saw at the reactor or Genesis told him... it’s almost like he is possessed.”

„It might just be a passing thing,” Cloud offered and squeezed onto Zack’s hand.

„Perhaps. But the light in his eyes...” Zack frowned, the image of his last meeting with the silver-haired hero flashing vividly in his mind. „It changed.”

They both stayed next to each other until the moon was high above them, silently, their breaths the only ones to perturb that night’s stillness. And during that entire time, there wasn’t a moment in which Zack loosened his grip on Cloud’s hand. It was as though that was where it belonged, and it hadn’t even crossed his mind that letting go of him was an option. 

However, Cloud was attentive at everything around him and just as curious, albeit careful in showing it. And because of the time they had been spending together, he had become efficient at spotting the worry Zack was harboring even if the First Class SOLDIER was an expert at keeping his emotions behind a thick curtain of military discipline and endurance. 

„Hey,” Cloud called out softly, as not to startle him and brought his free hand up to Zack’s shoulder when he turned to face him, „maybe you should call it a night.”

„Tired of me already?” Zack snorted playfully.

„Yeah, that’s it,” Cloud allowed and approached him slightly, not entirely hugging him but just enough to feel the warmth of his body. „You should get some sleep. There’s no point for both of us to be exhausted in the morning.”

That pragmatic side of Cloud had always been something Zack admired. Although he could feel concern pooling through him, at that point in the late-night, it wasn’t like Zack had any energy to refute him. Even he knew when to recognize he needed to rest. With a self-encouraging exhale, Zack then pressed his free hand on his knee and finally stood up.

„I will agree to your terms,” Zack allowed loftily, yet his eyes softened once he met the blond’s gaze. „But only if you come in a bit too.” 

„I’ll give it a few more hours,” Cloud flushed and pulled back.

Zack licked his lips suggestively and turned after him. „I was thinking more like a few more minutes.” 

„That would make me a lousy look-out.”

„It’s no fun sleeping alone,” Zack grunted and tugged at his hand.

„It’s not meant to be fun,” Cloud reprimanded. „You’re supposed to rest.” 

Zack clicked his tongue, seeing as there was no winning the argument. „Just lay next to me when you come, otherwise,” he paused momentarily, „I _will_ crawl in your bed.”

Although his cheeks were still flushed in red, Cloud nodded his head at that prospect. In a way, he knew that Zack would make that invitation, and was even more aware that he wouldn’t be inclined to refuse him. Even if having to squeeze in the bed next to him wasn’t the best way to rest, Zack was so warm, and sleeping beside him was so comforting, there was nowhere else Cloud would rather be during the night. 

However, because he had been beside Zack for so many nights now, Cloud became privileged to another of Zack’s quirks. During the time he was asleep when his guard was at its lowest, Zack was... different. The laid back, confident and optimistic aura vanished, and instead of it, a restless, perilous, and strained one slowly seeped into him, unabated in the way it advanced towards his heart and manifested itself. Yet, the whole transformation did not come to alarm Cloud as much as he thought it might. And after giving it some thought, it even began making sense, especially when looking back at how reckless Zack was towards his sleeping schedule and his inherent desire to avoid it. 

„You know...,” Cloud found himself saying, and Zack perked up, an inquisitive brow quirked in the blond’s direction, „ you talk in your sleep.”

Zack’s face visibly took on a baffled glow. It was more than evident that he had no idea that was the case. While his heart became tempted to take on a faster rhythm to coincide with his growing sense of worry, he still couldn’t place the kind of words his subconscious spewed out. 

„It’s like... you have a lot of dreams,” Cloud followed, his eyes quietly searching Zack’s face for answers he knew would not be there. „Or should I say, nightmares.”

„I’m sorry,” Zack spoke, tempering his anguished tone. „If it’s hard to sleep with me, maybe we should get separate rooms... Since they are vacant now.”

He lowered his head, clenching his jaw, regretful, in a way, of what he had just said. Zack knew he had way too many things on his mind. Perhaps that was why sleeping never came easy to him. Not to mention how things only kept piling up ever since Angeal passed away. 

„Is that what you want?” Cloud asked, faint shadows of worry lining his face.

„No, not at all. I’m just thinking about you. Sleep is important, and if you can’t rest because of me, then, Cloud—”

„I’d be better if you’d talk,” Cloud said, and breaking the hold of their hands, he turned his back to Zack. „Instead of holding everything inside of you.”

Stunned, Zack couldn’t do anything but stare at him as Cloud fixated his eyes upon the Shinra mansion. Swallowing around his sorrow, and with an unsteady hand, Zack reached out for the blond.

„Cloud, um...about that.”

„It’s fine. At your own pace,” Cloud intervened bluntly the moment Zack’s hand pressed against his back. „Now, go rest.”

„Right,” Zack mumbled and allowed his hand to fall to his side. „Goodnight, then.”

Zack dragged himself back to their shared room, his chest tight and breathing uneven. After closing the door behind him, he leaned against it and lowered his head in his palms. 

All that time, Zack thought he was doing a good job pretending he was fine, that he was untouchable, that nothing terrible ever reached him or affected him in any way—it was more or less all a rouse through which Cloud saw without any sort of hindrance. Cloud almost made it look easy. 

There was no doubt that Zack felt guilty for his clumsiness, but what stung more was the thought that in the end, he came to disappoint Cloud. That he was putting Cloud through all sorts of nonsense. As if they didn’t have enough to deal with already. And all this while Zack seemed determined that he wanted to change, that he wanted to be better and do better. But just as with anything else, change didn’t come easy. 

He _knew_ that.

And in the process of evaluating his stance with himself, Zack found that between good intentions and wishful thinking, there were also nebulous tethers of contempt. Of himself, for himself. 

Through all the patience, strength, and support Cloud had shown him, Zack began tempted to feel that Cloud might’ve been... too good for him. And maybe there was a part of him that always knew that was the case. 

That he didn’t deserve him. 

Yet, Zack couldn’t help himself but want him. To have him and keep him close because ultimately, Cloud turned out to be the only source of light and stability in his life. 

„Selfish ’til the very end,” Zack growled lowly and threw himself in the bed, placing a pillow on top of his head as though to hide from the world and perhaps, most of all, from himself.

* * * * *

The morning light seemed tireless in the way it was filtering through the broad windows overlooking his bed. Zack tried to fight it away, but there was no denying its persistence. He scrunched his eyes together in the last attempt to conquer it but eventually was compelled to accept his predicament.

Zack had to wake up and attend to his tasks. And while they were quick to instill themselves inside of him, what he found before his eyes jolted him awake quicker than any agonizing alarm or bold ray of sunlight. Because right there, with his head resting delicately on his chest, Cloud laid sleeping. 

Zack’s heart stuttered, and his breath stopped somewhere in his throat because, for a long bundle of moments, he was caught, frozen in time, staring at what felt was the most beautiful sight that had ever been bestowed upon him. 

Dream or not, it was right then that Zack made sense of a few fundamental truths and daring presumptions. And one of them was just how fast and how hard he had fallen for Cloud—for that blond rookie who with nothing but steady soft and sweet intakes of breath had him pinned down, wrapped around his finger as though a piece of cloth in the turbulence of a late-autumn breeze.

The blond was so relaxed, enthralled by the peace in his mind, lulled by a pleasant dream that the contour of his face kept glittering in the sunlight, making him more golden, continually dazzling. As if he weren’t already perfect. 

And because of that peace in which he found himself, Zack dared to reckon that maybe... Cloud had no intention of giving up on him. Despite his clumsiness, despite his unhurried way of dealing with his issues, Cloud... still wanted to stick by him. 

As Zack’s heart restarted its thudding in his chest, unknowingly, somewhere along the way, it also took on a faster rhythm, the whirlwind of emotions inside of him eager to manifest themselves in any way they could. Especially when the light of the sun turned gentle in its way as it rested upon Cloud’s face, illuminating those features that Zack adored so much.

A rough groan escaped the depths of Cloud’s throat as he squeezed his eyes. After delivering a calculated punch to Zack’s chest, Cloud rose from his sleeping spot and pushed himself on his side. 

„Separate rooms,” he muttered and threw a pillow over his head.

„Now, now, you are just morning grouchy,” Zack rushed and turned to wrap an arm around the blond. „You should’ve seen your face... you were absolutely stunning. Like some sort of morning angel. But like all the time. So, pretty much a regular angel.”

Lifting the pillow from over his head, Cloud then broke free from the embrace with a rapid nudge. Since Zack’s senses were fully awake, he saw the clumsy retaliation and instinctively retreated. What he didn’t expect, however, was for Cloud to continue in his drowsy attempt at vengeance, and after seizing the moment, he pushed Zack off the bed. The ebony-haired SOLDIER then fell to the wooden floor with a loud thud.

„Alright, message received,” Zack huffed as he rubbed his lower back, amused by the blond’s reaction. „Feel free to sleep as much as you want, though. I’ll take care of the morning patrol.”

Zack got ready in silence, careful as he didn’t want to disturb the blond who seemed to have fallen asleep once more in the comfort of his bed. After fastening his sword on his back, Zack was about to leave, eyes set on the door when he peered behind him. His chest warmed with reignited want when he remembered that he had been beside Cloud for yet another night, and he didn’t even know it. And in that moment of weighing his feeling, a forceful urge overcame him. 

Not one to reject his instincts, Zack approached the bed, and after warily leaning over the blond, he began spreading a plentitude of kisses on Cloud’s face, his lips often resting against his pale, sun-warmed skin longer than he had intended. But it wasn’t like Zack could move himself away at that point. He was way too smitten to oppose the desire to shower the blond with even a fragment of his affection.

„Are you serious?” Cloud grumbled and swatted him away with his arm.

„I’m having my fill,” Zack dodged the strike and stole a couple more kisses from him. „You can’t blame me, I don’t wanna miss my chance again.”

With the corner of his eye, Zack saw that Cloud lifted his arm, and for a moment, he was confident the blond was going push him away once more. Zack closed his eyes reflexively but stood his ground. 

Instead of being forced to the side, however, Cloud reached out with his hand, and after placing it on the side of Zack’s head, he pulled him down towards him. Cloud held Zack there, against his head, for a couple of blissfully tender moments, the sloppy attempt at a hug ending up being something Zack didn’t think he needed but welcomed wholeheartedly.

After being released from the hold, Zack was barely able to make his way across the room, his knees still slightly weak from the aftermath of Cloud’s affection. 

„Be careful out there today.” 

His foot was almost out the door when Zack heard Cloud speaking from the comfort of his bed. Zack smirked as he closed his eyes, enjoying the sensation of his heart settling in his chest, wrapped around the comfort of those words.

„I’ll see you at midday,” Zack threw him a smile from across the room. „By the water tower.”

* * * * *

Although bearing a clear patrol route in mind, Zack took liberties with it. There were some things he needed to take care of and felt that he could combine his two distinct, although not necessarily unrelated duties. As he ventured through town, Zack stopped by the market and did the necessary purchases, a smile always on his face, much to the delight of those who interacted with him.

And it wasn’t until he was crossing the boundary of the shadow of the Shinra manor’s perimeter that Zack came to recognize that it harnessed the same pressing atmosphere as the reactor did. While he wasn’t entirely sure if that was something only he felt or was made to feel due to his hapless experience with both places, Zack didn’t perceive it as a reason to fear it. He had to stick to the duty he imposed on himself and, as such, crossed the distance between its tall gate and the doorstep. 

Zack took back the food he had neatly folded in cloth and left there the previous day and placed a fresh packet in its stead. He then unfastened the wrapping and checked it diligently. Unfortunately, it was just as he thought—its contents hadn’t been touched.

„You will eat when you get hungry,” Zack muttered as he carelessly wrapped the packet of food once more. „You smug, silver-haired bas—” 

„You are quite a good guy.”

Nearly jumping out of his skin, Zack choked on the rest of his words. He then whipped around, downright startled by the sound of a voice which wasn’t his. 

„Oh, Tifa,” Zack chuckled nervously upon seeing her pleasant expression. „How-how have you been? I mean, apart from following me around town. Again.”

Tifa shrugged. „Old habit and all that,” she allowed and then with small steps made her way towards him. „You know, I can do that for you,” she offered, her eyes falling on the bundle of food Zack was holding onto with both hands.

„Thanks... but I’d rather not put this sort of responsibility on your shoulders,” Zack said, slightly flustered. „Everybody’s been going through some weird times lately, and well... friends need to stick together no matter what.”

„Is that what he is to you?” Tifa’s brows furrowed gently as she leaned forward towards Zack, looking to catch every expression that he’d allow across his face. „A friend?”

Zack remained still and thought for a moment. Tifa was probably sure that he would come to hate Sephiroth for his behavior and, most of all, for his sudden and odd abandonment. But that wasn’t the case. They were still bound by duty, and despite the air of uncertainty with which everything was happening, there was something within Zack that would yet have him cling to Sephiroth. To the last faint reminder of some good old days. Zack was nostalgic like that, and he couldn’t see himself letting go. Not yet, at least. And particularly not so abruptly.

„We fight side by side,” Zack offered, his head high and posture firm. „Regardless of my feelings, he is my brother.”

Tifa was caught watching him with surprise. There was a slight pause in the conversation as both of them took the time to make sense of the implication of those words and how they would proceed from that point on. And it wasn’t until a small smile appeared at the corner of Zack’s mouth that he began approaching Tifa. 

She then flinched, uncertain of what he would choose to do next, but quickly noticed that Zack’s mind was already on other things than the ones they were discussing a moment ago. 

„Just know that I’m grateful for everything, Tifa,” Zack offered before he passed her. „And as always, if you spot anything, be sure to let me know, yeah?”

Tifa hesitated for a moment, but then as though tempted by his steadfast aura, she looked up to meet his eyes. „Of-of course. Stay out of trouble, though, you hear?” she said, trying her best to affect an imposing tone.

„That’s something I should be telling you,” Zack laughed pleasantly and waved as he went on his way somewhere towards the center of town.

* * * * *

Cloud was already at the water tower by the time Zack showed up. If Zack didn’t know any better, he’d guess that Cloud had been a bit too eager to meet up with him and had arrived there much earlier than planned. But Zack couldn’t blame him—he had also been looking forward to catching up to Cloud even if it had only been a couple of hours since they last saw each other.

„Everything alright?” Cloud looked in Zack’s direction, only to be met with a broad smile and an excited wave of the hand.

„Yeah,” Zack allowed and stopped next to him. „You?”

„The same,” he answered and took a moment before speaking. „Think it’s too early for a lunch break?”

„Not at all,” Zack turned, another smile quick to shine off his lips. „Come, I know a place,” he then nudged his head, motioning for Cloud to follow.

Zack caught onto that habit of Cloud’s to always stay a few steps behind and would often slow his stride or find any excuse to stall, and all so that they could walk side by side if even for a few moments. By the time they began hiking up the hill overlooking the villagers’ gardens, they were by each other’s side, Cloud having given up on his attempt to keep some respectful distance from Zack. The only reason he had been doing it up until that point was to keep up with appearances, but maybe it was just as Zack had said—there was little point to their role-playing. Or, at least until Sephiroth came back.

With the cedar tree in sight, Cloud took a moment to investigate around him before removing his helmet. Although careful in his approach, he knew Zack would catch up with his furtive investigation, and sure enough, he did. Because he could see Zack often checking on him, as though intrigued to see how he was going to act depending on his surroundings. And while staying hidden from the townsfolk was still something Cloud wanted, he was doing his best to be at ease, or at lease, to appear that he was. 

The two shared the food they had with them, and even if Cloud was sure that Zack would be excited at the thought of not only eating together but also getting to see him without the helmet, he noticed how Zack was finding it hard to focus. A bit too many thoughts roaming around his head again. Slightly reluctant to share any words with him, which was rather unusual. A quiet Zack was never a good sign.

Cloud knew that it wasn’t like him to linger so much on his thoughts, so maybe his patrol wasn’t as uneventful as he said it was. But regardless of his suspicions, Cloud didn’t want to insist on the matter. So instead, he chose to focus on his food, but he soon found that it wasn’t as tasty as he had anticipated it would be. Clearly, Zack’s mood had turned out to have a significant influence on him. Cloud didn’t like to see him so distant.

„So, which one is yours?” 

Cloud blinked as his gaze refocused on the man beside him. 

„House, I mean,” Zack followed, seeing the confusion etched in his wide blue eyes.

„That one there, behind the water tank with the double doors,” Cloud finally spoke and pointed to a house with a red rooftop with Zack closely following his every move. „And Tifa... she lives next door. Over there.”

„So childhood friends and neighbors,” Zack mumbled nervously. „Damn, and here I thought I had no reason to be jealous.”

„I wasn’t always close with Tifa, you know,” Cloud allowed, a certain detachment to his tone. „There was a time when because of how much I hated her friends, I didn’t like her either. They were loud, immature... they never really looked my way.” 

Zack bit his lip, Cloud’s words coming as a fretful, devastating realization. For some reason, he always perceived the blond as a bit of a loner, but this side of him was something else. Unknowingly, Zack had stumbled across a source from where a lot of his pain swelled. 

„But then one day, she just.... approached me. And from that point on, she was the only one who talked to me.”

In a way, Zack was surprised by the ease in which Cloud was offering the story. Not that it wasn’t still affecting him, but because... Cloud wanted to share it. Because Cloud trusted him with his burden. 

„There was an incident when we were little...” Cloud resumed, and he brought his hands together, Zack swift to observe how hard he began squeezing on his fingers as the words streamed off his lips. „I wasn’t strong enough to protect her, and she got injured. I remember how terrified I was the whole time I carried her back to town.... of what might happen if she didn’t make it... Her father was so angry with me, he forbade me from approaching her after that.”

Zack’s heart suddenly ached for him. He had no idea Cloud had been shouldering so much sorrow, and in his solitude, pressing forward felt like it was the only option he had regardless of how much pain it brought him. As for his dream of becoming SOLDIER, it now made more sense than ever. 

„For a long time, I wanted to pretend that none of that happened. I wanted to lie to myself and forget the past. And I thought I would be ok...” Cloud offered, and this time around, he wasn’t able to keep worry from his voice. „To go on living like that... With that distance between us.”

„Don’t be so hard on yourself,” Zack said warmly and smiled his way. „You were just a kid. Besides, you already proved that you have what it takes to keep her safe from now on.”

Cloud tried to imitate the smile he was offered, but the pain was still too close to his heart. Despite his best effort, he ended up nodding his head a couple of times, a sincere attempt at holding onto Zack’s words and making them part of him. 

Catching the sadness flitting off the corners of his eyes, however, Zack then leaned back a bit, centering Cloud’s childhood house even better in his view. 

„How about your mom?”

Cloud flinched but didn’t turn. 

„Dunno. Haven’t visited her yet.”

Once again, his stiff reactions and snappy replies were the ones that gave his real feeling away.

„Cloud,” Zack probed, but Cloud simply swallowed, stubbornly refusing to look his way.

His practice restrained wore thin as Zack’s desire to help Cloud rolled in like thunder. With rekindled interest, he then leaned forward and grabbed Cloud by his shirt, looking to pull him towards him. At least that way, he wouldn’t be able to avert his gaze from him any longer.

„Don’t give me that look,” Cloud winced and went to brush his forehead with his palm in a way to hide from Zack, who was now unnervingly close to his face.

„And aren’t you going to visit her?” Zack insisted, eyes deep and intense. „It’s your family, after all. Listen, you don’t have to explain yourself if you don’t want to,” he advised gently. „Just show up, let her see that you are still you, healthy and in one piece, and that’s pretty much it. Everything else... She will understand.”

Cloud raised his head after a long moment, Zack’s persistence ultimately coming to stir him. „Zack... what’s with all this so suddenly?”

„I just want to see you happy.”

Cloud was caught staring at Zack’s beautiful smile as the wind began playing in his hair, his ebony locks diligently following in the afternoon breeze. And if Cloud hadn’t reacted so promptly by hiding his eyes in the tight clasp of his hands, not only would Zack have discerned the clumsy way his heart was skipping but also noted the steady darkening of his pale cheeks. 

„Fine, I’ll...I’ll think about it,” Cloud muttered under his breath. 

„Yeah, atta boy,” Zack cheered and proceeded to pat his back encouragingly.

And in his effort of cheering up the blond, Zack never found the moment to remove his hand from the comfort of his back. He left it there, clinging to him, keen to use any excuse to hold onto him. 

While their lunch break had long been over, neither of them prompted the other to resume their duties. They chose to stay atop the hill, looking over the village of Nibelheim, searching the distance as though for answers whose questions they hadn’t even yet formulated. 

At one point during their time listening to the silence around them, Cloud leaned to the side and went to rest his head on Zack’s shoulder. Enveloped by the distinctive warmth of the blond’s body, Zack reached around with his hand and placed it on Cloud’s arm, pulling him towards him, keeping him steady and close against him.

* * * * *

„What are you doing?” Cloud asked as soon as he came back to their room from his patrol that evening.

Although the blond heard loud screeching and creaking noises coming from their room as soon as he entered the inn, he had no idea what to expect. 

Cloud had been looking forward to taking a nice, long bath once he returned, that evening’s cold breeze somehow making its way through his body, chilling him to the bone. However, now Cloud was faced with something he had not expected and wasn’t sure if he had the energy to dedicate himself to figuring out not only what Zack’s mission was or why he seemed so determined to see it through.

„Improvising,” Zack explained curtly and gave the bed in front of him another forceful nudge. „Perfection,” he announced proudly, and after standing upright, he slapped his hands clean against each other.

Cloud closed the door behind him and approached. He rubbed the back of his neck as he investigated Zack’s work.

„Why did you do this?” he then asked, curious as to the exact reason Zack had moved the nightstand between their beds to the side and had stuck their two beds together.

„So that you won’t push me off again,” Zack laughed, his gaze playful as it moved between Cloud and the beds.

Cloud watched Zack for a long moment. Despite his carefree demeanor, he was almost, _almost_ sure there was more behind that lofty expression. 

„Is that really why?” he asked but shortly afterward regretted it, unsure if he was ready to hear Zack’s truthful answer.

„Well,” Zack smirked a bit and rolled his eyes to distract from his slight embarrassment. „Also, so you won’t have an excuse not to sleep in the same bed. Plus, look at all this space! Come on, don’t tell me you aren’t at least somewhat impressed!”

Cloud shook his head, fighting a smile. „You are terribly clingy, do you know that?”

„Am not!” Zack was quick to protest, but after a brief pause, he resumed. „I mean, perhaps, just a tiny bit,” he even gestured with his fingers and then threw himself on his back on the joint beds. „But then again, who wouldn’t be when they have you by their side? Can’t be too careful, you see.”

Cloud sighed. „What are you honestly afraid might happen?” he followed as he went and sat on the edge of one of the beds, opposite Zack.

„Don’t want to say,” Zack exhaled, spreading his arms on the entire length of their united beds.

„Why not?” Cloud insisted, peering over his shoulder only to see Zack staring at the ceiling.

„Because it might take away from my cool side too much.”

It was true that Zack’s mind had been a bit too preoccupied lately. And while he wouldn’t come to admit it so swiftly, their mission wasn’t taking the spotlight as much as it did during those first days. Because now it was just too full of Cloud and of everything that he meant to him. 

While Zack still didn’t have the proper words to say everything that was swirling inside of him, there was no denying the tender feelings he had growing for Cloud. But unfortunately, they did not come alone. Along with them, there was a type of fear, a hesitation which ultimately spurred on a daunting oscillation within him. Zack recognized that if he were to bind Cloud to himself any more than he already had, then it might deter the blond from pursuing his dream. 

Maybe that was why Zack was so pushy when asking about his childhood home. About Tifa and his mom. There were certain aspects of Cloud’s life he felt like he wanted to know about, but in the end, Zack couldn’t say for sure how much that information helped in calming his soaring heart. Because if nothing else, it made him realize how resolute Cloud still was in his mission. 

Cloud’s dreams had a firm contour around them, and their time in Nibelheim only helped him rediscover that. It was clear that, although having nothing but good intentions, Zack might’ve been too quick to speak the other day when he advised him to stay away from SOLDIER. 

„Oh, so honesty is your biggest enemy now?” Cloud joked, a small smile at the corner of his lips.

„I just don’t want to lose you.” 

Zack’s words echoed in the silence of the room around them. Cloud was caught aback at the sound of their sincerity, and up to a point, so was Zack. For a long moment, he couldn’t believe he had blurted out something so sincere and tensed up, suddenly feeling guarded. 

„I meant it when it said it back then,” he felt forced to continue, his honesty overwhelming his sense of self-preservation. „And I really, really mean it now too.”

He knew he had said too much. However, Cloud deserved to hear where he stood, and if nothing else, he was finally heeding the blond’s words. 

Cloud took in a deep breath of air and then leaned back as well, his head aligning perfectly opposite Zack’s.

„Then fight for me.”

Cloud caught the look of surprise that flashed over Zack’s expression, underlining how big his eyes had gotten as though needing a moment to come to terms with a prospect he had never considered before. And because of the way the silence got amplified between them, Cloud saught to continue speaking, anything to dispel the dumbstruck look on Zack’s face.

„Since fighting is all we know, then... how about we handle things that way?” Cloud explained and brought his fingers up to card attentively through Zack’s hair. „If you fight for me, I will fight for you too.”

Zack swallowed heavily, his eyes diligently watching Cloud’s until he felt his heart steadying and him able to speak once more.

„Yeah, ok,” he murmured and brought his face closer to the blond. „I like the sound of that.” 

„I thought you might,” Cloud followed and bridged the distance between them with a light upside-down kiss.

Although heartfelt, one kiss didn’t feel nearly enough for Zack’s desire of the blond to be sated. With the tips of his fingers resting on the edge of Cloud’s jaw, Zack and then stood upright before him, tenderly inviting him to follow with nothing but a touch. Understanding the unworded plea, Cloud rose after him, and he quickly leaned forward, craving to meet his lips once more. Zack was quick to reply to his gesture and slowly kissed him back, his lips pressing just right against Cloud’s. 

And while Zack held his eyes open, eager to catch the sweet expression Cloud made whenever he kissed him, Cloud was already lost in his mind, cheeks red with warmth and lips trembling with want, the sensation of Zack’s touch always turning out to be his undoing, no matter how tame and delicate it was. 

„So I was thinking...” he started, the corners of his lips taking on some mischievous tones as they curled against Cloud’s. „Since we have the whole inn for ourselves now, we could go to the baths together, and maybe we could...”

Cloud’s body stiffened when Zack’s hand began meandering around his waist. „No chance,” he cut him short and stood up.

„Wait, you don’t even know what I wanted to say,” Zack pleaded, one hand reaching forward to Cloud as he jolted up and began moving away from the bed.

„Zack, it’s not going to happen,” he dismissed with a wave of his hand.

„Hold on, Cloud... at least hear me out first.”

Zack’s words echoed in Cloud’s ear as he took his leave from the room. Cloud even made sure to close the door behind him, thus preventing Zack from following him downstairs to the baths as rapidly as he had initially intended. But it wasn’t like that was going to stop Zack from pursuing the blond and explaining his intentions, regardless of their level of innocence.

* * * * *

The sky was so blue that day that the longer Zack stared at it, the easier it became to mistake it for the sea. Although the image of the vast expanse of water was distinctively painted in his mind ever since his forced exile from Shinra after the events that unfolded at Modeoheim, his imagination was starting to get the better of him.

Zack joined his hands together underneath his head and lifted himself upward slightly so that he can get more comfortable. Taking in a deep breath, he allowed himself to be lulled by the gentle sound that the leaves and grass around him were making when swaying in the day’s capricious breeze as the shadows of the clouds above him came and went, the sun always managing to warm him with its gentle discharge of warmth and light.

The world around him felt pleasant, quiet, and enchanting in such a pure, untainted manner that for a long moment, Zack got entirely absorbed in his surroundings. His mind felt like a vessel, longing to take in anything that the heavens and land had to share with him. And because of how much freedom he had found at those moments, Zack recognized that although pleasant, that state of being might become addicting if he allowed it to grab at him too eagerly, forcefully and wholly. 

„Water?”

The voice surfaced above all other elements, piercing and ultimately conquering them as though it conveyed something of significant importance. And because Zack associated it as belonging to the blond, he immediately understood the reason behind its inherent value.

„Oh, my hero,” Zack stood up and accepted the bottle Cloud handed over.

„Don’t make fun of me,” Cloud huffed and watched as he greedily drank the water.

„I’d never do that,” Zack said after a long moment, wiping his mouth with the side of his hand. 

Cloud sat down beside him and took in a deep breath of air. „I should’ve never shown you this place.”

Zack huffed out a laugh. Although he was so lost in his mind a few moments ago, he came to realize and ultimately appreciate the trouble that the blond had gone through to not only look for him but bring him water as well. And somewhere in the middle of that thought process, Zack also found himself stumbling upon another possibility. Which he saw as incredibly amusing if it were to turn out as truthful. 

„How did you know I was here?”

Cloud shrugged. „I didn’t.”

„Really?” Zack asked and then smirked. „Oh, don’t tell me. You felt like slacking off too?” 

„Is that what you are doing?” Cloud rebuked, a scolding eyebrow raised at him. „Slacking off?”

„Nah,” Zack yelped and resumed his laid back position from before. „I’m keeping watch.”

Cloud frowned and glanced around their surroundings only to be met with pristine, quiet, and empty land. „On the sky?”

„Yeah, there’s something brewing in the distance,” Zack said lazily. „And it’s up to me to figure out and stop it before it’s too late,” he said as though narrating a story that was developing in his mind.

Zack then listened carefully as he heard Cloud breathing out a couple of chuckles. 

„Also, in between all that,” he felt the need to add, and darted a glance at the blond, „I was wondering what a bunch of clouds is called.”

„Seriously...” Cloud muttered mostly for himself and then went to look up at the sky as well, faintly curious as to what Zack found so fascinating about it in the first place.

„A litter?”

„I think that’s cats you are thinking of.”

„A flock?” Zack gasped. „That sounds about right, doesn’t it?”

„That would be birds.”

„A pack.”

„Most definitely wolves.”

„A buttload.”

Cloud exhaled heavily. „That’s the one.”

„Really?” Zack stood upright, surprising himself that he had figured out the answer to his conundrum.

„That’s downright gross,” Cloud gave him a sly look then shook his head utterly defeated. „And not even close.”

„And so... the search continues,” Zack leaned back down his arms fastened behind his head for comfort.

„Speaking of continuing,” Cloud said abruptly and rose from his spot beside Zack so quickly, he thought somebody had pulled him away. „Are you going to slack off the whole day?”

Zack gave a shrug as a reply. „Why? Do you have something you want to do?” he then winked towards him.

„I was thinking,” Cloud crossed his arms on his chest, almost sure that Zack’s mind took him to all sorts of crude places, „since sitting on your ass will definitely be bad for you in the long run, how about a spar?”

„Oh, what is this approaching from the wayside?” Zack stood upright, new energy animating his gestures.

Cloud narrowed his eyes and tilted his head slightly to the side. „Narration again?”

„Finally, a real challenge appears before the hero!” Zack jumped up on his feet, his hand fastened pridefully on his hip.

„The hero...? Zack, you need to stop,” Cloud brought his hand to his forehead and pressed deeply, but more to hide his smile than anything else, Zack’s playfulness outright endearing.

„ _The hero_ accepts your challenge, dear opponent.”

„Dear opponent?” Cloud clicked his tongue. „That’s all you could think of? Not much of a proper introduction.”

Zack tapped his chin with his finger. „Cute opponent,” he offered confidently. 

„You somehow made it worse.”

„So, what are we sparring for?” Zack pressed, reaching out for his sword. „I mean, we don’t need to worry about titles, we already have those. I’m the hero,” he said and eagerly pointed towards himself, „and you are the hero’s cute opponent slash romantic interest.”

„How about dinner?” Cloud smirked, doing his best to ignore Zack’s theatrical take on their exhibition match. „Don’t get me wrong, but I am starting to miss canteen food.”

Zack chocked on a laugh. „Now, that’s a weird statement to make.”

„I mean... a warm meal.”

Gasping loudly, Zack’s expression was quick lit up. „A date...” 

„Da-date?! No, a meal!” Cloud stumbled and corrected. „I said meal!”

„Your challenge has been accepted, cute opponent. The loser takes the winner out on a date!” Zack announced and threw Cloud a firm look. „Now, let’s see what you’re made of,” he smiled, and the glow in his eyes changed drastically.

And that was how Cloud knew he was serious. The transformation happened a bit too fast, and while Cloud wasn’t entirely sure what ignited him so quickly, it wasn’t like he was given any time to think. By the time his hands reached his sword, Zack was already charging at him. Cloud dodged, and almost lost his footing because of the swift movement but recovered and used the momentum to strike back.

Zack’s eyebrows shot up, excited by the blond’s rapid dodge. His attention refocused when he turned around. Cloud had his sword defensively turned towards him, and Zack huffed, knowing he didn’t wasn’t going to waste another second once faced with the invitation to engage once more. 

Zack was just getting started, and the opposition the blond presented was nothing short of exciting. Calculated turns and reengages, precise attacks, and misdirecting movements were all spurring Zack, taunting him to engage in the display of force and talent, and in those moments, his interest couldn’t have been more piqued. He needed something like that to get his blood pumping again, and it was then that he got reminded how good of a sparring opponent Cloud was. All that time spent training outside in the courtyard and in the simulator was showing. With exciting results, among other things.

„Fancy footwork there,” Zack praised and panting, took a step back. „It’s almost like whoever taught you was a master at it himself.”

„You’re praising yourself,” Cloud spoke between rushed intakes of breath.

„Well, it was that impressive,” Zack scoffed and gestured suggestively with his eyebrows. „I deserve it.”

It was Cloud’s turn to attack, and he could feel his heartbeat quickening at the excitement the prospect in front of him presented him with. Because he found an opening in Zack’s defense. And if he were to act then and there, he could make his attack count. He knew he could do it. There was no way Zack would be able to react in time. 

Cloud had him. 

He would win.

„As I told you back then too... it’s all in the footwork,” Zack concluded dramatically as he retracted his leg from under Cloud’s feet.

And that was it. The move that ended their match so abruptly Cloud found himself blinking from the ground, for a long moment, unable to recall how exactly he ended up there.

„I almost had you,” he spoke through his astonishment at the sudden turn of events. 

„Almost,” Zack snickered and leaned down, offering his hand. „Up, up,” he instructed the blond.

Cloud accepted his hand and rose from the ground, Zack’s grip firm and strong as it held onto him.

„Rematch?” Cloud asked, his eyes glowing as beads of sweat were steadily making their way down his forehead.

Zack cocked his head, teasingly towards the blond before fastening his hand on his sword’s handle. „You really want this date to happen, huh?”

* * * * *

The following evening came with an unexpected air of festivity. As Zack watched from atop the hill, his eyes carefully following the movement around the town’s market, he quickly pieced together that the frenzy that had engrossed the villagers was related to the celebration of some sort of event. And it must’ve been quite significant considering the joy on everybody’s faces, the overflowing plates of food that were filling the tables and the grand size of the bonfire that was being worked on by a couple of elderly but still surprisingly nimble women.

And while Zack might’ve been caught gawking with a bit too much excitement in his eyes at the way the festivities were developing down below, Cloud was making his way towards him, two large containers of food carefully wrapped together for safety during the transport. He had been charged with taking care of that evening’s dinner, considering the terrible defeated he had suffered during their sparring match, whose number of rounds they had lost track of. Thankfully, because of the festive night, the food was plentiful and affordable, and nobody batted a suspicious eye in his direction. Besides, at that point in their prolonged stay at Nibelheim, the villagers had more than gotten used to their presence. 

„What is it with mountain folk and spicy food?” Zack said through gathered tears as he took another bite of the stew Cloud had offered him.

Cloud turned to him. „You don’t like it?”

„It’s amazing,” Zack followed, his cheeks glowing red. „Too bad that I can’t feel my tongue anymore. Or face.”

„Maybe slow down? I know you’re hungry but eating fast isn’t going to help,” Cloud chuckled and handed him some water.

Zack rushed through the remainder of his food and bread and then gulped down on the water. He executed a couple of squats to make himself forget about the burning sensation that stretched all the way from his mouth and down to his stomach. And once everything settled inside of him and he had thanked Cloud for the food, Zack was finally able to sit back and enjoy the view. Mainly admiring the beautiful manifestation of the bonfire’s flames as they danced away in the night, fearlessly nipping away at the darkness as they rose towards the unlit heavens. 

During his watch, he would’ve been remiss if he didn’t catch onto the distinct way the air got filled with the soft vibrations of a distant tune. Upon closer inspection, it would seem that it elicited from the villagers below, the townfolk’s chants encouraging the song’s flow and pace. Zack found himself captivated, smiling through the marvel he felt at the sight of them dancing around the bonfire, cheerful and faces full of glee, prancing their worries away, twirling and swaying as they followed the rhythm of the tune. Unable to resist the urge to allow his heart to unwind a bit too, a craving began forming deep down, and without forewarning, Zack turned to Cloud.

„Come on,” Zack urged and offered him his hand. „You kept hinting towards some fancy footwork earlier, but I never got to see any.” 

Cloud’s shoulders tensed as he eventually made sense of Zack’s intentions. 

„No way, Zack, I couldn’t...” he shook his head vehemently. „I’m not good at that at all.”

„Nonsense,” Zack grabbed Cloud by the wrist and pulled him up on his feet. „It’s just like sparring, but without any harmful intentions. Or weapons,” he chuckled as he said that last part.

Cloud opened his mouth to protest, but Zack was quick to bring him against his chest, his hands even quicker to loop around him. With one hand resting gently against his waist and the other across his shoulder blades, Cloud found himself at a standstill. The only place he could keep his arms was around Zack’s shoulder, and although wishing he could find a way out of his predicament, he quietly complied.

„See, now isn’t this just perfect?” Zack hummed pleasantly as he began moving, tenderly coaxing the blond to follow.

Cloud groaned and took a moment. There was no shaking the fact that he felt embarrassed and uneasy because of his position, but... it wasn’t all that bad. Because Zack wasn’t making fun of him. He didn’t force him in that situation to embarrass him. Even Cloud had to admit that although eager to dance, Zack’s moves weren’t as coordinated as he made them seem. However, unlike him, Zack was confident in his attempts—he was actually trying—and because of that, Cloud wanted to try too.

„How do you know how to do all this stuff?” Cloud murmured from the side, feeling Zack warm and firm against him, as though a living shield constantly looking for ways to shelter him with everything he had.

Zack tilted his head towards him. „What do you mean?” 

„It seems that there isn’t anything you don’t know how to do,” Cloud offered, biting his lip. „It’s a bit intimidating.”

„Impressive, you mean you say,” Zack smiled and fastened his hold on the blond. „I’m just quick at getting the hang of things. Not to mention, pretty smart.”

Cloud pulled away slightly so that he can look at him.

„Hey, hey,” Zack stumbled, the expression on Cloud’s face dubious, „this isn’t the time to start doubting that.”

„I wasn’t.”

Zack narrowed his eyes. „But?”

They were caught staring at each other for a long time, Cloud’s gaze relentlessly fixated onto Zack’s. Cloud was doing that thing again, in which he couldn’t bring himself to speak, although the words were hanging by the tip of his tongue. Zack wanted nothing more than to persuade the thoughts out of him, but at the same time, he knew he needed to give Cloud the chance to speak his mind. Fastening his arms around Zack’s neck, Cloud seemed to have decided as to how he wanted to proceed with their discussion, and so, he pushed himself up towards Zack.

His nose glided against Zack’s as their breaths melted in the air between their lips. They breathed each other in before Cloud lessened the distance and pressed a kiss on top of Zack’s lips, so ardent and potent that the only thing Zack could do was flutter his eyes closed. 

Zack hummed his approval against Cloud’s lips as their mouths moved tenderly and attentively against each other, him tracing his tongue meekly on the contour of Cloud’s lower lip as he kissed him.

„Cloud,” Zack fought himself as he broke their kiss, barely able to pull away from his lips. „Is there something you want to tell me?” 

„Hm?” Cloud mumbled, his desire to cling onto Zack’s lips just as unyielding.

„There’s something about your eyes,” he murmured and stared into them for a moment.

He then fastened the blond against his body and went to nuzzle his head at the base of Cloud’s neck, knowing that if he were to kiss him again, he wouldn’t be able to stop a second time.

„Ah, no, um...” Cloud gulped and shivered slightly when he felt Zack’s breath spreading warmth across his skin. „I...”

Zack kept fading in and out of the moment, pressing light kisses on Cloud’s neck, breathing him in, tugging at the small strands of hair above his nape that he feared he might lose track of himself. And it wasn’t until a few long moments later that despite his persistence at trying to get the blond to relax, he was still stiff in his arms. 

„Have I still been a bother?” Zack lifted his head so that he can look into Cloud’s splendid blue eyes. „I mean about the whole sleeping thing?”

„N-no, actually... you’ve been rather quiet recently.”

„Really? Ah, that’s good to hear then. So maybe... that calls for a reward, right?”

„What are you? A dog?” 

„Hah, no, but you know, any excuse for a treat from you,” Zack chuckled and looked to the side, gently following the way his fingers were tracing down Cloud’s arm in an attempt to reach his hand. „So, whatever it is that you want to say, I can handle it.”

„Anything?” he asked with surprise once Zack entwined their fingers together.

Zack chewed on his lip, chasing all dark thoughts away and then allowed sincerely. „Yeah, if it’s you then anything.”

Judging by the worried look in Cloud’s eyes, Zack felt the need to hold his breath. He didn’t know what to expect to hear at that point, but he wanted to keep himself steady, to show the blond that he was there for him and that he supported him. And because of that, he drew breath and allowed himself a smile, knowing that it had a way to calm the blond.

„It’s annoying that... I came to depend so much on you,” Cloud forced the words, and afterward gritted his teeth as though to oppose the rising frustration that came with them. „But I can’t help it. Whenever I’m not with you, my mind always goes to you, and... then, I find myself willing to do anything if it means I can be with you.” 

Zack shook his head, appreciating how blunt Cloud is although there was no shaking the hurt in his voice. He had no idea how long he had been dwelling on those thoughts, but he didn’t regret forcing them out of him. And because of that, he was willing to stay put and listen to him.

„I’m annoyed at myself because I called you clingy, but here I am... telling you all this as if it were nothing.”

Zack ruffled his hair, making a half-hearted attempt at dispelling some of the tension. „Learning from the best yet again, huh?”

„It’s just a bit suffocating, you know?” Cloud asked and scrunched up his lips, desperately hoping that his words would get through to Zack.

„It would be like that... if it were one-sided,” Zack cupped his cheek, his fingers delicately extending and brushing at the edge of his jaw, near his ear. „But I feel the same. Would it surprise you that much if I told you that... despite everything, I still want you all for myself?” 

Cloud gasped in disbelief. „You already have that.”

Zack stood upright, forced to push through his stupor, unsure if he had understood Cloud correctly.

„Why are you looking at me like that?... You heard me.”

„Yeah, but... really?” he stumbled, feeling his throat painfully dry.

„Of course, really.”

„What about...”

„Zack...” Cloud called out and placed his hands on his cheeks, holding tightly so that Zack could gaze directly into his eyes, and he wouldn’t be able to look anywhere else but at him. „Enough already. Seriously, at this point, what more can I say for you to—”

Cloud stopped because something was wrong. Something happened within Zack when he reached forward with his arms and wrapped them around Cloud’s waist. The sound of muffled cries invaded the air around them as tears began pouring down Cloud’s neck, soaking in his skin as they traveled downward.

„You have the chance to choose a better life, you know, a safer one... Around the people you care for and that care for you back. You already suffered so much, and yet...yet you want to stay by my side,” Zack murmured, holding back on his tears. 

„I wouldn’t want to be anywhere else,” Cloud confessed and brought a hand up so that he could caress Zack’s hair, tugging his fringe to the side as he moved his fingers across his forehead.

It all felt like too much like his heart was so full that he couldn’t contain the surge of emotions. Zack could feel his heart jolting and flinching, stuttering and wanting to jump as it was assaulted from all directions. He never thought such a time would come when they’d be able to set aside everything and for a moment, simply enjoy each other’s presence. Genuinely appreciate it without having to feel the pressure of anything else on their shoulders. Zack might've been too quick to conclude that he had felt at peace before, but perhaps that wasn’t entirely the case. Because there had never been a truer shape of peace than the one he felt when in Cloud’s presence.

„I love you, Zack.”

Zack’s heart stopped. He thought he was prepared to handle anything but that...that was a whole different matter. He felt as though everything else vanished, plain fields of nothingness around him now, that time stopped, the concept fading as the clouds after a storm, his mind enveloping him whole as only he and Cloud remained in the entire world. 

„You’re truly... something else,” he spoke as though through a dream.

„Yeah, well, I learned from the best.”

Cloud pushed himself forward, but instead of kissing him, he brought his forehead up to lean against Zack’s. Lulled by the comfort of their closeness, Cloud focused his eyes on Zack, and that was when he finally sensed that Zack woke from the depths of his mind. 

„Say it again, Cloud.”

The blond gasped softly, and his brow furrowed. „There’s no way that I—”

„Please,” Zack tilted his head pleadingly after the blond, „say it again.”

Zack’s eyes were sincere, deep, and intense, lined with an overwhelming aura that sent a shiver thundering down Cloud’s spine. If Zack had ever been at ease, he had never been so defenseless before. There was a certain intimacy in the way he allowed himself to appear so vulnerable before Cloud, and the blond found himself powerless, endeared, and above everything else, unable to refuse his heartfelt request.

„I love you,” Cloud breathed and brushed the tips of his fingers on the edge of Zack's rugged jawline.

Zack leaned closer and lightly kissed his lips. „Again.”

„I love you, Zack,” he said, and Zack kissed him once more.

„Again,” he murmured against his lips and closed his eyes, focusing his entire being on Cloud.

„I,” Cloud began but kept being interrupted by Zack’s incredible lips. „Love,” he followed, giving that word enough time to reverberate wholly through him. „You,” he ended and opened his eyes, looking to catch that preciously rare unguarded expression that, for whatever reason, kept lingering on Zack’s face.

* * * * *


	11. Chapter 11

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> A few more days of _nothing_ happening (>‿◠)✌
> 
> enjoy~

The inn door slammed shut behind them, but none of them intervened, most likely, neither had even heard it nor remembered it was there. They were too busy focusing on each other to mind any other fleeting details.

Often losing his footing before Cloud’s insistence, Zack couldn’t help but be swayed to do as the blond pleased whenever he tugged at his clothes, or moved his hands around his shoulders or neck, pulling him towards him. Seemingly eager to do anything as long as it kept Zack close, unwilling to let him distance himself even if for a split moment. And every time Cloud would come to kiss him, Zack would kiss him back tenfold, enamored and fervid, until clinging to his lips turned as necessary as breathing.

With Cloud intense and hot against him, Zack seized the chance to wander across his back meticulously, and remained in it, recognizing how reluctant he became to take his hands off him. Because with every touch, Cloud would react, and Zack would sense him shivering, shuddering, which only enticed him to continue so as to see where the extends of his sensitivity would take them. 

It felt as though Zack had utterly and wholly fallen under Cloud’s spell since, through his kisses, he allowed the blond to direct him to wherever he pleased. And Zack didn’t want him to slow down, stop or hesitate, as though through that moment together with Cloud—tasting the sweetness of his lips, infatuated with the way he was glowing even in the faint light of the night sky, cheeks warm with desire and breath heavy with shy moans—the culmination of a lot of feelings came to manifest itself. As well as the sense of relief that through his confession, they were able to bridge that last bit of distance between them. 

Somehow, Zack couldn’t believe it that they made it back to the inn without anybody spotting them. But Cloud seemed so hungry in the way he kept kissing him once Zack coaxed the passion out of him after his confession, it wasn’t like Zack was given any time to retrace their steps. However, at that point, it wasn’t like it mattered. The blond before him demanded his attention, craved his lips, and pleaded for his touch. And Zack wouldn’t deny him any of that. He would reward Cloud with everything he wanted—anything to encourage that beautiful look on his face to persist so that he could take it and imprint it in his mind until it’d become a part of him. 

With a tight grasp on his sides, and mouth pleasingly working against his, Cloud dragged Zack after him. Zack was too preoccupied drowning in his kisses to mind how he was being pulled, or how Cloud carefully laid down and how, somewhere along the way, drew him on top of him. 

Resting on his forearms, Zack opened his eyes to take note of his surroundings. His chest tightened, temptation immediately finding its way towards his heart as he delighted in how beautifully Cloud looked under him on the bed. Zack licked his lips as he allowed his daring side to take control and eased himself on top of Cloud, slyly glancing with the corners of his eyes to see how the blond would respond to his gesture. 

Instead of words, Zack was only offered his gaze, which was wide and longing as they both took a moment to look at each other, understand their positions. But although Cloud might’ve felt comfortable under Zack’s body, he was unsatisfied, still wanting more. 

It wasn’t until Zack shifted his weight and pressed a knee in between Cloud’s legs that he swallowed, excited, feeling how hard Cloud already was. Then, wanting to feel more, Cloud spread his legs so that Zack could press himself even more against him, eventually fitting just right between the cradle of his hips. Taken aback by the incredibly enticing feat, Zack felt a mighty heatwave sweeping through him, his entire body growing hotter with each pleading glance Cloud threw in his direction. 

„Can we do it?” 

Zack blinked and took a moment as the words circled his mind. He then lowered himself towards the blond, giddy to find Cloud finally coming to terms with his wants. 

„Mmm... you mean like the other day?” Zack purred against Cloud’s neck as he teasingly slipped his hand underneath his shirt and pressed down on his stomach, fingers threading around the waist of his pants. 

Cloud chocked on a whimper when he felt Zack’s desire manifested through his warm touch. And because he wanted him to continue touching him, Cloud brought his hands up to Zack’s chest, fingers roaming around his pecs, each gesture lined with a particular mischievous interest. 

„I mean all the way.”

Cloud gave Zack a long, hard look and then moved his hand down along his arm. Once he reached his hand, he took it in his own and redirected it to his hip, urging Zack to get the clue and take responsability already.

„Cloud, listen, maybe this isn’t a...”

„Please,” he followed, and Zack closed his mouth once he refocused on Cloud’s face, precisely on the adoring way he was looking at him.

„Ahh,” Zack whined and buried his forehead into his chest. „Why can’t I say no to you?”

„You don’t want to?” Cloud pushed himself forward once he steadied himself by planting his elbows into the bed. 

„Of course I do...” Zack allowed instantly and lifted his head so that he could catch his gaze. „But Cloud, I don’t want to hurt you.”

Cloud leveled him with a glare. „I’m not that fragile.”

Zack closed his eyes and took in a deep breath. 

„I know that, but... Have you ever done this before?”

„No,” Cloud swallowed heavily. „Should I have?”

„Well, it’s just that... I mean,” Zack sat beside him on the bed. „Did you even kiss anyone before me?”

„No,” Cloud mumbled, scrunching up his lips. „Zack, when did this become an interrogation again?”

„So all your firsts... you want them with me.”

Cloud face suddenly took on a deep shade of red as Zack was persistently keeping him pinned down with his eyes. 

„I’ve liked you for so long... It would be weird if I didn’t.”

„Blondie,” he brought his hand to Cloud’s face and feeling slightly lost and a bit too much at the same time, he began gently to brush his sun-kissed hair behind his ears. „I am beyond flattered... seriously, I don’t know if my heart can take it.”

„Let’s put it to the test,” Cloud dared and steadying himself with one hand on Zack’s shoulder, he brought himself up to his lips.

Zack’s eyes closed at the contact, Cloud overpowering him with his apparent insatiable passion that reignited so quickly he feared he might get left behind if he dithered even for a second longer. 

Cloud fastened himself onto his chest, grinding himself against his body, while Zack steadily made his way down onto his neck, finding it beyond exciting how Cloud was feeding all of the growing urges inside of him. By the way Cloud was holding onto him, leaning his head backward, exposing so much of his neck to him, Zack couldn’t help but shudder in delight once he understood the unworded message. 

Taking one deep breath of Cloud’s scent, Zack then used that drive to direct his mouth onto the deep lines of his neck. His lips were hot as they pressed against them, wet as he licked his way upwards towards his chin until he met the sweetness of his bottom lip with which although he was very much accustomed to, he wanted nothing more than to hold it between his lips once more. 

„I really want you,” Cloud said in a low voice and kissed his way to Zack’s ear. „Is that ok?” he murmured and pressed down on him with all his weight making Zack exhale a long, shaky breath. 

„You don’t even have to ask,” Zack offered and gently nudged him with his head so that he could have some space to move. „Can I take this off?” he added and tugged at the hem of Cloud’s shirt.

„I can do it myself,” Cloud reached to grab his shirt, but Zack was fast to tangle his fingers around his wrist.

„No, no,” he insisted with a sly grin and stopped him. „Let me.” 

Swallowing a gasp, Cloud stood upright, and after lowering his head to the side, he nodded. Zack did his best to keep his fingers from shivering, but there as no hiding how nervous he suddenly became at the thought of what he was about to do. That he was going to undress Cloud and that... he was going to be his. 

It was then that Zack became more aware than ever of the flame that was coursing throughout his body, imploring him to pursue his desires to slowly and delicately unravel Cloud. Anything so that he could be assured that this wasn’t a dream and that this moment between them was real and that... it was something both of them wanted. 

And so, Zack grabbed his shirt firmly with both hands. While his heart was thumping so loudly in his chest, he knew Cloud could easily count the beats if he wanted, he began pulling on his shirt. He followed it with his eyes as it went upward over Cloud’s tight stomach and pale chest, crossed his splendid neck until he removed it entirely, Cloud’s rebel hair slightly messy as it came out through the tight collar but still superb when it fell back into place. 

Once he got to see the entire result of his action, Zack found himself stuck, frozen in place as though he had forgotten that he could blink and dispel the persistent way he was gazing at the blond.

„What’s wrong?”

„I knew it...” Zack muttered, but piecing his thoughts together in those moments proved too much of an insurmountable task. „Hold on... pants too?”

Cloud scoffed, too nervous to chuckle. „What do you think?”

Zack’s face brightened up as he pushed himself between Cloud’s legs and undid his belt. He wanted to laugh at how clumsy he was while working his way around unzipping his pants, and Cloud must’ve noticed that because he chimed in to help by lifting his waist. 

„Wow,” Zack allowed once he pulled his pants and underpants down. „Damn, I knew it... you are beautiful all over.”

Before Cloud could give out any reaction, he could already feel Zack’s hands enveloping his thighs, his fingers spread wide as though wanting to hold as much of him as possible. Grinning in delight, Zack then lowered himself towards Cloud, dragging his lips seductively against the sensitive skin before kissing up the inside of Cloud’s thigh. 

Cloud’s body kept shuddering uncontrollably the closer Zack got to him, only to squirm violently when the warmth of Zack’s mouth enveloped him whole. He gasped, throwing his head back as Zack’s lips and tongue began working diligently on him. The stimulation was tremendous, and Cloud felt beyond overwhelmed at how tight and hard Zack was holding onto him, licking around him, coaxing the pleasure out of him, with every kiss or flick of the tongue over his hardened length. 

„W-wait,” Cloud inhaled deeply through his nose, fearing he might lose himself right then and there if he didn’t steady his breathing. „Zack... not so fast.” 

Cloud gasped as his fingers stretched out to grip Zack’s hair, but Zack grabbed onto his hand and held it at bay before it could reach him. Feeling the fire in his stomach grow alongside Zack’s tenacity, Cloud then used the last bit of air in his lungs to call out one more time. 

„Zack!”

The name barely left his lips when Cloud came with a sudden and exasperated grunt, and for a long moment, there was nothing but the sound of his crazed heart, thumping away in the silence around him. Until with a proud grin, Zack stood upright to gaze at him, mindful to catch that priceless look of satisfaction that Cloud wasn’t always so generous in sharing with him. 

„You are the worst,” Cloud’s voice came as a forced murmur while still lying on the bed, spent, breathing heavily as though he had just finished running a marathon.

„Don’t be so quick to judge,” Zack chuckled and wiped his mouth with the back of his hand. „And don’t say you didn’t like that,” he winked, amused at how hard Cloud was trying to appear cool and collected, but even he knew it was just an act to buy some time for his heart to settle.

And that was when Zack decided it was time for him to go and take off his clothes as well. Yet for Cloud, he would things a bit differently. And maybe that was why just as he was about to pull off his shirt, Zack took his dear, sweet time as he was watching Cloud watching him with the corners of his eyes, wanting to assure that he had the blond’s undivided attention.

Cloud felt himself twitching from underneath him, continually wanting to reach out and touch him, press his hands all over the shape of his well-toned chest. While Cloud had seen it bare before, it still had a way to tempt him, encourage all sorts of urges and cravings to coarse through his veins. Cloud wanted to blink, but pushed that reflex aside, dreading that he might miss something crucial if he were to close his eyes even for a second. 

And as if that wasn’t enough, Zack did everything in his power to prolong his undressing, making sure that Cloud followed his every move as he rolled his hips when he pulled his pants down, taking time to show off the deep curves of his muscles along his abdomen. The sight was too much, stirring too many emotions inside of Cloud, but incredibly, incredibly tantalizing as it thundered through his body and ended igniting his excitement up once more.

„I also, um, bought this,” Zack said airily and leaning backward slightly, began patting his pant’s pockets in search of something specific.

„What’s that?” the blond asked, struggling to mimic Zack’s care-free tone but should’ve known he was way too dazed even to try.

Zack turned to him, pride gleaming from around him. „Lube.” 

„You’ve been really busy during your trips through town, huh?”

„Can’t get you out of my mind,” Zack followed as he opened the small container and poured generously on his hand. „Not that I want to. And so, I have to act on it, otherwise, I’ll end up feeling guilty.”

„Guilty... for what?”

„For not spoiling you as much as you deserve.”

Zack leaned in and kissed him, his eyes still open as though to catch Cloud’s every gesture, and expression, twitch and shiver as his hand slid towards the lower half of his body. He quickly coaxed Cloud to open his mouth and welcome his tongue inside before he inched his fingers any further below his belt line. 

Although excited, Zack recognized that Cloud was also nervous, and because of that, he wanted to take his time with everything he did, especially when he began to circle his way around him. Once settled more comfortably with his arms around his neck, Zack then slipped his lubricated finger inside of him so quickly that Cloud barely had time to react. Noticing the change in his breathing, however, Zack started moving inside of him, careful as to ensure that Cloud was comfortable and at ease with everything he did.

„How is it?” Zack whispered in between the kisses he pressed on the edge of his jaw, each sound echoing softly in his ear.

„Weird,” Cloud murmured and fastened his hold around Zack.

„Just keep breathing,” Zack hummed against his ear. „You should feel really good soon.”

The more Zack worked into him, the more open and relaxed Cloud became. By following the direction Cloud was giving him by the stuttered yelps and hitched gasps that unintentionally escaped him, Zack carefully added a third finger, twisting and curling as he made his way inside. 

„That’s enough,” Cloud barely spoke. „Please, already...” he said and pressed his hand to Zack’s crotch, which was throbbing roughly against his thigh.

Zack pulled back and allowed himself one more long, dear look at Cloud before settling between his legs. With a hand firmly against his hip, Zack slowly began to push into him, and for an entire moment, Cloud felt himself adrift, disconnected from his senses by the foreign pressure forcing its way inside. Without thinking, Cloud clutched onto Zack’s arm, holding his breath as he desperately fought to accustom himself with the startling size difference between a few of Zack’s fingers and just his tip before it drained all the courage out of him. 

„You need to relax, Cloud,” Zack instructed and stopped halfway, giving Cloud a chance to catch up with his breathing. 

Zack could feel Cloud’s nervousness as it traveled his body and made him tremble instinctively. And maybe the reason why Cloud had grasped his fingers so tightly around his arm was not that he was afraid, but because he wanted to use that as a way to show Zack that he wasn’t about to give in. Not when he was the one who brought them to this point and not when this was something that he had wanted for so long. 

With his courage reinstate, Zack watched as Cloud moved around a little, as though trying to get used to the strange feeling of being so deeply and wholly connected with somebody else. With the person whom he had so many feelings for that Cloud feared his heart might overflow at any point if Zack kept looking at him so insistently and with such deep-rooted affection. 

„Does it hurt?” Zack asked once he felt Cloud’s grip loosening on his arm and heard his heartbeat adjusting in his chest.

„I’m ok...” Cloud breathed out, small tears glistening at the corner of his eyes. „You can... move now.”

Zack didn’t need any further instructions. As hard as it was for him to admit, even he had limits. And so, he pulled almost all the way out only to thrust right back in the next moment, a shallow grunt accompanying his initial movements as he made his way through the tightness. 

Cloud whined and groaned until the feeling of fullness turned from strange to familiar and steadily afterward, overwhelming and unbelievably good. The moans that then poured out of him were loud and came from deep in his throat, at one point, even coming close to matching each of Zack’s thrusts. 

With his hand still holding onto him by the tips of his fingers, Cloud’s embarrassment turned into distant memory, knowing all too well he wouldn’t be able to stop crying out his pleasure even if he tried. Cloud closed his eyes, overtaken by the pleasure Zack was giving him.

„You are so beautiful, Cloud,” Zack said, his hands fastened against his hips. „I have never seen anyone...”

„Zack,” Cloud reprimanded hastily, not entirely knowing if he wanted him to continue speaking or shut up entirely, but there was no denying how reassuring his voice felt.

„From the first moment I saw you...” Zack panted, his mind in utter disarray.

„It’s fine... I know,” Cloud looked at him for a moment before averting his gaze once more, eyes welling with tears. „I know because... I felt the same.”

„Damn it, Cloud,” Zack grunted, and he felt his passion growing as Cloud whimpered underneath him when his movements turned erratic with rushed urgency. „Tell me... does it feel good?”

„Amazing... It’s always amazing when... it’s you... anything with you.”

Zack then grabbed onto him with both hands and rolled him over on his knees only to press into him again as though he had never stopped, each thrust hard and deep, as he continued over and over. The heat in his stomach was boiling in intensity, and Zack trusted that from his new position, it was only a matter of time before he would be able to bring Cloud to that blissful moment of pleasure. Gripping one hand on his shoulder, Zack then leaned down onto him, his chest firm against Cloud’s back. 

With Zack’s body now firmly on top of him, Cloud suddenly became aware of so many more things. How he could sense the beads of sweat that were dripping off of Zack’s body, crashing onto his, cooling him down. Or how he was warmed and excited in the same measure by each Zack’s breaths as they billowed heavy and sensually besides his ear. How focused Zack was as he kept pushing into him, and how good all the stimuli felt by themselves and how utterly amazing they felt coalesced as one. In clutching his hands into fists, Cloud forced himself to take a deep, long breath, suddenly aware that he wasn’t going to last much longer. 

„Ah... Zack...”

As though the rhythms of the continuous thrusts weren’t stimulating enough, Zack then leaned forward and reached a hand between Cloud’s legs. With Zack’s hand wrapped around him, there was nothing Cloud could do but allow his hold himself steady and just savor Zack’s long, vigorous strokes on him.

„I’m almost...”

„Me too,” Zack followed and held onto him tighter as their passion brought them closer than ever before. 

Cloud eventually succumbed to his pleasure, the swirl of the heat thundering through his body, and cried out Zack’s name as he spilled onto his hand and the bed below. 

As Cloud’s voice was still ringing in his ears with the sound of his name, which rolled so profoundly and sweetly from his lips, Zack felt drawn beyond his limits. His entire body then stiffened as he came with such intensity that his mind turned blank, everything around him waning into a quiet, unobstructed field of nothingness.

Zack took a long moment in which he rested his forehead between Cloud’s shoulderblades before his rationality caught up with him. He lifted his head and soothed the spot with a kiss before brushing the indentation of Cloud’s spine with his fingers as he retreated. And holding himself steady, Zack pushed his weary self to the side and began looking around for something to clean both of them with. 

Having then returned to Cloud’s side, Zack coaxed the blond with his hand, gently grabbing onto his forearm as he moved him on his back. Somehow, Cloud was surprisingly fast, albeit a little bit clumsy to switch positions.

„You are staring,” Cloud reprimanded coldly once on his back.

„Right, sorry,” Zack stumbled and went to clean him, his touch light as it trailed down on his chest and lowered under his navel. „How are you feeling?” 

„Sore,” Cloud muttered, the ache in his lower back was so acute and continually stinging there was no chance he could hide it.

„I’m so sorry... I tried to be gentle, but in the end, you totally had me in a haze,” Zack mumbled and rubbed the back of his neck, embarrassed by his forcefulness. 

„I’ll be alright,” Cloud tried to stand up slightly but hissed in pain as soon as he dared to move.

„Here, I got you,” Zack jumped to him and placed him on his side and went to move his hand up and down his back with the other. „How’s that?”

„Embarrassing,” Cloud said and took in a deep breath as to take away from the tension in his body. „But somehow better.”

„Magical hands,” Zack chuckled and felt his lips trembling once he noticed the easy access he had at Cloud’s exposed neck. 

Unable to resist, Zack lowered himself towards the blond and began kissing around his shoulder, patiently waiting for the opportunity to sneak his lips higher towards his lovely, glistening neck.

„Don’t bite.”

„I won’t,” Zack huffed out a laugh, gliding his teeth over Cloud’s skin.

„That’s what you said the other day too, and I can still feel where you bit me,” Cloud mumbled against the pillow he was holding onto. „Seriously, you’re like a dog.” 

„It’s because,” he started, cozily nuzzling up against Cloud’s back, „you bring,” he breathed after placing a tender kiss on the back of his shoulder, „the best and the worst,” he continued as he kept kissing, „out of me and for that,” he followed and moved his lips slowly higher over Cloud’s skin, „you need to be careful,” he warned and huffed against his neck, causing goosebumps to erupt all over Cloud’s body. „You never know what I’m gonna do next.”

„Zack,” he chuckled and turned on his back so that he could face Zack, „you’re doing that thing again.”

„Oh yeah, what thing?”

„Talking too much,” Cloud scolded and grabbed onto his arm so that he could bring him closer towards him.

Zack snorted, following Cloud directions without a whiff of opposition. „But I like talking to you.”

„I can see that,” Cloud’s voice quivered against his lips when Zack stopped right before touching them with his own.

„We should talk more,” he teased with a smirk, noticing how hard it was to keep a steady distance between them, both their yearnings quick to come alive once more.

„Yeah, we should,” Cloud retorted and closed the distance between them, his lips lenient and wanting before Zack’s. „Some other time, though.”

* * * * *

Despite his disgruntled haze from seeing that Sephiroth had yet again refused to eat anything that he had left for him on the doorstep of the Shinra manor, Zack decided not to let that matter affect him. He had already vowed to stay by Sephiroth’s side for as long as he needed to complete his research, and that was precisely what he was going to do, regardless of his emotions about the whole endeavor. Not to mention that, if he were honest, Zack started to take a liking to Nibelheim. 

Although still very much aware he wasn’t on leave from his service, Zack chose to enjoy all of the ventures’ particularities and little intricacies as, in a way, they were the closest thing he ever had to a normal life. And every time he would dwell on them, he couldn’t help but feel his heart swelling, as though he had started to encourage the blooming of a very particular type of craving. One that had nothing to do with work... but more like, something of the complete opposite of that. 

With the shadow of the water tower in his field of view, Zack suddenly stopped in his stride when he got distracted by something that he hadn’t had the pleasure of entertaining in a very long time. 

A phone call from a particular girl, by the looks of it. A girl who, despite the distance and time, was still thinking about him. Adorning an ear to ear grin on his face along with an almost palpable excitement to his tone, Zack answered her call.

„Also, Aerith... about the last time we talked...” 

Zack suddenly found himself changing the conversation topic after Aerith had updated him with the well-being of everybody from the slums, to which even he was surprised to see how interesting he found all the stories she shared with him. And not just because it was something new and refreshing but also because her excitement was just too endearing not to pursue and encourage. 

„I know it’s been a while, but I finally figured some stuff out, and um, I might’ve found an answer to your question.”

_„The one about who does your hair?”_

„That’s still a secret,” he chuckled and took a quick breath before continuing. „But I’m talking about the one about... who I love.”

_„Oh, I see. Zack, this is a whole new side of you. How can I be sure it’s truly you and not an impostor?”_

„As if anybody can sound as charming as me,” he scoffed smugly.

_„Yeah, well, you are right there, not to mention you are breathing in the phone again. It’s definitely you.”_

Zack clicked his tongue, a sudden feeling of dejection looming over him. „You’re never going to give me a break, will you?”

_„Keeps you on your feet, at least, doesn’t it?”_

„It sure does,” he smiled at the sound of her soft giggle, recognizing the truth behind her words and the sincerity of her intentions.

_„I can’t wait to see you, though. And talk some more to you.”_

Zack took in a deep breath. „Same here. Let’s catch up soon.”

_„I’ll wait for you.”_

Swallowing a gasp, Zack then stood upright and brought the phone closer. „You said that the last time we saw each other too.”

_„I’m not going back on my word. And neither should you. I thought I taught you better than that.”_

„I haven’t forgotten,” Zack smiled once more. „Until then.”

There was a weird feeling that overcame him as soon as he hung up the call with Aerith, and he wasn’t sure exactly what to make of it. Sure, Zack was joyful that he got to talk to her, but the fact that he chose to wait once more stirred him. He might’ve gotten too excited again. But waiting for the right moment to tell Aerith about Cloud seemed like something too important to relay over the phone. And besides, he really wanted to see the expression she would make once he revealed the big news. Zack then chuckled to himself, realizing that choosing to wait a little bit longer had indeed been the right choice. 

Zack lifted his gaze and swiftly searched the area around. And just like clock-work, he felt his heart jolt inside of him when his eyes met the silhouette of the blond who had been patiently waiting for him just as he had at noon every single day by the water tower in the middle of Nibelheim.

* * * * *

The late evening of that day found the two taking refuge inside the inn bundled against each other and lost in their own minds, as they stared out the glass windows at a dim, tempestuous sky. The storm came fast and abrupt, and although Cloud had warned repeatedly of the impending dark horizon that kept approaching, Zack still felt like they could explore some more around the village. It wasn’t until the thunder started thudding and the lightning furiously illuminating the world around them that Zack was convinced of Cloud’s words. They then began running through the rain back towards the village, as though they actually had a chance of outrunning it.

„Are you still upset?” Zack nudged Cloud with his shoulder as the blond kept resting his head against him.

Cloud groaned. „I will be... if I catch a cold because of you.”

„Come to think of it, that wouldn’t be so bad.”

„Being sick... what part of that do you think is no so bad?”

„Gives me a chance to take care of you,” Zack’s eyes flickered down to him. „Nurse you back to health and all that!”

„Yeah, right,” Cloud pushed himself forward and rubbed his face with both his hands. 

Zack’s leaned back against the wall, watching how drowsy Cloud seemed. He must’ve been a bit too relaxed after the long, steamy bath he had taken to warm himself up and now looked like he might doze off at any moment. Yet, since they were technically still on duty, he knew neither could do that. 

As things stood, though, the rain was keeping them away from their patrol. Usually, that excuse would never stand before their superiors, but since neither brought the topic up... they chose to stay silent about the matter even if only a little bit longer. 

„I bet you can’t even make soup...”

„I can learn!” Zack intervened promptly. „I mean, if you like soup, that is.”

Although outright lively and rather playful a moment ago, Zack felt drained of all energy when Cloud turned to him, an expression so downcast on his face it shook him to the core. 

„Oh, hey, blondie,” he scooted closer to him and instantly brought up his hand to caress his cheek. „What’s up? You don’t think I can be a good chef?” he tried to joke, but Cloud dismissed his query with a brisk shake of the head. „You know I’d do it for you...” Zack said and stole a quick kiss off his lips. „I’d do anything for you,” he murmured and then raised his eyes to meet Cloud’s, hoping that he would be able to see the sincerity etched within them.

„You say this now but,” he said coldly, and Zack felt his heart drop, alongside his smile which vanished so quickly off his face he couldn’t tell for certain it had been there to start with. „How are things going to be like when we go back?”

„What do you mean?”

„Once we return to the barracks... what will happen?” Cloud asked and reached up to his hand, but instead of grabbing it, he merely brushed it’s surface with the tips of his fingers, hesitant, as though burdened by too many thoughts to decide upon a single one in such a short time. „To us...” he said that last part in a hushed voice, his uneasiness sieved through his words.

Zack swallowed. „We keep doing what we’ve been doing up until now.”

„Zack...” Cloud squeezed his eyes together and moved his head slightly to the side. „I don’t think that would be possible. Not even in a hundred years.”

„Wh-why do you say that?” he frowned.

„Because of our ranks... because of our duties and because of who we are,” Cloud bit his tongue, the words sour in his mouth. „We’ll be assigned to different things, have different missions... we’ll each go back to our routine, and the only time we’ll see each other will be between tasks.”

„Cloud, do you honestly think that after we’ve found each other, I will actually let go of you?” Zack chased after his flitting eyes, keen to impose himself in the center of his gaze. „Even if it takes a hundred years and one day, I will find my way back to you. Do you hear me?”

Cloud clenched his fist and then finally accepted to look into his eyes. His gaze was unwavering as it shone even through the intense dark of that blustery night. 

„Mako eyes,” Cloud whispered, somehow amaze to see that how truly unique Zack’s eyes had been this whole time. 

Cloud spent so much time trying to escape from his persistent gaze that he had forgotten how beautiful and pristine the SOLDIER’s eyes were, and somewhere in between all the tumultuous thoughts, he felt compelled to dwell a moment longer in them. And without haste or any other requirements, Zack allowed him, as though sensing that desire in him, knowing that was what he wanted—no, needed—for this troubled heart to find peace again.

„Besides, just because we don’t know what will happen doesn’t mean we should stop.”

The word flitted warmly off Zack’s lips and traveled through Cloud, meandering their way until they found themselves reverberating within his heart. Cloud gasped, strangely overwhelmed to be caught so defenseless. So suddenly... it wasn’t normal. Not for a soldier, regardless of rank. 

But it wasn’t like he could resist. He had never been any good at opposing Zack or his unwavering persistence. Then again, Zack had never disappointed him before, and judging by the way he was speaking now, it honestly felt like he never would. And for Cloud, that was everything that he could ever wish for. Everything and more.

Somehow, through the multitude of odd twists and turns that life had taken him through, there had truly been one redeeming thing about it all as each and every one of his wishes seemed to have been personified and molded into that man before his eyes, who together with his clumsiness, his scattered attitude, his moments of dithering and laziness, his greed and selfishness... was still perfect. And best of all, he was his.

Suddenly feeling his eyes heavy, Cloud lowered himself before Zack and pressed his head at the safety of the spot where Zack’s neck and shoulder met. 

„I’m sorry, I’m just tired and...”

„It’s ok, blondie,” Zack hushed and pressed his hand on the back of Cloud’s head, his fingers gently brushing at his hair. „I’m here with you, and you’re here with me. And as long as we’re together, I’ll never let that change.”

Cloud’s weeps were silent, and Zack could feel the stream of tears that was dripping from his cheeks, staining his skin before soaking in his shoulder. He held himself steady, quiet yet still very much present, firmly holding onto Cloud. 

The reason Zack didn’t dismiss his concerns was that he understood them. Because those worries had found their way to him countless times before too, yet through sheer stubbornness, he had become quite skilled at dismissing them. 

Zack was too eager to taste happiness whenever by Cloud’s side to let himself drown in the uncertainties that the future held. Although it would be a lie to deny the worries that still lingered, he simply chose to face them as they appeared. And so, Zack held onto Cloud until the tears had all but dried on his cheek, and even after that, he was still reluctant to let go of him, his arms now around the blond as he held him closer, the space between them blurred by sincere adoration and tender warmth. 

* * * * *

The storm had been merciless the day before, but as soon as the night rolled over on their sixth day in Nibelheim, the dark skies had all but cleared. However, the wind was still fierce, the inn’s roof creaking loudly whenever a capricious breeze would plunge across it. 

The two were lying on the united beds, listening to the dissonant rumbling coming from beyond the wooden walls, Zack playing with Cloud’s hair as the blond laid his head on his lap, absentmindedly gazing out the window. Or at least that was Zack’s impression, as he himself wasn’t particularly thinking about anything. Well, only about the blond, but that had become second nature to him. He wasn’t lying earlier-Cloud had become such a significant part of his life, he sincerely couldn’t imagine his life without him from that point onward.

„I’ll take the first patrol tomorrow morning.”

Zack flinched, Cloud’s words bringing him out of his mind. „Are you sure?” he asked, his voice calm.

„I’m better at waking up early than you so...” he explained and inched his eyes upward to check on Zack’s expression.

Considering his careful movements, Cloud seemed unwilling to move from his comfortable position, as Zack’s hands meandering through his hair felt amazingly relaxing, his skin quick to erupt in goosebumps whenever his fingers deepened their grasp on him.

„Yeah, well, I need my beauty sleep,” Zack huffed as though that was a good enough reason to explain his morning drowsiness.

„You can say that again.”

Zack raised both eyebrows in astonishment. „Oh, so that’s how it is?”

„Don’t be upset that I’m merely agreeing with you,” Cloud groaned as he stood up and stretched, his back deliberately aimed at Zack.

„You think you’re so sneaky, huh?” Zack lunged at Cloud’s back and wrapped his arms tight around him. „I won’t be fooled by you again, blondie.”

Cloud laughed, enjoying the soft nibbles and kisses Zack scattered around his jaw and upper part of his neck.

„Tomorrow... I want to introduce you to my mom.”

Zack suddenly froze, his mind coming to a screeching halt. „What?” he asked reflexively.

„Well, it's more like...” Cloud began and took a moment before turning to face Zack, „I went to visit her today, and we... talked. And somewhere between all that, I might’ve told her that there’s somebody I want her to meet,” he ended, and his lips curled into a smile, but not before lifting his gaze towards Zack. 

„You mean it?” he asked wide-eyed, his eyes searching the depths’ of Cloud’s impatiently for answers.

„Yeah,” Cloud nodded slowly. „Would it be ok with you... if we went there together?”

„Of course,” Zack breathed almost instantaneously and reached his hand up to his face. „Anything to make you happy,” he ended with a kiss delicately planted in the middle of his forehead, his lips trembling delicately with each word he offered.

„What about you?” Cloud asked and moved away so that he can take a better look at Zack. „About your happiness,” he followed, Zack’s gaze rather hard to decipher.

„Seeing you smile is all I want.”

Cloud thought for a moment and then chuckled, leaving Zack stunned by the unexpected reaction. „You’re such a sap.”

„And so, my honesty did truly spell my downfall... of all things,” he shrugged dramatically. „I wouldn’t be surprised if you came to hate me too.”

Cloud furrowed his brows. „Who said anything about hate?”

„Your tone of voice,” the reply came quickly alongside the pout on Zack’s face.

„My tone of voice...”

„Ah, there it is again. You just scoffed.”

„I didn’t,” he lied and rolled his eyes.

„You speak with hatred scattered in between your words.”

„Then maybe I shouldn’t talk,” Cloud crossed his arms on his chest, suddenly feeling a need to follow Zack’s dramatical playfulness. „In case I ever come to hurt your feelings again.”

„You know what, now that I think about it, I’d rather you hurt my feelings than never hear your pretty voice again,” he laughed and then moved in closer to his ear and began speaking low and seductively as his hand slowly rolled down his chest. „And you know, there are these times when I touch you just right...,” he licked his lips, „and then you just make the most delicious sounds I have ever—”

„Ok, I suppose this is it,” Cloud shuddered and pushed himself away from Zack, „here’s me never speaking again.”

„Oh, is that so?” Zack purred and moved behind him as Cloud deliberately chose to firmly stand his ground with his back aimed at him. „Cloud, come on.” 

Despite his plea, there was no reply from the blond. Zack moved a bit and pressed both his hands on Cloud’s shoulders. 

„Cloud,” he called, but the blond’s stubbornness was in full effect.

Zack then leaned forward and draped his arms over Cloud’s shoulders, allowing them to sway lazily over his chest. 

„Cloud,” he whispered into one ear and then switched to the other. „I’mma keep doing this until the morning, so you better say something soon.”

Zack noticed the blond shuddering at the way his hot breath brushed beside his ear and was _just_ about to turn to him to protest his proximity, but at the last moment, Cloud retreated, giving up on that intention. 

„Cloud,” he allowed his name to roll off his tongue slowly and sweetly as he lifted himself closer to his ear so that he could also press and drag his lips against its edges. „Cloud.”

Cloud suddenly turned around and threw his arms around Zack’s neck. He smirked, as though proud of himself for winning some competition only he was aware of and then, pulled Zack into a kiss. Although precious, it felt like the kiss’ aim was more to shut him up than anything else. 

„Ok, this works too,” Zack laughed before the blond captured his lips once more, deepening his kisses with each breath he took, steadily pushing him down the bed and him climbing on top of him.

* * * * *

It was the morning of the seventh day in Nibelheim when Zack suddenly opened his eyes, as though jolted awake. Usually, his mornings were followed by the image of a sleeping Cloud beside him or a touch of his hand over his cheek or the pleasant sound of the blond’s steady breathing, but that morning was different. 

Despite his expectation, he couldn’t find anything fitting that description around him. In fact, Cloud wasn’t even in the room. While he did mention that he’d take the morning patrol, Zack couldn’t dispel the strange worry that slowly began shuddering up his spine. He had no idea why he felt so unnerved, but one thing was for sure, he wasn’t going to idle around until the answer came to him.

Lifting himself from the bed, Zack darted his eyes out the window, and it wasn’t until he spotted some thick bundles of smoke emerging from the distant buildings that the acute sense of worry took an even bigger space inside his heart. There was no mistaking it, something must’ve happened, and whatever it was, it was only getting worse, the smoke fast to spread and engulf different areas of town. 

Refusing the temptation of his mind to drench him in worry, Zack whipped around and got dressed so rapidly he didn’t register it. He acted on reflex, and it wasn’t until he had the Buster Sword in his hand that he jumped through the door and jolted down the stairs. 

The sight from up close was nothing easier on the heart. The entire village of Nibelheim was on fire... and somehow, despite the chaos posed by the hungry flames that were steadily rising from each corner and pilar, everything was immersed in such a profound silence it made Zack’s ears ring painfully. As for the villagers... they were nowhere to be seen. 

Zack felt as though he had been winded, his lungs devoid of air as he turned from side to side, desperate to piece together the lead-up to the chaos that erupted and kept growing as the seconds ticked by. And in the frenzy of all that, his mind was quick to direct him towards the image of the person whom he had not seen since the previous night.

„Cloud...” he breathed and pushed himself forward, prompting his legs to move and brave the mayhem that instilled so fiercely before him.

He could feel the fire growing around him, watch it as the flames were taking on the shape of giant monstrous pillars of destruction which no amount of water would’ve been able to quell. With each step that he made towards the center of town, Zack wanted to believe that he knew where Cloud was. That the first place he would’ve wanted to check in case of any peril would be... his childhood home.

It wasn’t until Zack reached the front of the red-roofed building with twin doors, that his breath caught up with him. And not before long, he stumbled upon an inert Cloud, laying still as couldn’t do anything but stare as everything was crumbling down before him.

„Cloud!” he called out, rushing his step as he approached the blond. „How did this... what is going on?” he tried to ask, but seeing the daze in his eyes gave him a more faithful reply than words ever could. 

Zack darted his gaze to the side and saw how savagely the flames engulfed his home and pretty much everything around it. Whether they were too late or stood no chance at all mattered little at that point because the damage was already done. As for Cloud, and what was going through his mind, Zack wasn’t prepared to make sense of it yet. 

„Who did this?” he uttered through his teeth.

Cloud opened his mouth to speak, but there were no words. He was in shock, his mind close to falling prey to the very flames that were burning around him, which was precisely why Zack was gripping onto him with such force he could feel his hand trembling as it held him. While he didn’t have the words to bring Cloud back to him, he would use his body, his hands, his presence to keep him steady, to beg him to remain there alongside him.

„Please... Cloud.”

Zack pleaded but unsure for what exactly. Perhaps information, or many other things, the words as vague to him in those moments as they were for Cloud. However, his voice must’ve reached the blond, because Zack saw him reacting, although his gaze was still adrift as he watched over the blazing house. 

„Sephiroth.”

Despite the bright flames, despite the intensity of their light, the heat and haze, it all got suddenly very dark and cold around Zack. He didn’t need anything else before understanding what he had to do. Releasing Cloud from his hold, Zack moved his head to the side and spoke, no emotion to his tone.

„Get yourself out of here, somewhere safe. As for Sephiroth... I will find him and... deal with him.”

He pressed his hand to Cloud’s shoulder and held it there for a long moment, trusting that it would urge him away from the burning village. For the time being, the roads were still clear, and he could run out of there, get away from the inferno. 

As for everybody else... something must’ve gotten to them before they could do anything about it. No, not something else. That thing used to be a person... that Zack once cared for and about... and it was once known as Sephiroth, the First-Class hero of Shinra.

Zack’s heart was heavy with frustration, his mind flooded with anger as for his soul... Zack didn’t know that betrayal tasted so sour... bitter that it almost drove him to exasperation with the lingering taste of bile in his mouth. But that wasn’t the time to dwell on his dissatisfaction, on his negligence, and the myriad of chances he had given Sephiroth to prove himself worthy of his title. He should’ve been quicker to act and scold him, keep a tighter hold on the man who so quickly distanced himself from them and from his duties. 

Not before long, all the thoughts of regret and frustration vanish from his mind when before him, rising alongside the smoke and flames, the shape of the silver-haired man began taking shape. Zack stopped, his eyes wandering on the outline of his silhouette, quick to dart towards the glow of the blade Masamune as it shone vainly in his left hand.

„You... Is this truly your doing!?” Zack demanded, his voice deep and coarse, resembling a growl.

Instead of an answer, however, he was offered a glare. It was brisk and sudden, but there was no mistaking it. Zack saw the way his eyes glistened, and through their distinctive light, he was offered everything he asked for and more... the answer to questions as well as clarifications to his doubts—everything came to a full circle when the light in Sephiroth’s eyes dimmed in such a menacing way it became almost impossible to keep looking at him. 

And it was in the exact moment that Zack felt enveloped by a distinctive type of fear once that kept warning him that he might get petrified if he kept looking in Sephiroth’s eyes. Despite the chill that threatened to ravage his soul, Zack still pushed past the dread.

„No more games, Sephiroth. This is not what heroes do! They fight to extinguish the flames, not fan them. Come on already, answer me, damn it!”

Sephiroth turned his head to better look at him, but for whatever reason, Zack felt like he wasn’t truly seeing him. As though he wasn’t worthy of his gaze... of his acknowledgment. 

„For once in your life,” he grunted, having reached the limit of his patience, „how about you take some responsability for your actions?!” 

But Sephiroth just stood there. 

Looking at him. 

Or through him, Zack couldn’t tell anymore. 

Zack’s anger was evident, growing along with his inability to keep up with everything around him. It must’ve been one of the hardest things Zack had to do, but continuing to lie to himself from that point onward was futile. The man he once used to know, the hero he once used to look up, the brother he once held dear... had died, and from those ashes, something... somebody else rose, so very different and yet, bearing the same appearance.

Zack gritted his teeth. „Sephiroth!”

The shout got lost as it traversed the space between them, getting swept by the flames that engulfed everything in their path, along with the image of the former SOLDIER-hero. 

* * * * *

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thank you all for the wait, it's been quite the task to bring you this chapter but I hope it made you as happy as it did me, with all its twists and turns ꈍ .̮ ꈍ
> 
> Again, many, MANY thanks for the comments, kudos, and attention - everything helps me a lot to keep writing this! All your feedback is appreciated and cherished a̶n̶d̶ ̶e̶n̶c̶o̶u̶r̶a̶g̶e̶d̶ ̶l̶i̶k̶e̶ ̶a̶ ̶t̶a̶l̶l̶ ̶g̶l̶a̶s̶s̶ ̶o̶f̶ ̶w̶a̶t̶e̶r̶ 
> 
> Be sure to stop by my [Tumblr](https://nightyelfy.tumblr.com/) if you are ever in the area~


	12. Chapter 12

There were a few fundamental truths that Zack Fair knew for certain. 

He left Gongaga at a young age to join the military. 

Becoming a SOLDIER had been his life-long goal. 

Fighting alongside his heroes, Angeal, Genesis, and Sephiroth was an image so vividly imprinted in his mind that he was willing to do close to anything to achieve it.

Everything Zack Fair did from the moment he joined the military revolved around learning, training, working tirelessly to prove himself worthy in the face of the SOLDIERs and his peers alike. In his eyes, there was nothing greater than fighting for what he believed in, and in doing so, achieve his dream of becoming a hero in the form of a SOLDIER. 

When Zack made it into SOLDIER, he couldn’t have been happier. He celebrated with his peers, and as though the cafeteria victuals weren’t enough, Kunsel somehow managed to sneak in a bottle of alcohol too. A worthy reward for a mighty achievement, Kunsel pardoned his deed as though that would make their trespassing seem any less grave. 

Even if the next day found them hungover and ungainly by some miracle, luck had been on Zack’s side once more. No questions asked, Angeal covered for both him and Kunsel. Something about needing to test new simulator difficulties. Both Kunsel and Zack were incredibly appreciative of Angeal’s gesture, considering how punishing their headaches were. 

Although happy and excited about what was to come, they never talked about that event afterward, Zack always slightly embarrassed whenever he recalled it.

_What if your life..._

Ever since Zack could remember, he had always associated Angeal with something more than just a SOLDIER. It must’ve had something to do with the way he carried himself, or perhaps the way he spoke or how he looked at him. Regardless, there was no denying how amazing he was. From many points of view. Or probably better yet, from all of them. Always caring, understanding, reliable, mindful of those around him. Never too stingy to offer advice or support, and even more so than that, no matter the hardships, always willing to share a smile. Come to think of it, Angeal was probably one of the few, apart from Zack, who actually smiled there. And while the reason Angeal chose to take him under his wing had never been clearly expressed out loud, Zack liked to believe that Angeal saw a bit of himself in him.

Zack wished Genesis was more like Angeal too, but Genesis never cared about how others look at him. Compared to Zack’s constant desire to interact with everybody who crossed his path, Genesis’ behavior did appear as a complete opposite of Zack’s. Genesis wasn’t as sociable as him, although he did always take time to exchange ideas and stories with those around him. 

However, sometimes, the things he talked about... flew right over Zack’s head. Mostly stuff about Loveless and his poems, tales about a goddess, her gift, and a hero of light and how the „wandering soul” ascended and transformed, molded, and changed... Oh, and how one’s actions might come to influence the whole world when it most counted. As if that could ever happen, Zack found himself pondering, a tiny part of him wishing that actually could be a possibility.

Zack didn’t understand most of Genesis’ high concept talks, and not necessarily because he couldn’t but because he didn’t dedicate enough time for it. Although he liked the way Genesis spoke, Zack was too easily distracted, quick to act, and join his peers for training whenever prompted. Yet, he knew that even in his distant, withdrawn way, Genesis was a nice guy.

As for Sephiroth, who without fail caught everybody’s gaze, Zack always felt conflicted when weighing his feeling on him. It didn’t matter when or how or where, but his presence was as captivating as it was chilling, and Zack couldn’t blame them since he would often be caught gawking too. Whether his quiet demeanor, flawless combat skills, or curious allure, Sephiroth was fascinating, some would say even perfect, and Zack would agree with them. Though he would never say it to the hero’s face. 

Zack didn’t want to seem like he was gushing over him. Or over any of the SOLDIERs for that matter. If he were ever to be a SOLDIER-hero just like his role-models, he wanted to be his own hero, with his own ideals and goals, so that people would remember him for who he actually was and not because of who he was associated with. Having said that, it wasn’t like Zack would refuse to hang out with Angeal, Genesis, or Sephiroth or go on a mission together if either ever requested his presence.

_Have you ever thought about..._

At that particular time during his military upbringing, even Zack could see it would only a matter of time before he would accompany the First Class SOLDIERs on the field. Yet, Angeal urged him to have patience. That was always the thing with him, Angeal would scold Zack, his impulsiveness. But there was little Zack could do to hold back whenever he found something he wanted.

Since he was all too familiar with Zack’s waning patience, Angeal would keep him busy, urging him to train, to practice, partake in simulator battle after simulator battle—anything and everything to ensure that he would be able to uphold the honor of his duties, regardless of the circumstances he found himself in. That was what mattered the most, the foundation for any hero as that was what Zack wanted—to shine like Sephiroth in people’s eyes, inspire with Angeal’s aura and speak with Genesis’ convictions. That was the kind of hero Zack would be; unflinching, unwavering, and nothing would stop him from seeing his goals fulfilled.

When the talks about the new recruits arriving to the Shinra military barracks started going around, Zack couldn’t have been more excited. Due to his natural people skills and high combat aptitudes, he was tasked with overseeing their training. Slightly nervous, Zack understood that it all came down to how he presented himself in front of them. And because of that, he chose to be cool-headed and true to his heart; lead by example, just as Angeal did. 

„A goodie-two-shoes,” Kunsel teased, searching his mind for proper ways to describe Zack’s giddy albeit diligent attitude.

„A big-shot trainer,” Zack corrected, adorning a broad grin, images of him being respected in the same measure as Angeal playing behind his eyes.

Kunsel rolled his eyes. „I think you just can’t help it, though.”

Zack laughed, Kunsel always finding a way to make a big deal out of anything. Yet, Zack was sure he was doing all that to get a reaction out of him. And he wasn’t going to humor him so easily. 

„Wanting to be everybody’s friend, I mean.”

His brows furrowed as Zack got struck by a profound sense of deja vu. Feeling his distress coming alive, he stopped, uncertain in his legs’ stability. 

„Are you coming or what?” Kunsel turned to check on him. „Heard there’s gonna be great food at the canteen tonight.”

Zack shook his head, using Kunsel’s voice to wake himself up from the midst of the strange occurrence that shook him to his core. 

„Yeah, right, great food at the canteen...,” Zack forced the joke. „And you called me a hopeless optimist.”

„Did I?” Kunsel narrowed his eyes as their gazed met once Zack reached his side.

Zack gasped for a long moment scouring the depths of his mind for some much-needed evidence. „Wha-what? I was so sure it was you who...”

„Ah, probably,” he shrugged dismissively. „Besides, now that I think about it, that totally fits you.”

„I suppose it does,” Zack tried to chuckle, but it came out as a smothered exhale more than anything else.

_What would you do if..._

There was no hiding that while the first few days of training were a bit strenuous and challenging, but Zack never let the situation slip out of his control. The cadets were showing great promise, and Zack couldn’t have been prouder. At one point, even Kunsel approached him with praise, which was a strange feat in it of itself. But a welcomed one nonetheless.

Every night when he would pass by the tall glass windows before heading towards his room, Zack would smile, and his chest would swell, the pride and satisfaction he felt seemingly close to irreplaceable. By all standards, Zack proved himself to be an exemplary soldier, a great trainer, and an inspiring SOLDIER. As far as he could see, if he continued to serve his duty as he had been doing until up until that point, he would be able to hold his head up proud from the same level as the First Class SOLDIERs.

The opportunity to not only put Zack’s skills into practice but those of the people he had been training was quick to show itself. A recon mission, to which even Angeal would be a part of. 

Despite having barely been able to sleep the previous night due to the anticipation, Zack rushed to join the rookies who were gathered in the inner courtyard of the Shinra military barracks. As soon as the gates opened, Zack took a moment to gaze upon the faces of all the soldiers there and took in a deep breath. With the light of the sun descending down from the cerulean heavens, he took a step forward, knowing that the day would be his, if only he was willing to greet it. Yet, deep down, there had never been any doubts.

_If you were living..._

The recon mission was carried out successfully. So great in fact that Angeal even praised Zack before the director. Zack was so excited he barely held himself still among the impressive crowd that gathered that day for him in the debriefing room. Those moments happened so rarely, there was no chance he wouldn’t take all the joy possible from it. A promising future awaited him was what he had been told, and the thing that Zack chose to cherish the most, alongside Angeal’s kind words.

His zeal was through the roof along with his excitement, and for a long while, Zack thought that feeling of elation would be something he could carry with him, fuel him throughout most of his future endeavors. 

Or well, that might’ve been entirely the case until he passed by the tall glass windows on his way to his quarters. When, for a disturbingly long moment, everything around him turned incredibly quiet. As though the whole world around him stopped and Zack found that he was alone, the only one left standing in the aftermath of something... too terrible to put to words. With hesitation still close to his heart, he passed by the bench in his odd desire to approach the windows. 

Zack stopped right before the windows and cautiously explored his surroundings, taking note of every recess and notch. He didn’t know what he was particularly looking for, but there was no denying the ardent curiosity that took hold of him. It was as though those windows were keeping something from him, preventing him from seeing something that had been right under his nose that entire time. 

A cold breeze found its way skulking by his body, and that sensation startled him as soon as he took note of it. In a way, Zack had forgotten he could feel cold. If at first, it was just a hunch, now it became more than evident that there was something amiss about those tall glass windows. 

Maybe because of how futile it made him and his actions feel compared to the massivity of the place. Or because of the loneliness, it stirred in him, considering the empty courtyard. Or perhaps, a combination of both. Staring into the distance with his eyes open, everything seemed insignificant and far away, as though he’d been peeking through somebody else’s eyes, and there was something about his life that he was missing.

Not wanting to seem like a fool for loitering around mopily like that, and knowing that come the first light of morning, the courtyard would be buzzing with hardworking cadets, Zack forced himself away from the tall glass windows, that for whatever reason, made him feel so terribly out of place with the world around him. 

Genesis was the one to break the news about a possible Wutai conflict with the rest of them. While it was too soon to consider the altercations evolving into something more than a few scruffles and territory discussions, the military was called to prevent things from getting any worse. Everybody understood that in those circumstances, it was essential that they stand together and fight by each other’s side, all so that they could keep the situation contained and protect the countless lives that were at risk. And not just because it was their duty, but because it was the right thing to do. 

The day before their departure to Wutai, Zack stopped in front of the tall, glass windows as though by some bizarre reflex and took a moment, allowing the implication of their upcoming mission to sink in. He wasn’t afraid of what was to come because there wasn’t anything to fear. There wasn’t any doubt in his mind because of the foundation he had built his life upon was stable. Zack had everything he ever wanted. He had people who supported and encouraged him. He was... living his best-case scenario. And that was why he knew that they would succeed.

But if that was indeed the case, then why did the pressing sense of loneliness keep coming back? 

No matter how many times Zack thought he had chased it away or that it had vanished on its own, it always returned, slithering its way to his heart only to take hold of it and haunt him at the weirdest of moments. 

The whole thing had him wondering about what could’ve been the reason for such a strange occurrence. Zack was sure he had followed the path he had always wanted his whole life. He did everything right, he served and protected, trained, and climbed the ranks... And yet, something was still missing. Lacking as though, no matter how many things he had accomplished, there was an element that evaded him. 

Like a shadow of an undefined desire that whenever he’d go to reach out to grab it, it would dissipate and vanish between his fingers.

Like mist before the rising sun.

_A dream..._

_„You were amazing out there today.”_

_„So glad to have finally found you.”_

_„It’s like we’re the only ones in the world.”_

_„So tomorrow... training as usual?”_

_„It was comforting to know I wasn’t alone.”_

_„You saw me.”_

_„I never meant to become a distraction for you.”_

_„Whatever you do, don’t give up.”_

„Zack.”

He flinched at the sound of his name and turned, his face pale and eyes distraught.

„Steady yourself, SOLDIER,” Kunsel urged, his arms raised defensively towards him. „Stuck in your mind much? Geez, you look like you’ve seen a ghost.”

„Ah, I-I’m fine,” Zack offered and struggled to take in some air, his chest slightly in pain from the irregular heartbeats his heart was taking in a desperate attempt to adjust itself. „For a second there, I thought you were somebody else.”

„What’re you talking about?” Kunsel scoffed and waved his hand dismissively as he sat down on the bench behind Zack. „Nobody else comes up to this level. Only SOLDIERs allowed,” he chuckled proudly.

„Right...” Zack narrowed his eyes and went to check outside through the tall, glass windows once more. 

Despite his undefined yet persistent expectations, nobody was there. The courtyard was empty. As for the night sky, which, although filled with stars, it still wasn’t able to make the world feel any less cold.

His heart was heavy that night, but he was reluctant to show it. Zack never mentioned that wavering part of him, because, in a way, there was nothing to talk about. Being haunted by a memory of an event that never happened was... a ridiculous thing to claim. It had no foundation, there was nothing behind it, it was as ephemeral as the thing it was referring to. And because of that, Zack pushed everything back, as far as his heart allowed, hoping that with the dawn of a new day, the promise of a fresh start will come. 

The following morning, Zack woke up in a sweat, his sleep restless, and his hands trembling violently. Whether it was an early onset of PTSD or some sort of phantom pain, it was hard to say. Zack had to spend a handful of good minutes talking himself out of the emotional dead-end his mind brought him to. 

Whenever caught in a pinch like that, what Zack would do to snap himself back to reality was to repeat to himself that everything he experienced was just a dream. Nothing more than another meaningless dream. And that they had no power over him once he woke up.

Yet, that night, for whatever reason, it felt different. That night, Zack dreamt of Angeal or rather, a version of him... who wore a harsh glow in his eyes as he faced him and declared that he had tarnished the SOLDIER name. Zack couldn’t imagine why he would see something like that in his dreams. 

Unlike the previous times, that distorted image of Angeal stayed with Zack to the point in fact that he was this close to actually going and talking to his mentor about it. However, through sheer stubbornness, Zack did his best to keep himself together, but some emotions were more persistent than others. Remorse, sorrow, dejection... loss... on such a deep, existential level that Zack started to wonder if his soul might’ve been scarred somewhere in the process of experiencing his dream. 

It all felt so real... could it have genuinely been just a dream? Perhaps, some sort of vision... or something that happened... at another time?

* * * * *

„Have you ever thought about what you would do if the life you were living was a dream?”

„What do you mean, Aerith?” Zack asked, choosing not to turn over to the girl, brows furrowed as he was too focused on mixing the soil just right to accommodate her flowers.

By all rights, it was a grueling affair, and he found that being gentle was rather complicated. However, as with everything new, Zack enjoyed the challenge and was diligently working on completing the task she bestowed on him.

„Living and dreaming... Do you think you would be able to tell them apart?”

Zack stood upright, lips curling into a smile. „No doubt.” 

„You sound so certain.”

„A dream feels like a dream,” he offered without hesitation. „And living feels... well, not like a dream.”

„But what if you were dreaming a really good dream?”

The words flew softly beside his ears, and Zack was caught aback by the way they made him feel. Suddenly anxious, saddened by a feeling so terrible, it felt as though he had been grieving. 

„Would you want to wake up from that?” 

„I guess,” he mumbled and tried to turn and fixate the girl with his gaze but found it to be rather tricky, the girl elusive, as though hiding from his eyes on purpose. „Even the best dreams come to an end.”

„No, but, what if it were up to you? Come on, Zack, work with me. If you could choose to stay in the dream, living happily ever after or... go back to real life and struggle through the uncertainties that plague it... which would you want?”

„Which would I want?” he repeated, and the words felt so unnaturally familiar on his tongue, it was as though she not only had asked him the same question close to a thousand times before but also... that this wasn’t the first time they had this very same conversation. 

„I see you’re finally taking my question seriously. I don’t know if I should be honored or laugh at your frowny face.”

The sound of a soft giggle reverberated in the empty space around him, and Zack felt at ease, surrounded by warmth and... for the first time in a long while, safe.

„It’s a tough question, I’ll give you that. I might need some time to think about it. The choice is pretty obvious, though... I mean, who wouldn’t choose happiness?”

It wasn’t like his mind was made up, but the certainty underlining his words was more than evident. And in the blink of an eye, the distinctive comfort that Zack had associated with Aerith’s person dimmed, until it faded alongside the light it carried. Just as abruptly, he was then plunged in a darkness so deep and dense, the world, and everything it encompassed turned as light and insignificant as a whisper soaring on the wings of a storm.

* * * * *

There were a few fundamental truths that Zack Fair knew for certain.

He left Gongaga at a young age to join the military. 

Becoming a SOLDIER had been his life-long goal. 

Fighting alongside his heroes, Angeal, Genesis, and Sephiroth was an image so vividly imprinted in his mind that he was willing to do close to anything to achieve it.

The Wutai War had ended. 

Genesis Rhapsodos deserted Shinra and betrayed the other SOLDIERs.

Angeal Hewley died by his hand. 

The Buster Sword was left in his care, alongside its wielder’s dreams and honor. 

Nibelheim was claimed by a great fire. 

The person who ignited the flames had indeed been Sephiroth, who, in his fierce desire to find out who he truly was, had crumbled under the devastating weight of the truth. He was unable to uphold his honor, and the tethers that connected him to his duty shattered, leaving behind an empty vessel, stained beyond redemption by the lies and half-truths he was forced to live his life by.

Although still struggling with the plausibility of those events, Zack knew he couldn’t let Sephiroth do as he pleased anymore. As thing stood, Zack was the only SOLDIER First Class left, and it was up to him to put an end to Sephiroth’s spree of instilling death and disaster to the land around him. 

Zack distinctively remembers that day. The heavy burden that was placed on his shoulders. How hard it became to breathe, how hot the flames and heavy his heart. 

From afar, things looked straightforward; Zack would have to act just as if he would be bringing any other criminal to justice. But in truth, things were rarely as simple as his mind made it seem. For multiple reasons... for too many reasons...

The criminal, for one, wasn’t just anyone. 

It was Sephiroth. 

His hero, his peer, his equal, his brother. The last link to the past, which Zack was still so vainly clinging onto. 

With every step he took through the town that was slowly being devoured by the savage flames, Zack became more unsure about what he was going to do when he would eventually meet Sephiroth. Try to talk to him again was a recurring thought, but that never seemed to work as well as he wanted. Persuade him to calm down and... No, that wasn’t it. Sephiroth didn’t need to calm down. He was always calm, which only made him more terrifying. He always seemed to have his wits about him, whether he was debriefing the troops or slaying foes on the battlefield. 

While ideas evaded Zack, one thing was for sure. He wasn’t going to allow Sephiroth to escape him again. He knew he had to apprehend him, make him answer for his crimes... for everything he had done. 

The Mako Reactor was as much of a terrifying sight then as it had been the first time he set his eyes upon it. Zack inspected the area before closing the distance between him and it only to spot a defenseless Tifa, lying bundled on the ground. 

Reacting on instinct, Zack ran to the girl, eyes quick to scrutinize her, holding his breath as he prayed that she was unharmed. He wouldn’t know what he would do if she wasn’t. He wouldn’t know what to say if... 

The girl must’ve been snooping around again. However, that time around, she had definitely chosen her target poorly. She should’ve known better than following Sephiroth like that. Carefree like she did when she trailed Zack around town.

Then again, Zack did proclaim his unshakable faith in Sephiroth. He had told her he saw him as a brother, and without a doubt, she got the impression that Sephiroth was as harmless as Zack was. Feeling a chilling shiver across his spine, Zack couldn’t do anything but recognize his guilt at what happened to Tifa. Yet, the thing that hurt the most was when instead of allowing him to help her just as he reached down to her, Tifa dodged his hand. 

Trembling, the girl chose to remain on the floor, her eyes welling up as resentment filtered through her body—anger and hatred for the SOLDIERs, for Shinra... and, in the same measure, for Zack.

Zack climbed the steps leading up to the Nibelheim Mako Reactor, Tifa’s words putting an unprecedented pressure on him. Although he was determined to push forward, he knew that he deserved the hostility. The mistakes he had made were close to unpardonable—just as much as Sephiroth’s. But unlike Sephiroth, Zack was willing to answer for his shortcomings, and he knew he would do everything it took and more to make up for them. 

Zack had made up his mind; he wouldn’t run away. He wouldn’t disappoint again. Above all the conflicting thoughts bubbling in his mind, he was a SOLDIER and would stand firm by his duty, no matter what.

As soon as Zack stepped through the doors, the Mako filled the air was fast to sting his lungs. It was thicker this time around, as though somebody had messed with the Mako storage tanks or the reactor’s setting, he couldn’t tell for sure. 

Glancing upward, willing to investigate his surroundings, Zack noticed that the metal door that was previously bolted shut... the one with the placard bearing the name Jenova above it... was open. 

Jenova...

Jenova. 

Disheveled, Zack couldn’t believe it took him this long to figure out the uncanny familiarity that came with the name. It was the one Sephiroth revealed to him when they arrived at Nibelheim. That was his mother’s name, he had said. 

Although that couldn’t be the case.

It didn’t make sense. The same name appearing suddenly like that... in the heart of the mountains... by a small town located in the shadow of a Mako reactor. Shaken a few too many thoughts that had no apparent rhyme or reason behind them, Zack saught to not permit them to shroud his judgment. He had to find out more if he were to ever elucidate this mystery and, as such, pressed with his investigation.

Beyond the door, however, with his body humble and peculiarly small, Sephiroth had his hand gently pressed against a large glass pod. One that the more time Zack spent in studying it, the clearer the image of something unnatural took shape. Because inside the pod, a creature like nothing he had ever seen before stood motionless, a myriad of cables and tubes connected to it. Specifically, to a technologically sophisticated headgear, which had the name Jenova inscribed on it.

Sephiroth spoke softly as he faced the pod, as though addressing the creature trapped inside the pod. And while most of his words came out as muddled, indistinctive as they reached Zack’s ear, there were a few he could clearly distinguish. Zack gasped as the word mother was being repeated. Sephiroth kept calling the creature whenever he’d address her, followed by promises of reclaiming the world in his name. Tales of promised lands and destinies, inheritance, and glory...

In clenching his fist, Zack began advancing towards Sephiroth, unwilling to stand idly by any longer. No matter how much Zack called out for him, Sephiroth wouldn’t even flinch, seemingly reluctant to allow his moment together with the being to be disturbed. Words like inferiors and thieves then flew in the air around him, and Zack frowned, Sephiroth’s simplistic way of labeling people downright irritating. Based on Sephiorht’s delusional standards... nobody was deemed worthy of anything, not even of life.

His hand was on the Buster Sword when Zack finally closed the distance between them. He couldn’t accept that Sephiroth had lost his mind, but even if that were the case, he still wanted to believe that he would help him find it. If only he would ask. And while that was the wrong mentality to head into a confrontation with, Zack didn’t know how else to look at Sephiroth. 

Zack had been by his side for so long, the respect and admiration he harbored for him so deeply rooted inside of him that there was no mistaking the existence of a part of his soul that couldn’t accept that he was a monster. Or that all the harm caused in the village was indeed inflicted by Sephiroth's hands. A part of him still wanted to believe that it was all a misunderstanding, an error of sorts... just as it had happened with Angeal.

But Zack should’ve known better. He should’ve known by now that Sephiroth had never been Angeal nor ever claimed to be like him or follow in his teachings. Because as soon as Sephiroth registered the slight whiff of threat coming off of Zack’s blade, which was aimed at his throat, he pushed Zack back, an instantaneous reflex delivered as a ruthless disengage. 

„Sephiroth, I trusted you.”

The words echoed loudly and desperately, their sting just as powerful. Yet Sephiroth maintained his unfazed gaze, his eyes pale and vile as they shone with anticipation at the prospects of an incoming duel. 

Understanding that there was no coming back from their predicament, Zack fastened his grip on the Buster Sword’s hilt. Looking to employ all the strength that had been instilled within the heirloom, Zack began swinging it towards Sephiroth... towards his former brother in arms.

The fight was grim and arduous, with neither parties willing to give in an inch. Zack was attentive at everything around him, his mind desperately searching for clues and signs as his body moved and reacted at the slightest twinge or gesture, for anything that could help him—direct him towards an opening in Sephiroth’s defense. Anything that he could say or do to convince Sephiroth to talk to him, to make him understand how things got to be like that. While Sephiroth had never been good at talking, he did try, especially whenever Zack approached him.

Yet this was not that time anymore. And Zack needed to understand that. He had to do the impossible and let go of the burdening past. If he still allowed his nostalgia to hold him back, then Sephiroth would soon detect that weakness in him, since, as things stood, he didn’t seem inclined to go easy on him. Not even in the slightest. If Sephiroth had ever been interested in talking back then, now, he had utterly and wholly abandoned that entire mindset. 

Zack might never know what was exactly going through Sephiroth’s mind, but one thing was for sure—that was not the Sephiroth he once knew. He had died in the fires that engulfed Nibelheim, and that was something Zack had to reconcile with, accept—no matter how his soul was fighting that reality.

Sephiroth unleashed his attacks, again and again, Masamune’s full strength aimed at Zack, his eyes spelling death as declarations about him being the chosen one spewed out of him. That he, along with his mother, would claim the planet once more. 

Zack was trying to keep track of the words, but they didn’t make sense, and in those tense moments, he couldn’t bring himself to focus on them. Too many things were happening, too fast, and while his body was quick to react to Sephiroth’s merciless engages and vicious re-engages, there was nothing he could do when the Buster Sword got yanked from his hands. The moment of vulnerability caught him unprepared, and Sephiroth didn’t squander his chance. Zack got pushed down the stairs, the force of Sephiroth’s attack all-mighty as he was unable to bring himself to breath and reassume his battle stance. 

In that sort of close-quartered fight, where every little gesture and intake of breath counted, dithering was what ultimately spelled Zack’s downfall. And what convinced Sephiroth that he had claimed the day. 

Just as the image of the silver-haired aggressor flitted between his half-opened eyelids, Zack had to recognize that despite his most ardent wishes, Sephiroth had won against him. His convictions proved stronger than his, and in the end, that was most likely how he would meet his end—by the hands of his former brother in arms. Which was probably not as bad of a death as it seemed. 

Although it was funny, Zack thought for a split second. Angeal was the first who almost killed him when he pushed him off, and he ended up in the slums. Genesis almost crushed his mind with his power. And now... Sephiroth would be the one to deliver the final blow. 

So, in the end, no matter how much Zack tried to escape that vicious circle that SOLDIER ended up representing, he would still be devoured by it, body and soul. 

The sturdy chains of all-coming darkness began to creep up on him from the furthest reaches of his mind. And yet, Zack wasn’t afraid. No, far from that. Because in all that soundless clangor and shapeless chaos that reached out to him, there was peace. And with it came a distinctive sense of familiarity. 

Zack had been there before... he had felt the reassuring embrace of death and just like anybody else, body weary and mind vulnerable, even he became tempted to gradually succumb to its comfort and... accept it. 

„Zack!”

He heard his name being called out... the storm of swords as they clashed violently and roughly against each other... then the sound of glass shattering, sharp and loud, until his head turned dizzy from the fact that his rationality was steadily slipping through the cracks of his consciousness, ever dripping into the nothingness that enveloped him.

„Zack...”

He never knew his name could sound so beautifully as somebody called out for him once more. If only he had enough strength to fully open his eyes and see who it was that was addressing him... If he could do that, then maybe it would give him enough power to push past the pain. 

In those rapidly fleeting moments, Zack saw himself extending his arm towards the person who collapsed right beside him on the steps of the reactor’s inner chamber. In doing so, he hoped he could ground himself in that elusive present. Perhaps, that was the last chance he would get at claiming himself. Though, all those wishes... all that wishful thinking, baseless without a capable body to carry it out and turn it into reality might’ve been made too late.

His hand never did reach its target. The last thing Zack made sense of that fateful day at the Nibelheim Mako Reactor was the sound of distant and dissonant voices as his mind got consumed by an unabating murky darkness.

* * * * *

_„Can I count on you?”_

For a long while, Zack allowed the words to circle his mind, his soul... and whatever was left of his being. It wasn’t necessarily that he didn’t want to react, but it had slipped his judgment that he actually could do anything. That he could fight his condition and impose himself before his vague predicament.

_„Glad to see that fire hasn’t died out.”_

It must’ve been so long since he did any of that. As things stood, the notion of time and space were distance concepts, ones that didn’t matter anymore. And because of that, Zack didn’t take notice of them, although he did yearn to know about them. Long for the distinctive stability that those concepts brought with them and for the comfort that they soothed his mind with. At least, that way, he would have a starting point in all that uncertainty that his being kept drifting in and out of.

_„Things don’t change only because we wish them to.”_

Right... Fighting. Honor the promises made—those were the things that made the difference.

Zack _knew_ that.

He distinctively remembered the sparring matches, the training sessions, as for the promises he made... he couldn’t entirely piece them together. As to what they involved and who they were addressed to... It was as though there was a part of his mind that was inaccessible to him, the haze still claiming ownership over most of it. 

If nothing else, that situation—or whatever it was—made Zack more appreciative of the fact that there had indeed been a time when he had full control... over his feelings... over his mind. Over his life. 

It was difficult to recall when he got robbed of all of that.

Zack wanted to believe that he at least put up a fight.

_„We hold our legacy in our hands.”_

The words that remained with Zack held a lot of meaning, weight, and struck him each time he heard them replaying in the vast, empty space around him. They made him want to reach out, to react, but in the stillness of his whereabouts, there was little he could do to make a difference.

Regardless of much he wished it.

„Has that time come then?... when you’ve finally made up your mind?”

The voice came out of nowhere. But there was no mistaking it. Unlike the previous thoughts Zack took notice of, there was something about this one that was... different.

„Happiness or freedom... which one will it be?”

That voice... Although it seemed impossible to have that sort of conversation, at that strange point and in those constricting circumstances, it could only come from one person...

„Angeal!” 

Zack heard himself cry out, the drag in his throat rough as it felt like that had been the first time he had spoken in an agonizingly long while. And with the words, as though being summoned by them, came the image of a one-winged Angeal settling imposingly before him, his gaze stern, yet warm and posture mighty albeit peaceful. 

Just as Zack remembered him to be. 

„It’s you... Angeal, I’ve been looking for you for so long... I have so many things that I want to...” Zack blurt out as too many unspoken desires sprouted in his mind only to stop, suddenly feeling that he wouldn’t be able to word them all out properly.

„Well, then go on, Zack. Tell me, what is it that you want?”

Zack frowned, his mouth dry as his convictions wavered before his mentor, the significance of all his wants seemingly trifling once made to actually weight them.

„What I want...?” 

It was strange to feel so small again. Zack hadn’t felt like a cadet... well, pretty much since he was a cadet. But before Angeal, Zack was sure everybody felt inferior. And not in a bad way. The SOLDIER-hero was just that imposing that there was nothing Zack could ever compare him with. Regardless of what happened after Genesis’ attempts at corrupting him, Angeal still represented the embodiment of honor and dreamed in Zack’s mind.

„A lot has happened... so much...”

„Which should only make it easier for you to discern between your convictions.”

„My convictions...” he managed, needing a moment to come to terms with the significance those words carried.

„Stay true to them, and you will never falter.”

The words reverberated through him, then just like they did the first time he heard them from Angeal. Their sudden reunion was uncanny, strange, but Zack didn’t consider it was out of place. He wasn’t joking before, judging by everything he had been experiencing for what felt like years... entire lifetimes even... this was nothing. Or better yet, it was a welcomed changed. A much-deserved break from the torment that had become such a big part of him, Zack feared it might’ve started to define him better than anything else. 

„I just don’t get it anymore,” Zack brought his hands up to his head and rubbed his forehead. 

Unknowingly, Angeal had encouraged the spark of a battle inside of Zack. The will to fight and oppose his condition, even if neither could possibly predict its outcome. It would seem that stagnation might’ve been his downfall, as meandering through the passivity had gradually eroded Zack’s sense of self, and in time his mind. 

„Or no, rather, what I mean to say is that...”

_„I had you watching my back.”_

_„You want to know what I wished for then?”_

_„No matter what, don’t you dare give up.”_

_„What do you want from me?”_

_„You are such a mystery to me.”_

_„I want to know more about you.”_

_„I like you.”_

_„I just don’t want to lose you.”_

__

__

_"You were the one who helped me probably more than you could ever know.”_

_„You chose to stay by my side.”_

_„I’m here with you, and you’re here with me.”_

_„Even if it takes a hundred years and one day, I will find my way to you.”_

__

_„Seeing you smile is all I want.”_

You...

You...

You...

Word after word, layer after layer, the depths of his soul got uncovered, and, within it, Zack found something special... a familiarity that he couldn’t dismiss. And while the haze was still preventing him from seeing who his thoughts were referring to, his heart was not so easily fooled. It was reacting so strongly to the mysterious figure that even if Zack didn’t have an exact name or face, there was no mistaking the significance it struck within him.

It was still an effort to fight the instincts his condition had trained into himself, but even Zack knew that the time to give in wasn’t yet upon him. Because he still had a promise to uphold. His life was not his to throw away as he chose. It was connected to others, bound with theirs, shared with somebody else. Somebody that gave him meaning. Somebody who was very finely defined in the depths of his mind through... 

the sensation of his adoring touch, 

the heat of his soft breath... 

the shape of his tender smile.

_... Cloud..._

The name finally appeared in his mind, allowing a flood of emotions and memories to fill him, engulf his body, and make his heart tear apart and come together again, the process continuous and strenuous, exhausting, and... incredible.

The blond rookie, Cloud Strife... Cloud... Blondie... 

That whole time, the ghost in his memories, the undefined shadow that stirred him had a name, and him, like a blind man staggering his way around a cliff’s edge, had been unable to see it.

In his chest, Zack felt his heart chocked with emotions, which at the same time made him aware of a pain that the persevering stagnation had ultimately covered with their ceaseless meandering. The sensation that he was close to suffocating soon followed, and with it, another hint that what he was feeling was good... because for the first time in a long while, he was doing it—he was actually feeling. The ground turned unstable under him, as questions related to whether he was alive or dead started roaming in his mind. 

„Those wings, Angeal... I want them too...” 

As though lighter, with the weight of the haze lifted from his shoulders, Zack rose his gaze and settled it upon the image of a smiling Angeal. He was glowing, bright, and flawless. Proud even. Of many things, but most of all, Zack wanted to believe that he was proud of him. Just as he was about to open his mouth and call out to his mentor, Angeal took to the skies. And after becoming one with the light from the radiant sun, he disappeared.

„So that I can be free,” Zack ended, watching as a single feather swayed its way from the high heavens and down to the crystalline ground around his feet. 

And once it touched it, ripple began rising, giving way to a delicate yet lingering circle that expanded and expanded until it disappeared, becoming one with the stillness. Zack gazed up at the bright sky above him once more, the light of the sun hitting him just right, illuminating the outline of his face. 

The heat that descended alongside the light became stronger little by little until, in the blink of an eye, everything shattered as though the very fabric of the world Zack had been living in had been tested and ultimately, been found fallible.

* * * * *

Zack woke up on the floor, surrounded by an alarming abundance of glass pieces. His body was numb and heavy, but his head was even more so. He didn’t waste time thinking about his condition. In those moments, the sole sentiment dominating him, animating every fiber of his muscles, was urging him to get up and search his surroundings so that he could find a way out of the cage that had held him captive.

Peering over his shoulder, Zack spotted a large pod. His chest tightened when he connected the pieces in his head and realized that was where he must’ve been kept. Holding his breath, he turned his head only to find another one right next to his. And inside... with his eyes closed, lying motionless and quiet, was Cloud. Zack fumbles as he forced his way up on his feet and rushed over to it. 

Focusing his gaze on the control panel, Zack lunged his hand forward and pressed the first button that grazed his touch, his breathing uneven as the only he could do was stand to the side and wait for the contraption to conform to his demands and begin draining that strange liquid that immersed Cloud.

After what felt like entire hours had passed, the door opened with a mechanical tick, and Cloud fell outside of the pod. Zack caught him firmly, his arms around him, protective and unyielding, eager to hold and reassure, just as he always had.

„Cloud...” he tightened his arms around his frail body, their reunion as emotional as it was agonizing. „I knew you were real... I always knew... even if my mind lost track of you, my heart never did,” Zack said and moved back a bit so that he could brush his thumb over his pale cheek. „You know what? I don’t care about the blue sky, about the sunshine or the stars...” he murmured and felt his eyes stinging with gathered tears, „they’re all pale imitations of you anyway.” 

Zack’s gaze fell on the blond. It was hard to read him like that. His eyes were still closed, Cloud probably in a deep yet twisted slumber. One in which reality, dreams, and alternate timelines seemed to come together and mess with their minds, confuse to the point up and down and left and right become interchangeable and in time, lose their meaning altogether. The reason Zack came out of that state must’ve been a result of multiple things, and yet he knew Cloud was a significant part of the whole process. Zack’s admiration for him, his respect, his adoration, his... love for him were no mere fleeting things. 

Throughout his ceaseless dream, Zack had a glimpse of a life without Cloud in it. It was remarkable, filled with countless achievements and success, and pretty much everything a soldier in the military would ever want. But after tasting so much happiness by Cloud’s side, there was little that could bring him close to that high. In Zack’s heart, there was nothing that could replace Cloud.

„I’d rather live under a steel sky for the rest of my life than be apart from you.” 

Zack gasped once the realization flashed in his mind. He knew that was the case for a very long time, yet never actually put it to words, not even in his mind. The implications were vast, there was no dismissing that, but Zack didn’t want to anymore. 

With a shaky tone to his voice, Zack parted his lips and spoke, tears still flowing down from his glowing, yet sorrowful eyes.

„I’m not sure what’s happening or what you’re seeing in your dreams... and trust me when I say that I know it’s tough, but...” 

Zack swallowed, the tears having a way to choke him up as his arms brought Cloud closer to his chest.

„Won’t you please wake up?”

* * * * *

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I knew even from before starting to write this chapter that I wanted it to be special. It had to be... different than the rest. This time around, we have taken the deepest look into Zack's mind than ever before. Let me say that it was an incredible experience to write this *introspection intensifies*. 
> 
> Following the model of the unreliable narrator, I have envisioned the mind as a maze and well, once one is stuck within, what options are there to get out? Or better yet what can one employ when fighting their greatest enemy, themselves, or a vision of themselves? I hope that the hardships Zack went through were palpable and that this puzzle wasn't something that he sorted out in a few days. It took him **years** to get out of the maze.
> 
> With the completion of this chapter, I want to say that it's about time we put a number to the chapter listings. Thus, I think there are one or two more chapters left of my story. Maybe some epilogue and small snippets afterward, but I have not entirely made up my mind about that~
> 
> Also a _BONUS_ feature for this chapter is this [SONG](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=OplU67FMw5U) t̶o̶ ̶w̶h̶i̶c̶h̶ ̶I̶ ̶l̶i̶s̶t̶e̶n̶e̶d̶ ̶t̶o̶ ̶c̶o̶n̶s̶t̶a̶n̶t̶l̶y̶ ̶w̶h̶i̶l̶e̶ ̶w̶r̶i̶t̶i̶n̶g̶ ̶
> 
> Last but not least, be sure to check out my [TUMBLR](https://www.tumblr.com/blog/nightyelfy) if any of you are ever in the area~


	13. Chapter 13

It took Zack a while to accustom himself with his surroundings, the dormant state from which he had just emerged still proving to be somewhat of a burden, especially when trying to recall certain things or piecing together fragments of what he did. As for where he was, although it seemed improbable, Zack was almost certain he had been there before. The circumstances were significantly different, though and the place looked different, but there was no mistaking the distinctively eerie feeling that the area emanated. 

The Shinra manor was like no other building Zack had ever been in. One of the reasons it remained imprinted so distinctively in his mind was because unwillingly, it became a center point for him during his stay in Nibelheim. It had been Sephiroth’s self-imposed prison for six days, and at some point in the aftermath of some outlandish events that had yet to make their way back to Zack, it had become a prison for both him and Cloud. For what purpose, under who’s order and supervision, those answers were still shrouded in mystery. In more ways than one, Zack dreaded to make any sort of connections just yet. 

Before his eyes, there was another pressing matter that needed his utmost attention. By his side, a catatonic Cloud was barely able to move even when assisted, his step contained and body ungainly as he hanged with one hand around Zack’s neck, Zack having to hold onto him for even the slightest of movement. It might’ve been premature to say anything for sure, but as things stood right then and there, Cloud’s well-being, or rather, his entire life, was in Zack’s hands. 

„There you go,” Zack breathed and settled Cloud down on a bed he had found in one of the rooms he stumbled upon once they climbed up from the manor’s basement.

The manor looked abandoned, probably even more so than it was when Zack first set foot in it, back when he went in search of Sephiroth. The upper levels had never drawn any of their eyes, for the basement was where Sephiroth spent most of his time during the research he conducted in solitude. Yet, Zack couldn’t recall for the life of him if all those computers, gadgets, and gizmos and monitoring systems were in place there from the start. If they were, then they had been kept hidden very neatly. However, if they weren’t, then... at what point were they set up? And again, for what purpose?

Zack hummed as he stopped his pacing of the small room to think, his eyes searching his surroundings diligently until they fell upon a weary Cloud.

„There’s nothing to worry about, Cloud,” he said with a smile and then approached the blond. „I’ll take care of everything.”

Once kneeled next to the bed, Zack took his time and scrutinized the blond. He wasn’t looking for anything in particular. It was mostly Zack’s desire to take the chance and enjoy the sight of him, getting reaccustomed to the shape of his face, his pale cheeks, and beautiful blue eyes that were hidden underneath half-closed eyelids. In many ways, he was exactly as he remembered him to be, although, the flawless, dazzling light that was once encircling his eyes had dimmed. To such an excruciating point that it made Zack’s chest tighten when he noticed the change. 

Scrunching his lips, Zack leaned forward slightly, raising his hand towards Cloud. He fastened it along the line of his jaw, his thumb gently caressing his cheek.

„You’re fine. You’ll be back on your feet in no time,” Zack spoke around his nerves, pushing a dreadful truth only he made sense of to the back of his mind. „But first, we need to get you a change of clothes. Walking around in these soaked ones won’t speed up your recovery, that’s for sure,” he smiled and jumped up on his feet.

Just then, Zack turned incredibly fast in the way he averted his gaze from the blond, looking to ensure that Cloud wouldn’t catch any hints of discouragement on his face. Deep down, Zack wanted to believe he was doing a good job at keeping his worries under wraps.

In his wander around the manor for clothes, apart from scouring each and every wardrobe and drawer he encountered, Zack also recovered the Buster Sword. It hadn’t been moved very far from the room they awakened in, its massivity and weight coming as an advantage, as there were very few who would be able to move it freely and even fewer who could wield it in combat. And while he did find some clothes for Cloud, Zack completely disregarded the fact that his were more or less in the same deplorable state. Yet, he didn’t particularly mind. Zack knew his SOLDIER uniform would dry soon enough, and, most importantly, that the Mako imbued in them wasn’t going to affect him. 

„These clothes are a bit worn. I hope you’re not gonna mind that too much,” Zack offered as he made his way into the room, a pair of pants and shirt folded neatly in his hands. „It was all I could find that was still in once piece. By the looks of it, only SOLDIERs were allowed to stay here at some point or another... Because, check this out, I found you a uniform!” he presented cheerfully and stopped right before the blond.

Despite the excitement Zack was radiating with, there was no reaction from the blond. Not even a twitch or a jolt. Nothing at all. Cloud was as still and quiet as he had been ever since Zack retrieved him from the pod downstairs. It was as though somebody had turned off the lights, and Zack was unable to find the switch. 

„Ok, then, well,” he took in a deep breath and hopped on the bed beside him. „Let’s see if I’m any good at dressing you up as I am... well, no, never mind. I’m not going to say anything else,” Zack half-chuckled, biting his tongue as his cheeks flushed with a light crimson color.

While upsetting Cloud had always been the last thing Zack ever wished to do, there was a part of him that would’ve been willing to say anything if it meant it would cause a reaction in the blond. Regardless of how small.

He gasped lowly, recognizing that despite his best intentions, he might’ve come at a standstill. Zack had no idea how long it would take Cloud to wake up. And while that uncertainty would’ve easily eaten away at his heart if left unchecked, the excitement Zack felt when he found that he had been reunited with Cloud after what felt like entire years had passed was still ablaze inside of him. Because of that, he felt encouraged to not permit his worries and doubts to get the better of him.

More than anything, Zack seemed resolute in his wish to stay by Cloud’s side and do everything in his power to make his recovery as comfortable as possible. Plus, Cloud wouldn’t want him to lose spirit. He would’ve wanted him to persevere and stay strong in his convictions. It might’ve seemed like a tough task to follow through on, but Zack wanted to overcome this hurdle just as much for himself as for the blond. Through his sheer willpower, Zack had granted their lives a second chance, and he was more than determined to make the most of that opportunity.

Zack was careful as to how he undressed Cloud. There was no denying he didn’t like to see him so vulnerable, but Zack understood that if it was up to him, Cloud would’ve returned to his usual self in the very next moment. Maybe that was it—Cloud was just tired and needed some time to rest. Zack nodded, repeating the thoughts in his mind until he _almost_ convinced himself that there was some truth behind them. 

At one point during his venture of caring for Cloud, Zack’s mind got engulfed with glimpses of the time they spent together in Nibelheim. It felt overwhelming to consider how many things were able to change in just a few days in which they were allowed to be themselves, in which the leash of the military didn’t pull on their necks at the slightest trespassing. But most of all, it was comforting to find that underneath all that hard exterior and untouchable personas, they were human, and they were still able to feel if given a chance. 

Gulping down on his sentimentality, Zack removed the last articles of Cloud’s attire and tossed everything to the side. It became impossible not to notice that Cloud was as beautiful as Zack remembered him to be, although, somewhat skinner and...

„Bruises?” Zack narrowed his eyes as he went to investigate the strange marks on his wrists. 

His eyes then went upwards to his forearm only to find small purple spots—some sort of needle punctures. Zack felt his heart drop, and guided by a stinging uneasiness, he went to investigate Cloud’s other arm. 

The exact same wounds were there just as well. 

Gritting his teeth in frustration, Zack extended his own arms forward to check if he bore anything similar.

„Nothing,” he breathed and took a moment to gather his thoughts.

Although they were both put into identical pods, stored in the same place, that didn’t necessarily mean they were subjected to the same treatments. Unlike Zack, Cloud had never been exposed to Mako before, and because of that, his body wasn’t faring too well with it. 

As a SOLDIER, Zack’s injuries healed faster, and wounds and bruises disappeared before he would even notice them. The same, sadly, couldn’t be said about Cloud, who, by the looks of it, was still suffering the aftermath of some gruesome events. Not to mention, the presence of a long scar in the middle of his chest, deep by the looks of it, clean as though it was made with surgical precision. Zack ran the tips of his fingers over it, surprised and horrified that he had no idea where it came from or who had caused it.

„They will heal,” Zack’s voice shivered in the small space between them and brushed his thumbs over the markings around his wrists before bringing them up to his lips and pressing a kiss onto each of them. „In time, everything will heal.”

By the time Zack was done changing Cloud, the sun had already begun fleeting from its spot atop the bleary heavens. The horizon turned bright orange, and it became impossible to ignore as the light protruded through the windows of the Shinra manor and showered the two with its glow. 

„Looks good on you,” Zack offered with a smile. 

He might’ve allowed his eyes to linger too much on the blond again, but there were moments when he honestly couldn’t help it. This time around, it must’ve been because Zack had never considered how fitting a SOLDIER uniform would be on Cloud. Zack had known for a long time that Cloud had everything it took to be a SOLDIER, and it surprised him that he never made the rank in the first place. Huffing out a quiet laugh, Zack ruffled his blond hair before turning his head to a nearby window. 

Standing up from his place beside the blond, Zack went to the window to check the area outside. There was little he could spot from that distance, which reignited his caution. Although having nothing to encourage his distress, the clenching sensation in his stomach that had been plagued him since waking from his twisted slumber had not diminished in the slightest. 

„I think we should get moving. It’s hard to tell if this place is patrolled or not,” Zack then offered and turned to Cloud. „Come on, now,” he encouraged. „I’ll keep us safe.”

Just like before, Zack fastened Cloud’s barely responsive body against him, and with small steps, they left the Shinra manor behind them. 

Stepping outside and breathing fresh air felt strange. Actually, breathing felt weird altogether. Due to his forced confinement, Zack had now become a lot more aware of the things around him—things he grew to miss and knew would take time to reaccustom himself with properly. 

Zack exhaled but chose to stay quiet, considering that if he was feeling so strange and foreign in his own body, he couldn’t imagine what Cloud was going through. He squeezed Cloud against him, looking to reassure and protect him through his gesture—one instinct that just like breathing came naturally to him.

The road from the Shinra manor led them, unsurprisingly, to a familiar place. So familiar in fact that it felt downright bizarre. Just like through a dream, the town of Nibelheim appeared proudly and pristinely before Zack’s gaze, and for a long moment, he couldn’t find his words nor hide his amazement at the sight.

The image of some vile flames couldn’t have been faked. It lived through his mind, fueling his nightmares better than anything else, and yet, despite everything Zack thought he knew, things seemed like they were back to normal. Nibelheim stood under the twilight sky once more, and Zack shuddered in distress. 

It was as if Sephiroth’s wrongdoings never occurred. A clean slate.

As though they had never stopped in town to investigate the reactor. The entire village thus spared.

As though... their time together never happened. The memories now a glimpse of something that only existed in Zack and Cloud's minds.

„But this can’t be... I mean, we were there! I saw how the town... it was eaten up by the flames. Say, Cloud, do you remember...” Zack blurted out and turned, his eyes searching Cloud’s face desperately for affirmance. 

Gasping, Zack was taken aback when he found the same dim light in Cloud’s gaze from before. For a moment there, his fatigued state had slipped his mind. It was clear that Zack still hadn’t gotten used to seeing him so defenseless.

In clenching his fist, Zack fought to make peace with the fact that the torment he was feeling within was a good thing. Unlike before, when everything was pristine and flawless, as though constructed to reenact his own version of an idyllic life, now he got to see the world with his eyes. It wasn’t much of a welcoming sight, but it was more than he had before. With that in mind, Zack pushed himself forward, eager to explore and make sense of the conflicting reality that instilled itself before him.

„The professor’s test samples are escaping.”

Flinching violently, Zack got struck by the distressing way in which those words were uttered. He peered over his shoulder and found a group of infantrymen heading towards them. 

Usually, Zack couldn’t have been more joyful to see Shinra personnel looking to intercept him with such fervor. Usually, that meant that it was only a matter of time before he would be relieved of his duties, sent back to the military barracks, and served a hot meal. However, those weren’t usual times. Based on the way the soldier was addressing his other two companions, the bizarre rush to their steps and the forceful grip on their weapons, their intentions were anything but friendly. 

„What is the meaning of this?” Zack growled, his blood igniting in his veins. „Don’t you know who we are? Don’t you guys recognize us?”

Zack held himself steady, but at the same time, he knew he couldn’t give the infantrymen too much leeway. Due to his condition, Cloud wasn’t able to defend himself if worse came to pass, and because of that, Zack had to act before it was too late. Using the little time he had at his disposal, Zack rushed behind a nearby house, employing its sturdy brick walls as momentary cover.

„You stay here,” Zack was attentive as he leaned Cloud against the wall. „I’ll deal with this. I promise.”

Zack jumped to the side and raised his weapon against the infantrymen. He was surrounded, yet he didn’t feel overwhelmed by the situation. There were many things he still didn’t understand, and while he would’ve liked to be given a chance to explain himself before having to resort to violence, it seemed that the infantrymen were not of the same mindset. The Buster Sword’s blade was glowing in the last light of the evening when with the corner of his eyes, Zack spotted the infantrymen steadily approaching from all directions. 

While those in front of him had their eyes set on him, those nearing from the rear held no interest in him whatsoever. 

Zack’s eyes grew when he realized that it was Cloud they aimed to reach. As soon as that connection was made in his mind, something snapped within Zack, and in less than a moment, a flush of anger intertwined with the very essence of his being.

„I don’t know what’s gotten into you guys, but I’ll be damned if I’ll let any of you lay a hand on either of us.”

Hearing him speak with such conviction might’ve deterred the infantrymen from approaching them as forcefully as they initially did, but they still seemed steadfast in following their orders.

Zack understood his predicament and didn’t hesitate in both deflecting their attacks and lunging forward and answering their engages with thrusts of his own weapon. Although confident in his abilities, even Zack had to admit that he didn’t expect to dispatch the infantrymen so quickly and decisively. 

Zack stood victorious before the now empty battlefield, yet in the back of his mind, he knew that it was only a matter of time before more troops showed up. The Shinra military was known for their perseverance, among other things. 

„What’s wrong with me?” Zack murmured and brought up his hand to both study it and use it as an anchor for his focus. „All that slacking from my usual training routine must've gotten to me,” he tried to joke his way through his uncertainty as he suddenly felt weak, his head throbbing with pain.

Forcing himself past the discomfort, Zack then retraced his steps back to Cloud. Even with his ungainly state, he knew where his priorities lied. Since the way ahead was clear for the moment, Zack saught to use that time to get as far away from Nibelheim as possible. 

Zack had no idea why the Shinra troops attacked them. He had no clue as to why they were labeled as „test subjects.” He found it hard to believe that the town got built back up from its ruinous state, but it wasn’t like he was given any time to debate any of those issues extensively. Not that his dizzy state allowed it either.

Despite the countless thoughts roaming through his mind, it wasn’t until he found Cloud lying precisely as he had left him, breathing softly as the breeze played in his hair that he allowed himself to relax. Zack hadn’t perceived until that very moment that he was worried, but then again, maybe it shouldn’t have come as such a surprise in the first place. The last time he had lost track of Cloud, they ended up being separated and kept apart for an excruciatingly long amount of time. Time in which Cloud was mistreated, neglected, and abused, and Zack was unable to do anything to prevent that. His heart ached at his futility, but he promised himself he wouldn’t let that happened again. No matter what, this time around, he would keep Cloud safe.

Dragging an arm around his neck and gently as though not to hurt or startle Cloud, Zack fastened his grip around his body once more. Slowly, they proceeded down the road leading out of Nibelheim, in a way, leaving behind a lot more uncertainty than they harbored when they first arrived there. 

„Cloud, listen... we might not be able to return to the base. I know I said we’d go back there as soon as mission here was over, but it might not be safe right now.” 

Zack did his best to explain in a way that wouldn’t come to worry Cloud, and in the same measure, actively search for something to say to hide his distress. 

„So instead of that... how about we go to Midgar?”

He offered that on impulse. It was only after he had spoken that Zack took a moment to realize exactly what he had just said. However, maybe he shouldn’t be so hesitant to talk anymore. It felt like so much time had passed since they last spoke to each other, Zack felt like he should take this opportunity to put all those little hesitations to rest and give voice to the things he had been keeping from Cloud. Although Zack wasn’t sure exactly how to voice his confession, he knew he wanted to. 

„Listen, this might sound weird, but I have somebody waiting for me there... in Midgar. It’s not... like that, so don’t even think about it. This person is really kind and thoughtful, and I, well... I’ve been meaning to tell her about you for the longest time, but I just never got the chance to. So do you think you would want to come with me and meet her?” Zack paused, only then noticing how hard his heart was thudding in his chest, his entire body vibrating furiously under the strain. „I promise I won’t let her bite,” he chuckled as he turned to Cloud and pressed a kiss onto his temple. 

As they were walking down the empty road that late evening, Zack allowed his mind to wander and dared to imagine how Aerith would react once she saw him and, more importantly, what she would say when she met Cloud. He could already see her smile, her excitement radiating from around her. How happy she would be upon seeing them, how she would offer them flowers, the yellow ones that she cherished so much, and how quickly she would want to treat them to tea or invite them over to her house for some of her mother’s cooking. 

„She will adore you,” Zack murmured and took in a deep breath, feeling some rebel tears making their way to the corners of his eyes. „No doubt about it.”

* * * * *

The way was slow, but Zack was patient. And most of all, he was careful. He was aware Cloud couldn’t go any faster, and it wasn’t like he would rush him even if he could. He would never do anything to trouble him. Or to hinder his recovery.

They walk in silence, Zack always lenient when moving, constantly attentive at the slightest sound or breeze that brushed against their weary bodies. He’d employ any excuse to turn to Cloud whenever he wasn’t minding the way ahead, searching for any clue that might indicate a change in his state. He would then engage his focus when listening to his breaths, often counting them, just as he did with the beats of his hearts, desperately wanting to ensure that even if there was no change, at least Cloud was still there—alive and willing to stay alive. 

Due to the precarious state of their situation, Zack wouldn’t know what to do if anything changed for the worse. And because of that, he tried to dismiss such thoughts. He knew Cloud to be a fighter, and regardless of how uncertain things looked, Zack was confident that just like in the past, Cloud wouldn’t give up.

It wasn’t until they reached the shadow of a thick forest that Zack considered they should try to use it for cover, as sticking to the main road would expose them to more military troops. Zack couldn’t risk that happening again, considering how violent their last incursion with Shinra went.

„I think we can rest here for the time being,” he uttered in a low voice and laid Cloud down, making sure that no gesture was too abrupt or forceful in any way. 

Zack massaged his should briefly and then went to sit down next to Cloud, nudging him with his arm playfully until he got settled beside him. Once he found a comfortable spot he could sprawl across, he chuckled and glimpsed at Cloud’s face, half expecting there to be a smile as well. Or at least a desire to hide his eyes from him. A blush. Something... He would’ve welcomed a pout or an even a scowl. 

At that point, Zack would’ve accepted anything from him. 

Yet, despite his insistence, he found no reaction on Cloud’s face, but the persist deep shadows under his eyes that had been defining them ever since he rescued him from the pod.

„So, I heard this joke once...” Zack found himself saying, often stealing quick glances at Cloud’s face, secretly still praying for a change. 

He didn’t know precisely why he started like that. The only thing Zack knew was that he wanted to talk to Cloud, and in the same measure, he wanted Cloud to talk to him. It felt like ages since they last had a conversation, and no matter how much he tried to think back at it, he couldn’t even place what the last thing they spoke about was. Zack groaned, frustrated because of his unreliable memory.

„Hold on, don’t rush me, it’s been a while,” Zack added and darted his eyes away, suddenly feeling nervous because of the tension the stillness between them stirred. „Besides, it’s not gonna be funny if I mess it up.”

Speaking as if his heart wasn’t breaking was devastating, but Zack held himself steady. He wasn’t going to let his insecurities overtake him and, most importantly, not in front of Cloud. His desire to reassure Cloud had always been something that guided him best during his moments of hesitation.

„What’s the downside to eating a clock?” Zack offered, and his eyes turned soft as he brought them back to Cloud. 

He turned his body towards him, and instead of debating about how he felt about the silence between them, Zack chose to treasure it. Despite everything, the uncertainty, the chaos, the dangers that seemed to sprout from around every corner, they were finally reunited. Saying that he was enjoying their time together might’ve sounded out of place, but for Zack, every moment he spent by Cloud’s side was as precious as an intake of air. 

Sometimes, even more so.

„It’s time-consuming,” he offered the answer, and a chuckle escaped him as he took to appreciating his own joke. „Wow, nothing. Such a tough audience,” he then scoffed, a smile still adorning his lips. 

Zack rested his head on Cloud’s shoulder for a moment and then closed his eyes, focusing his entire being on the comforting warmth his body was eliciting.

„It’s ok, I’ll explain it to you later,” he murmured through his drowsiness. „You will laugh too, mark my words.”

The next moment would have Zack relaxing, making peace with the fact that he wouldn’t mind a small respite either. The night was pleasant, not as cold as the nights usually were there, with the moon high above him, tenderly illuminating the little corner of the world where they had found solitude. With the blond’s soothing presence coaxing a distinctive sense of ease from him, Zack almost succumbed to his exhaustion when a chill made him pry his eyes open. 

Suddenly, Zack stood up from beside Cloud and took a moment to gaze around them, rubbing his face with his palms to drive away any desire to fall asleep. Zack didn’t want to sleep, he couldn’t risk it. Not only was he fearful of the thought of being ambushed, but also, he had no idea where they were or rather, if they were even safe. Wanting to get a clarification on all those items, Zack decided to take a stroll and search for a vantage point that would reveal more of the area to him. Check their surroundings. Make sense of where they were and, more importantly, which way they should be heading. 

„I’ll go look around real quick,” Zack offered and turned to Cloud. „Don’t go anywhere, now, you hear?” he instructed and threw him a smile before proceeding with his self-imposed scouting assignment.

Leaving Cloud behind like that wasn’t easy. Maybe that was why Zack jolted away so quickly. He was confident that if he allowed himself to dither for even a second longer, he would’ve ended up not leaving his side at all for the entire night. 

As he got out from the thick shadow of the trees, Zack spotted the glow of a lighthouse piercing through the dark of the night. Unknowingly, their road had taken them near the coast, and now Zack was greeted with the image of the ocean that stretched endlessly towards the dark horizon ahead.

Stopping right beside the boundary between sand and water, Zack allowed himself a moment, gazing downward as the currents kept bringing the waves ever forward until they brushed against the tip of his boots.

„I know a dead-end when I see one,” he shook his head, the breeze quick to carry his words away. „There’s little I can do when we are so far away from everything we know,” he said and extended his hand towards the infinite expanse of water before him. „Plus, Cloud is still...” Zack hummed and closed in eyes, tenaciously scouring his mind for something of use, anything at all. 

While his heart would have him rush back to Cloud, Zack couldn’t bring himself to do that just yet. He didn’t want Cloud to see him so worried. There was no denying that Zack was confident he would eventually find a solution to his dilemma, that moment found him in a rough place. He just needs a hint, something to cling onto, however small, and he trusted he could make it work. 

Just like it happened while he was trapped in his dream, Zack opened his eyes as the memories flooded his mind. His escape route showed itself to him when he least expected. Although, this time around, he was unsure where it could come from. Or in which shape.

Zack lifted his head, his senses as sharp as ever indicating towards something looming in the area nearby.

„Fancy meeting you here, Cissnei,” he offered without looking, the girl’s presence, even if unexpected still unnervingly familiar ever since they got to spend a lot of time together during the forced discharge from his military service.

For a moment there, Zack actually expected Tifa to show up. He had gotten so used to her creeping up on him in Nibelheim, that he wouldn’t have been surprised if she were to make an appearance there too. However, Zack had a feeling that sort of scenario couldn’t occur ever again. 

The last time he remembered seeing her, she had not only proclaimed her hatred towards Shinra and everything it stood for, but her well-being was questionable at best. Zack dreaded to think that the fires eventually claimed her too. Sadly, it wasn’t like they could go back to Nibelheim to check up on her either. He wondered how Cloud would react to hearing something like that. It was hard to think that Cloud might come to resent him for not looking after Tifa as much as he should've.

„We received some distressing news,” Cissnei’s meek, but imposing voice snapped him out of his mind as she made her way towards him. „Something about samples on the run from the Nibelheim laboratory. You wouldn’t happen to know anything about that, would you, Zack?” The girl asked cautiously, each word heavy and wrapped in an eerie tension.

„Nobody told me anything, Cissnei. Nobody’s been telling me anything for a very long time,” he said, peering at her from over his shoulder.

Cissnei stood upright once she was met with the distinctive glow of his eyes. „That bad, huh?” 

She threw him a long, stern gaze, thoroughly searching his appearance, curious, cautious, and, most of all, concerned about something only she seemed to know.

„What did they do to you in that place?” Cissnei murmured through her stupor after concluding her devious investigation.

„Nothing I couldn’t handle,” Zack said briskly.

His intention had never been to worry Cissnei. Or anybody else for that matter. Zack even almost smiled at her, but then he remembered that beyond friendships, there were also titles, duties, and responsibilities to uphold. As it stood, Cissnei was still working for the Turks. For Shinra. 

„So Cissnei, would it be fair to assume you’re here to take us back?”

Her reaction was contained, but her brows furrowed towards Zack’s forward approach. While Cissnei chose to say nothing directly, she didn’t have to. It was more than evident to Zack where her allegiances stood.

„I know this might be wishful thinking on my part, but, just this time, Cissnei... please, walk away,” he urged, desperation nearing his heart. „I have no doubt we can outrun the army, but to think that we’ll have to deal with the Turks too... well, that’s a whole different matter.”

„Zack,” she called out and reached for her waist, the place where she kept her weapon, „you know very well that...”

The light in Zack’s eyes then changed, and Cissnei stopped talking. Using that gathered momentum, Zack reached back and gripped the Buster Sword. 

„Step back,” he said through his teeth. „I let my guard down once... but that won’t happen again.”

Cissnei gasped. If she hadn’t noticed it before, she definitely did just then. There was something different about Zack. Something about the way he presented himself as well as the way he spoke that caused her to hesitate. 

Sensing that in her, Zack took that moment to run away, his only thought being to put as much distance between him and the Turk as possible. 

Running through the forest, Zack saught to careful as to not give Cissnei a chance to catch up to him or track him down. But there was little he could do to control the frustration stirring his heart. As though things weren’t convoluted enough, now even his old allies were out to get them. It was unbearable to think that he would have to turn the edge of his sword towards their throats, but he wouldn’t do that unless absolutely forced. Unless there indeed was no other choice.

„Cloud, the Turks were called in too,” he blurted out as soon as he spotted the blond.

Zack stopped and rubbed the back of his head. Again, he had forgotten Cloud wasn’t going to reply to him. Strangely, not because he didn’t want to but because he physically couldn’t. Suddenly, Zack felt overwhelmed due to his clumsiness, but he used the rest of the way between them to put an order to his thoughts before speaking again.

„I had no idea we’re such high priority targets now,” he offered on a calmer tone, getting down on one knee in front of Cloud. „It would seem that they finally recognized our worth, huh?” Zack chuckled and reached down for his hand. „It might be a bit too dangerous to head out now, though. I haven’t figured out their patrol routes yet,” he carefully took Cloud’s hand in his own. „We’ll go as soon as I find an opening.”

Zack couldn’t help but smile when he felt Cloud’s hand nestled within his own. In many ways, he had no idea why did that, but maybe deep down, Zack was yearning for a reply from Cloud so badly he was willing to look anywhere and everywhere for it. While it might’ve been premature to celebrate, he was thankful that he got to keep him out of harms’ way, if even for a moment longer.

„It’ll be alright,” Zack murmured into the confined space between them. „We’ll be alright. You and me, both,” he said and rested his forehead against Cloud’s.

The words had barely settled in his heart when something drew his attention. Zack whipped around on his heels, his hand already on the hilt of his sword when he spotted somebody approaching from between the nearby trees. 

„You shouldn’t have followed me, Cissnei,” he spoke, and it came out more like a growl than anything else.

„Oh,” Cissnei gasped and took a few steps forward, wanting to investigate further. „Is that... the other sample they collected at Nibelheim?”

Zack stood his ground firmly, imposing himself in front of Cloud, instinctively offering his body as a shield against her as he scrutinized Cissnei, thinking that she might be even inclined to act. He wasn’t going to risk the situation getting out of his control, or worse, her doing something to Cloud.

„Sample,” Zack clicked his tongue, the word sour in his mouth. „Why did you come here?” he managed, backing up towards Cloud. „I told you to go away.”

„He doesn’t look well, Zack. Is he all right?” she asked, not entirely minding his words, though appreciating the forced restraint she found within his voice.

„He’s strong. He’ll pull through.”

Cissnei hummed, taking time to observe the careful way Zack chose his words. As well as the change in his tone when talking about his brother in arms. There was something reminiscent of care and attention in them that most wouldn’t even detect. Yet, she wasn’t merely anybody. She was trained to pick up on such subtleties, and if nothing else, it only made her more curious.

„I see,” she offered tersely and narrowed her eyes. „The aftermath of the experiments, I take it?”

Zack had spent too much time near the Turks to know that they should never be taken lightly. That their secret weapon had always been the element of surprise. That they would strike even when it wasn’t part of the job.

„Yeah,” he offered, unwavering from his defensive stance regardless of Cinssei’s somewhat relaxed demeanor. „The Mako really got to him.”

Zack’s gaze focused on Cissnei, her stillness steadily coming to unnerve him. Despite the time they spent together, she was as unreadable as always, which led to a lot of guesswork. Although, she did seem deep in thought for whatever reason. 

Zack knew how dedicated Turks were to their jobs, and because of that, he didn’t want to let himself be swayed by the refined comfort of past friendships. If that was indeed what was between them during the time they worked side by side.

„I’ll call Tseng and tell him that...that I lost your trail.”

In narrowing his eyes, Zack saught to take the moment and make sense of her words. She offered so quickly he had no idea if he had indeed heard her correctly or if it was just his wishful thinking, quick to twist the reality around him.

„Wha-what?” Zack muttered through his stupor.

„You better use this time I’m giving you wisely,” she crossed her arms on her chest. „To get away and all that,” she felt the need to specify, Zack’s bewilderment still present in his eyes.

„Cissnei... Is this some sort of trick?”

„A trick?” she raised an eyebrow. „More like a present. And fortunately for you, I’m feeling extremely generous today,” she took out some keys from her pocket and pushed the bundle in his direction.

„You can’t be serious,” Zack uttered as he accepted the keys, their weight in the center of his palm leaving him with way too many questions.

„What better time than when you most need it?” she shrugged. „Besides, that’s what friends are for. So, if you think you can trust me, then use it,” she explained and then turned around. „It’s packed with supplies and pretty much everything you might need to make your escape.”

„Cissnei...” Zack breathed and watched the girl wave at him before disappearing into the thick veil of night. „Thank you.”

Zack squeezed his hand, the shape of the keys in his palm incredibly comforting. He had no idea he would ever be so happy to see a Turk. Zack could’ve never guessed that any of them would be willing to help him out. Still, he couldn’t help but wonder what the exact reason behind Cissnei’s goodwill was. 

It wasn’t like Cissnei was a crude person, to begin with, unlike most members of her team, but then again, she was a Turk. As a whole, the Investigation Sector was part of the military, and whenever it came to their jobs, the Turks would stop at nothing to see their mission through. Perhaps her gesture towards Zack had have been nothing more than her suppressed rebellion, finally coming to the surface. Or some sort of order... given to her by Tseng?

Shaking his head in disbelief, Zack pushed himself away from that train of thought. He almost made himself laugh, thinking that somebody as law-abiding as Tseng would ever stray from his duty. Not just that but also order his men to do the same. No, the answer must’ve lied somewhere else. And while Zack might never know the truth behind the extends of Cissnei’s kindness, he was incredibly grateful that she chose to help them instead of hindering their escape.

„Hey, Cloud, remember when I said that we should go on a trip somewhere?” Zack turned and smiled at the blond. „Well, I suppose this is as good of a time as any for one. And the best part... I think I know just the place.”

* * * * *

The fog was thick that cold evening. It was hard to make out their exact location or how far from the nearest settlement they were. They had been traveling for so long, at some point, Zack lost track of their whereabouts.

The harder it became to focus, the more aware Zack became of the fact that he hadn’t been allowing himself to entirely fall asleep. For the past few nights, whenever he would close his eyes, he would only rest for a few minutes, then push himself past his drowsiness. Focus his will through some quick training routines, patrol the area to get some feeling back in his legs, then get back on the road again. The lack of sleep was started to affect him, but just like all the other inconveniences in his life, Zack was determined to conquer it as well. And all for his sake.

Encouraged by the adoration he held in his heart, Zack then gazed upon Cloud. He seemed fine, safely bundled up with the blanket that he had fastened around him after he placed in him the motorcycle's sidecar. 

„Just like that time, huh? When we went out to see the stars up the mountain,” he smiled at the memory. „You know, I was afraid you’d get sick and that we’d have to turn back before even making it halfway there. I was willing to take the risk, though, if it meant spending a bit of time together with you. And you... somehow, you pulled through.”

Not thinking back at times, they spent together proved impossible. From the first moment that Zack saw Cloud and then to the dissonant present they were living, each part of his memory that had Cloud in it was just so much brighter than the rest. Unknowingly, that had turned into his most significant source of strength.

„Stubbornness, no doubt,” Zack joked and moved his eyes on the road as a sudden urge to reach to him and ruffle his hair began nearing his intentions. „I told you you’re something else...”

Everything they’ve been through, both the rough times and the good times... Zack looked back at it fondly. Zack had been stuck in that dream for so long that he had begun to wonder if not only he would ever escape but also what he would do after he did. If his memories would return to him. If he would be able to recognize everybody again. 

If his mind would still be his. 

In those moments, Zack thought of himself as fortunate, because although it took some time, steadily everything was coming back to him, together with all the little details, he turned to cherish. And most importantly, that time around, it all felt right. It felt exactly as he remembered the things around him to be like.

„I’ve been thinking about something,” Zack allowed and then nearly choked on a laugh. „I know, I know, you probably want to say that thinking is bad for me, and that I shouldn’t do it unsupervised but hear me out first,” he threw Cloud a glance as though to confirm that he had his attention. „I’ve been thinking about what I would do differently if... I’d be given a chance to fix all this... So that we wouldn’t be in this mess. And ah,” he bit his lip, „I hope you won’t come to hate me for saying this, but I don’t think I’d change anything. I mean sure, I would’ve definitely kept you closer, fought more for you... That goes without saying, though.”

Zack paused, taking a moment to breathe. He might’ve been speaking a bit too frankly or selfishly about everything that was roaming through his mind, but he didn’t have the energy to care about his filter anymore. 

„Oh, and I would’ve listened more to you,” Zack offered encouragingly. „For such a quiet guy, Cloud, you do know what you’re talking about. I like that about you,” he offered and chuckled through the reddening of his cheeks. „A lot... just like everything else.”

Zack couldn’t guess what Cloud’s reaction would be upon hearing such nebulous confessions. Cloud might’ve groaned or rolled his eyes at his honesty, or he would’ve scolded him for running his mouth so carefreely. While it was hard to settle on an accurate reaction, Zack liked to think that Cloud would’ve appreciated his words. They came from a good place, if nothing else.

Though, there was no mistaking the fact that if only he were more careful, neither of them would be in that situation. Zack knew there was a point in the past where if he would’ve weighed his options better, then things might’ve been different. They wouldn’t be on the run. Cloud wouldn’t be in that state. Maybe if Cloud would’ve chosen to stay with his family instead of him then... 

„Ah,” Zack sighed loudly, his thoughts quick to betray him and lead him astray towards something he wasn’t willing to explore in-depth. „There’s no point to think about any of that, I know. We’re here now, and we’ll go on from here... I think that’s something you would’ve said,” he offered that last part in a low voice.

They were in the middle of crossing a bridge when the sky above him suddenly darkened. Zack felt his muscle tensing up when he felt an unfamiliar presence steadily getting closer. The air around him turned, becoming colder and heavier, and Zack stopped the bike. The next thing he registered was a familiar scent. 

„So it was you...”

Or one which used to be familiar. 

„Genesis,” Zack flinched once he distinguished the shape of the one-winged person that emerged from the mist before him. „What’re you doing here?” he blurted out, trying to smother his nervousness, but it came out anyway.

„You were a test subject in Hojo’s experiment,” Genesis rose a brow and kept scrutinizing Zack from a distance, intrigue glowing in his eyes. „Which means that, if my information is correct, Jenova’s cells now run through you too.”

„What... seriously?” Zack swallowed, a dreadful chill shaking his entire body. „Is that what all that was about?”

„Your cells will be my gift from the goddess,” he spoke reverently, each word coated with care as though he were reciting from one of his books. „Through them, the degradation will finally cease.”

„You are spewing nonsense again, Genesis,” Zack warned and lifted the Buster Sword before him to deter Genesis’ advance.

„Hasn’t your dream always been of becoming just like us, puppy?” he pressed and leveled Zack with a glare. „It would seem that congratulations are in order. How many people can claim that they had their most ardent wish granted?” he opened his arms widely as though welcoming him. „Here, you stand before me, a monster yourself.”

„You have no idea what you’re talking about!” Zack grunted. „I’m still me! And no matter what happens, that’ll never change.”

„Perhaps, there is some truth to that after all,” Genesis threw a sly smile and stood upright before him. „A fool till the very end.”

Despite his deteriorating body, it took Genesis less than a split second to find his way, not just by Zack’s side, but he overtook him as well. Gasping, Zack turned after him only to notice that Genesis had managed to steal a lock of his ebony hair, holding it carefully between his fingers as though measuring its weight in gold. 

„Thus, the monster has been harvested. Your usefulness to me has been reached,” Genesis’ scowl was insufferable yet persistent on his face. „May your death be swift. Whoever that maybe that grants it.”

„Genesis, wait!” Zack cried out and lunged forward, thinking he might be able to get more information out of the elusive figure if only he insisted.

Genesis was high up in the air by the time Zack reached his previous position. The only thing he could do then was to follow him with his eyes, frustrated that even after all that time, their reunions were still nothing but rare and stirred even more uncertainties than they ever clarified.

„So... some things never do change, huh.” 

Zack felt the cold breeze sharp as it swirled around his body. He fastened the Buster Sword on his back and then retraced his steps back to the bike. It felt like so much time had passed since he had last seen Genesis. Despite the acute twinge in his chest, Zack had no idea how he felt about him anymore. Just like in Sephiroth’s case, that part of his heart, that dealt exclusively with the SOLDIERs and Shinra had become all muddled and thick with hurt and regret. 

„This might come as a surprise, Cloud, but there are moments when even I don’t know what to do,” the confession rolled forcefully off his lips as Zack leaned towards Cloud as though conveying something only meant for his ears. „However, that’s never the case when it comes to you, so I suppose that’s reassuring, right?” he huffed and jumped back on the bike.

They rode in silence until the bridge and the fog were long behind them. Due to the hectic nature in which everything developed, Zack never got a chance to think back to either Genesis or Sephiroth in a long while. He had no clear idea what became them and in a way, he would’ve been fine with not seeing either of them again. Based on everything that happened, each time they met, things always turned awry. They had done so much damage to each other, hurt each other, damaged everything they had once fought to build, Zack couldn’t see a future in which things would be any different. Deep down within Zack, there lived a certainty that at that precise moment in their lives, their destinies were so closely tied together, not even his most ardent wish could set their paths apart.

Zack sighed, the thoughts weighing heavily on him. Then just as a reflex, he turned to Cloud, and he could swear his heart lifted. He pressed a hand to his chest to check on it and breathed out a laugh, surprised at how he still had moments of clumsiness when it came to present himself before the blond.

„You know... you don’t have to hold your tongue anymore,” Zack allowed, his eyes refocusing on the road ahead. „Back when you said you were going to never speak again so that you wouldn’t hurt my feelings... It’s ok if you speak now, though. I promise I won’t mind... like not in the least,” he swallowed around his heartache. „Please, Cloud... could you say something? I really miss hearing your voice."

He paused, vainly hoping the anguish would disappear, but it flickered alive once he glimpsed back at Cloud. 

„I really miss... you.”

* * * * *

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> While this chapter had a lot more story attached to it initially, I decided to cut it out and leave it for the next installment. I felt like it was important to take my time to explore certain aspects of their lives and minds rather than rush through everything.
> 
> I am getting more and more nervous the closer we are getting to the final chapter, but I think I've decided on how the story will end as well as the existence of an _epilogue_. Hope you will stay tuned to find out more~
> 
> To everyone who has enjoyed my writing style, I'll humbly invite you to check out my [Tumblr](https://www.tumblr.com/blog/nightyelfy). Yesterday (27 August) was a big day for me and I would like to share this great achievement with you all~
> 
> Thank you for your continued support ᕙ(^▿^-ᕙ)


	14. Chapter 14

„Ah, this is the worst... I knew I should’ve learned how to make soup,” Zack groaned, hiding his displeasure under a different pretext, as cautious as ever after giving up on checking on their dwindling supplies. 

Zack was too tired to do inventory properly that night. There was no more hiding that or pretending otherwise. Their fugitive status had made them sought-after targets and thus prevented them from stopping into any city or town that had any military stationed there or was affiliated with Shinra in any way. 

Thanks to Cissnei’s generous and attentive way in which she supplied their get-away bike, they had done well so far, both in putting distance between them and Nibelheim and staying alive. However, now that the supplies were running low, Zack had no idea at what point they’d be able to resupply. 

It felt downright bizarre to be so vulnerable, always cautious and alert at the slightest foreign sound or dubious towards any glance thrown their way, but just like with anything, it was something that Zack had to get used to. Ultimately, he liked to believe that he had gotten better at distinguishing between the types of gazes aimed at them. However, as the exhaustion kept nearing, his senses were always challenged, his endurance put to the test, with certainty becoming a continually drifting concept. 

That night was proof of the multitude of hardships Zack had both encountered and evaded because it was the first time he found that he was too drained to scout out their surrounding area. Resentful towards his condition, he settled to keeping their perimeter safe and hoping that nobody would trouble them at least for one night. At the very least, for a few hours...

As it stood, they were forced to count on the lands’ natural rocky formations to provide them with some refuge. Considering also the cover of night, maybe luck was smiling their way once more, or so Zack comforted his weary mind, alongside vows made to himself that he would take some time to sleep as well. He was all too aware he needed to rest, yet he found it nearly impossible to close his eyes for more than a few minutes at a time. 

At first, it was something he imposed on himself to comply with his bodyguard role. In time, however, sleeping became an inconceivable task in it of itself. Usually, it was restless and disorientating, and whenever it wasn’t, nightmares plagued his mind. It was hard to narrow it down to a heavy conscience or the looming danger, but most likely, it was a combination of both rather than just one single thing.

Apart from dinner, Zack decided not to start a campfire either that night. He used their only blanket and wrapped it around Cloud while he propped the Buster Sword somewhere at their side, preventing the wind from showering them with the sand and earth it carried with it as it made its way towards the nearby canyon. Allowing himself a moment, Zack took pride in the ingenious way he had managed to improvise a shelter for them before retracing his steps and finally, taking a seat on the dry gravelly soil beside Cloud.

Thinking back at their most recent encounters with Shinra, Zack found that each of them impacted him in a very particular way. Yet, there had been one stifling confrontation that he couldn’t get out of his mind. It took place just before they retreated to the mouth of the canyon, and that contributed heavily to the reason he was so beat and truthfully, slightly demoralized too. 

Zack was brought face to face with a large number of Shinra infantrymen. Too many for a single person to ever imagine of opposing on their own. Even for a highly-skilled and trained SOLDIER such as himself, it could’ve all gone wrong at any point. Zack couldn’t pinpoint the exact moment the large squadron had caught up to them, but shortly, he recognized that evading them was no longer an option. He had to stand his ground and fight, no matter how much he wished he didn’t have to be put in such a situation. 

Raising his sword against his former brothers in arms, his trainees, his friends had never been easy, and yet, time and time again, Zack was forced into that position. Perhaps to test him, to see how far he would be willing to go for the things he believed in. As though to encourage the manifestation of the monster that many claimed lied within him as it did in all the other former SOLDIERs. 

As hard as it was to keep a leveled head when faced with such ravaging circumstances, Zack turned out to be just as his former peers described him to be. Cool, calm, and collected both on the battlefield and outside of it. Driven by his convictions, Zack allowed them to carry him through the battle. Each move calculated, his reaction fast and precise, any trace of dither long abandoned to the nebulous depths of his mind. 

It was strange, perplexing, feral even, yet Zack’s desire to protect Cloud was mightier than anything he had felt before. The thought of Cloud being taken away and made to endure all sorts of vile experiments, be subjected to gruesome treatments at the hand of some deviant scientists turned his stomach and fueled his zeal each time he took note of the menace in their aggressors’ eyes. 

While Zack wouldn’t usually act like that, he didn’t know what else to do as his opponent had never been open to discussions or treaties. Ever since their escape from Nibelheim, the whole world felt like it was against them and that the slightest mistake could spell disaster for both him and Cloud. As such, Zack couldn’t afford any missteps. 

He wouldn’t misstep.

Then, just as they were surrounded from all sides by the infantrymen, out of the blue, an offer was made. The squadron’s commander’s words were slowly making their way back to Zack after he allowed himself some time to think back at the events that unfolded that grueling day. Although it surprised him then just as much as it did when he recalled it that night, the idea of a deal seemed too good to be true. And in many ways, it was because it would have him put down his sword and surrender to Shinra. 

Thinking back at it all, and specifically, at how persistently he was reassured that he would be taken in alive, Zack felt justified in scoffing at the terms he was presented with. As if being back at Shinra so that he could spend the rest of his life in the depths of a holding cell that was reserved for traitors and criminals was something he wanted. As if living with a chain around his neck was of any value. 

Yet, the thing that pained him the most had to have been the fact that no offers were made towards Cloud. Due to his condition, they probably saw him as an object they could take and do whatever they pleased with, be it locking him back in the laboratories or keeping him from ever seeing the light of day. The very thought of such a scenario would have his blood boiling, Zack needing no more than an instant to express his refusal. Looking down at his hands, he recalled holding so tightly onto the Buster Sword’s handle as he aimed it at the opposition that the callouses in his palms felt like they might start bleeding at any moment.

With Zack’s refusal towards their proposition came their attack, the bullets fast to swirl by his ears like devastating sleet brought forth violently from all around them. The infantrymen were merciless in their assault, as though they didn’t care who got hit as long as they fulfilled their mission. 

Staggered by their approach, Zack almost didn’t recognize them. He felt that Shinra had changed a lot during the time he was gone. He found it hard to believe that things could evolve so rapidly and somehow, for the worst. 

Zack had never seen their bloodthirst manifested so viciously before. He hadn’t detected such cruelty and disregard for human life in anybody he ever trained. Could that have been because he was so deeply involved in the whole affair? Had there been a rag over his eyes when he was among the other soldiers? Had he also been like that the entire time? Or was it merely that... things looked different when he was on the other side of the gun’s barrel?

Looking up at the night sky, Zack’s chest tightened, the images of their most recent escape still flashing in his mind. It was harrowing and, by all rights, a bit too close for comfort with Zack having to employ every bit of his combat training and agility to make sure that not only they came out of the incursion with as few scrapes as possible, but with them still in charge of their lives.

Zack knew they had been lucky. He wasn’t going to deny that, yet he couldn’t help but wonder for how long they could keep it up. Maybe that was why he never liked to rely on luck. Everything he ever had he gained himself, through his work and diligence, and there was a particular comfort in that fact. Or at least there used to be until he saw how fast things could change and turn on their head, and him having little say in any of it.

The heavens were clear that night. Squinting, Zack could distinguish some stars, but they were too few and far between. Nothing like the sky that he would always see in his dreams. Or back when he had Cloud by his side.

„Since dinner is out of the question... Cloud, how about we play a game? Let’s call it... confession time,” Zack’s lips trembled as he spoke and ran his fingers through his hair, thinking it would keep him from sounding too nervous. „And don’t worry, I’ll start,” he half chuckled, throwing a glance at the blond.

Cloud was resting beside him, his eyes half-closed, still lost in the distressing haze that had plagued him for far too long already. Zack allowed himself another moment to look at him as the breeze ever so faintly danced through his hair, making his golden locks sway, guided by its playful rhythm.

„This whole time, I knew... about your condition,” Zack followed, his brows furrowing slightly as he spoke. „Back when they initiated me into SOLDIER, they spoke about the issues that a Mako infused person could encounter,” he bit his lips, the memory of those times bittersweet and somehow incredibly distant. 

Gulping down on his regret, Zack brought his hands forward and rubbed them together, the callouses hard and painful in his palm, each stroke resonating with him differently, slowly but steadily awakening various emotions and memories. The recollection process might’ve been strenuous, but Zack felt it was just as necessary to have his memories return to him. Somehow, he always considered he could never be whole without all of them.

„You see, Mako’s part of every living thing, but for SOLDIERs, the scientists made an exception and doubled the dosage. Maybe tripled, quadrupled even... we still have medical check-ups now and again to make sure everything is fine. However, things didn’t always go as smoothly,” Zack narrowed his eyes, keeping his head down as he talked. „I remember they told us about how during the first trials, most people didn’t make it because of Mako overdose, poisoning, some cases of addiction also... as if it were some drug,” his mouth dried as his heartbeat sped up. „What I mean to say by all this is that... I think that’s what’s plaguing you too, Cloud. That thing that we were submerged in was Mako, after all.”

Lifting his eyes, it was then that Zack finally made eye contact with Cloud. There was no detectable reaction from the blond, but Zack wanted to believe that his words reached him, in one way or another. Though he could never know for sure, that had been one of the reasons he kept talking to him. He trusted Cloud was still in there somewhere, and maybe he could use his voice as guidance to escape the confinements of the tall walls the Mako had built around his mind.

„It didn’t do that much harm to me, because, well, I already had it was flowing through my veins... but for you, it was different,” Zack finally offered and kept his gaze on Cloud, feeling his heart sinking under the weight of the confession. „I’m sorry, I didn’t mean to keep this from you for so long,” he tried to feign a smile, but for some reason, he couldn’t even do that. „I had hoped you’d wake up on your own by now.”

A persistent ruffle of wind swept the land across them, in a violent manifestation of nature’s tenacity. Zack lifted his head and glanced around rapidly, his mind already presenting him with a few too many scenarios to make sense of, Shinra scouts, Turk helicopters... only to allow himself a breath once he felt the wind’s intensity eventually settling. So much time had passed since Zack was last in that area that he had forgotten how capricious the elements could be. 

„I don’t know what to do to cure it either,” he resumed lowly, pressing a few fingers against his forehead. „They never talked about that part. Well, mostly because those that suffered from Mako poisoning d—” Zack brought both his hands up and slapped them over his mouth, a desperate attempt at stopping the flow of words from coming out. „Drifted towards other professions,” he resumed, jumping up and facing away from Cloud, incredibly ashamed by his reckless way of speaking. „But that was them because you... You were born to be a SOLDIER, and that’s why I’m not worried at all about your future,” he swallowed heavily and peered over his shoulder to look at Cloud. 

Zack’s eyes were big as they fixated upon him. He brought a hand to his chest, feeling his heart thumping crazily within, the amalgam of twisted emotions crashing over him like a wave, leaving behind a lot of debris once it retreated. Among that debris laid sadness, worry, and regret. Not to mention a lot of guilt too.

Eventually, Zack found the strength to retake his spot on the ground beside Cloud. With slow movements, Zack brushed Cloud’s hair away from his eyes and fastened the rebel locks behind his ears. 

„I hope my confession didn’t bring you down too much,” he said softly and placed a kiss on his forehead before retreating so that he could readjust the blanket around Cloud’s weary body. „I really look forward to hearing yours, though. Until then, let’s take it one day at a time, just like how we’ve been doing up until now, all right?”

Leaning on the stone wall behind him, Zack put his hands under his head. He knew their situation wasn’t the best. Yet, he wasn’t going to permit himself to be discouraged either. Despite every misfortune that plagued them and their journey through the unknown, somehow, they were still alive, and best of all, they were together. As such, it didn’t even feel strange when at one point during the long and windy night, Zack became aware of another truth that turned out to define him. Since Cloud was counting on him to see them to safety, he then understood that no matter what, he wasn’t going to let him down. 

In a way, that was all Zack needed to know to keep going.

* * * * *

Since first light, the following day would have them riding through the canyon. Zack knew the road would be long and relatively uneventful, and so it was only a matter of time before he suggested that they play „I spy.” However, their game ended after a few rounds as everything Zack made Cloud guess were rocks, the only difference lied in their shape and color. 

Not much of a challenge, Zack concluded around his pout as he set his eyes on the road ahead, knowing that once they reached the clearing, they would finally come across an entirely different sight than what they had been privileged to through most of that day’s journey. 

„Hey, Cloud, you won’t believe this, but we made it,” Zack cheered and stopped the bike, more excited than he had been in quite a while, his cheeks straining from the broad smile he adorned. „To my hometown... just like you wanted. Welcome to Gongaga!”

Zack hopped off the bike, a surge of joy so abrupt and all-encompassing that he couldn’t keep his body from trembling. He took a few steps and gazed around him, taking in the scenery as though it was a sanctuary he didn’t expect they’d reach. A moment so perfect, he was thrilled it was Cloud he was sharing it with. 

Zack stood tall before the image of the settlement in the far distance. He knew all too well that while he had been a somewhat aloof son, not having visited or wrote as much as he should’ve to his parents, there was no hiding the fact that he missed his childhood home. Just by looking at the town, the peril looming on their tails had slipped from his mind’s eye, and for a long moment, it felt that everything was right in the world once more. It was so reassuring to have made it to a safe place, Zack trusted he wouldn’t have to explain his enthusiasm because Cloud would surely understand him. 

With the radiant smile still on his lips, Zack turned to Cloud, looking to approach him. As though struck by a troubling realization, it was then he felt a severing from his sense for an excruciatingly long and disorientating couple of moments. 

His mind got submerged by the thoughts of the great fire that laid waste to the town of Nibelheim. That claimed Cloud’s childhood house and robbed him of his mother. While it was challenging to say if those memories were real or not, since Nibelheim was very much still intact when they left it, there was no shaking the distress they awakened inside of him whenever he thought back at them. Something was indeed out of place, and Zack feared that he wouldn’t be able to find a clear answer to his queries surrounding the events that unfolded at Nibelheim after they fixed the malfunctioning reactor until Cloud woke up. 

„My bad,” Zack kneeled before him and reached forward to grab his hand. „I got a bit overexcited back there. The comforts of home have always been my weakness,” he huffed, squeezing onto Cloud’s hand. „Although, coming here might’ve not been such a good idea after all. It’s too quiet, I know. I’d be a right fool if I couldn’t smell a potential ambush even from afar.” 

Zack stood upright and investigated the horizon once more. While there was nothing that could pose a potential danger visible at first glance, traps were rarely laid in full view. Yet, having come all that way only to leave didn’t feel right either. Zack then clenched his fist, his sense of responsability towards his family so alive in his heart he feared he might not be able to ignore. 

„Cloud, I’m going to have to ask you to wait here,” Zack followed, half turning to look at him. „Don’t laugh, but I’m slightly worried about my parents. It’s been a while, you know?” 

Zack threw Cloud a smile and then left him in the sidecar by the shadow of the edge of the canyon. He understood the risk, but he kept telling himself that if the situation were indeed dire, he’d leave Gongaga before anybody noticed him. The last thing Zack wanted was to bring the danger on his parents’ doorstep. He was sure that his mother would nag him until the end of his days, and then even a bit after that, if he ever did anything as careless as that.

Amused by the thought that he would see his mother soon, Zack couldn’t help but chuckle as he made his way to town down the cliff edge, the giant gates that marked the town’s limits growing tall before him with every step he took towards them. 

Although some things had changed, those mostly revolved around Zack and his life. Others remained precisely the same as he remembered them to be, which only went to spur his nostalgia. The image of the vibrant town before him, the sensation of the pleasant breeze as it came to cool the arid scorch of the land, as well as the fresh and deep smell of moisture and vegetation. It was as though Gongaga remained frozen in time, unaffected by the passing of the seasons and the events that unfolded outside its grasp. 

That was comforting in it of itself, Zack considered, his step alive with nervous excitement as he conquered the distance between him and his hometown. In an ideal world, he would find his parents healthy and in good spirits, and they would embrace him as soon as they saw him crossing the threshold of their house. He would run back to the bike, fetch Cloud, and rush him to the village doctor, who would heal him in no time at all. Afterward, he would introduce the blond to his parents, sit down at the bountiful dinner table, and have a fulfilling meal together.

„Behind you.” 

Zack jumped as he was pulled forcefully from the depths of his mind, the comforts of his imagination yet again proving to overwhelm his senses. With caution suddenly aflame in heart, he reached for the Buster Sword and turned, unable to register the familiarity in the voice that startled him. Zack needed a moment to place her face, but there was no mistaking the prideful grin the girl liked to wear whenever she held an advantage over her adversaries. Too bad that in that situation, Zack was one of them. 

„You need to stop being so damn predictable,” Cissnei scoffed, her arms crossed on her chest. „Of course, the Turks would have eyes on your hometown, Zack.” 

Zack groaned and not because he fell straight into her trap but because he knew that might’ve been the case. However, he had held hope near his heart until the very last moment that things would turn out differently.

„That much of a family man, huh?”

„Yeah, so?” he rolled his eyes. „What’s wrong with that?” he didn’t mean to sound so harsh, but he couldn’t dismiss her accusatory eyes any longer.

„You could’ve chosen your timing better, for starters.”

„Ah, well, I guess you’re right about that,” he tilted his head meekly and glanced at her.

Zack then recalled the feisty wind that blew the previous night, almost convinced at that point that some helicopters had indeed been scouting the premises of the neighboring canyon, which marked the way towards the town of Gongaga. In the end, not insisting on lighting a fire had turned out to be a life-saving decision. 

„It was pretty reckless, huh?” Zack chuckled towards her, rubbing the back of his neck after coming to terms with his predicament.

Cissnei exhaled a long breath. „The military has their eyes on this place too. Apparently, sightings of another target have been reported in the area.”

„Another target?” Zack perked up as Genesis’ twisted smile took shape in his mind from the fragments of the memory of their encounter on the bridge.

„Angeal.”

Zack opened his mouth to speak, but his throat dried up. He thought for a moment, then clenched it shut, finding he was too taken aback by the news to form any coherent reply. 

„The last time a report came in about him, it was to say he died by your hands,” Cissnei narrowed her eyes towards him, considering his reaction faintly suspect. „Aren’t you in the least surprised to hear that he’s back?” 

„After everything that happened to us, nothing surprises me anymore, Cissnei,” he offered, the tension in his voice evident. „Why would he come to a place like Gongaga, though?”

„Probably for the same reason we did. He must’ve trusted you’d eventually find your way here too.”

„Me?” Zack breathed as a chill crossed his spine. „But why...”

„Figure it out yourself,” she paused as though to give him time to think. „Puppy.”

Gasping lowly, Zack thought that although the chances were slim that Angeal was indeed there, he might’ve wanted to see him again. To talk to him just as Zack had wished to do for as long as he could remember. 

Separating himself from people he had gotten accustomed to always being around was excruciating, a type of pain that never fully heal. It stayed there, like a wound, slowly but inevitably turning into a scar. Curious, Zack lifted his hand and brushed his left cheek, the cross-shape reminder of some bygone tranquil days still distinctive under his fingertips.

„As nice as talking to you like this is, I need to remind you that officially we’re still enemies,” Cissnei said, and he suddenly became guarded, his thoughts quick to flit back to Cloud. „However, you are lucky you caught me during my lunch break, even if there are only 10 minutes left before I need to resume my duties.” 

„Cissnei...” Zack allowed, only then realizing that his hand had been twitching, instinctively aiming to reach for the sword on his back even before he got to process his reaction.

„It would be quite a shame to have to bring bad news to your parents,” she added, and there was a tenderness to her voice he hadn’t detected in her before.

„Can you at least tell me...” Zack hesitated, but his curiosity was quick to surface. „How are they? Is my mom...”

„Your dad is more worried about you than your mom is. He knows how much of an air-head you are,” she offered with a wave of her hand. „As for your mom, well, I think she’s just bothered that you’re wasting your youth away.”

„Is that so?” Zack huffed, slightly amused by the familiarity he found in her words.

„And that you won’t be able to find a wife.”

„WHAT?!” he found himself grunting. „So that’s where her mind’s at after all,” he exhaled and shook his head in defeat, incredibly overwhelmed and relieved by the mundane worries of his parents that somehow ended softening his heart.

„You don’t need to worry, though. I didn’t tell her anything more than she needed to know,” Cissnei settled her statement with a wink in his direction.

Zack opened his mouth wide, looking to protest or at least inquire more about what she meant to say by that, but the words were lost to him before he could voice them. He averted her eyes for a moment, in a way realizing that while he knew it was only a matter of time before his affection for the blond became evident to those around them, it still wasn’t something he wanted to discuss lengthly on his own. He had always envisioned having Cloud by his side when making such reveals. 

„Thanks, I appreciate that... I appreciate it a lot,” Zack said with a chuckle, not embarrassed but more like thrilled that he would still get to be the one to tell them the big news.

„Before you go,” Cissnei pressed, furtively enjoying Zack’s flushed expression as she crossed the distance between them, one hand searching through her pocket. „I thought you might want to have this.”

„Another present? Oh, if I didn’t know any better, Cissnei, I’d think you have a thing for me,” he couldn’t help but tease.

„Don’t flatter yourself,” she narrowed her eyes and handed him a carefully rolled-up envelope. „I suggest you open it... when you find a moment of peace.”

„So, not now, then?” Zack queried, his tone playful.

„Tick-tock, fugitive sample. Tick-tock,” she reminded and tapped her wrist, making sure Zack understood that she wasn’t going to repeat herself.

„Ok, ok, you got it. Here’s me going away,” Zack whipped around on his heels and began to walk away from the gates of Gongaga, his mind struggling to piece together all the precious information he had gathered from the most unlikely of people.

Yet again, Cissnei turned out to be a much-needed ally in a world suddenly devoid of friendly faces. Zack still had no idea why she did any of that, first aiding them with their escape and now offering valuable information that might have just saved their lives. A part of him would have him believe that there was no chance Tseng wasn’t aware she was doing all that, and yet, he couldn’t bring himself to trust that somewhere between the mountains of paperwork, far from Shinra’s eyes, there was an order given to protect them from a distance. That didn’t sound like something the Turks would do at all. However, those were not normal circumstances they were experiencing, so maybe, just _maybe_ , they were being looked after. Even if barely.

Zack was in the middle of retracing his steps to Cloud when something caught the corner of his eye. He turned to it, tempted by an unsettling glow, a bizarre apparition that started to manifest in the nearby hills. Zack’s step faltered as the mention of Angeal possibly being in the nearby area resurfaced. No matter how much his heart ached for it, he still couldn’t bring himself to imagine a reunion with his former mentor taking place. However, he wasn’t willing to dismiss probably his only shot at it, regardless of how improbable it was.

* * * * *

Zack followed the apparition up the side of the hill, his heartbeat accelerating in the same rhythm as his quickening steps. While he was aware he had little time to spare on aimless wanders, in the end, the temptation proved to be too great. Plus, he promised himself he would be fast. Check his immediate surroundings and then rush back to Cloud as leaving him alone for too long had never been part of his intentions. 

„What an utter disappointment you turned out to be.”

Struck by a profound sense of deja vu, Zack flinched violently. For a moment, the disdain in the words thrown his resounded just like they did in his dream when Angeal expressed his disappointment in him. 

His heart stuttered as Zack lifted his eyes to put a face to the voice, as though dreading to resume its steady beat until all his doubts were laid to rest. Instead of Angeal, however, in front of Zack, a white-haired man stood standing on the cliff edge, the contour of his black wing glimmering in the intense Gongagan sun.

„Hollander ran the tests,” Genesis offered, spite coursing through his voice. „Since you were a member of SOLDIER, your cellular structure was already mutated, and your cells proved completely useless for my purpose.”

Zack weighed each one of his words carefully. Not only was he shaken by the message conveyed, but encountering Genesis once more proved to stir him more than he had anticipated. For a brief moment, Zack almost came to believe he would get to see Angeal again. 

In lowering his head, Zack found that placing Genesis’ intention or the purpose of his mission was conflicting, but then again, he never could read Genesis. Or any of the other former First Class SOLDIER-heroes for that matter.

„You thought you could cure your degradation... by using me?” Zack allowed, utterly shaken as he dared to assume the worst.

„Indeed,” Genesis offered sharply. „However, just because you are useless, that doesn’t mean all hope is lost.”

Reacting on instinct, Zack’s mind turned dark, every muscle in his body twitching as though ready to jump into combat in the blink of an eye. There was something in Genesis’ tone that triggered his uneasiness, and the longer he faced him, the clearer it became that Genesis wasn’t there by chance. 

„A pure S-cell sample is the only thing that will put an end to the degradation process,” Genesis said and tilted his head forward to fixate upon Zack’s gaze. „There are... two of you, on the run, isn’t that so, Zack?”

The glare Genesis threw in his direction made Zack grit his teeth, the blood in his veins igniting along with the frustration their encounter incited.

„Genesis...” he grunted, a shallow attempt at deterring him from further continuing that line of thought.

„The other one, the infantryman you’re with... he carries the last pure S-cell in the world within his body.”

„That’s enough!” Zack stood upright before him. „I don’t want to hear it!”

„You just don’t understand. How tragic,” Genesis sighed deeply before taking to the skies, a trail of black feathers left on the ground in his stead. „Though, you will understand soon enough.”

As a cold sweat ran down the back of his neck, Zack was forced to accept that he had been robbed of yet another sanctuary, as the place he once called his home turned into a source of great distress and, just like everywhere else, became riddled with unpredictability. Yet, among all those ominous thoughts and feelings of insecurity, there was a place still untouched residing in his heart that he knew he could always take refuge in whenever the situation was at its worst. It might’ve taken him an unnervingly long time to settle the debate with himself, but a part of him had always known that the place he kept referring to as home wasn’t a spot on any map; it was wherever Cloud was. 

And now, he needed him more than ever. 

Fastening the sword on his back, Zack began sprinting so fast back towards the canyon where he had left Cloud, he could’ve sworn he was able to keep up with Genesis’ flying.

* * * * *

Close to a thousand thoughts must’ve whirled through his mind, but Zack didn’t dwell on any of them. As thing stood, his mission was straightforward, and he would stop at nothing to ensure Cloud’s safety. 

Genesis was known as a formidable swordsman, but judging by his state, he must’ve lost a considerable amount of his strength. At the same time, Genesis was also incredibly astute, which meant that jumping straight into battle might’ve not been part of his plan. Otherwise, he would’ve already done it, back at the bridge when he encountered Zack as well as at their previous location, near the cliff’s edge, overlooking Gongaga. 

While Zack wasn’t in the best shape either, he could still wield the Buster Sword as though it were an extension of his arm, and in those moments, he understood all too well the crucial implications of his next course of action.

The canyon was before him, and after a prompt scan of the area, Zack concluded that Genesis had yet to find his way there. However, based on his earlier deductions, Zack couldn’t exclude the existence of certain distractions as they had always been part of Genesis’ arsenal. In other words, just because Genesis wasn’t there, it didn’t necessarily mean that he wouldn’t employ somebody else to do the work for him. 

„Don’t you dare take another step!” Zack’s voice thundered through the valley around them, and the person who was at an arm’s length away from the bike turned to face him, visibly alarmed that Zack had it back so shortly.

It might’ve taken Zack a couple of moments to piece together the fragments of the figure he thought he recognized, but there was no mistaking it. He had seen that person before. Although before, he was different... back then, he didn’t share in Genesis’ affliction.

„Hollander...” Zack murmured and pressed forward towards him. „What happened to you?” he followed, noticing that the high level of degradation that befell Genesis spread over Hollander’s body too.

„Despite times, desperate measures,” the once renown Shinra professor offered tersely, following Zack with his eyes as he stopped in front of him. „After nearly being killed by Genesis, what other choice did I have? Borrowing some of his cells were my only shot at... surviving.” 

„Did he sent you here too?” Zack growled, catching the devious glances he kept throwing towards Cloud.

„You see, this infantryman might be the last chance for both Genesis and me,” Hollander explained, his fingers twitching vigorously as though he was barely able to restrain himself. „We need to harvest him so that we can use him to take back our lives.”

„Harvest him? Use him?...” Zack gritted his teeth. „Haven’t you done enough?!” 

„A small price to pay for something so much greater than he could ever do or become. I mean, look at him... utterly disposable,” he spat. „Just like all the other infantrymen.”

Zack lunged towards Hollander as soon as he finished speaking. Dodging the Buster Sword was a challenging task in it of itself, and Zack would’ve sliced through Hollander if he didn’t react in time. It would seem that the cells the professor borrowed from Genesis not only prolonged his life but also developed certain aptitudes he didn’t possess before. The very fact that he was not only able to evade Zack’s attacks but strike back was astounding in it of itself. Yet, Zack’s attacks were relentless and continuous, the professor having drawn all the anger and frustration out of him. Frenzied, Zack saw it was up to him to put an end once and for all to the professor’s madness.

„I’d be a lot more careful about what words I chose to spew out if I were you, Hollander!”

If, at one point in his life, Zack would’ve stopped himself and take the time to consider the consequences of his actions, that wasn’t one of them. Zack couldn’t bring himself to see a future in which Hollander’s utter disregard for human life and thirst for heinous experiments would cease, and he would instead use his genius for good. That sort of vile mentality was what brought both him and Cloud to that situation in the first place. The professor might’ve escaped Zack once, but this time, he wouldn’t allow his deeds to go unchecked. 

„Quite the fiery one, aren’t you?” he smirked, strangely fascinated to observe Zack’s every move. „No wonder Genesis used to have such high hopes for you.”

While it might’ve been a trick to deceive him or halt he engages, Zack couldn’t dismiss the implication of such a concept. He never would’ve believed that Genesis had even looked his way for more than a moment, let alone trusting that he would be his hope at salvation. 

Yet, that line of thinking brought forth a strange sensation and made Zack open his eyes at the possibility that bringing Hollander to justice wasn’t part of his duties anymore. No matter how much he wished to end the vile line of scientists, his mission as bodyguard outweighed everything else. Judging others for their wrongdoings and sentencing them to death... that wasn’t him. Zack wasn’t a monster, regardless of Genesis’ previous interpretation. And then more than ever, he wasn’t going to become one either. 

Shifting the Buster Sword’s weight in his arms, as though to settle his footing, Zack ceased his attack. His gaze was still fixated upon Hollander, and more specifically, to his eyes, which were frantically searching his posture for any indication as to where his next attack would come from. However, before Zack could bring himself to say anything, a raffle of wind brushed against him just as he lowered his weapon before Hollander. 

A blink of the eyes later, from Zack’s side, a shadow emerged, passing by him as though it was one with the wind. Initially devoid of shape and form, it steadily began to display certain elements that Zack had initially missed. 

The longer he got to observe it in its way past him, Zack noticed that he recognized most of the elusive features, though he found it hard to make peace with what he saw. Before his eyes, a familiar face emerged and intervened before Hollander managed to take advantage of Zack’s change of heart.

„Angeal...” Zack breathed, as he finally found the strength to piece together everything he made out in the brief window of time he was given.

„Take the bike and get out of here,” he urged, stopping Hollander’s sudden and desperate attack from reaching Zack.

Zack’s heart was deafening in his ears, the clash of swords almost indistinguishable from background noise. „No, I have to...”

„There’s no time, Zack,” Angeal added and peered over his shoulder. „Shinra is closing in to this location.”

Stalling any longer would’ve spelled disaster, and as such, the only thing Zack could do was comply. Turning, he began putting distance between him and Angeal, in the back of his mind, wondering if Genesis would swoop in on them at any moment to assist his companion if nothing else. 

Despite his attempts at surveying the land around him as he made his way back to the bike, Zack couldn’t sense Genesis at all. Whether he retreated after their brief conversation or was forced to reconsider his chances after spotting the military proved impossible to determine, and Zack decided he wasn’t going to wait and find out. While still disheveled after the brief ruffle with Hollander, there was no denying how glad he felt after reuniting with an unharmed Cloud.

„You’ve become quite the popular guy,” Zack said towards the blond as he tried to catch his breath. „If I didn’t know any better, I’d even be jealous,” he chuckled before throwing himself on the bike. „But only a little bit.”

Zack saught to go out of Gongaga through a different route, one that wasn’t frequented by the usual travelers. He couldn’t risk an incursion with any more opposition, not when both Genesis and Hollander had just expressed their interest in them too. As if the military and the Turks weren’t enough. 

As for Angeal... regardless of how out of place it was actually to meet him face to face after such a long time, their reunion was short-lived. What was most surprising, however, was that he knew about the military and somehow was quick to intervene and warn him of the approaching threat. While Angeal was as worthy of his admiration as he ever was, Zack still felt like he was missing a critical piece to that entire puzzle. 

The whole trip away from Gongaga would have him struggling to figure out what exactly was going on, and not just because too much was happening but because everything began unraveling itself all at once.

* * * * *

The night was already upon them, and it must’ve been the hundredth time Zack jumped at the sound of the wind picking up. He had no idea if Angeal had any intention of meeting up with him after he facilitated his escape, although he would’ve liked for that to be the case. While he felt fortunate to have heeded his advice, Zack would’ve regretted if he wouldn’t have at least tried to give Angeal some time to catch up to them. 

Making his way to Gongaga only to exchange a brief word and then disappearing again seemed like a waste of energy. However, Zack would’ve used any excuse to have that moment with him. An opportunity to put a lot of grief to rest. To adequately express his gratitude if nothing else.

Zack still wasn’t sure how Angeal could be there in the first place. He had struggled for so long to make peace with the fact that he was gone and that he would never get to feel his presence again, that he couldn’t say for sure at what point did wishful thinking end and reality began. Yet, his eyes couldn’t have been playing tricks on him. It indeed was Angeal back there who saved him. He threw himself in harm’s way so that he could escape... and instead of doing that, Zack was giving everybody a chance to catch up to them. That whole time, he had been squandering Angeal’s sacrifice in the hopes of a reunion that wasn’t supposed to happen in the first place. 

„Maybe we should get moving again,” Zack murmured and lifted his head, ashamed at how faithful the hopeless optimist character trait was resonating with him. „What do you think, Cloud?” he then threw the blond a glance.

Zack pressed on his knees with both his hands and stood up. Unknowingly yet again, he had gotten overexcited at the thought of a reunion. He didn’t consider his enthusiasm as out of place, as those days, kind intentions were so rare to come across that Zack was willing to cling onto anything, no matter how farfetched or improbable, for a break from the sense of dread that followed them wherever they went.

„It’s been a while, Zack.”

Zack couldn’t help the vulnerability that overwhelmed him once he placed the particular tone of voice. Instinctively, he turned, and his gaze refocused upon the one-winged man in the distance, his sudden appearance just as baffling now as it was that first time he saw him. 

„You’re here...” Zack barely said as Angeal descended from the darkened heavens a few feet in front of him. „You’re actually here,” he managed, the bewildered expression having never left him.

Zack felt his head heavy, just as much as his heart, but that didn’t stop him from approaching the man he had longed to meet. While he bore the same rugged features that Zack remembered in him, something felt amiss. Through some twisted turn of events, the degradation had made its way to him too and had left their disastrous mark upon the once seemingly invulnerable SOLDIER-hero.

„I don’t even know where to start, but... can I ask what happened? This whole time I thought that you were... no, I was sure that I...,” Zack blurted out around his nerves, the smell of rain and blood still strong in his mind just as it had been on the day they said their final goodbyes.

„Ah, about that,” the man said and lowered his head before Zack. „I’m sorry to disappoint, but despite my appearance, I’m not him. I’m just... a copy.”

Zack blinked, his mouth ajar. „Wha-what... a copy?” 

„This might come as a shock, but,” he smiled, and for a moment, Zack almost recognized him. „I’m Lazard.”

„I don’t understand... You’ve been gone for so long,” the words flew off his lips, leaving Zack with an acute ache in his chest. „Since before... Junon,” he let out a gasp and then met Lazard’s gaze. „Does that mean that Hollander’s escape... did you have a part to play in that too?”

Lazard’s brows furrowed deeply. „I’ve made my mistakes in the past and spent this whole time trying to repent. It would seem that choosing the wrong side has been a repeated pattern of mine. One that I am not in the least proud of.”

„Is that how this happened?” Zack asked as he felt the sense of relief he had associated with the thought meeting Angeal once more dissipated with each explanation he was offered.

Lazard nodded briskly. „Angeal’s cells are flowing through me. Along with the degradation that was part of him.”

Without warning, Zack threw himself before Cloud, his body stiff and complete as though meant to shield the defenseless blond. Despite his appearance, Lazard, just like Genesis and Hollander, might be tempted to take advantage of Cloud. Zack wasn’t going to let that happen, regardless of who it was that challenged him.

„You don’t need to worry about that,” Lazard allowed and waved his hand towards him to stand down. „I’m aware that I don’t have much time left, yet, instead of permitting desperation and vengeance to cloud my judgment and urge me to find a cure for my condition... there are other feelings, stronger, more potent flowing through my veins,” he spoke calmly, Zack absorbing each word, impatiently searching for anything that might be a threat disguised as good intentions. „I want to help you, and in the same measure save Genesis... the whole world if it were in my grasp.”

While lowering his guard so quickly had not been something Zack wanted to do, it was in that particular moment that a lot of connections formed in his mind. Things related to his ambitions and his dreams, and more importantly, how he wanted his future to look like. That must’ve been why the memories of heroes of light and saviors of the planet he first heard of from Genesis’ poems still existed in his memories. Unknowingly, they had always been fueled by Angeal’s words and kept alive by his heroic deeds. Angeal also believed in those concepts, and even though he might’ve never been able to make them a reality through his own means, he knew that by leaving a legacy behind him, Zack might just be able to pull it off if worse came to pass.

„No doubt that Angeal lives inside you. That sounds so much like him I can’t see anybody but him,” Zack huffed, as a thousand moments seemed to come together in one rush of honesty. „He’d always say to follow your dreams.”

„You still remember that, huh?” Lazard smiled and then tilted his head slightly to Zack. „So, let me ask you this then. What is your dream, Zack?”

„That’s an easy one,” he said confidently and brought his hand up to a point at himself. „The same as it’s always been. To become a hero.”

„Unattainable dreams are the best kind,” he spoke lowly, Zack finding it uncanny how easy it was to mistake him for Angeal.

„Not if you have something worth fighting for,” he added as his eyes flickered instinctively to the blond behind him, who, despite his quiet demeanor, was still able to move his heart when he least expected.

Lazard caught the worry in his voice and the soft light of his eyes, and although he found them to be something he hadn’t observed before in Zack, he chose not to inquire further. He exhaled slowly, all too aware that there still were many hardships plaguing the road ahead to get lost in details. 

„You know... Genesis will stop at nothing to see his mission through,” he added, careful to sound calm. „It’s crucial that we stop him before he does any more harm.”

„I know,” Zack nodded almost instantaneously, the sorrow colliding with his sense of duty as they both found a way to his heart. „What about Hollander, though? Do you know where either of them is?”

„Hollander has paid for his wrongdoings,” the man offered and brought his hands together, a crimson light passing through in his eyes. „As for Genesis... He was always careful about revealing too much. Continually secretive, quiet. Thinking on his own for his own. Your guess is as good as mine at this point,” he ended and lifted his head to meet Zack’s gaze.

Zack hummed as their conversation lapsed into natural silence. It felt strange to be put in a situation that would have him chase after one of the former SOLDIER-heroes, and yet, despite his desire to stay away, he found that to be the moment in which their paths finally converged. Running away from his destiny didn’t seem like a wise choice, and as such, Zack recognized it was up to him to see his calling fulfilled, put an end to all the disputes once and for all. It might’ve been a heavy burden to carry, but he was fortunate that he wasn’t alone. Regardless of how limited their resources were, finally, having some allies by his side was incredibly refreshing. 

„Some things never do change,” Zack murmured, the implication of those words now catching a whole new meaning as his mind was quick to take him back to his and Genesis’ brief encounter on the bridge.

Zack took a moment, recognizing that somewhere between doubts and uncertainties, there had been a part of him that always knew. Because just like him, whenever the weight of the world would have him pinned down, his heart would have him look into the direction of the place where he felt comfortable, at ease, and, most importantly, safe. Which, in more ways than not, could’ve been the case for Genesis too, who had now been left to fend for himself. 

„Of course, I know where Genesis is...” Zack brought his head up and spoke, feeling a little more clear-headed. „At the only place that he ever called home.”

* * * * *

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Originally, chapter 14 was supposed to be a stand-alone, but again, the deeper I delved into the story the more elements I found that needed to be better explored and fleshed out. It felt strange leaving them aside and as such, I've separated it into two chapters (hurray more content). The next chapter will finish the story and then the last one well... you will just have to wait and find out!
> 
> After much deliberation, I have decided to release the remainder of the chapters of Blue this month (everything is written and set in stone, it just needs some editing). Chapter 15 is going to come around the 21st of Sept and then the last chapter will be on the last day of the month~
> 
> Please look forward to them and as always, don't be shy to share your thoughts about the story so far, I value your comments immensely and it brings me immense joy to see that this rendition of the story is something you enjoy. 
> 
> [Tumblr](https://nightyelfy.tumblr.com/) is here if anybody wants to check it out~


	15. Chapter 15

The way from Gongaga to Banora was long and would take them even longer to reach their destination if they were to travel with the threat of an ambush constantly at the back of their minds. However, with Lazard’s assistance and guidance, Zack and Cloud evaded the military more effectively and eventually got the supplies they so desperately needed. 

After the uproar their presence caused in Gongaga, they expected the military to be even more cautious in keeping track of everybody that traveled around the area. What the military didn’t expect, however, was that Lazard would be their eyes and ears to everything they weren’t able to take care of themselves. While traveling on the road, Lazard scouted the area for them from a safe distance, hastily pointed them in the right direction, and rerouted them at the slightest sign of checkpoints, road stops, or anything that would hinder their journey. 

Zack was grateful for everything he did for them, which was, in many ways, still nothing short of miraculous intervention. After so much time traveling alongside Cloud, not only did the two have an ally by their side, but also a reliable companion looking out for them. The change felt that it happened a bit too fast, and while many questions still nipped at his conscience when he least expected, Zack remained focused on the road ahead. Their journey would take them even further than he had planned initially, and as such, he trusted he had a lot of time at his disposal to come to terms with each of his queries. 

While Lazard’s company was a welcomed change from the norm, the fact that he shared in Angeal’s appearance helped a lot with morale. Zack would find himself a bit too relax and casual in his presence, something he would’ve never done back when Lazard was sitting in the director’s chair at Shinra. Too often, he’d joke and make sly remarks, only to stop himself after it was already too late, flustered and abashed, and excuse himself from Lazard’s vicinity, thinking that some distance would help his mind readjust to their current standing. 

Yet, Lazard never seemed to mind his straightforwardness. He would listen to Zack every time he talked, would humor him whenever he inquired about different matters and did everything he could to help him, regardless if he requested it or not. 

Though, there were moments when in his solitude, Lazard questioned himself whether he did that because he wanted to or because Angeal’s wish to guide Zack was still alive inside him. In many ways, that didn’t matter much, but for Lazard, sometimes, a bit of clarity would’ve gone a long way to resolve some of his unexpressed qualms.

Whenever they would stop at a town or small village to resupply, they had to make sure that their visits were short and as inconspicuous as possible, which sometimes proved difficult for Zack. He would often find himself gawking at the window of a bakery or the wears of an exotic merchant, his instincts and curiosity getting the better of him. In time, Zack got better at putting up a good front whenever his moments of reverie occurred, excusing himself by saying that he was new in the area or that he was a collector of rare items. 

Lazard would shake his head at Zack’s poor attempts at making excuses, but deep down, he appreciated his creativity. While Lazard never brought himself to query him directly, he got to piece together fragments of the things he remembered from back in the day and found that while Zack was still very much the aloof but spirited and determined SOLDIER, something was indeed different about him. Something to do with the way Zack carried himself, or the pensive depth that his Mako-tinted eyes had taken. It must’ve all had to do with the multiple facets of the task that he had taken upon himself. Somehow, it involved his blond companion, though he was good at keeping the matter concealed, never bringing it up for discussion even in his moments of utter frankness.

Although initially, Zack took to offering his assistance for random tasks around towns, hoping it would suffice as compensation for their purchases, that shortly became ineffective. Since they didn’t always have time to waste working their way from town to town, Lazard took to introducing him as his bodyguard. 

All of a sudden, a new dimension of opportunity seemed to have opened up to Zack. Wares ranging from gas to food would be offered to him at a significantly lower price, which Zack could afford regardless of what he had to trade or had collected throughout their journey across the continent. Surprisingly, people were open to bartering and were a lot more social if only they were approached the right way. 

Zack still had no idea how Lazard could charm anybody he interacted with so effectively, but then again, he used to be the director of SOLDIER. Lazard knew his way around people better than anybody else Zack had ever met and instinctively found it easy to talk to those they stumbled upon, which was a very treasured quirk, especially when it came time to cross the ocean.

* * * * *

„This trip of ours turned out to be quite something, huh, Cloud?” Zack joked as he closed the window to the small cabin they were offered on the ship bound to Mideel.

The winds were rather feisty that evening, carrying with them the smell of a storm that was churning ravenously somewhere in the furthest reaches of the ocean. Zack saught to make the trip as comfortable as possible for Cloud, because even after so much time spent on the road, their travels were still far from over. 

Considering their situation, Zack was thankful that they had managed to board a ship in the first place. Thanks to Lazard’s fascinating haggling skills, not only were there no questions asked, but the fare was also substantially lower than usual. That relieved Zack greatly, as he didn’t have to struggle to come up with excuses for who they were, under what pretext they were traveling, or why was Cloud in that worrisome state. Yet, even after graced by so many small but substantial blessings, Zack couldn’t help but wonder how it would all turn out. 

It wasn’t necessarily that Zack doubted their mission, but he was well aware that they embarked on this whole mission because of a hunch. There had never been any certainty that Genesis was indeed in Banora, but then again, that was the only lead they had. And while Lazard never opposed his idea, that could’ve been because he didn’t have any suggestion of his own, and not necessarily because he trusted Zack’s instincts fully.

Zack exhaled heavily as he leaned down against the cold metal wall of the small cabin they were given on the ship. The room was equipped with only one bed, which Zack immediately offered to Cloud, as he knew the blond needed the rest more than he did. 

„I remember it was my idea to travel. Though I wouldn’t have minded if our circumstances were slightly different,” Zack spoke lowly, trying to get accustomed to the sensation of the waves' unusual movement and how the ship swayed under their guidance. „There were so many cool places I wanted you to see.” 

In closing his eyes for a brief moment, Zack recalled the pristine lakes they rested beside that one night when the heavens rained a thousand stars, brightening up the sky as though it was midday. The majestic cliff edges of the mountain ranges they had to cross as they made their way from Gongaga, the pang caused by him being unable to see his parents even after making the trip persisting in his heart. The vast lush pastures, where golden chocobos ran freely, kweh-ing loudly as they approached them and raced by their side for a portion of the way. The evergreen forests with their invigorating smell, which provided them with cover from the feisty elements during some malevolent squalls and bountiful fruit-filled trees just right for harvest. The pristine and tranquil flaxen shore as well as the breathtaking stillness of the illimitable ocean just as they embarked on their trip across it.

Zack huffed out a laugh at the recollection and then threw a glance at Cloud to his right. While it had been too long since he last felt the warmth of a sturdy bed, it wasn’t like he minded sleeping on the floor. It was already way more comfortable with the few blankets he had grabbed from the cabinet and place underneath him than the cold, grimy, and often, wet ground he had been resting on for the countless weeks they had been out in the wilderness with no shelter above their heads. Besides, it had never been about where he slept as long as he knew Cloud was beside him, his presence more reassuring than the comforts of any bed. 

„Once things settle down, maybe you’d like to go again,” Zack offered, and instinctively lifted his head, hoping he would encounter a vast sky, only to have the planks of the above floorboard grace his sight. „But next time, no more excuses for you not checking out the views I’m showing you, alright?” 

Smiling, Zack turned his head towards Cloud. He looked so peaceful, it proved impossible not to be lured by the sound of his soft intakes of breath. The blond must’ve been dreaming, Zack thought instinctively as he gathered himself from the floor and checked on him from up close. As to what his dreams looked like, whether they were peaceful or bustling, it was impossible to say from just observing him, though Zack wanted to believe that regardless of their nature, it wasn’t anything Cloud couldn’t handle.

There was no going around the fact that Cloud hadn’t eaten or drunk anything since before Zack freed him from the pod back in Nibelheim. So, while many weeks had passed since they began reclaiming their freedom, it wasn’t like either of them were given more than a few moments at a time to relish in that sense of ease. Not to mention that Cloud had yet to show any signs of recovery. Observing him in that warped state was still troubling, and the longer he allowed it to persist and torment Cloud, the more it made Zack doubt his usefulness. Though Cloud had gone to a place Zack couldn’t follow, he had to trust that he would be able to pull through, for he would be by his side the entire way, both in thought and in presence. 

While the Mako proved itself to be relentless with Cloud’s mind, at least, in that catatonic state, there had been a single benefit. Judging by the stillness and the few gestures Cloud was able to perform, his body was dormant. The Mako must’ve prevented his body from deteriorating, so any damage that could come from being immobile for so long wasn’t going to affect him in the long run. Or so Zack had hoped would be the case. Though again, there was no way to verify that until the blond woke up.

„Somehow, I really want to kiss you right now,” Zack murmured, his gaze softening as it switched between Cloud’s half-closed eyes and his lips. „I won’t do it until you wake up, though, I want you to be here... so, I’ll just hold onto it until then,” he pressed his lips against the blond's cold hand and brought it up to nuzzle his cheek against it.

Deep down, Zack was still hoping for a change, yet even after so long, he was doleful and not necessarily because Cloud was slow to show any improvements, but because he couldn’t vouch that any of the things he was doing were helpful. If Zack could contact doctors, he would’ve done it already. If he had access to a hospital, they would’ve been there the second he recovered Cloud from the pod. However, those amenities weren’t something he or even Lazard, in his apparent infinite resourcefulness, could access at the moment.

As it had been up until that very moment, Zack would have to trust that his words reached Cloud and his touch encouraged him to push through his weary state, even if slightly. Since appearing crestfallen before the blond had never been something he wanted to do, Zack smiled through his heartache and parted his lips to speak once more.

„This ship... it won’t take us to Midgar. The city is still our destination just so we’re clear on that, but we have to take a small detour first. I hope that’s ok with you too.”

The last time Zack went to Banora, he was accompanying Angeal for a mission. He remembered that they were tasked with scouting out the area for any signs of Genesis, back when the news of him deserting had been made official. That entire ordeal felt like it happened lifetimes ago, yet for whatever reason, Zack couldn’t help but find so much nostalgia in his predicament that he was close to feeling ashamed. After everything that happened, those were the memories that he ended up taking comfort in, that those times were still the ones that made their way back to him when he had so many others to choose from. Yet, even Zack had to admit how little control he had over the things he recalled in his moments of vulnerability. 

The sound of footsteps outside their cabin door snapped him out of his mind. Zack threw a glance over his shoulder, thinking that a knock would soon follow, but there was nothing of the sort. He stood up and aimed for the door, but turned to Cloud just as he pressed a hand to the door handle. 

„You know the drill by now, Cloud. You stay put and rest up,” he offered with a grin. „I’ll make sure everything’s fine outside.”

Just as he exited the cabin, Zack spotted a lonely figure leaning against the side of the ship. He closed the door behind him and approached, making sure to address the man by the proper name this time around and to stop referring to him as Angeal after having already done it way too many times to keep track of any more throughout their journey. 

„It wasn’t my intention to disturb you,” Lazard allowed just as Zack stopped beside him. „I heard you were talking to him again. Though you tend to do that a lot, I noticed.”

„Of course,” Zack spoke, grabbing hold of the ledge and taking a deep breath, the salty air reinvigorating him profoundly. „He has motion sickness, and I don’t know how that manifests at sea.”

Lazard breathed out a laugh and turned to him. „He’s fortunate to have you looking after him.”

„We look after each other,” Zack leaned forward and folded his arms under his chin to rest his head more comfortably. „That was the deal. And I’m not one to back out of a promise.”

The ocean was calm that evening, which made their transit across it relatively slow. But if nothing else, for once in a very long while, everything was peaceful around them, and taking a few moments to enjoy the refreshing breeze might’ve not been such a bad change from the usual furor of the world.

„That’s mighty honorable of you,” he offered and averted his gaze from Zack, his brows narrowing slightly. „But his affliction... it’s not natural, is it?”

„Mako poisoning,” Zack said in one breath, finding it strange that he had been the first one he disclosed that information to, which shouldn’t have come as a surprise since talking to Angeal had always been easy.

„I’m sorry to hear, Zack. You must know that’s not something people usually...”

Gasping lowly, Zack took note of his mistake after letting his guard down. His wishful thinking got the better of him as he came to realize that it had been Lazard he had been talking to that whole time. Again, not Angeal.

„It’s fine,” he interrupted and said more for himself than for the director’s comfort. „He will be fine.”

„Right,” Lazard offered with a polite smile and, turning to face him, pressed a hand to his shoulder. „It’s nice to see that fire hasn’t died out.”

Although the touch and the words felt incredibly familiar, that was the first time Zack recognized that while Lazard might’ve taken a lot of Angeal’s quirks, speech patterns, and instincts, even his appearance, he wasn’t him. And while it didn’t necessarily take any pressure off their intricate situation, it was reassuring to make that distinction once and for all. 

Zack remained on the ship’s main deck for a long while that evening, watching as the continent’s coast was slowly disappearing under the line of the horizon. In taking time to figure out what he was leaving behind, Zack understood that yet another chapter of his life was coming to a close. And with it, the fact that he would never get to see Angeal again. 

Coming to terms with that was ravaging on a whole different level, but it was something that Zack had to do. In a way, perhaps, he didn’t have to meet him again. Just like his memories, a part of his mentor would always live inside of him, alongside his teaching and words, and most importantly, his sword, which, just like Cloud, had never left his side that entire time.

* * * * *

„Oh, Director, I’ve been wondering about something...” Zack hailed Lazard just after they boarded the ferry that would take them from Medeel to Banora.

Lazard turned to face him, curious as to what Zack had to inquire about considering they had already resupplied in Medeel. Everything and everybody was set for the last part of their journey, which unlike their previous trip across the ocean, was only going to take them a couple of hours.

„Do you happen to know what a bunch of clouds is called?”

„A bunch of clouds?” Lazard repeated, a brow quirked in his direction.

„Yeah, it’s just something that’s been on my mind for a while,” Zack laughed and rubbed the back of his head. „I haven’t really been able to figure it out.”

„That’s quite the strange question,” he blinked through his surprise. „I believe it’s a cumulonimbus. Which is Latin for a heap of clouds,” Lazard felt the need to explain seeing the utterly baffled expression on Zack’s face.

„A heap of clouds... huh,” Zack snickered before starting to glow with an unprecedented sense of pride. „Oh, it has a nice ring to it too,” he concluded and then whipped around on his heels. „Thanks for that, Director. Oh, hey, Cloud, you’ll never guess what I just found out...” he called out and left Lazard’s side, deeming there wasn’t a moment to waste before sharing the precious information he had just acquired with the blond.

* * * * *

As soon as the ferry docked on the small harbor on the coast opposite Medeel, Lazard informed Zack to go on ahead, asking that he’d wait for him once he reached Banora. Zack complied without protest and watched as Lazard took off his own, his desire to put distance between them curious but not unexpected. During their trip on the ocean, there had been many days in which Lazard preferred to keep to himself, locked inside his cabin without word or notice. While Zack never inquired directly about the reason behind his absence, he liked to believe that it had something to do with his condition.

Despite Lazard’s best attempts at keeping it hidden, Zack could see how much it affected him, consuming him bit by bit with each day that passed. Thinking him a fool for having agreed to go on this journey together with them wouldn’t have been an offense, rather an obvious truth. Yet, there were certain things Lazard wanted to see through before his final hour. And Zack wasn’t one to rob him of that peace, as that was something he respected as well. Plus, he was determined to work twice as hard if prompted if only he could offer that to Lazard.

Fastening everything on the bike, checking on their supplies once more before making sure Cloud was safety strapped in the sidecar, Zack turned his head around, glancing at the tranquil sea behind him. Their journey had taken them from one corner of the world to the other, and while that was an admirable feat in it of itself, the fact that they were still able and willing to go on was downright extraordinary. 

They had left a lot of danger and uncertainty behind them, and although their hearts became lined with dread as a result of the daunting incidents they went through, Zack felt more than ready to thread new roads, explore other lands and gaze at a different sunrise for a chance. Yet, before any of that could happen, Zack knew that there was one more thing he needed to tend to. 

In turning his head on the road that would take them to Banora, Zack promised that he wouldn’t let alarm take over him if this final task would turn out to be his most challenging yet.

* * * * *

By the time Zack reached Banora alongside Cloud, the sun had already begun setting. While it was tough to predict if the military had taken note of their departure from the continent or not, Zack saught not to let that influence the usual precautions he took to ensure their safety. Thus, Zack had chosen to remain on the outskirts of town, just as he had been doing every time they neared a settlement. Unsure about the perils that might’ve lied ahead, he also had to consider that Genesis might be there. And more often than not, he proved to be a more unpredictable opponent than any assault launched upon them by Shinra.

Surrounded by the sound of the crackling motor as it cooled, Zack dismounted the bike and gently took Cloud out of the sidecar, reminding him how important it was that he stretched his legs in between rides. He was glad to see the whole sea-faring trip hadn’t affected Cloud, which, in a way, shouldn’t have come as a surprise at all. Cloud’s motion sickness had never manifested when he was beside him, even if there was a part of Zack that would’ve wanted nothing more than to tend to him and his dizziness if only he would’ve woken up. 

As a treat for his unwavering bravery, Zack thought he might treat Cloud to something special. After being at the mercy of the cold ocean breeze for a long time, Cloud’s weakened body could do with a bit of on-land warmth, and so, that night, Zack made a small fire to watch over them.

„Do you remember that night it rained?” Zack found himself speaking, his eyes flitting towards the night sky only to lower eventually to Cloud’s drowsy face. „During our time in Nibelheim... we were supposed to go patrolling, but for some reason, neither of us wanted to move,” he chuckled and reached down to search for the blond’s hand. „You have that effect on me, I told you about it,” he whispered and began tracing Cloud’s fingers with the tips of his.

They had spent so much time traversing the masses of land and water, and keeping track of fleeting things such as time, proved arduous if not impossible. In his mind, there was a checklist, and although Zack kept adding and substracting items out of it, the more they traveled, his top priority had always been caring for Cloud. And so far, no matter the hurdles he had to overcome, Zack was pleased that he had managed to keep Cloud safe.

„You were deep in thought, considering all sorts of things... about us. Or rather, you were worrying about our future... and there I was beside you, and all I could think about was how much I want to spend the rest of my life by your side.”

Lowering his head, Zack breathed out a chuckle. He was startled to find how lighter his shoulder, or rather his entire body became after saying that out loud. That kind of honesty, even if it once used to be foreign to him, had slowly become second nature, mainly when it was directed towards Cloud. Keeping those things from him didn’t feel right anymore, and most of all, Zack wanted Cloud to know that despite everything, he had never stopped being the center of his world.

„I know now that... there are things we can have but can’t keep, just like my time with you,” Zack’s mouth turned dry, but he pressed on through the discomfort and chose to glimpse at the dwindling fire before them. „I mean, I don’t even know if you’ll remember our time together in Nibelheim. But you know what?” he lifted his head to meet Cloud’s dimmed gaze. „I’ll hold tightly onto those memories for your sake too, and once you’ve awakened, we’ll go through everything... bit by bit, at your pace.”

His heart flinched inside of him, but Zack allowed the emotions to flow through him as he shifted his body and moved closer to Cloud. 

„Though, I ain’t gonna lie. I will be a bit... disheartened,” Zack finally settled on a word, „if I’m the only one who remembers it all. Then again, it might not be all that bad. I’ll just have to do my best to help you fill in the blanks... if you’ll still have me, that is, Cloud.”

Zack frowned, carefully scanning the weak light coming from the campfire as it filtered through Cloud’s hair and rested with an amber hue softly on his pale cheeks. Cloud’s defenselessness did something to him, and instead of him holding his tongue, it was as though Zack was being tempted to keep pushing himself and his words, say everything he had been holding onto. 

„This whole time I’ve been talking, but I never seem to say the right thing,” Zack spoke and brought his hand up to Cloud’s face, hoping he wouldn’t take note of how his hand was trembling faintly. „Like I’m hesitating to state the obvious...”

Pausing, Zack allowed himself an intake of air as he had Cloud fixated right before him. He had missed him for so long, and even then, he would’ve given him anything if he would’ve asked. And maybe that was what was most painful, that Cloud had given him so much and yet, he hadn’t asked for anything but that Zack would fight for him. 

„Ah, Cloud, what I mean to say is that...” he allowed through the clump of emotions that ignited within his chest and placed his head at the base of Cloud’s neck, „is that I...”

„I...”

Jolting away from him, Zack felt as though he had been struck by lightning. He narrowed his eyes and focused his whole being onto Cloud, refusing to blink out of fear that he might affect the already astounding scenario he found himself into.

„Cloud?” Zack forced the question, his eyes desperately searching the depths of his for a sign.

Zack knew he might still be suffering the aftermath of extreme fatigue, but there was no mistaking it. His senses couldn’t have been playing tricks on him because just then, Cloud was looking at him, his eyes big but not yet bearing their typical intensity. Somehow, he had the same startled expression that Zack felt he was wearing, as though he had been staring into a mirror. 

„Cloud!” Zack lunged at him and threw his arms around him.

Zack was shivering uncontrollably as he squeezed Cloud in his arms, gathering him firmly at his chest. His heart was thrumming, so raucously, he feared it might escape his chest at any moment if he didn’t allow himself and, in the same measure, the blond some room to readjust themselves. Yet, he couldn’t bring himself to move.

„Oh, please, please, tell me you’re back,” Zack managed through shivering lips, one hand glued to the back of Cloud’s head and the other on his back, holding tightly as though afraid that any sudden gesture might send the blond plummeting once more into the haze. „Cloud, focus on me,” he whispered by his ear, „please, keep focusing on me.”

With staggered breath and mouth ajar, Zack retreated slowly, his curiosity aflame to check on the blond. The first thing he saw was how Cloud opened his mouth to speak, but no words came out. He closed his mouth the same time that Zack shut his, and despite giving Cloud another moment to gather his thoughts and overcome his numbness, he couldn’t seem to bring himself to say anything else.

„Are you... ok?” Zack murmured reluctantly.

„...ok?”

Cloud’s moments of clarity were brief, and after a few more attempts at conversing, Zack figured that the words, or any other of the gestures he performed for that matter, didn’t come from him. Cloud had just been imitating his speech pattern, tone of voice, movements, even the way he was blinking. 

It wasn’t much, it was barely anything, but it was more than Zack had been privileged to from him for... entire months. Considering how much he had been yearning for a sign of change from him, at that moment, that brief exchange between them meant everything. It gave Zack the strength he had been lacking and allowed him to breathe relieved that despite all the odds that at one point or another seemed against them, there was still hope. For them. For Cloud. 

While throughout their harrowing journey, Zack had been careful to keep a respectable distance between him and Cloud, not to startle or bother him in any way, somehow that night, Zack felt like he should do his everything in his power to make the blond feel as safe as he was during the trip across the ocean.

That night, he did just that when he wrapped his arms around Cloud, making sure he was comfortable and warm before the small fire as Zack coaxed him into resting against the safety of his chest. 

„Goodnight, blondie,” he allowed in the narrow space between them and nuzzled his cheek in Cloud’s hair.

That night, no nightmares troubled their sleep, and Zack could finally get the rest he needed.

* * * * *

The early light of morning would have Lazard making his way to the improvised campsite on the outskirts of Banora. As soon as he sensed him approaching, Zack was quick to wake and greet him, his cheerful attitude accompanying his every gesture and word of goodwill. However, because of the sheer joy coursing through him, Zack almost missed the fact that something was amiss with Lazard. With distress rekindled within, Zack observed how much he had weakened, his step ungainly and face whiter than it had ever been. It seemed that Lazard was barely hanging onto the last tethers of energy his degraded body allowed him.

„Could you watch over Cloud for me?” Zack offered, forcing his worry for the director’s condition aside.

Despite Lazard’s initial resolve to see their mission through and Genesis stopped, even he had to admit he wasn’t in a position to fight alongside Zack, and especially not against a foe as strong as the ex-SOLDIER. Hesitant to meet his gaze, Lazard replied with a nod, appreciative of Zack’s decision to still allow him to be of some assistance to him, even if it wasn’t in the way they had initially envisioned.

Smiling, Zack felt at ease to know that he wouldn’t have to leave Cloud alone, particularly not after he showed some timid first signs of recovery. While he would’ve wanted nothing more than to spend the rest of the day by his side, encouraging him to speak, listening to the distinctive sound of his voice, glancing into his blue eyes, waiting with bated breath until their regained their flawless splendor, Zack felt as though a force similar to destiny beckoned him somewhere else. 

Breaking free from his past had been a notion so foreign to him for so long, in many ways, Zack still couldn’t imagine how that sort of freedom would feel like. Though maybe once he dealt with Genesis, all those cumbersome ties would tear, and he would finally be privileged to know a real chance at living. 

With the threat of the military still real, Zack knew that the longer he postponed his duties, the more leeway he was giving them to close into their position. Based on their past incursions, Zack got accustomed to how they conducted their searches and understood he had to act fast, given that Banora was a high priority area just as much as Gongaga was. Moreover, it was a place they knew Zack might be tempted to visit since it was so closely connected to Angeal and in the same measure, his past.

„Wait for me, ok?” Zack pleaded with a smile and placed a kiss on the top of Cloud’s head. „I’ll be back before you know it.”

„...be back...”

Zack took in a deep breath and then stood up. It was strange to feel the Buster Sword’s weight resting so uncomfortably on his back, but then again, it must’ve had something to do with the place. It was the first time the Buster Sword returned to its hometown in the hands of a different owner. Zack could almost taste the tension in the air, yet his heart never faltered, and because he understood the importance of his task, he felt more determined than ever to see it through to its end.

„What are you going to do once you find him?” Lazard called out, following Zack with his eyes as he began heading towards the town of Banora.

„Genesis?” Zack followed and lowered his gaze to his hand.

Lazard held his tongue, curious as to Zack’s resolution. He looked deep in thought, brows furrowed as a plethora of ideas was stirring his mind, each with their implications and consequences. It was strange to find himself in that same position again. To make those sorts of tricky and convoluted decisions. To be put in charge upon the fate of those around him. However, the tendency to dither was by then a foregone impulse, and the answer came to Zack straight away.

„I’ll definitely save him,” Zack offered and squeezed his fist. „That’s what heroes do.”

* * * * *

Regardless of how much he had traveled, Zack couldn’t get used to the changes he kept encountering with every place he visited. Whether it was by how the people treated him, the landscape shifted, or the winds turned, Zack never seemed to find that comfortable ground to step upon and take energy from. He felt that sort of uneasiness before, as though he was missing something that was right under his nose but couldn’t put his finger on. It wasn’t fear that jabbed at his senses, but something more primal, an inner turmoil which stemmed from a place of unknowing.

All those feelings came rushing forth from the depths of his being once he closed the distance between him and Angeal and Genesis’ hometown only to find that the image he was ready to be greeted with existed now only in his mind. The town of Banora, much like Nibelheim lied in ruin, ashes and debris of some walls and foundation pillars, the only indication that a settlement once stood there. The realization of the same misfortune befalling the two towns stung deeply, yet Zack knew that between all that, lied the clue that his instincts weren’t wrong. And that Genesis must be nearby. 

The longer Zack explored the ruins, he concluded that the high level of damage couldn’t have happened overnight. It was clear that a lot of time has passed, but then again, he hadn’t been to Banora in ages. Most likely, since Shinra never looked back on Banora after it lost two SOLDIERs to it, Genesis found himself free to do as he pleased with the place. However, there was no dispelling the eerieness in the air.

That same place... that same ground, it carried Angeal and Genesis as they grew up. The exact path that they walked back then, Zack was walking upon now. Nostalgic as Zack was reminescing and yet incredibly sorrowful when considering the terrible fate that befell all the SOLDIERs of Shinra. 

Stopping in his march, Zack lifted his head and examined his surroundings once more. He couldn’t say for sure, but the reason the air carried that strange heaviness must’ve been because of the faint traces of Mako within it. It was with that find that Zack noticed a large opening in the ground, too deep to tell where it lead without further investigation. 

Cautiously, he descended into the tunnels under Banora and followed them into their deepest, darkest reaches, the Mako trail being his only guide through it all. While large portions were barely lit, everything around him was dominated by a tense silence, each step he made louder and more strenuous than the previous one.

The shiver of a low murmuring voice then penetrates the air, and Zack’s heart rattled inside of him. Pushing past the impact of the surprise, the closer he got to the end of the tunnel, the more apparent it became that he was familiar not only with the voice but also the chant it was reciting. 

Loveless always bore a distinct tone when gracing Genesis’ lips, and that time was no different. The end of the intricate series of tunnels would reveal to Zack a pacified Genesis resting beside what seemed like a statue of a woman. Not just a woman, but rather, a goddess, similar to the one that was mentioned in the poems he’d always invoke.

With hair white, and his body almost entirely overtaken by his degradation, Genesis turned to Zack, his eyes igniting as he addressed him. „You’re late.”

„You knew I’d come. This whole time... you waited for me?”

„You have succeeded Angeal’s spirit and carry a part of Sephiroth within you. Regardless of distance, the three friends would always find their way back to each other,” he spoke and gestured, each movement flowing decisively as it cut through the air.

„Genesis... I don’t understand. Why did things have to be like this?” Zack pressed, and Genesis hummed his curiosity. „Why was Shinra not enough for you? Were your friends... was Angeal not enough?”

„We were all part of the same experiment... disposable once we were found wanting. Can’t you see that even now after you yourself have become a peon in their game?”

„We hold our legacy in our hands,” Zack allowed, his gaze unfaltering as it fixated upon Genesis’. „No matter what anybody else says.”

Genesis clicked his tongue. „Words of a fool course through you.”

„Is that what you truly believe?” Zack pressed, noticing a strain to his voice that wasn’t there before.

„I gave Angeal a chance at fighting for his future! And what did he do? He gave it away... he left it in your hands,” he spoke between his teeth.

„You don’t think I can do it,” Zack gasped, the realization making his chest tighten. „I’m not worthy, huh?”

„Compared to Angeal... I wonder,” Genesis faced away from him and, in standing upright, reached towards his side, where Rapier was fastened. „Perhaps it’s about time we put that to the test.”

„Open your eyes, Genesis. I’ve come here to help you,” Zack clenched his fist, the air around them having chilled considerably. „All this running away... chasing ghosts and leaving a path of destruction everywhere you go... Hasn’t that been enough been already?!”

A haze befell Genesis’ expression once he began to cross the distance between them, fury and fire in his eyes as he appeared to be so set in his mindset, Zack’s words flitted by his ears.

„I figured it out, you know?” Genesis cut Zack short. „There were various interpretations of the words of Loveless but now finally... I think I have found the true meaning behind the gift of the goddess.”

Zack was still holding himself back from reaching out to the Buster Sword, although Genesis seemed determined to engage in combat. There was a part of him that thought that they wouldn’t have to resort to any violence. They had already done so much damage to everything at that point it all felt futile. And yet, despite his erudite inclinations, Genesis still felt that was how he best expressed himself; through the language most were familiar with.

„Everything... is connected to the lifestream. Monster or not, we will all join the lifestream. That is where we will find peace, and you and I are no exception,” Genesis worded carefully as Zack tracked his every gesture. „The planet demands that all monsters are quelled,” he followed curtly and lifted Rapier, channeling his resolve through it along the raw lifestream emanating from the rocks underneath their feet.

„Genesis, no, don’t do this to yourself!” Zack calls out, worried about the effects such a sudden absorption of raw power would have over him. „Just because we went out there looking for a change doesn’t make us monsters! You’re not a monster... You’re still you, and most of all, you’re still one of us.”

Genesis’ initial drive fluctuated for a mere moment as he halted his step. His head was low as everything stopped around them, and Zack dared to push his arm forward, looking to reach out to the stunned former SOLDIER-hero. Though comfort wasn’t what Genesis was after, or so the light that emanated from his eyes insinuated as it glowed menacingly once they fixated upon Zack. 

With a rabid smile, Genesis addressed him. „Stand and fight, First Class SOLDIER, Zack Fair.”

Gritting his teeth, Zack finally brought the Buster Sword forward, it’s blade quick to disperse the green of the lifestream that seeped through the cracks in the ground. Frustration was quick to set in after seeing how headstrong Genesis turned to be, yet this type of outcome was to be expected. It was just as Genesis said, the friends would find their way to each other and fighting for each other... with each other... that’s how they always settled their differences. They were soldiers, after all.

Their swords clashed loudly and forcefully against each other, Genesis still proving himself to be a formidable opponent. Zack’s resolve manifested slow, but he was determined to defeat Genesis, just as much for himself as for Lazard and the world’s safety. He might’ve not been able to push his sentence on Hollander, but that was because that wasn’t his fight. Unlike the rush manifesting before his eyes, a frenzy of rampant color, personal aspirations, shattered hope, and bitter pain. 

Perhaps there had been a point in which Genesis saw the potential within Zack, yet after what had happened between him and Angeal, the frustration caused by losing his dear friend ended up choosing Zack as its target. In a way, the reason Genesis desired to fight Zack was that he wanted to assure that he was worthy. That although the other SOLDIER-heroes’ glory proved to be a momentary burst of light, Angeal’s spirit might end up being the one that persisted the ravaging effects of time. That he would get to outlive them all through the care and zeal he had inspired within Zack. That through him, they would all find peace.

With a sharp metallic thud, Rapier landed on the ground by his wielder’s unsteady feet. While the battle had been fulled by a weave of visceral and raw emotion, it was short-lived. Zack stood tall and watched as Genesis collapsed in front of him, his cherished blade by his side. 

„The planet didn’t claim me,” he muttered lowly as though finding it hard to believe.

„While your body is still affected by the degradation, you should take this as a good thing,” Zack said and lowered himself to him. „Monsters don’t get another shot at redemption. So maybe, use the time you were given to keep your legacy from becoming nothing.”

Genesis hid his gaze in the ground as he took a moment to reconcile with Zack’s words. It wasn’t like him to give up, but that wasn’t what Zack had asked of him. Making peace with the past wasn’t surrendering, it was merely accepting it and moving on to cherish what the present made available and all in hopes of a better tomorrow. 

Zack wished Genesis understood that by him actually showing up and being there by his side was proof enough that he didn’t want him to perish and be forgotten. Zack had no way of knowing what was going through his mind at that time, but one thing was for sure, Genesis’ menacing aura had all but vanished.

* * * * *

As they made their way outside of the tunnels under Banora, Zack held firmly onto Genesis, the exertion from the battle having left his mark on his weakened body. Neither brought themselves to address each other, and thus, their road to the surface was riddled in silence and, surprisingly, a lot of calm.

For the first time in forever, Genesis didn’t seem to be in the mood to converse. Whether because he was feeling relieved or because he was too vain to speak to him since Zack claimed the day was still under debate, but for the moment, he thought they had settled their difference in the best way they knew. And maybe that sort of peace they somehow stumbled upon wasn’t all that bad.

Though that was what Zack had found by Genesis’ side, the events that unfolded on the surface told a different story. One drenched in blood and gunpowder, one that would leave behind an even deeper mark on the already stained ground of Banora. 

In the distance, by the shadow of the barely standing dumbapple tree, Lazard rested with an arm holding onto his stomach. Zack felt a twinge in his heart when he began piecing together some possible scenarios that unfolded in his absence and saught to quicken his approach. 

Lazard opened his eyes as soon as he felt Zack before him and spoke, his voice gravelly. „Shinra attacked.”

„Save your strength,” Zack urged as he laid Genesis down on the sloping grassy hill beside him before turning back to Lazard.

With distraught eyes, Zack inspected the former director only to find that whatever strength he was clinging onto the last time he saw him, barely any of it remained. Even his breath was strained, and gaze unfocused. Maybe that was why he chose to keep it away from Zack, although he immediately took note of it. 

„Director, is...”

„Safe,” he cleared his throat, his hand shaking as he pointed behind him. „What of...”

„Also safe,” Zack feigned a smile, understanding that he was referring to Genesis. 

While still gripped by his unresponsive stupor, Cloud looked at ease as the dwindling sunlight was setting upon them, the orange and red hues bright and just as warm. There was no mistaking the relief Zack felt wash over him when considering the length that Lazard was willing to go to prevent the military from taking him away. Just like Zack before him, Lazard understood the significance of a promise, and even more than that, looked to honor his.

„Director, is there something that you...” Zack spoke as he brought his gaze upon Lazard.

„This isn’t about me. It was you who took care of everything... and more. He would’ve been proud, Zack,” Lazard smiled and looked up at him.

Zack perked up, noting that although his words were heartfelt, his vitality was steadily dissipating from around him. Reaching out, Zack grabbed his arm and held onto him as with one last exhale, Lazard closed his eyes, succumbing to the peaceful and eternal slumber.

With the last light of the day resting on his face, Zack took a moment to gaze at him. There was no mistaking that although he had made peace with the fact that Lazard wasn’t Angeal, those last words had a strange effect on him. He never thought he needed to hear him say something like that until he did. Strangely, his heart felt unbelievably at ease afterward.

„Thank you... for everything,” Zack allowed and squeezed his arm, recognizing that his sacrifice had not been made in vain, and additionally, that Lazard had achieved that which he had set out to accomplish initially. 

There was no denying that behind the acute sense of loss, there was also an inkling of pride. In more ways than one, Angeal had indeed saved the world. And through that, he reinstates the sense of meaning into all their lives. 

Despite everything, Zack had managed to save Genesis. It might’ve not been much, it might’ve not meant a lot considering the sacrifices made along the way, but for Zack, it proved that he could do this. That his dream of becoming a hero wasn’t as unobtainable as Lazard considered. 

Zack stood up from his spot beside Lazard and went to inspect Genesis. He had fallen asleep in the shadow of the dumbapple tree, his face peaceful as though taking satisfaction from his version of joy. Perhaps the monsters that lurked in the back of his mind had been quelled, and the next time he would open his eyes, he would finally see a different version of the world than the dim and murky one he had been coerced into. 

Although there was rarely any certainty when it came to the former SOLDIER-hero, Zack had detected a willingness in Genesis that reassured he wouldn’t have to worry about him anymore. Through his steadfast heart, Zack had finally proved to Genesis that Angeal’s sacrifice wasn’t in vain and that his legacy was and would always be safe in his hands. 

Turning towards the dumbapple tree, Zack grabbed a few fruits and went around to everybody there. He placed one on the ground next to Genesis, gifted one to Lazard, and fastened one in Cloud’s hand, making sure to keep one for himself. 

„One heck of a reunion,” Zack huffed as he raised the apple in Genesis’ direction and went to sit down next to Cloud. „Though certainly memorable, I’ll give you that.”

Zack cleaned the apple on his vest and was just about to bite out of it when Cissnei’s words appear in his mind. The last time they had met was in Gongaga when she had handed him an envelope with the clear indication that it was meant to be read during a moment of peace. 

„Well, this is as close to one as I’ll get ever get,” Zack mumbled with the apple in his mouth and went to pull out the letter from his pocket. 

He unfolded it carefully, and with a curious edge to his eyes, he began reading. It might’ve been a while, but the effect Aerith’s words had on him was the same, whether it was talking to her face to face, chatting on the phone, or through a written message. Zack’s smile was broad as he went through each one of her sentences, feeling how his heart danced with joy, sure that just like him, the girl had also been involved in countless adventures of her own, though hopefully not as hectic as his were. Yet, the more he read, the graver Zack’s expression became, until there were no traces of his previous smile whatsoever.

Pushed forward by his uneasiness, Zack stood up, the apple slipping from his fingers and crashing down by his feet. Zack held onto the letter with both his hands as he went to read and reread Aerith’s message, making sure he didn’t misread or misinterpret any single line. There was one point in which he began doubting his ability to read or comprehend written letters as he honestly feared that the meaning of her words might’ve been evading or tricking him in some mysterious way.

„It’s been four years... F-O-U-R, the number 4,” he read out loud and pressed a hand to his forehead. „Final letter... 89th letter... after four years...”

For a long moment afterward, Zack forgot how to breathe. Suddenly, as though he had just been woken up from a prolonged and incredibly vivid dream, the world felt distant and colder around him. The next minutes would have Zack rush through the memories of his travels, confusion and uneasiness bombarding him from all sides as he struggled to find the thread linking everything together. 

Zack gasped loudly when he realized that the hints and clues had always been there, yet he had no idea what they meant when he encountered them. Both the fire and reconstruction of Nibelheim... the infantrymen and how they didn’t recognize either of them and their uncharacteristic ferocious bloodthirst... his worried parents... the destruction of Banora... and the last piece that tied and thus brought everything to reality, Aerith’s letter. 

„Aerith, wait for me,” Zack murmured as he folded the envelope and placed it back in his pocket.

Still feeling light-headed, Zack lowered himself to the side and carefully picked up Cloud from the ground. 

„We’ll make it back. You and me both, you got that, Cloud?” Zack fastened the blond around his shoulder and began to retrace his steps back to the main road, hoping that the motorcycle was still in one piece or at least usable after the Shinra attack. 

Before losing sight of the village of Banora entirely, Zack stopped and felt compelled to gaze upon it once more. While too much had changed, to the point it almost became unrecognizable, fragments of what was, along with those recollections of who they used to be, were still scattered around, if only someone were willing to look for them.

Genesis was the one Zack focused on lastly before redirecting his eyes to the road ahead, having decided to once and for all, leave Banora and everything that reminded him of that life behind him.

* * * * *

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> AND THEY LIVED HAPPILY EVER AFTER.
> 
> ...
> 
> Right? 
> 
> I mean, isn't that what happened?
> 
> Oh, wait, there's one more chapteroonie - _coming next week!!!_ Please look forward to it. (─‿‿─)
> 
> [Tumblr](https://nightyelfy.tumblr.com/)


	16. Chapter 16

_It took me a while to realize, but I think I finally figured it out. The way it all worked... and how for the first couple of years I spent in a never-ending nightmare disguised as a beautiful dream._

_In a place that was separate from reason. Covered with a veil of happiness and satisfaction so thick, it felt like nothing else mattered._

_Yet, many thoughts still ran through my head. At the time, I had no idea what any of it meant._

I want him.

I want to see him.

I want to hear his voice.

I want to be with him.

_In my dreams,_

_he’s still the way he was back when I first met him._

_He stays that way,_  
_sun-kissed hair, dazzling blue eyes, and shy but flawless smile._  
_As though a constant reminder of perfection._

_I was asleep for all those years, but during that time, in one way or another, my mind was full of him,_

_My heart, the place where we were always together._

_When I opened my eyes, and I actually go to see the person I missed for such a long time, it felt so surreal I feared I was still dreaming._

The road was bumpy, and the sudden impact with a pothole made Zack’s eyes fly open. He felt disorientated, but as soon as he got to see the barren countryside spreading endlessly before him, it all came back to him. 

„Oh, I must’ve dozed off back there,” Zack yawned and went to rub the drowsiness from his eyes. „Old man, how much further till Midgar?” he yelled as he stretched out his arms.

„You in a rush, kid? You know, you’re lucky I even gave you a ride,” the driver replied irritably. „You, city folk, are all the same, always impatient.”

It had been Zack’s wishful thinking that the bike Cissnei gave them back in Gongaga would last them the entire way to Midgar. And it would’ve probably done if they hadn’t taken the detour to Banora. In the end, considering everything it endured, the bike had served them more than well.

However, it was unfortunate that the moment the bike died was when they were in the middle of nowhere after all their supplies had run out. While Zack saw no problem with continuing the remainder of their apparent interminable journey on foot, with Cloud hanging by his side, there was no denying that he was incredibly grateful when they got picked up by a farmer who was making a trip to the city.

„We just miss it,” Zack laughed and scratched the back of his head, his hair messy in the wind. „It’s been a while, that’s all.”

„Whatever it is that’s waiting for you in the city, it’ll still be there no matter how long it takes you to get back,” the man offered, and Zack’s gaze darted to him.

„I can only hope so, old man,” he hummed and crossed his legs under him. „I mean, there are so many things to do once we get there. Now that I think about it, it’d be great to have a place to crash for a while,” Zack tapped a finger against his chin, a slightly bold idea cropping up. „We could go to her house, but the mother is also there, so...” 

Still weighing their options, Zack threw Cloud a glance, trying to picture how he would explain his absence considering... _EVERYTHING_ they’ve been through. It would be a long talk, and the closer they got to the city, the clearer it became that he wouldn’t even know where to begin spinning their extraordinary tale. Perhaps looking in a different direction for shelter for a while or until Cloud woke up would be a better choice. At least to lessen the shock of his sudden return.

Or they could check up on Aerith. She’ll undoubtedly be glad to see him, and if nothing else, Zack really missed the radiance of a friendly face. Dared he considered, he also knew exactly where to go and look for her. At the place where their roads always ended up converging—the abandoned church in the slums of Sector 5... 

„However, no matter what we end up doing, we’re gonna need some money,” Zack followed the previous train of thought and squeezed his eyes together, doing his best to assume what Lazard would say if he were with them. 

Throughout their travels together, the former Director proved that he was more than just the perfect person to have around whenever needing to haggle, win somebody’s favors, or devise an ingenious plan to get around any particularly nasty hurdle. Not to mention that even though his pockets were regularly empty, Lazard always seemed to get what he wanted. 

„We could start a business...” Zack mumbled, finding that while he was a devoted soldier during his military career, he hadn’t always been that good at following orders, so maybe being his own boss would prove to be more productive. „But what could we do? Hey Cloud, what’s something I’d be good at?”

The status of Cloud’s condition was just as much of a mystery then as it had been since their escape from Nibelheim. While the moments when he was awake increased significantly, there was room for improvement. Cloud still needed Zack’s help to get around, the words he uttered were disjointed and never felt like they belonged to him, and sometimes, he would sleep for days on end without anything seemingly able to wake him. 

Yet, he would also have moments when in his unwavering stillness, he would gaze up at the sky, quiet and distant, as though lost in the middle of an interminable ocean. Those were the times that worried Zack the most, but also encouraged him to be even more attentive towards Cloud, careful and willing to lure him back to the present with anything he could.

Unlike previously, it felt as though Cloud was actually listening whenever Zack talked to him. The way the blond looked at him when he addressed him was different, and Zack could swear that Cloud wanted to reply, yet something was holding him back, the tethers of the nightmares still tight around his conscience. 

And ever since the farmer picked them up, Cloud seemed entirely out of it. Perhaps some remnants of motion sickness that made their way back to him, Zack thought as he leaned in towards Cloud to investigate his expression, fingers just shy of carding through his long, uncombed bangs.

„Say, old man, what do you think I can do? Like as a job,” Zack peered over his shoulder and posed, recognizing that his long absence from the hustle and bustle might’ve rendered him out of touch with the ways the city functioned.

„You? Ha, don’t have much faith for you, kid. Good energy, but got too big of a mouth on ya, yappy like some sort of dog. You’ll get in trouble a lot; I can already see it,” he grumbled. „Your friend over there might have a shot at a promising future, though.”

Zack clicked his tongue, the farmer’s words stinging his pride. Though pouting, he eventually reconciled with the fact that at least Cloud got some recognition. It was nice whenever people saw him like any other regular person and not an object they claimed ownership over.

„But you’re young. Young folk should try everything, pay your dues while you can is what I always say. Go out there and look for what you really want; heck, make an adventure out of it while you’re at it!”

„That’s right!” Zack jumped up, excitement lining his bright blue eyes. „Thanks, gramps,” he offered and pressed a fist into his palm. „That settles it then, I’m gonna become a mercenary.”

„A merce-what-now? You didn’t listen to a word I said, did ya?” the driver exhaled and shook his head dismissively.

„So, Cloud, what do you think?” Zack offered and, beaming with jubilation, darted his eyes to the blond. „Should we test our skills in the mercenary world? Oh, I bet we’d be so good at it! My brawns and your brains, we’ll be famous in no time. And rich!”

„Ah, to be young and a buffoon must be nice,” the man laughed, but Zack was too preoccupied, weighing his prospects to mind him.

„Though if you don’t want to do it, that’s fine too,” Zack allowed in a softer voice. „I mean, once we get to the city and we’re in the clear again... you’ll be free to do whatever you want.”

Zack took a moment, checking to see if Cloud would lift his gaze at him, but his reaction was slow to come.

„But if you ever want to try your hand at something dangerous again, you can be sure that you and me as a team, we’d make great mercenaries. Don’t you think, Cloud?”

Despite the typical warmth and the heartfelt nature of Zack’s words, yet again, Cloud was unresponsive.

„Besides, regardless of everything else, we’re got each other’s backs, right?” Zack offered with a broad smile and pressed a hand to Cloud’s shoulder.

For a brief moment, Zack felt as though Cloud flinched. His heart stuttered as he thought he finally would be rewarded with a reaction from the blond, but Zack wasn’t allowed that sort of comfort. The air suddenly turned around them, and the next moment would have Zack standing upright, his reflex to investigate their surroundings sharp and alive. 

While he couldn’t spot anything from their location, that didn’t mean that the rocky hills and deep valleys weren’t the perfect front for an ambush or a trap of some sort. The intoxicating smell of gunpowder, oil, and heavy machinery smoke was sipping into the air, and Zack shuddered at the thought that they wouldn’t be able to reach Midgar as carefreely as he had hoped.

„Old man, I think this is a good spot to drop us off.”

A confused frown was thrown in Zack’s direction as the driver looked over his shoulder. „But we’re still far from the city.”

„A walk will do us some good, stretch our legs and whatnot,” he tried to joke, his heart thumping in his chest as he recognized how with every passing moment, the danger neared.

The man mumbled something that Zack couldn’t make out and sought to bring the car to a halt. It was probably for the best that he didn’t know the kind of people he had been driving in the back of his pick-up, as the last thing Zack wanted was to put somebody else in danger because they were kind enough to offer them a ride. 

„Stay safe, kid. And tell your friend to wake up already, huh?”

„If you only knew...” 

Zack’s words got lost as the man drove off, still none the wiser as to why those two strange travelers suddenly took to walking through the scorching heat of that unusually stuffy midday.

* * * * *

Zack held firmly onto Cloud as they distanced themselves from the road. With every step, Zack became more confident that running from their pursuers was no longer an option. Somehow, they had found them, and because they now stood between them and their much-coveted destination, Zack knew the time to act was upon him.

Rushing ahead, Zack redirected Cloud towards safety between some stone pillars, his gaze quick to dart around them, ensure that no fleeting glance spotted them. He allowed a breath once he found that the coast was momentarily clear.

Standing upright after fastening Cloud with his back against the rigid pillar, Zack took a long, endearing look at him, as though to map all those features he adored with every fragment of his being. He knew he could never have his full of Cloud, but that was not the time to dawdle. Chuckling at how full of emotions his heart was, Zack then reached out to ruffle Cloud’s hair. 

„Do you want to know what I wished for that day on the mountain?” Zack lowered his hand from Cloud’s hair to his arm and leaned in, suddenly aware of the implications of releasing such a precious and safely kept secret.

He knew Cloud cared for those superstitions, and while the only reason Zack kept to them was to respect his believes, a part of him had always desired to share his wish. Although there was no certainty if Cloud would be able to hear him or not, he felt compelled to do it. Regardless of the consequences of his action, for Cloud, Zack would do anything. 

With a smile, Zack began whispering in Cloud’s ear. „I wished that one day, under a hot sun, I’d be brave enough to tell you how much you truly mean to me.”

Zack held his fingers tight around the blond’s arm for a long moment, and then just as abruptly, he released him. He stood up and, unable to oppose the unsettling tension in the air, Zack whipped around, the image of the blond still flickering in his mind’s eye.

There had been many times when Zack fought by Cloud’s side or when he had to leave him to tend to his duties. Encounters where Zack left him in somebody else’s care while he went off to clear the road ahead for them. 

Yet, this time around, there was nobody else. 

That time around, it was the two of them, and up to a point, it was just Zack on his own, adding distance between them, his chest heavy as it kept tightening with every step that took him further away from Cloud.

Maybe that was why everything felt so different. Colder, even though it was midday, emptier, even though they were surrounded. Their separation was what dictated the weight of the air around him, and it was nothing short of stinging, excruciating, but alas, inevitable.

Zack had to go. 

He opposed his instincts for the longest time, but he had always known everything would come down to something like this. Just as with the other SOLDIER-heroes, Zack’s path was too closely connected with Shinra for him to keep evading them without having to face them one last time. Zack wasn’t one to stray from a fight, and like with Genesis, it was as though a force similar to destiny was beckoning, and he couldn’t oppose it. 

That had been the first time since they started their perilous journey that Zack couldn’t bring himself to tell Cloud that he would return. It wasn’t like he doubted his skills, reflexes, or battle prowess, he never did, but that time around, he couldn’t guarantee his return. And since lying to Cloud was not something he could do, he preferred to keep quiet about it all. 

Deep down, Zack trusted that regardless of the outcome of his confrontation, Cloud would never be alone. No matter what happened to him, Zack would be beside Cloud. Always there to safeguard and guide him, be his shield, and his ally, his friend, and pretty much anything else he would’ve wanted him to be.

With a steadfast march towards his inevitable confrontation, Zack held the memories of his time alongside Cloud closer to his heart than ever, wondering whether their moments together were merely spent on borrowed time or if they’d ever get a second chance at it all. Although many things had changed, there was no shaking the fact that ever since he had met Cloud, Zack’s life turned so much more interesting than he thought it could.

„My choice from back then... know that I never regretted it,” Zack allowed and, just as he was done talking, felt a shiver crawling up his spine. 

A type of premonition perhaps, but he couldn’t tell for sure. Swallowing a gasp, Zack refused to turn when he sensed as though Cloud had reached out to him, a desperate attempt at keeping him beside him if even for a moment longer. Although a precious thought, Zack knew that couldn’t have been possible. 

Cloud was still deep in his slumber, and by the time he had made peace with it all, Zack’s silhouette had already become one with the glistening setting sun.

* * * * *

The cliff overlooking the proud and vast city of Midgard was teeming with soldiers when Zack appeared before it. Somehow, Zack took to be thankful that it was just the Shinra military gearing up for a confrontation and not the Turks. At least his odds seemed better that way. But only a little bit.

Zack halted his stride, and with his arms on his hips, offered them a smile.

„Boy, oh, boy. The price of freedom is steep.”

Catching the stillness of the soldiers, or rather their surprise, Zack straightened up, and with precise gestures, as though he had done it more than a thousand times, he reached back for the hilt of his sword. Zack brought forth the Buster Sword and held onto it with both hands, as he opened his mouth to speak once more.

„Embrace your dreams, and whatever happens, protect your honor as SOLDIER.”

The words might’ve belonged to Angeal at one point, but now they had become so much part of Zack that they felt like they had always been his. With his goal unfaltering in his heart, eyes set on the enemies in front of him, Zack gripped the Buster Sword and... 

He charged.

* * * * *

The sound of bullets buzzing by his ear was deafening. The metal grinding upon metal, cries and screams, blood and sand and earth coalescing into a scene so horrible and devastating no amount of water could ever wash away.

At what point in their clash it had begun raining, he wasn’t sure anymore. But Zack welcomed the rain, dousing over him with each drop that poured from the heavens. 

Just like it did that day.

More than the memories it encouraged, the rain made it easier for Zack to dodge, jump, or strike and disengage when he felt the soldiers closing in on him from all directions. He used the environment to his advantage, unlike the infantry who, because of the limitations of their training area, wasn’t used to a shifting battleground. 

Thus, their engages were sloppy, erratic, hurried yet never negligible. 

Zack dodged a raffle of bullets heading straight for his chest at the last moment. He moved to the side and discouraged another round from being fired in his direction by aiming the tip of the blade in his oppressors’ direction. Intimidation was only a moment’s hesitation, but in those circumstances, it was all Zack needed to allow himself a breath and project the way of his next engage. And while that tactic had worked and assured him control over some of the battlefield, he couldn’t dictate the course of it all. 

That was when he felt it, somewhere near his shoulder. Zack hissed when his arm flinched under the shock of something sharp and cold, invasive, and acute.

Zack knew he got wounded. He could feel his side stinging but tightening his grasp on his weapon, he pushed past the discomfort. There were plenty of Shinra soldiers still in sight, and the thought that he had begun losing blood wasn’t something he would use his energy on.

Another sting, but this time his leg. The soldiers had taken advantage of Zack’s momentary staggered movement. It was frustrating to think that they had got the upper hand on him, but it wasn’t like Zack was willing to give in to his predicament. He knew all too well that in times like those, it was essential to keep moving. 

Overcome the savage pain. 

Focus on what needed to be done.

Sharp pain from his side. Another bullet grazed him, Zack gritted his teeth and brought the Buster Sword to his side, looking to close the distance between him and a bunch of menacing assailants who have been getting a few too many free shots at him.

Zack never thought of the Buster Sword heavy in his hands. Somehow, despite holding himself back from using it in the beginning, in time, he had found it to be an oddly familiar asset and had grown accustomed to its weight, its shape, its potency. In many ways, it felt as though it had been made just for him to wield. 

It was during that gruesome fight that the last bit of doubt got scraped off his heart and instead replaced with a sense of confidence and, most of all... assurance. 

For the first time, Zack felt worthy of the Buster Sword. 

As though it were acceptable for him to use it and defend those who were important to him.

Who meant the world to him.

Maybe that was why he was relentless in his engages, so fiercely in his attacks. Perhaps that was why no matter how many wounds had formed on his body, Zack kept charging. Pushing himself, his mind, his body past the tension, the fear, the agony, the feeling of futility that rose and attempted to darken his horizons whenever he saw that no matter how many soldiers he quelled, there seemed to be no end to the opposition. 

Zack fought and persevered, closing his heart shut, leaving no room for doubt or hesitation to make its way inside. And for a long time on the battlefield, it seemed as though nothing could extinguish Zack’s fiery spirit until...

He lifted his head, his eyes searching the area around him desperately, his lungs under a heavy strain to gather as much air as possible in the shortest amount of time. Somehow, Zack felt as though he had gained a reprise in the madness that had all but engulfed him moments ago only to find himself surrounded by a shower of light. 

Wide-eyed, Zack gazed upward, and instead of rain, the sky turned blue and bright as it glistened with orbs of lights. Mysterious, faint, eerie, but his senses weren’t tricking him. They were as real as he was, and he could almost feel their warmth as they brushed past him, illuminating his skin with their meek, albeit unrelenting glow.

Panting, Zack clutched onto the Buster Sword’s handle and used it steady his body, forcing the almost depleted energy within his veins to hold himself upright. With a glance, he inspected the land before him. Blinking repeatedly as though to dispel any apparitions that might’ve surfaced from his weary state, Zack turned to the other side and checked as well, this time a lot slower and more attentive. 

„Hold on... was that truly... all of them?”

His heart turned erratic in his chest as he found it close to impossible to accept the reality that settled before him. Zack didn’t know what to make of his situation, so he stood his ground, dazed and baffled, fearing that he might’ve missed a vital clue or that the assault would resume at any moment. 

Yet, no matter how closely he listened to the steady rustle of the world, there was nothing but that adorning the space around him.

As he phased uncertainty out of his mind, Zack saw no other choice but to accept his predicament. Although his body was heavy and as he struggled to adjust to his environment, Zack leaned onto the Buster Sword, gripping it tightly with both his hands as though it was his lifeline to that world. 

„Hey, Cloud...” he cried out with a half-hearted laugh, his voice shaky as his lips curled into a smile. „Cloud, did you see that?” 

Animated by the spontaneous warmth that erupted in his chest, Zack forced himself to move and trailed back to where he had previously left Cloud. With the image of blond’s face appearing before him, striking and distinctive as the rising sun, Zack released the sword from his hands and unable to oppose his overflowing heart or the sting in his eyes, he wrapped his arms around Cloud, quick to hide his face beside the safety of his neck. 

Zack held tightly onto Cloud, clutching at him as relief and guilt rushed over him and made his body shiver with nervous excitement. He had tasted happiness by Cloud’s side before, but their reunion was so stirring Zack feared that while an entire army couldn’t dull his soaring heart, his adoration for Cloud might just be the end of him. Although, fading away in Cloud’s arms didn’t sound half as bad as if it were to happen in the middle of a battlefield. 

It might’ve been because Zack was so caught up a whirl of emotions and thoughts that made him feel that Cloud reacted to his touch, his arms twitching for a split second as though Cloud wanted to reach forward and return the embrace. 

Lifting his face to him, Zack retreated, and noticing the distinctive blue flickering back to Cloud’s eyes, he found the strength he needed to push himself back on his feet. The discomfort from his wounds was still there, ever-growing the more his body relaxed, and the adrenaline subsided. But like with everything else, it was just part of what Zack had to endure. And having Cloud by his side helped a lot with that. As it always did.

„Nothing to worry about,” Zack dismissed softly and went to pull the blond’s arm and drag it over his shoulder. „In time, everything will heal,” he allowed with a smile as he aimed his head forward, determined to see their journey through to its end.

_Cloud... I’m sorry I’ve been so stingy with my words. Or rather..._

His gaze adoring as it flitted back to the blond. 

_Sloppy._

_I’ve been talking this whole time and yet... I never told you the truth._

A rush flowing through his heart, warming his chest and making him feel more alive than ever.

_I love you._

_I’ve loved you from the first moment I saw you._

_And I will keep loving you, in this life and the next._

_And in each and every one after that._

Huffing out a laugh, Zack gripped onto Cloud and began trudging, Midgar in the distance.

_You are everything I could never be,_  
_You are the blue sky, and the bright stars,_  
_The rising sun._

_You are hope._

Zack’s thoughts ran ceaselessly and forcefully through every burdened step he overcame, the only comfort that in the end, both him and Cloud would be rewarded with a much-deserved rest. And if their unnatural speck of luck allowed, perhaps even a bath.

„Almost there, Cloud. We’re almost there.”

* * * * *

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Five months and approx. one hundred thirty-five thousand words later, we have come to the end of this journey.
> 
> I could write another novel to express everything that's going through my head right now, how incredibly thrilled, sad, nervous, and proud I am that I finished this project and brought these two to a good place. I know all of you have been asking me for the longest time to give them the happy end they deserve, and what do you know? 
> 
> You were in luck because I _may or may not have spoiled MY ENTIRE STORY_ from the beginning when I added the FFVII Remake tag, and since it was a canon-compliant retelling, well... yes, this was the only way this would end. Just as we saw it did in the game *fades away in eternal bliss* 
> 
> The story of BLUE changed many times while I was writing it. As you might've heard, BLUE was only supposed to be 3 (three) chapters long, a little experiment of mine to see if I'd be any good at writing this fantastically complex character that is Zack Fair. I had no idea that I'd end up being so charmed by everything he stands for that I'd dedicate a novel-length piece to him and his adventures. While, sure, many more moments could've been added to the story, I feel that everything that was illustrated made for not only a good retelling of the story but also offered many scenes and conflicts and dialogue that we would've have been privileged to see just by playing the games and watching the cutscenes or other such media. 
> 
> All in all, this has been an IMMENSE experience for me, and while there were moments when I felt I wouldn't be able to write some scenes, somehow, it all came together incredibly well. BLUE is one of my most ambitious projects ever, and I am genuinely, genuinely proud of it.
> 
> As for what the future holds, it's hard to say for sure, but I have a few ideas I'd like to experiment with at some point. Rest assured that **BLUE WILL CONTINUE** once Remake Part II is released. As to when that's going to be, your guess is as good as mine (see you in a few years, huh?). BUT UNTIL THEN, I'm tempted to try my hand at a retelling of Advent Children, with a small twist (I'm sure you guys can already figure out what that is ʕ•́ᴥ•̀ʔっ♡).
> 
> Last but not least, I want to thank each and every one of you for reading, commenting, kudos-ing, sharing the love, and following the story for this long. I couldn't have done it without your support!!!
> 
> Special thanks to @s0mnambulist for pointing some things out for me that helped enhance the story experience; thank you for your keen eyes, detective~
> 
> Songs that enhance the experience of this chapter:  
> [SONG 1 ~ mellow feels](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=nIhYlw-O3G8&ab_channel=Woodkid-Topic)  
> [SONG 2 ~ fight](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=5tEfYvY3bAg&ab_channel=WOODKID)  
> [SONG 3 ~ break free](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=WeOFimyghIA&ab_channel=pendulumlive)
> 
> And as always, check out my [TUMBLR](https://www.tumblr.com/blog/nightyelfy) for future projects, updates, and staying in touch with my slightly writing obsessive behavior.
> 
> ᕙ(`▿´)ᕗ


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